Please don't judge me..

[Lawhra]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Why do you feel disturbed?

 

[Mummy~L]

So sorry hun! No one should judge you for the difficult desicion you have had to make

 

[abc123x]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Why do you feel disturbed?

My mom has spent her whole life making children with DS, autism, ******ation, etc... better. You wouldn't believe how many people have said that they just shouldn't be here. My own art teacher told me (in 7th grade!), that she had a brother who was born with DS, and they just sent him off to some place to live, because that's where people like that belong. People with disabilities can bring a lot of love and happiness to a family, whether they are functional or not. There are families that I know who adopt children who have problems because it means something to them. Yes, it is hard and sometimes painful, but abandoning or "terminating" your child for any reason, is disturbing.

 

[Mummy~L]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Im not sure how this is a helpful comment to the lady that started the thread!!??

 

[abc123x]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Im not sure how this is a helpful comment to the lady that started the thread!!??

I'm not sure the thread should have been started. Sorry. That will be all I have to say.

 

[jocelynmarie]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Why do you feel disturbed?

My mom has spent her whole life making children with DS, autism, ******ation, etc... better. You wouldn't believe how many people have said that they just shouldn't be here. My own art teacher told me (in 7th grade!), that she had a brother who was born with DS, and they just sent him off to some place to live, because that's where people like that belong. People with disabilities can bring a lot of love and happiness to a family, whether they are functional or not. There are families that I know who adopt children who have problems because it means something to them. Yes, it is hard and sometimes painful, but abandoning or "terminating" your child for any reason, is disturbing.

While I commend your mother for what she does, that is not needed in this thread. You are obviously entitled to your opinion, but when someone has made a very hard and painful decision responses like this are just very unneccessary.

 

[mum2beagain]

if u dont want to offer support why bother comenting the op has come on here looking for advice and asking not to be judged !!!!

 

[netty]

You made the rigth decision for you and your family

 

[netty]

well said mum2beagain

 

[Kittee]

I'm pretty sure the OP did not weigh that decision lightly and the child had more issues than just DS. She said it was DS plus a very severe heart condition that the child may not even survive the entirety of the pregnancy.

Quality of life is huge for me too and I'd hate to see a little one suffer so much.

That's a bit different than just "DS."

 

[abc123x]

if u dont want to offer support why bother comenting the op has come on here looking for advice and asking not to be judged !!!!

I'm not judging, I just think that the OP should understand that this IS offensive to people who live and work with disabled children, who they love and cherish.

It is just inappropriate. I did not say what she did was wrong, just pointed out that it may be disturbing to others. That's all.

Oh, and my brother was born with a serious heart condition... he is very small because of it, but he is wonderful. My mother knew before he was born... at 28 weeks, paralyzed on his left side. My sister in law is deaf and autistic. We love them.

This is all I have to say.

 

[nattys]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Why do you feel disturbed?

My mom has spent her whole life making children with DS, autism, ******ation, etc... better. You wouldn't believe how many people have said that they just shouldn't be here. My own art teacher told me (in 7th grade!), that she had a brother who was born with DS, and they just sent him off to some place to live, because that's where people like that belong. People with disabilities can bring a lot of love and happiness to a family, whether they are functional or not. There are families that I know who adopt children who have problems because it means something to them. Yes, it is hard and sometimes painful, but abandoning or "terminating" your child for any reason, is disturbing.

I a sorry I offended you, it was never my intention by writing this post. Let me just explain that My husband is in the military & is unfortunately away alot and all my family live over 200 hundered miles away. When my husband is away for 5 months at at a time it would me coping alone with not a lot of support. I also suffer from Epilepsy so I of all people know what it is like living with a very misunderstood condition.

 

[Lawhra]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Why do you feel disturbed?

My mom has spent her whole life making children with DS, autism, ******ation, etc... better. You wouldn't believe how many people have said that they just shouldn't be here. My own art teacher told me (in 7th grade!), that she had a brother who was born with DS, and they just sent him off to some place to live, because that's where people like that belong. People with disabilities can bring a lot of love and happiness to a family, whether they are functional or not. There are families that I know who adopt children who have problems because it means something to them. Yes, it is hard and sometimes painful, but abandoning or "terminating" your child for any reason, is disturbing.

I can understand why you feel the way you do. My grandma used to be a chef at a special needs school, in which my friend now works, and the children are happy. And I know some DS children go on to have reasonably normal lives, but if the OP knows she would not be able to cope with a DS and sickly child then surely best to decide what she did then abandon (as some do) or struggle with a born child?

She clearly went through turmoil and struggled with the decision. You have compassion which is obvious, but maybe the OP deserves some just as much as the children.

 

[hayley x]

x

 

[abc123x]

I'm not trying to "judge" you, but to be honest... I cannot help but feel disturbed.

Why do you feel disturbed?

My mom has spent her whole life making children with DS, autism, ******ation, etc... better. You wouldn't believe how many people have said that they just shouldn't be here. My own art teacher told me (in 7th grade!), that she had a brother who was born with DS, and they just sent him off to some place to live, because that's where people like that belong. People with disabilities can bring a lot of love and happiness to a family, whether they are functional or not. There are families that I know who adopt children who have problems because it means something to them. Yes, it is hard and sometimes painful, but abandoning or "terminating" your child for any reason, is disturbing.

I a sorry I offended you, it was never my intention by writing this post. Let me just explain that My husband is in the military & is unfortunately away alot and all my family live over 200 hundered miles away. When my husband is away for 5 months at at a time it would me coping alone with not a lot of support. I also suffer from Epilepsy so I of all people know what it is like living with a very misunderstood condition.

I understand it is a very scary prospect. I hope you find what you are looking for with your next pregnancy, and you have a healthy baby. But you just never know.

Have faith and best of luck.

 

[mistyscott]

I think that's a bit unfair to the OP - she did say there was a severe heart defect too.

I think this is a deeply personal decision - and having also worked with people with DS I think it's the most difficult decision any parent ever has to go through. It takes a lot of strength to be honest about one's feelings, and any child is worse off with parents who feel difficulty in loving/accepting it - DS or not. Attachment problems are common in children with DS, precisely because the parent is often grieving the child they thought they were going to get.

I was thinking of this situation this morning myself; my OH has been very honest in saying he doesn't think he could cope with a child who had something like DS. I don't judge him for that, I just hope and pray we won't be put in the same position as the OP. Until it happens to you, I'm not sure you'd know what you'd feel, let alone decide.

In my opinion, there's no 'right' answer in this situation - only what's right for the parents themselves.

 

[hayley x]

if u dont want to offer support why bother comenting the op has come on here looking for advice and asking not to be judged !!!!

I'm not judging, I just think that the OP should understand that this IS offensive to people who live and work with disabled children, who they love and cherish.

It is just inappropriate. I did not say what she did was wrong, just pointed out that it may be disturbing to others. That's all.

Oh, and my brother was born with a serious heart condition... he is very small because of it, but he is wonderful. My mother knew before he was born... at 28 weeks, paralyed on his left side. My sister in law is deaf and autistic. We love them.

This is all I have to say.

.....And the OP loves her baby too, which is why she did what she needed to do, for the baby and for the family she did what is 'right'. no one can judge, I can only imagine what this brave lady went through!!

 

[aob1013]

Oh my god, i am so so so so sorry, There is a part of the forum which is private which you can go into to speak to other mums who have beenthrough the same thing. I think it's called ethnical prenatal lossses.

I am so sorry xxxxxxx

 

[Kayleigh Lou]

Thinking of you xxxx

 

[scots_mum]

IMO a woman who decides to terminate a pregnancy for ANY reason does not deserve to be judged, that is her right as a women and her choice to make based on whats right for her. I think its shocking that others would judge on such a difficult decision.