Please let me vent - feeling down with 4th pregnancy

[orangesatsuma]

Hi I'm expecting my 4th in May. I'll be 39 by then. Although I was on pills, somehow It happened, yes this is unexpected pregnancy.

My kids are two older boys 9, 7 and a little girl 2. When I've found out that I'm pregnant again, somehow I thought it's a girl. Well, at my first scan the sonographer was very confident about guessing the gender - girl. Although we didn't have a plan to have more kids, my desired family was two boys first and two girls later, so it was almost perfect... I know I shouldn't be saying this... I feel selfish to say that I know... I'm happy with my three kids, but happy to have another girl too. I feel like I'm done with all boys things with my sons and I personally do not want to repeat the boy's phase again. It sounds so strong, but this is my honest feeling.

And here comes... Yes, my 4th is a boy. At the recent scan it's confirmed. I don't want to admit, but I am disappointed. I feel extremely sorry for this baby, but cannot overcome the sadness I'm feeling naturally...

Having three has been hard enough, and there will be yet another child to look after... take care of him FOREVER. Because I already have three, I know it is not easy. It is not just like having a puppy, it is a life long responcibility. Living in a small place in a central big city, I cannot imagine how I'm going to handle all. My husband has lost job recently, I don't think I can work for a while either. Older kids' lessons and homework to deal with... Everything is not according to the plan I had. I know we cannot predict everything in the future, but I'm feeling down... Currently I'm suffering from all the comments I'm receiving - wow, 4th kid?! etc. as well...

Sorry I'm moaning over something I just have to get on well with. I do know that I am so blessed to have children, after having so many miscarriagres especially before my 1st son was born. I just needed to vent my true feeling...

Thanks for reading... Please do not leave negative feedback. I don't think I can take anymore...

 

[future_numan]

I don't think your feeling are uncalled for.. sounds to me like you are shocked and scared
I am sure your feeling will continue to go up and down through out the pregnancy ( again very normal )
You are not alone and tons of women have felt the way you do right now.
Have you talked to your husband ? Or maybe you have a BFF who you can talk to ? Sounds like you have alot on your shoulders.

 

[orangesatsuma]

I don't think your feeling are uncalled for.. sounds to me like you are shocked and scared
I am sure your feeling will continue to go up and down through out the pregnancy ( again very normal )
You are not alone and tons of women have felt the way you do right now.
Have you talked to your husband ? Or maybe you have a BFF who you can talk to ? Sounds like you have alot on your shoulders.

Thank you so much for the lovely comment which lift me up You are so right that I'm just so scared of this unknown future. My youngest is 2 and 1/2, she is very cheerful and independent. Things are getting so easy and I feel like I'm getting my life back.... and having a new born again. It'll all start from scratch

As being a boys' mum, I know they are equally cute and fun to be with. It's just that I had a picture of my daughter having a sister. I guess because I have only one sibling, a sister.

Also I suffered GD once before with my 2nd son. I was told that it's a girl at 22wk scan, and at birth it was a surprise - a boy was born.

Sorry I cannot sum up what I'm trying to say... Yes I'm just sooo confused right now

 

[DeeM73]

You're not being selfish at all,it's natural to have these thoughts.I have 2 kids aged 13 and 12 and here I am expecting again.I feel like I am starting all over again but looking forward to it.I have days that I think can't believe I'm about to go through it again and others I can't wait for baby no.3 I guess it's just the hormones!I think having a chat with someone would be a great idea too x

 

[Pussycat]

I think there's a lot of pressure to feel grateful for being pregnant whether you have kids already or even if it's your first, and the thing is, having a baby IS a big deal. Of course you feel nervous about it, it's completely understandable. Try not to beat yourself up about it, how you feel is how you feel and you don't have to justify that to anyone.

 

[suzimc]

You poor thing! Don't worry about what anyone thinks and ofcourse you can vent and we'll listen, that's what this forum is for I think! You're bound to be confused and upset I know I've been on an emotional rollercoaster and I haven't half the things to worry about that you do honey. Good luck xxx

 

[orangesatsuma]

Thank you so much, ladies. I'm so grateful that there are somebody can understand how I feel...

 

[XxChristinexX]

You are not alone in how you are feeling I was adamant there would be no more as I have an almost 7 yr old son, I am 39 now. DS was enough for me, didn`t feel the need for any more as he is my world. But here I am about to start all over again People keep telling me it will keep me young I don`t feel very young....lol.

I have my good days and bad days, some days I think "I can do this",then others I think "Why the hell did I get myself into this".

In the end, I know I will get there, and you will too Good Luck

 

[orangesatsuma]

Thank you very much. I feel ok and positive about all the change I'm facing, and feel very upset again. May be like you are feeling - Ups and downs, quite a few times a day. I'm sure once the bubba is in my arms, I'll be thrilled in a positive way and get through the tough time again.

Having little one keep me young - sounds great!

 

[DeeM73]

You will get there I sure know how you feel.I have days where I feel great and then all of a sudden worried.I'm just hoping it's hormones!! Xx

 

[future_numan]

Even though we planned this pregnancy, I sometimes wonder if I can do it again..
My two year can tire me and the thought of being up at night with a newborn and up during the day with an active 2 yr old.. scares me.
Also this is my first boy ( after 4 girls) and after watching other ppl's sons ( I do home daycare) I am even more worried as I see a huge difference between boys and girls..
So, see.. everyone can feel overwelmed..

 

[orangesatsuma]

I guess I know what you mean. My little daughter is content, easier to look after, compare to my 2nd son when he was this age. I think he was a sort of typical boy boy. On the other hand, my 1st son was also content and he was not jealous over his new siblings, although he's a boy. So I guess it depends what sort of character this baby is and also the reaction of the older ones.

Very best of luck to you too