Please.....opinions needed

[Anja]

I have double posted this but really need thoughts:

really want to know other parents view on bathing with parents. I have a daughter who is 6 and she has a bath occassionally with her dad. I have no problem with this at all but since she has been getting older I do have certain problems with it. When they bath, my husband lays down with his legs apart and she sits up in between them and then cleans his body all over (excluding his penis and bum). I really dont like this as there is no bubble bath in the water and, for me, the close proximity of his penis to her when he lays down just makes me uncomfortable. I have asked my husband on numerous occasions to stay sat up when they bath together and then I have no issues at all. We have just had a huge row about this and he has basically said that i am accusing him of abusing her! If this was the case he wouldnt be living in the house, the police would have been called and actually i would probably have killed him by now.....and I certainly wouldnt say that bathing together was fine!!!!

Anyway what i need to know is if I am being unreasonable about this. He says there isnt a man or woman in the world who would agree with me and I am being totally out of order.....please please can you give me your views.

 

[artypants2008]

My opinion and it is only an opinion. I think it's about time they bathed on their own.

It could only take your daughter to mention it, innocently, at school or in front of another mum and you could have SS knocking at your door. The traumer that your family would go through then would be worse than arguing whether its right or not.

I don't think you are being unreasonable and if I were uncomfortable about anything in regards to my child I would hope that my partner would support me even if he didn't agree.

 

[keelykat]

hello, i think 6 is too old for sharing baths with dad to be honest-but that's just how i feel.

keely.

 

[princessellie]

i must say, i wouldnt like it, tbh i wouldnt put her in the bath with her dad now...i just dont like the idea

x

 

[polo_princess]

Hmmm i think 6 is a bit too old to be bathing with a parent, having said that how many people bath their children together? I know i used to bath with my little brother until i was about 5.

They "know" too much at that age and ask to many questions which would make me uncomfortable.

 

[ryder]

i must say, i wouldnt like it, tbh i wouldnt put her in the bath with her dad now...i just dont like the idea

x

agreed... she is at a curious... but innocent age where she will be starting to talk about things.

 

[Anja]

Thank you for your responses. This isnt about right or wrong, but I have to say I am relieved that I am not the olnly one who isnt happy about it and I am not out of order for not wanting them to bath together. I have just been made to feel so bad about it and accused of so many different things because I said i wasnt happy that I was thinking maybe he could be right. I just wanted him to repect my feelings on the subject, instead he says I am accusing him of child abuse! To be honest I am a bit of a wreck!

 

[leeanne]

Hmmm i think 6 is a bit too old to be bathing with a parent, having said that how many people bath their children together? I know i used to bath with my little brother until i was about 5.

They "know" too much at that age and ask to many questions which would make me uncomfortable.

No way in hell would I have my kids bathing with me or even dad at that age.

On another note, my kids stopped bathing together about a year ago. It was more my daughter wanting to have her own bath by herself, and, granted, she was 6 and was starting to get modest. Jayden wasn't too happy at first as he loved playing with Amanda with their toys in the bathtub.

But now he's getting some modesty too.

 

[Serene123]

To be honest, I've never thought about it, but I think it would make me quite uncomfortable!

 

[Anja]

If there are any men out there I would really appreciate their opinions on this too!!
xxx

 

[princess_bump]

tbh imo it wouldn't bother me though james doesn't like to bath with maddi, so that's his decision. i used to bath with my mum till quite old, maybe 7, we had a corner bath and i would sit on the seat and we'd chat etc. even now, although we obviously don't bath together we still chat whilst the other is showering/bathing when i'm at home or if she's at mine. but thats just how we are, and i think its probably due to me being an only child, and my mum left me 'real' dad when i was 6 so it was just us x

 

[alloyd519]

I totally agree with you on this one. I think it's a little too old now, and you know how kids say everything, so like someone said before it could just take her saying something at school and a parent or teacher hearing it and taking it the wrong way.

 

[nikky0907]

I have to agree with the rest of the girls, it would make me really uncomfortable too.

 

[Anja]

Can I ask why it would make you all feel uncomfortable?

 

[Genevieve1978]

i used to bath with my mum till quite old, maybe 7, we had a corner bath and i would sit on the seat and we'd chat etc. even now, although we obviously don't bath together we still chat whilst the other is showering/bathing when i'm at home or if she's at mine. but thats just how we are, and i think its probably due to me being an only child, and my mum left me 'real' dad when i was 6 so it was just us x

If you're a girl bathing with your mother until 6ish, I think it's different! You have the same body parts, there are less questions asked, etc ... It's like going to public baths, men and women are not all together in the same sauna and changing rooms!!!

I don't remember ever bathing with my father ... I did with my brother until we were 6 or so.

I have nothing against my husband washing the kids, but I wouldn't want him to get in the bath naked with them.

I agree with the others. Your daughter is too old to be taking a bath with her dad, especially if he sits her down close to his private parts. I myself am a teacher and kids do tend to say too much sometimes!

I'm pretty sure he'd understand if she were to tell him that she wanted to take baths alone as she is a big girl now! Maybe you could talk to her and she'll relay the info to her dad after?!?

 

[sabby52]

I dont think it would bother me, if Dan had of been a girl he would have seen everything by now because daddy likes to walk around naked !!! It is only a body part, Dan comes into the bathroom while me or his dad is in the bath. I understand she is only 6 but what is wrong with her seeing a penis ?? This is just my opinion, I know most dont agree with it but I think it is normal for kids to see the human body, we have always made Dan aware of the differences and we will also make Dec aware. Now dont bite me !!!!! Lol

Forgot to say I asked hubby about this and he didnt see a problem either. Maybe we are a weird family.

 

[lulu0504]

I tend to agree with sabby. I think its alright as in my eyes its completely innocent. Maybe its just society and the ways of the world that makes everyone see it as potentialy a dangerous situation if misunderstood but surely most children see their parents dressing anyway? As long as there is no wrong-doing what is the problem? What would happen if your OH took her swimming? surely she'd have to get changed in front of him and viceversa so don't see much difference. My OH quite regularly bathes with our LO and his 8yr old son. If i think anything is wrong its bathing with siblings once they are both of a certain age. sorry if that doesn't make too much sense!

 

[Anja]

I have no problem at all with her seeing him naked. we are very open about our bodies and all walk around naked in the mornings, during the night etc. My problem is that he lays down in the bath with her between his legs, and for me her hands, and body are just too close to his bits for my comfort.

 

[ryder]

We're open about things too... and we also have no issue walking around naked, because there isnt anything to be ashamed of. I likely would not bath myself with a 6/7 year old... let alone my hubby bathing with our daughter... like you said they are just too close for comfort.

 

[1st_baby]

I just have to post in this one I am a proud nudist and plan to raise my boy the same way ..if this makes you feel uncomfortable then maybe theres a trust issue you have with your husband , and you need to speak to him about it ..yes she will ask questions one day but better she know it now then later ..

I take my bath with my son all the time and when the day comes that he will ask questions i will tell him . ON serious not remember that she can one day mention this to friends or teachers and you may have SS on your case so bets deal with this now and let her take her bath on her own ..