please tell me im not overreacting...

[emalou90]

(i dont want this to become an 'i hate my oh' thread but i need a rant)




so he picks me up from work without me asking (as i find it hard to walk home now with my bad back and hip aches)
we go to asda to get some food shopping without any problems,
but as soon as we get home it starts...



oh - 'right lets put the food away before we do anything'
me - *running upstairs* 'need a wee, be down in a sec'
(meanwhile i return downstairs)
me - 'oh *giggle* you put the shopping away, well i'll put the milk and cereal away'
oh - 'thought i'd let you do them'
me - 'erm well okay thats fine, no worries '
(meanwhile OH sits on his bum with laptop out paying no attention that im putting shopping away or having a tidy)
oh - 'oh can you clean up your rubbish'
me - 'oh wait? i thought you wanted me to put the shopping away? don't worry i'll pick up my CRISP PACKET after this'
(while he hasn't put his two beer cans, pepsi can, microwave meal tray, mug and fork in the bin/washed them up! which have also sat there for two days)


me - 'right i'll just put a curry in, oh and i need a sit down, my back is killing'
(after sitting down...)
oh - 'put me a curry in too'
me - 'okay'
oh - 'a chicken one, oh no wait, a beef one, actually, chicken'
(meanwhile mine pings and i get it out and put his in with no fuss, even though i havent sat down since i got in and after being at work standing up for 4/5 hours)


oh -'the cat stinks'
me - 'oh why is that? because the litter tray isn't clean?'
oh - 'well mmhh'
(he was the one who offered to clean the cat tray from now on, its not like its hard ladies, is it? just grin and bear it)


After dinner and Eastenders -

oh - *flicking through channels* 'fuck sake'
me - 'what? what..?'
oh - 'theres never anything on'
me - 'oh i suppose, there's road wars on?'
oh - 'no its shit' (gets up, tutting a sighing picks my fork out of my curry tray)
me - 'look, what's wrong?'
oh - 'nothing'
me - 'well obviously something is else you wouldn't be tutting'
oh - 'i just want the kitchen done, im just tired of living in such a shithole, its taking bloody ages'
me - 'you know what, i'm not even going to bother'
(i walk upstairs to avoid me snapping into confrontation about how we're just moved in and building a new kitchen takes time and a bit of chaos including having boxes in our living room with kitchen stuff in)




i just can't take this anymore, why is he being like this? i've confronted him but he always says something like 'im not being like that' blah blah. so then i feel bad to have asked him/told him whats bothering me!

i'm the one who's pregnant and having to live of unhealthy microwave meals because we have no kitchen BUT i don't make a big fuss about it, i just try and fit in veg and healthy things around our evening meal.


but whatever, im now, for the second night, because i don't want to snap at OH, sitting in our bedroom with my cat, feeling a bit upset and alone.

sorry girls for adding another rant about a wonderful OH but needs to be done when i cant speak to anyone about this

 

[alibaba24]

ok now i have to say id Be MEGA F**KED off with that!!! its not your fault is it it takes time to do the kitchen etc. to me he sounds like the type that sits and expect the missus to do everything! i dont know thats just how it seems however id be telling him to get off his ass and clean the friggin cat tray rather than sit and moan

 

[littledancer]

Hmm, sorry you're going through this hon- he does sound a little like mine. They want to help etc. but also kinda make you feel a bit guilty for them having to help- if that makes sense?

I don't know what advice to offer other than to try and talk to him about how you're feeling. Sometimes that helps...

 

[hivechild]

Not that it's right for your hubby to be acting the way he is toward you, but I can understand how he's feeling. I'd be completely out of sorts too if I were in the same situation with my home. He definitely shouldn't be taking it out on you though. It's really not your fault!

 

[emalou90]

you see, i agree, yet i'm trying this new thing, not to get mad! (because i always do) though walking away seems to achieve nothing where as if i get so worn down with anger and frustration that i cry infront of him then he feels bad!

i REALLY dont want to let it get to that

but i feel he's pushing me bit by bit x

 

[emalou90]

Hmm, sorry you're going through this hon- he does sound a little like mine. They want to help etc. but also kinda make you feel a bit guilty for them having to help- if that makes sense?

I don't know what advice to offer other than to try and talk to him about how you're feeling. Sometimes that helps...

thats exactly it!!

(why?)

i feel bad all the time if he actually gets off his laptop and does something for me

thats not right x

 

[littledancer]

Hmm, sorry you're going through this hon- he does sound a little like mine. They want to help etc. but also kinda make you feel a bit guilty for them having to help- if that makes sense?

I don't know what advice to offer other than to try and talk to him about how you're feeling. Sometimes that helps...

thats exactly it!!

(why?)

i feel bad all the time if he actually gets off his laptop and does something for me

thats not right x

Yep...I feel guilty when he does anything for me (goes and picks up dinner, cleans the kitchen etc.) but then I get annoyed when he leaves everything for me to do as well - i.e. leaves the kitchen filthy so I have to clean it when I get home from work...so I really can't win lol...

 

[emalou90]

its just i've put up with it for a few weeks now
its getting me down, i feel so alone.

i mean another thing is... he hasnt (all evening) come upstairs to see if i'm alright?
surely i cant be overreacting if i feel a little on my own right now!


i need some serious hugs

 

[amazed]

I would be pretty annoyed aswell hun x

 

[Seity]

I'd be annoyed as all heck. If something is bothering him so much he feels the need to point it out to you, he can bloody well, get off his perfectly good arse and use his two perfectly good arms and hands to do it himself.

For comparison, my OH also said he'd take care of the cat litter. One time he forget and it stank, so I started to do it. He practically jumped off the couch and said, "Next time, just remind me if I forget." Also, just this morning the litter in the basement (we have two boxes) for whatever reason stank enough or my nose was being over sensitive and it made me gag. I mentioned it to my husband and he said he'd be sure to clean the box and put fresh litter in before I got home.

 

[NuKe]

you have SO much more restraint than me! after the initial thing of making u put all the shopping away by yourself, id have told my oh to go and fuck himself and made myself a cup of tea! maybe hes just in a funny mood? my oh gets those and they really REALLY bug me, cuz hes pissy but for no reason whatsoever which is sooooooooo bloody annoying!!

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

Weeeeeell, I think maybe your hormones might be getting the better of you just a little. He picked you up from work and he put most of the shopping away and then he sat down, other than asking you to tidy up something and put his dinner on while you were up anyway I can't really see what he's done wrong?

I think getting a bit moody about the kitchen and nothing on TV is annoying but he's only human, I know I'd be the same and I know OH would whine too but I don't think it's anything worth writing home about. Just tell him it'll all be done soon and you'll have a lovely new kitchen and it'll all be worth it. Don't fight negativity with negativity, it'll only bring you both down.

 

[BBonBoard]

LOL, sounds like my husband at times, he sees me rushing around the house cleaning and doing dishes and laundry. Then I cook dinner, all while he sits at the computer. I swear sometimes HE acts like he is the PREGNANT one. But I love him very much, and its just something I will live with.

I think it must be a guy thing.

 

[emalou90]

Weeeeeell, I think maybe your hormones might be getting the better of you just a little. He picked you up from work and he put most of the shopping away and then he sat down, other than asking you to tidy up something and put his dinner on while you were up anyway I can't really see what he's done wrong?

I think getting a bit moody about the kitchen and nothing on TV is annoying but he's only human, I know I'd be the same and I know OH would whine too but I don't think it's anything worth writing home about. Just tell him it'll all be done soon and you'll have a lovely new kitchen and it'll all be worth it. Don't fight negativity with negativity, it'll only bring you both down.

i thought so too because once i got upstairs i felt so bad like i needed to rush downstairs and apologise! hehe.

oh well im glad someone sided with my OH actually like i said i didnt want this thread to become an 'i hate my oh' thread! haha

we're okay this morning it seems, he even gave me a back massage because my back is killing me.

he's lovely really, sometimes i just need to walk away before i moan at him x

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

Well, you're better than me! If I was cross with OH and somebody came along and agreed with him (even if I knew I was wrong) I'd be cross! Ahaha...

 

[AimeeM]

Got to say, you handled it really well by going upstairs. I would have bitten his head off!!

Maybe that is what he needs to show him how strongly he is pissing you off. Put him in his place!

 

[emalou90]

in a way i think i did the right thing by not going off the handle
thanks girls you all helped!


x

 

[new mummy h]

id feel p*ssed off too after all that!! he needs to realise that you are pregnant and that you need to rest and be looked after! xx