plus size and pregnant !

[tryn4]

I've been trying *very* hard not to care and I not only don't own a scale (they all went with my attempt to overcome disordered eating habits), but I ignore the scales at the monthly appointments. But, it's hard not to care when your doctor tells you that at the rate you're going, you'll be too fat to deliver any way but C-section, "because that's the only way overweight women like yourself can deliver". Also that "heavy women like you just tend to be uncomfortable post-partum". Crap like that kicks up those old voices that whisper at you to stop eating, your body can take care of the baby like it's meant to, just don't eat. My hubby actually got pretty mad at the doctor (since he's been a major factor in helping me with my eating problems) and he's been keen to the fact that I've spent my days since the appointment fat-shaming myself and self-hating (almost to the point of resurrecting self-injurious behavior) because the doctor said the words I've been happily ignoring for almost six months now. My hubby loves me for far more than my dress size (and thank God he loves more weight on my bones than less), has thoroughly enjoyed watching our son grow, and keeps telling me I'm beautiful no matter what. I trust him, but sometimes it's nice to hear a stranger echo the sentiment that you're beautiful no matter what.

I am so sorry you have gone thru that kind of verbal abuse. He should have his licence taken away. I am 287 lbs, size 20-22 with a bmi of 46 and I have had 4 very healthy vag deliveries, I plan on having the same for my 5th in February. I was up and doing laundry, and shopping etc within 48 hours with no difficulty whatsoever. I am not ashamed of my size and neither should you be no matter how big or small you are. My husband would have lost his mind if he ever heard anyone much less a medical professional feel that way, AND that would only be second to the piece of cussing I would have laced on that doc. I know it is very difficult dealing with eating disorders, and self esteem, I myself havent really been affected but I just wanted to let you know that you are PERFECT. Please dont ever let anyone convince you otherwise. You make sure to eat and feed that baby and yourself, and continue blocking out the nonsense. You have a lovely man who adores you, and are a great mum. BIG to you!

 

[Mummafrog]

Rose sweetie, I just wanted to say what that unprofessional egit said to you is horrendous, if you told a good midwife about that I think they would trip over! That person's words probably stem from their own issues that have nothing to do with you or they literally just have no idea about women and how we birth. In other countries where ladies are naturally larger they birth their babies just fine every day. Can I ask if you're in England? In the NHS here they worry about BMI because of potentially having to lift or move women if there is a problem and they are scared they won't be able to do that. It's all about protecting themselves against being sued and has very little to do with the slightly increased risks (which are much more to do with lifestyle and have no basis for the individual).
As a student midwife and mother-to-be I have every faith in your ability to birth your baby and you will be beautiful doing so!
If you can't get the doctors ridiculous notions out of the back of your mind, I would get a second opinion and it might bring comfort

Wanted to add, I want to see more bump pictures of you beautiful round ladies pwease! I can't wait to start showing xx

 

[halullat]

I haven't really said much on this board, but just wanted to say to Rose that I have had similar issues in this pregnancy with having my eating disorder triggered, I was so scared to eat as I thought every calorie I ate was hurting my baby and it broke my heart, I luckily - like you - have a lovely husband who tried to persuade me to look after myself, I found it nearly impossible until I spoke to a lovely midwife over the phone, I would recommend talking to someone like a midwife as she really helped me to feel somewhat better.

I still feel really scared about everything but if you ever want to pm me to chat then please feel free to as I know how horrible it is to be having those thoughts xx

 

[lovelymiss]

Rose, that is awful and so uncalled for. I'd be calling into the head of the department or something to make a complaint! That is not true at all. Plenty of bigger mamas have very normal vaginal deliveries. For your doc to try to "scare" you like that is unprofessional to say the least. *hugs* You are beautiful and a wonderful mama. You've obviously been through a lot and have come so far. Chin up. You have wonderful support on these boards, and also in your husband. Wishing you all of the best!!

 

[chazzmatazz]

I thought I would share with you my current view lol! Feeling huge!

 

[Kyten1978]

I hate pictures. But here is my pic 26 weeks today.

 

[tryn4]

Chazz & kyten great bumps. I will post some pics this weekend. X

 

[Avas_mum]

I have not posted on here in a while....lovely bump photos ladies, I may even load one myself!

Rose that is awful how you were treated...I just wanted to say that I had a bad experience with my midwife. I have a BMI of 31 and it felt like everytime I would go and visit her for a checkup I was attending a Jenny Craig weigh in and meeting. All she would go on about was my diet and what I was eating . I have always been on the bigger side but I live a healthy lifestyle and exercise and had no complications with my DD when she was born. The last appointment I had with her I had enough, I was not excited to go to my midwife and it was affecting the happy experience I should have been having with my pregnancy, the baby was only talked about for all of 2 minutes when we checked the heartbeat and that was it.

Sorry for the rant but long story short I have called her and bluntly explained to her why I was changing midwives. I have not looked back, I had my first appointment with the new MW and she is lovely and also a plus size lady herself. I really hope you do not have to be treated like that again it is totally uncalled for.

 

[tryn4]

as promised here are my very VERY informal bump pics lol...excuse the house clothes and uncombed hair! 25+5

 

[lovelymiss]

tryn: Cute! I love your top haha. Great bump.

Avas: Ugh! That would drive me bonkers. I'd probably change providers tbh, but that's just me. Hope it gets better, hun.

 

[fxforbabyb]

Hi Ladies

So happy to have found this thread!!!
I am 14 weeks pregnant with my first and plus size, so far so good lol
Just have a couple of questions for you ladies that are farther ahead than me.

when did you start to show?
what week did you start to feel movement?

 

[Melly Belly]

Hi Ladies

So happy to have found this thread!!!
I am 14 weeks pregnant with my first and plus size, so far so good lol
Just have a couple of questions for you ladies that are farther ahead than me.

when did you start to show?
what week did you start to feel movement?

I am just now starting to show (about 17 weeks, im 18+2 currently ) though it isnt blataly obvious yet, i can still wear my normal jeans, just not buttoned as they are uncomfortable...and i felt some flutters around 15 weeks, just now starting to feel them more often and a few kicks, maybe punches here and there

 

[Zooy]

Can I join you ladies? I'm 11+4 weeks and weighing in at 275. Luckily I haven't gained yet, I lost 21 lbs in my first tri before I realized I was pregnant/

 

[tryn4]

Welcome ladies!

I myself did not start feeling proper movement until 19 weeks. Anything before that I chalk up to gas. This is my 5th, and women who have had a lot of kids tend to show bigger (like a false showing) so about 14 weeks I started getting a bump, defined by 16 or 17 weeks, and now its blown up lol.

 

[Whitesoxfan41]

Welcome ladies! I started showing fairly early, I think just because of my build. My already chunky tummy just got harder and took a nice shape. LOL! I have an anterior placenta though and didn't feel proper movement until 22-23 weeks or so. . .

 

[Zooy]

With my son, you couldn't really tell I was pregnant until about 24 weeks, this time I already have a bump. I can't suck it in anymore lol

 

[emmajane]

Deleted

 

[emmajane]

Duplicate post

 

[donnarobinson]

Hope ur all ok girls..

Nearly at double digits 4 me going so quick. I don't feel like I've gained much weight apart from my huge bump. I'm not weighing my self tho . X

 

[Whitesoxfan41]

Doing okay here. . .I've gained about 10lbs over my starting weight. I'm fairly uncomfortable already so not totally looking forward to being even bigger.