Post-mc follow-up scans..?

[cherrytomato]

Hi ladies,

I'm just coming to the end of a mc...first pregnancy. I have to go back to the EPU in a week or so for another scan when I think they check that everything's cleared out.

I was just wondering if anyone else has had one of these follow-up scans and whether they can tell you anything other than whether the mc is finished? I know they can't tell me why it happened, but I was wondering whether they might be able to see anything that tells us how far along I might be in my cycle or anything...? Clutching at straws maybe, but I just want any information I can get my hands on!

Thanks xx

 

[baileybubs]

Hi cherrytomato,

I also had a mmc, the miscarriage started 16 days ago. I had a scan last week to check how it was going as I didnt think I had passed my baby. The scan showed mixed echoes which they guessed we're blood clots. Also they measured my endometrial thickness to see how it was clearing and it was still quite thick at 10mm. Besides that there isn't much they told me. I don't think they can tell you anything about how far along you are in your cycle. But it can help to give you a bit of closure, I at least know now that I have passed my baby. And I also know that there wasn't a problem with the thickness of my uterus lining.

I don't know if that helps any. So sorry for your loss though and wish you lots of baby dust for the future xxxxx

 

[cherrytomato]

Thanks Baileybubs. I had a scan when things started to go wrong a week ago - saw the baby, the heartbeat. They couldn't see anything wrong but by that evening we were in A&E. The next morning they scanned again and couldn't see baby or heartbeat. It had only measured 6 weeks and I seem to have stopped mc-ing now, so I think this stage is over. Thanks for sharing your experience, I just find it helps to know what to expect...I hadn't really planned for this to be part of the story. I'm really sorry you're going through this...fingers crossed we'll never have to do it again xx

 

[Pebbles11]

Hello cherry and bailey, we sound like we're in a similar position. It's so hard isn't it - I know I need to accept that sometimes these things just happen but I want answers too!
I miscarried my first pregnancy on Tuesday, I was 9 weeks but baby measured only 7 weeks 4 days. I had been bleeding on and off since 5 weeks 3 days and had a scan only a couple of days before it died showing all good with a heartbeat, so we thought we were good to go. Then heavier bleeding at the weekend with a natural m/c in the early hours of Wednesday. I'm pleased I didn't have to d&c and I do feel like its all gone but not sure whether to get scanned to check anyway? Do you have to do this?
I sort of felt that the whole thing wasn't quite 'right' but I didn't want to admit it to anyone.
What are your plans now? We're going to ttc straight away - I know that's the only way I can get over this. I have booked my first acupuncture appointment for next week & I'm going to see the doc to see if I have a UTI. I have a huge tray full of vitamins too - leaving nothing to chance this time! Hugs to you both x

 

[baileybubs]

Hi pebbles,

You don't have to have a follow up scan, the nurses at the EPAU seem to think that once the bleeding stops everything is fine, it's just if the bleeding continues that if indicates your uterus might still have some placental tissue or something like that. I am still bleeding but fingers crossed it seems to have slowed almost to a stop today (yay!) I just hope that's it now!! Otherwise I have to phone the hospital again on Monday for yet another scan. Also they said don't worry too much about everything "coming out" as your body can absorb some of it anyway and it won't be harmful. Hope that helps a little more!

I am letting my body get back to its natural menstrual cycle by waiting 2/3 AF's. I had just come off the pill after 10 years when I found out I was pregnant so think I need to let my body relax and be normal before I start trying again. Plus me and oh have zero savings, no mortgage and crap jobs so I'd like that to change. On the other hand I want to get pregnant before Xmas too, I have another fear that it will take a while to get pregnant again so don't want to wait too long!! I need to have a baby or I will forever feel like a woman who miscarried....if that makes sense!!

 

[cherrytomato]

Hi Pebbles,

I was told to go to the EPU the morning after my A&E visit for a scan, when I was 'in the throes of a miscarriage' as the sonographer so gently put it. I think if you go to hospital and they say you're having a mc, they automatically book you in for another scan a couple of weeks later (or maybe that's just our local EPU)? They gave me a couple of leaflets, and there's some info on this page of the Miscarriage Association website. Some of it is a bit unpleasant to read, so the bit I'm referring to says: 'The hospital is likely to invite you back for another scan or scans over the next few weeks to monitor progress and ensure that the womb has emptied.'

I'm sorry you had the same rollercoaster we did with a promising scan followed by mc....it sucks. I hope you're doing ok and the acupuncture helps.

We were told that we can ttc straight away, they suggest waiting one cycle but purely to make dating easier if you manage it first time. We're going to start as soon as we can, we were ready before and we're ready now so we're happy to start trying again. I'm a bit worried about how long it could take for my insides to get back to normal, but I'm hoping the fact that this was a relatively early mc will mean it won't take too long....

Baileybubs I know what you mean. I'd come off the pill after 9 years and my body was still sorting itself out when I got pregnant, so I totally understand waiting til it feels like your body is more stable. We just don't feel like we can wait those extra few months...patience is not something that has come easily during this whole process! At least it doesn't look like having an mc affects future chances

xx

 

[Pebbles11]

Thanks for your replies. I totally see where you're coming from Bailey, you and your body need to be ready. 2 or 3 months really isn't that long at all, it will fly by. I totally know what you mean about being "the woman who miscarried". The hospital were so positive about our healthy embryo at 7 weeks that we told everyone & now feel like I have a massive neon sign on my head saying "Failed, couldn't even manage 7 weeks".
As you say Cherry we were ready before & even more ready now. I am really worried about a 2nd mc but we won't know unless we try again. My actual miscarriage was fairly 'good' (that is the wrong word but you know what I mean) and the bleeding has really tailed off today so I hope we can start trying soon. Sounds like yours is similar, which is great.I have no idea where my cycles will be or when I ovulate though... All i know is I simply have to be visibly pregnant by my original due date at Halloween! Psychologically this is probably not healthy however I'm past caring! X
Ps/ does your miscarriage coud as cycle day 1 or do you pick up your pre- miscarriage cycles?

 

[baileybubs]

It makes it worse being surrounded by pregnant women, I feel like the one that is a failure! Even though 2 of my pregnant friends miscarried last year and are doing fine now, my brain seems to ignore that info and just says "you are the one right now who couldn't keep your baby!". It's weird how logic means nothing at the moment!

And i was wondering that too about cycle day. If its the first day of mc then I'm on cycle day 18 already, I'm trying not to count as I know I'll be upset again by day 28 when theres no sign of AF but I just want to get back to normal so I can have 2 normal months and ttc again. My due date was end of sept and I dont know how I'll cope if I'm not pregnant again!

Have either have you had friends and family thinking you can "get more prepared" this time? A lot of people around me seem to think that I can save more money and stuff but I just dont care about that, I want a family!

 

[Pebbles11]

Yup! My mum has been great but she did say "ooh well at least you can pay a bit more of your credit card off"!
I have lots of preg friends at the moment but there is one who was due the day before me. She is a lovely girl but I just know I won't be able to see her as that should have been me. I feel extra bad because they tried for over a year and we caught first month but I'm still so jealous of her now.
I'm going to count the day of my mc as cd1 and see how it goes I think.

 

[baileybubs]

Yeah my mum said a similar thing, I'd seen a job I really wanted, was my dream job but as I'd been pregnant I couldn't go for it. After the mc she said "at least you can apply for that job now" she meant well coz I know she was devastated too by the loss but I don't think she knew what else to say bless her. And ironically I did appy for the job and didn't even get an interview grrrrr!

And yeah from what other posts I've seen I'm sure day one of the mc is counted as cycle day one. Let's all keep our fingers and toes crossed for the next few months xxxxx

 

[cherrytomato]

I feel surrounded by pregnant people and babies too...some friends of ours had their first a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to telling another friend of mind who is due in August that I'd only be a few months behind her We don't live close to them though, so I guess the one good thing is that I don't have to see her all the time. My best friend's (who is training to become a midwife) sister mc'd over Xmas, and we had this awful coversation where she was telling me how common it was. She didn't even know we were trying, but it definitely made me more pessimistic when we found out I'd got pregnant...I started every sentence with 'if it sticks...' Sod's law I was just starting to embrace the idea when it all went wrong!

My mother in law (who is lovely) miscarried her first at around the same time, but they didn't know she was pregnant at the time so I don't think it's quite the same. She keeps telling me that they look back on it as her body preparing itself; she got pregnant with her two kids in quick succession not long afterwards.

I had a similar situation with jobs as well bailey! We'd held off trying for a baby until I was definitely covered by my job's maternity policy - and then two amazing jobs came up that I would have killed for! It was a lot easier to pass them up when there was a baby on the way though.

I have no idea when to count from, so I'll take the lead from you guys! I guess that means I'm CD 9 or 10. I meant to start temping again this morning, but it was my first day back at work after having last week off with the mc and I slept so badly it wasn't worth it! Also got back to find a 'return to work' form on my desk which requires me to state the nature of my ailment. AND I have to get a sick note from the doc because they count weekends and bank holidays, which means I was technically off sick 8 days when in fact I only missed 4... Ah well, shouldn't sweat the small stuff. I'll focus my energy on more important things, like making a nice healthy baby Fingers crossed for us all xxx

 

[baileybubs]

He cherry,

It's odd the similarities, my mother in law is the same, she miscarried her first then went on to have her three boys- a fact that she hadn't told any of her boys until this happened to me. She isnt the most openly emotional person but she actually confided in me that sometimes she wonders if that first loss would have been her only little girl, but she loves her boys and she wouldnt change a thing, which made me feel a little better in a way, and made me understand her a bit better too.

She is still encouraging me to go back in the pill right now though which is annoying, but my oh is her little baby, he's the youngest by 5 years and as we aren't married yet I think she now thinks we can save to get married etc before we try again. In a way I agree with her but I just don't think I can do that! I have no patience! I think I'll find it hard enough jut waiting for 2/3 AF's to be honest but I need that break to get myself in the right place again.

 

[cherrytomato]

My mother in law is the most emotional person on the planet! But she's held it together really well...she only gets emotional when the people concerned can't see it.

OH and I have been broody forever...we weren't really in a position to have kids until we started trying at the end of last year - we really needed to be covered by my job's maternity pay etc (which meant I had to have been in the job at least a year by the time I was 13 weeks pregnant..or something...). We got married in August and everyone's been waiting for an announcement since then. It awful, we visited some friends a few weeks ago and were trying to hide it by OH switching wine glasses with me when they weren't looking (he was not in a good way the next morning). Their first comment was 'so you're not pregnant yet then..' At the time it was fine, because I was pregnant and trying to hide it. We've got a birthday party in a couple of weeks and I know people will start with the comments, and the watch-tapping, and the 'we thought you'd be well on your way by now...'. I think it'll break me. People just don't think about mc. Getting pregnant seems so easy until you actually try. I'm hoping people might stop and think for two seconds - if we were so keen to have a baby, and I'm clearly not pregnant, perhaps things aren't so straightforward and maybe they shouldn't bring it up.....

 

[baileybubs]

I don't get any maternity pay from my company anyway, just statutory regardless of how long I've been there so for us in that respect it didn't matter. However, this job was supposed to just be a stop gap after finishing my Masters degree, so now I'm on a massive job hunt, I want something better before I get pregnant again. It's so depressing in this job market at the moment though!! I still would like to be pregnant by Xmas regardless though, I'll let my oh worry about bringing home the bacon for a while lol xxxx

 

[cherrytomato]

It's so stressful isn't it? We'd struggle to be able to have a baby without the maternity pay, but it's not a job I really enjoy - I was toying with doing a masters part time until we kicked off the ttc-ing! When I got pregnant I was counting down the weeks until I could go on maternity leave...went into my calendar at work today and deleted all those weekly markers. That'll teach me. Nothing in the calendar until we're in the 'safe' zone next time...whenever that is...

Hope you find a new job soon, what kind of thing do you want to do? Good plan to let oh take the strain for a while, you'll be building a baby - that takes effort!
xx

 

[Pebbles11]

The job thing is the biggest pisser isn't it.... I had my year perfectly planned. I kind of hate the job even though it's a good job, but I am sticking with it for the mat leave as its quite a good policy. I just hope I can stick it out a bit longer. I need to delete my calendar markers too, how depressing.
Cherry - the EPU nurse gav me a two week sick note! I didn't even ask, apparently you are entitled to it. Could you ask for one from there? I'm off all week this week which is lovely. I thought I was fine but randomly burst in to tears in morrisons today so perhaps not!
I had no bleeding yesterday and felt normal not checking my knickers constantly but today got a bit more bleeding. I suppose it's only been a week but I want it over!!!
Also going to do a preg test in the morning - never thought I would be desperate to see a bfn!!!

 

[cherrytomato]

Does a bfn mean things are back to normal...? Hadn't even thought to do one...

I kind of had to get back to work because I was holding up a project. And I'm physically better and thought that being at home I'd be prone to serious levels of moping and making myself upset... I've actually got a doc appointment tomorrow, had a few odd things happen while I was in A&E and wanted to check they weren't signs of Other Annoying Stuff to get in the way of TTC, so hopefully she can give me a note then.

Bless you bursting into tears, hope you're feeling a bit better now! My boss called me to check I was ok and generally say nice things and I had to change the subject so I didn't start blubbing. Really glad my other boss is out of the office this week - she'd undoubtedly want to hug me and I would fall apart (I haven't told everyone at work - just those two). Annoyingly, having told them I mc'd, they now know we're ttc and I'm worried they'll now change my job in some way because they're expecting me to disappear off on mat leave for a year at some point... Listen to me...don't like the job but don't want them to change it! Never satisfied! Give me a bub and I'll never complain about anything again ever, I promise...

 

[baileybubs]

Oh the bursting into tears randomly thing is horrible isnt it?! I keep thinking "stop crying" and it's as if my body just can't, my eyes steam with tears! Hope you are feeling better now Pebbles xx

And cherry I got a 2 week sick note from EPU too, shouldn't be a problem getting one from your doc tomorrow.

I'm getting confused with what I want now, some of my other friends have asked if I'm going to ttc straight away, and when I mention money and new job they have said that conditions will never be perfect, have a baby when you and your oh want one. There are arguments for why I should wait and why I shouldn't and I feel baffled!! I was originally going to find a new job after my maternity anyway so now I don't know if it's worth getting a new job then trying again, or doing what I had planned to do with the pregnancy that just ended. Either way I will only get statutory maternity pay.....I just want my baby! Maybe I could just keep playing the lottery and hope that I win then I don't have to worry about whether I should wait or not lol xxxxx

 

[Pebbles11]

Well, done a preg test and quelle surprise it's still showing positive.... Boo hoo! Now it's put me in a bad mood for the day. Its too early to do one, I am being silly. But yes when its negative you are back to 'normal'. I hope to get pg again before next AF. Going to docs today to ask them if they'll test my hormones should I bleed in the next pregnancy. It'll probably be a no but at least then we know so we could go private. Also going to get some anti biotics for a possible uti, just want to get my niggles cleared up before next pg.
I am the same with the hugging etc ... When anyone is lovely to me about it I almost cry.

 

[baileybubs]

Oh sorry Pebbles, I daren't take a hpt as I think I'd find if too emotional. You are braver than me to try!! It feels like we are waiting aroun forever doesn't it?! The nurse at EPU at my follow up scan said "it's only been a week, a weeks really not a long time at all" it is when you are going through this!! This has been the longest 3 weeks of my life!!! Just 3 weeks ago I had just had my scan and been told the terrible news but to me that seems like it was months ago!!

Hurry up body and get back to normal! (I am so impatient lol)

I find it sad though that NHS won't do things like hormone tests until you have had 3 miscarriages, think of the heartache and pain they could save women going through xxxx