Post-mc follow-up scans..?

[cherrytomato]

It's rubbish that they can't do anything sooner. I told my sister I was off to the doc this afternoon and she assumed it was to look into why the mc happened - she was staggered that it would have to happen twice more before they'd do anything.

Someone came into the office today showing pictures of their new baby...I dashed out to get a cup of tea. Luckily it wasn't someone I knew so people didn't really notice. Just upset me for the afternoon. And when I rang to confirm my doc appointment this afternoon, they told me it would be with a different doctor, so now I'll have to actually say it all out loud again. Actually saying the words sets me off every time

On the job thing Pebbles, even if you get pg really quickly you'll probably have at least 6 months of work before mat leave - though it's a lot easier to spend that time in a rubbish job if the end is in sight! When we got married people I worked with kept saying how they'd enjoyed 4, 5, 6 years of marriage before they had kids...'time for themselves'...made me feel bad that we wanted kids straight away, like we were wasting something. But really it's just different things for different people. People bring up kids with next to nothing, so as long as you're in a position to feed, clothe and love the baby, that's the main things checked off.

 

[baileybubs]

Oh lord, my life is just one complication after another!! Been to work today and seen as I am no longer pregnant I am being moved to another job.......it's just one thing after another isn't it?! Its only temporary for 4 months but brings about different questions now about whether I can ttc!! Life likes to just kick you when you are down doesn't it?! I am trying to find a reason for this and get my head around it, it's a good opportunity, increase my experience with complex needs and medical issues.....but it's a more stressful position with no extra pay!!! I actually found myself shouting out at the universe/God/fate "why??what else do you want to do to me?? Have I not suffered enough??!"

 

[cherrytomato]

Wow...can they do that..? A bit tactless if nothing else...

If you got pregnant before the 4 months was up would they have to swap you back out? I guess if it's a good opportunity and could be useful experience for the future that's a good thing, and even if it's no extra pay now, might it lead to a better job in the future? Is the ttc question because you can't do this new job if you get pregnant? Can you just keep trying anyway, or is there something about the job that makes it a bad idea to ttc..?

On a completely separate note, a small rant...:

I had my doc appointment yesterday, with a doc I hadn't seen before. I just about managed to cover the mc without breaking down, so getting somewhere there, but the doc repeated something that I am getting thoroughly sick of hearing. 'It's very common, 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage..'. Uh huh. Thanks. I understand they're trying to be helpful. But I was one of the 25%, not the wonderful 75%. 100% of my pregnancies have ended in mc. I don't care what the hugely generalised statistics are, I care what happened to me. 100% of people die, that fact doesn't make it easier when someone you love passes away. I just wish they'd try and put themselves in our shoes rather than trotting out their standard Response to Miscarriage.

Rant over...

xx

 

[baileybubs]

Well they told me that they are moving me and not a colleaugue because she is pregnant.....I was upset because they don't seem to have considered the fact that I might be trying again soon. The job I'm moving to is more physical than the one I'm in and more stressful, although there have been whispers now about being given a payrise and it will give me more experience. I think I was just mad at first that they told me that I'm going coz my colleaugue is pregnant, it was just a tad insensitive!!!

And i hate those statistics and key phrases too! How can it make us feel better that it's common? Car crashes are common too but you wouldn't say that to someone who's been a car crash would you?! And aren't I the lucky one who is one of the 25% who gets to experience this horrible event?! I keep saying that to my oh, why do people think that it helps us to know that miscarriage is common? My favourite phrase is "at least you know you can get pregnant" wow what a comfort that is, to know that I can conceive a baby but appear to have trouble carrying it to full term! I know people are trying to help but they seem to forget that we are grieving, it's not a medical condition or illness, we lost a child!!

Ok, now my rant over too, feel better already lol. Hope you are both ok today xxx

 

[cherrytomato]

I have just had the most surreal conversation with a GP...

I completely forgot to ask for a fit note when I had my appointment the other day, so had to call and ask for a phone consultation to ask the GP for the note. I got a call this afternoon from the GP doing the phone consultations today - she was the chirpiest person I've ever encountered. Which would have been nice in other circumstances, but when it's 'How can I help? Ooooo you've had a miscarriage!! Poor you! How awful, you must be so sad! Do you have other children? Ohh that must make it even worse! And not knowing why...'

And then at the end she signed off with 'Better luck next time!'

Utterly, utterly weird....

 

[baileybubs]

Better luck next time?! Oh dear, it makes you wonder what goes on in people's minds when they speak doesn't it (or perhaps what doesn't go on as they don't seem to think!!)

I still keep getting the "how are you feeling?" sympathetic pitying look off people, but I think I prefer that to someone being chirpy about it!

 

[cherrytomato]

Bizarre isn't it..?

I'm not getting pitying looks because we haven't really told that many people. My in-laws, my Dad and step-mum, my sister. And my boss(es). Lots of people asked how I was after I'd been 'off sick' a week, and I had to make up nonsense about having a bug. More news of another girl having given birth this morning was buzzing round the office today as well.

We've got a wedding this weekend and I'm more worried about people asking why we haven't got babied up yet. And the fact that I'll probably have a drink for the first time in months, get sloshed, emotional, and start bawling my eyes out.

Apart from that I'm looking forward to it.....

 

[baileybubs]

I am at a wedding too and afraid of exactly the same thing! I've told me oh he'll have to watch me closely!!

 

[cherrytomato]

really?? how weird would it be if we were at the same wedding...

 

[baileybubs]

Lol, that would be very odd! Mines in Scotland, just setting off now coz we staying in a hotel tonight before the wedding tomorrow. Just seen my SIL who's just announced she's 8 weeks pg, felt really awkward I felt quite bad coz I could tell she felt awkward too and nobody mentioned anything about her being pg coz I was there which is unfair to her xx

 

[baileybubs]

Well I have spent time with the pregnant SIL, was a bit awkward, and her and my other SIL (who has 4 children) were chatting about her having a baby (joy!). But now I am feeling bad because I realised I didn't actually congratulate her and BIL on being pregnant!! Eurgh this whole situation just sucks xxx

Just a quick update, I finally got the courage to congratulate SIL and she asked how I was feeling, she was really lovely and so was BIL and they asked of we were trying again so I told them we are, now I'm thinking how it will be nice that our babies will be a similar age coz I'm being positive and thinking everything will go brilliantly with our next pg, and fingers crossed I'll be pg again very soon xxxx

 

[cherrytomato]

Just a quick update, I finally got the courage to congratulate SIL and she asked how I was feeling, she was really lovely and so was BIL and they asked of we were trying again so I told them we are, now I'm thinking how it will be nice that our babies will be a similar age coz I'm being positive and thinking everything will go brilliantly with our next pg, and fingers crossed I'll be pg again very soon xxxx

Aww well done for being so positive about things, I've been trying to think that way too. My best friend is qualifying as a midwife this summer and wants to get pregnant as soon as possible, which would *hopefully* mean there'd be less than a year between our babies. And a couple of close friends will have had babies before us so it'll be nice to have people who can help with advice, and there won't be much of an age gap...

Did the wedding go ok? There were so many babies and pregnant people at ours that it was hard to put it to the back of my mind. I got a bit sad at one point, but oh managed to rescue the situation. I'm being rubbish, he's always having to look after me and I'm being utterly useless at being there for him.

I'm off to the EPU tomorrow for my follow-up scan. I really hope they just say it's all done, go away and try again. My temp had plummeted this morning - I'm seeing that as a sign that my hormone levels are back down, but it could be that the heating hadn't come on and oh had stolen the covers...

 

[baileybubs]

Hi cherry,

I was sure I replied to your last message this morning but it hasn't appeared, strange! You'll probably get 2 replies from me now lol.

I was at EPAU this morning as well myself! Had a scan and it turns out I do have retained tissue and my cervix has closed so they have given me misoprostol again to open it and hopefully all will clear out without me having to have a d & c.

How did your scan go?

And the wedding went ok, the only pg woman was my SIL and I had a blast with my other SIL's kids, me and my oh we're like the pied piper with them lol. It made me sad a bit that the kids love us and love playing with us and we lost our own LO, but I just kept thinking how these gorgeous twins (two sets of twins!) will be older cousins to our future kids and they'll be the best of friends! Besides my wobble over not congratulating SIL and BIL I think I did really well!!

Just hope I don't have to wait to long now until I can ttc. I have decided that I don't want to waste time, I'll permanently be thinking about babies and pregnancy if I don't. I dont want to replace this baby but want to be a mum xxxx

 

[Pebbles11]

You two both sound so much more positive!!! I am too, was back at work today which I was dreading but it was fine. Not many people at work know so just said I had tonsillitis. Hubby took me to a health spa for a night on Sunday, it was lovely. I did quite a lot of reflecting about the situation and feel much less upset now.
Also I am very excited today cos I feel like I'm not too far off ovulation - slight cramps and increased discharge ( sorry if you're grossed out!) so we are back with the baby dancing in the hope of a January snowflake!

 

[baileybubs]

Aww that's great pebbles! Glad you are feeling better! I can't wait to ttc again too, although having to wait until after AF now, I'm concerned about taking misoprostol again. Fingers crossed though AF will happen soon and I might get a February star lol xxx

 

[baileybubs]

Hey ladies,

How are we all doing?

Hows the ttc pebbles? Have you and oh been dtd? I'm still waiting on O and first AF but I did get a bfp today yay!! So I think my hcg levels must be either zero or close to it!!

Cherry - hows everything going? hope you are ok and everything went ok at EPAU xxxxx

 

[Pebbles11]

Hi, yes we have been Dtd but not too much really, it's kind of hard to get in the mood to be honest. Done it three times since the mc, he is away tonight but going to try unday evening. If my cycles were as they were back in january before I got pregnant then it would be AF time right about now but there is no sign of it. My cycle is probably all out of sync now. Had my second acupuncture session today, it is very weird - I had a needle in my forehead!!!!

I am thinking about temping to see if I can track my cycles.... Never done it before, either of you got any tips?

 

[Pebbles11]

"Sunday" evening, oops!

 

[baileybubs]

I've never really tracked my cycles either. I bought some opk's the other day so I can start checking but to be honest I think I'm going to wait and see how we go without monitoring it too closely. I don't think I'd know where to start with temping!

I was supposed to be waiting until after first AF to try seen as I had misoprostol to induce my mc but me and oh got carried away yesterday oopps! I'm just hoping that it's all ok if we do get pg again before AF, worried that misoprostol can have a bad effect. Noone has really told me that its unsafe, just to wait a month but I've got myself worked up now!!

 

[ILuvBabies200]

I was set to miscarry on my own but then I started hemorrhaging and ended up with an emergency D&C. They never did any other scans but I finally had a beta done on the 18th and it was zero. So it's officially over....