Potential Dad needing assistance

[damienphd]

I need some help.. my ex is 5 monthes pregnant.. Could be mine.. but before I write it off i wanted some help

We last had sex april 16th.. her due date is jan 17th.. based on most pregnancy calendars.. the conception date was april 26th.. she had sex with this other guy after we broke up on april 20th.. (i confirmed with her) so between april 21st and april 30th.. she had sex with this other guy

i want to write it off and say it aint mine.. noone wanna be stuck with a babymother like that.. i know i wont have my answer til the due date.. but some support would help

 

[Jackyx]

It sounds likely that your numbers could be right, also it would help if you knew her cycles. but the only way to know for sure is to wait I'm afraid cause there ain't much in it and due dates can be out by a few weeks x

 

[damienphd]

according to one of the calendars i was looking at her period was probably between april 19-25th... from what i recall she was not on her period on the day we broke up, according to her her period did come.. so in between april 21st-april 30th.. she received her period and had sex with the other guy

i hear that women have 2 ovaries (a left one and a right one?) and she still may have gotten pregnant during her period? (is it true a woman can still be fertile during her period?)

 

[damienphd]

if anyone could offer further insight..

 

[damienphd]

bump

 

[cranberry987]

Ive not worked it out myself but you know that conception is actually at 2w pregnant? I'd talk to her about it. Surely she wants to name the right father?

 

[hippylittlej]

Unless you do a paternity test you are never going to know for sure. Dates can be wrong, woman ovulate at different times and fertile times vary constantly.
My due date is 4 days later than on a calendar it should be, my friends is earlier than she expected it to be. It is too close to call on dates and you will never know for sure. I think you are just going to have to roll with this and ask for a paternity test to confirm. Sorry this is not what you want to hear.

 

[damienphd]

Ive not worked it out myself but you know that conception is actually at 2w pregnant? I'd talk to her about it. Surely she wants to name the right father?

That's exactly what i'm trying to figure out.. what the calendars all mean etc.. if you get the time, could you maybe take a look at a calendar for me and see what you thing? of course ill never know 100% until paternity..

 

[damienphd]

Unless you do a paternity test you are never going to know for sure. Dates can be wrong, woman ovulate at different times and fertile times vary constantly.
My due date is 4 days later than on a calendar it should be, my friends is earlier than she expected it to be. It is too close to call on dates and you will never know for sure. I think you are just going to have to roll with this and ask for a paternity test to confirm. Sorry this is not what you want to hear.

No problem thank-you for taking the time to help.. I feel overwhelmed and lost..

 

[cranberry987]

So yeah conception date according to that due date is April 26th. But scans can be wrong. Assuming she has a 28 day cycle and ovulates day 14 she had her period start April 12th. Sperm can hang around for 7 days or so if they have perfect environment (ie sex from April 19th). But. Scans are often wrong. Three days is too close to say for sure just from dates.

I'd say the margin of error is too close to say for certain. Get a paternity test tbh as it could go either way.

 

[cranberry987]

Also the period April 21-30 she had may have been a bleed when the embryo implanted or an ovulation bleed, both of which are v common. We do have two ovaries but they tend to alternate each cycle and release one each. If it's a true period bleed then even if you do release an egg early it's v unlikely that it'll implant as the lining will have been shed

The exact date of her last period doesn't rly matter tho. They measure the baby on scans and adjust the date as women ovulate late/early in their cycle

Hope this explains things a bit

 

[damienphd]

From what I remember, i dont recall her starting a period on april 12th.. we had a pregnancy scare a little after her bday (april 2nd).. could you explain this part to me

The exact date of her last period doesn't rly matter tho. They measure the baby on scans and adjust the date as women ovulate late/early in their cycle..

In relation to my situation Im not quite understanding it.. thanks once again for you help!

 

[cranberry987]

so if she thought she was late by april 2nd then she must have long cycles, or longer than 28 days at least.

with the period date, what i mean is its ovulation/conception date which is important. some women ovulate on day 10 of their cycle, some on day 90 if they have ridiculously long cycles. you have to go by the dates given by the scan measurements to get a more accurate due date.

i think youre getting too hung up on dates tho. forget about the period date, doesnt rly mean anything. its the conception date which is the one to focus on, and thats just too close to say which of you it is.

 

[damienphd]

& based on how close it is I just really cant assume what the conception date is.. despite what the calendars say? thank-you once again.. i guess these conversations help me accept reality sooner than later

 

[hippylittlej]

It is tough but she won't know for sure either who the father is and may also want a paternity test to confirm. It sucks that you don't know for sure but unfortunately there is nothing you can do now and too much speculating is going to drive you totally nuts.

 

[damienphd]

It is tough but she won't know for sure either who the father is and may also want a paternity test to confirm. It sucks that you don't know for sure but unfortunately there is nothing you can do now and too much speculating is going to drive you totally nuts.

it already is driving me crazy.. ive lost all will to do anything, just trying to remotivate myself

 

[damienphd]

thanks for everyones help

 

[josephine3]

It is very unlikely to become pregnant if she was having her period at the time of sex with one of you..
good luck x