pre-IVF anxiety... Help!!

[Megan0625]

Oh Megan I'm so sorry to hear that. Bleeding is very common, especially after ivf and especially if you are pregnant with twins. I know you know it, but maybe hearing it again will help a little bit. With my daughter I bled and was sure I lost the pregnancy, it was fresh blood too. But she's here
I hope your scan shows all is good and that maybe you can even do it earlier this week.

Thank you very much for the reassurance It makes me feel a lot better. I'm still very lightly spotting today, but it's definitely less than it was, and it was never a lot. It still makes me nervous, but I do know that chances are much higher that everything is fine. They can't get me in any sooner than Friday, but they did just ask that I relax and basically have modified bedrest until I come in for my ultrasound. They said they are still cautiously optimistic and to just call them back if I see fresh blood. Luckily my boss is fine with me working from home this week so I'm going to try to take it easy until my scan.

 

[Nima]

Thinking of you. I hope the spotting goes away and the scan on Friday is perfectly normal.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I hope the spotting stops soon and your scan goes well

 

[Megan0625]

Thinking of you. I hope the spotting goes away and the scan on Friday is perfectly normal.

Thank you! The spotting has stopped, it really only lasted for 2 days. Just impatiently waiting on my scan!

 

[WinterBub]

Good luck for your scan!

 

[Megan0625]

Thank you everybody! My scan went great! I am 5 weeks 6 days today but am actually measuring ahead at 6 weeks 1 day. I am pregnant with one perfect little baby . We couldn't HEAR the heartbeat yet, but we did see it, so I am so happy and relieved. Next scan is June 28 and we should be able to hear the heartbeat then

 

[Bevziibubble]

@Megan0625 I'm so glad your scan went well!

 

[Nima]

Great news! What a relief! Very happy for you. A singleton is also safer, so that's good too.

 

[elencor]

Such great news, congratulations!

 

[WinterBub]

Yaaaaay! That's awesome looking forward to hearing about your next scan.

 

[Megan0625]

Thank you all! I'm excited and nervous about my next scan too. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat.

 

[elencor]

Megan I'm so happy for you! I hope everything continues to go well.

Ladies I'd like your help with one thing, I'd love your opinion on something that is really stressing me out. I'm planning to do IVF in August, I still haven't told anyone at work but I will soon. As for the workplace, summer is the most stressful time ever, but I had decided to do it in August anyway because it's the sooner it could be, I had to wait to renew my contract I couldn't afford to jeopardize my job. Anyway I'm receiving really intense pressure to be the one to assume a lot of responsibility of everything that needs to be done in July/August, since I'm the only one without vacation days (because of my new contract I had to spend the vacations in June) and it is definitely impossible for me to do both things, the IVF and all the work stuff, since it involves spending a lot of nights out etc.
Would you consider moving further your IVF date just to "to the right thing at work" Or this is too important and I should just disappoint everyone and say that I'm gonna be half the time out in August because of the IVF??

@Nima good luck with your July transfer dear

 

[Nima]

@elencor thank you dear

I really don't know what I would do if I were you. It's so tough to decide which things are important enough to move ivf for and which aren't.
Mostly I think it depends on how you'll feel if you postpone and 'disappoint' people at work, how will it affect you feeling there generally? Your relationships with your colleagues? Your self esteem? These can be long term effects that may also be relevant in a future pregnancy or further ivf rounds, if they are needed (of course I hope they won't be!)
On the other hand postponing can also be very stressful and make the wait even longer, which is already hard.

 

[WinterBub]

Hi Elencor!

It is hard to say without knowing what your job is, what your career/progression has been like... But how long would you be postponing for? At the end of the day, moving from August to September really isnt going to make a difference, so I would probably be willing to do that. I would probably not be happy to move it more than a month or two just for work stuff. If you were to postpone, how long would that be for?

You also don't have to tell anyone right now that the reason you're saying no is because of IVF. You can always say "I'm likely to be having surgery in August", and just leave it at that.y can discuss ivf later when it isn't tied up with work planning.

Just my thoughts... Hope that helps!

 

[Megan0625]

Megan I'm so happy for you! I hope everything continues to go well.

Ladies I'd like your help with one thing, I'd love your opinion on something that is really stressing me out. I'm planning to do IVF in August, I still haven't told anyone at work but I will soon. As for the workplace, summer is the most stressful time ever, but I had decided to do it in August anyway because it's the sooner it could be, I had to wait to renew my contract I couldn't afford to jeopardize my job. Anyway I'm receiving really intense pressure to be the one to assume a lot of responsibility of everything that needs to be done in July/August, since I'm the only one without vacation days (because of my new contract I had to spend the vacations in June) and it is definitely impossible for me to do both things, the IVF and all the work stuff, since it involves spending a lot of nights out etc.
Would you consider moving further your IVF date just to "to the right thing at work" Or this is too important and I should just disappoint everyone and say that I'm gonna be half the time out in August because of the IVF??

@Nima good luck with your July transfer dear

Thank you! And I totally understand your dilemma. I agree with the other ladies that have responded. I think it all depends on how you would feel about each decision. With my job, I always have important projects that would come up, one actually was supposed to be done this month and after finding out I was pregnant, I told my boss and he told me not to worry about the project (it would involve working with chemicals that I should not work with while pregnant). I was so worried about disappointing my boss but at the end of the day, this was far more important and he ended up being incredibly understanding. If you only have to put off IVF for maybe a month and it would make you less stressed to be able to take care of your work in July/August, then maybe that would be best for you, because ultimately, you want to do what would make you feel best. You want as little stress as possible when you are going through IVF.

Also, you absolutely don't need to tell anybody why you need time out (if you decide not to postpone IVF). I just told my boss I had some medical procedures I needed taken care of during that time, and I tried to work as many days as possible (I would come in after doctors appointments, and only missed the day of retrieval and the day after and the day after embryo transfer). Luckily there was a 3-day weekend in there too, so I was able to have an extra day that didn't require me to call in. Ultimately, I think it depends on what would make you feel best. I hate disappointing people at work, but I also had been at this for over 3 years and didn't want to wait any longer, especially after delays due to cysts, etc.

Sorry if that's not more helpful! Let us know what you decide! Again, I totally understand your dilemma, it's difficult when you feel like you have people relying you at work and you don't want to disappoint them.

 

[elencor]

Thank you for your replies to be honest I actually didn't do it in June or July because of the job, I didn't want to "let down" My coworkers or boss just at the start of my new position, I work in a hospital and with people going on holidays we have to work double. But it's not fair to postpone it even more, my life and future possibilities of having children are more important. Nevertheless we are thinking of postponing it to September since the dates fit so I could just go on vacation days after the transfer, just go relax on a beach while spending the terrible days from the transfer to the beta

 

[WinterBub]

That sounds like the perfect plan, elencor. One extra month isn't that big of a deal, especially if you can relax after the transfer. I'd just say to draw your line in the sand there, and don't let any outside forces delay any longer

 

[Megan0625]

Thank you for your replies to be honest I actually didn't do it in June or July because of the job, I didn't want to "let down" My coworkers or boss just at the start of my new position, I work in a hospital and with people going on holidays we have to work double. But it's not fair to postpone it even more, my life and future possibilities of having children are more important. Nevertheless we are thinking of postponing it to September since the dates fit so I could just go on vacation days after the transfer, just go relax on a beach while spending the terrible days from the transfer to the beta

Sounds like a great plan! Having a few days off to relax after the transfer is so nice. I was thankful because my transfer was on the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend, so I took Friday off and had 5 days off total to relax! I think that made a huge difference compared to my first transfer where I had to go back to work almost immediately after.

 

[elencor]

@Megan0625 thank you! Yes it sounds a lot less stressful to just have a few days to relax
And @WinterBub yes I'll definitely draw my line there. It just seems too far away now, but September will be here very soon... I'll be a nervous wreck when the time comes even now I'm stressing over the one vs two embryo transfer, I'm nervous and can't seem to make any choice

 

[Megan0625]

@Megan0625 thank you! Yes it sounds a lot less stressful to just have a few days to relax
And @WinterBub yes I'll definitely draw my line there. It just seems too far away now, but September will be here very soon... I'll be a nervous wreck when the time comes even now I'm stressing over the one vs two embryo transfer, I'm nervous and can't seem to make any choice

September will absolutely be here before you know it! Try not to worry about the 1 vs 2 embryo transfer You will make the right decision when the time comes. I think a 2-embryo transfer is a good idea if the doctor recommends it for your situation, but if they don't recommend it, 1 is just fine. A singleton pregnancy has fewer risks, plus there's always the chance of the embryo spontaneously splitting anyway. I'd say just go with your gut. After our long journey, I knew transferring 2 embryos was right for us, I needed to increase chances for success, even if that meant leaving us with only 1 frozen embryo. But I also know several people who have transferred one embryo and got pregnant on the first try. Try not to stress too much (easier said than done), I have faith that everything will work out