i'm so sorry I understand you're feeling like this is a huge setback, I'd be devastated too but I'm going to pray that the one embryo turns out to be an amazing one that turns into a beautiful baby. I know this isn't how you wanted this retrieval to go but remain hopeful, you still may be pregnant in just a few days!!
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pre-IVF anxiety... Help!!
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Nima
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Thank you for holding out hope elencor. I am trying my best to think that way, telling myself we only need one good embryo, no more.
I'm so sorry to hear that, Nima. 
id be devastated too, but but it's great news that you at least got one embryo out of the retrieval. How many were you left with after retrieval #1? I'll be hoping that that one embryo is "the one" and will become your beautiful second baby 
If you don't mind me asking- how old are you? I had three losses in 2021, and know that two (and probably all three) were because of my age/egg quality. As such i am assuming that we will lose a lot of whatever embryos we get when we do ivf. I have no doubt you'll have your baby, it's just a process of walking through these obstacles along the way
Hope you're feeling ok, and that your transfer will be a success on Monday.
id be devastated too, but but it's great news that you at least got one embryo out of the retrieval. How many were you left with after retrieval #1? I'll be hoping that that one embryo is "the one" and will become your beautiful second baby If you don't mind me asking- how old are you? I had three losses in 2021, and know that two (and probably all three) were because of my age/egg quality. As such i am assuming that we will lose a lot of whatever embryos we get when we do ivf. I have no doubt you'll have your baby, it's just a process of walking through these obstacles along the way
Hope you're feeling ok, and that your transfer will be a success on Monday.
Nima
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Thank you @WinterBub. We have 3 high grade blastocysts from cycle no 1, so that's reassuring and also confused, because I would assume I have ok egg quality if I made 3 top grade blastocysts, but this round definitely makes me question that.
I am 37 and also had 3 losses (2 chemicals and 1 mmc) so far.
I am 37 and also had 3 losses (2 chemicals and 1 mmc) so far.
3/4 high quality blastocysts is a decent place to be. Though, I know in your case I would've been expecting to have a similar number collected the second time around, so of course just getting one feels like a disappointment. wishing you lots of luck for the transfer. I'll be thinking of you and cheering you on. 
I had my LO at 33 without any issues. Then when we tried two years later, it was just loss after loss. As disappointing as your experiences this week have been: I'd rather get less embryos that are high quality than go through losses because they weren't viable to begin with. That is how my Oh and I ended up doing ivf in the first place. Sometimes there is a reason for these negative things that happen, though it is fine and normal to be upset and to mourn when things don't go to plan. I really hope that you will get a bfp this month from the high quality embryos you have.
PS. I also feel a little deceived by medicine/society: I really thought that I basically had until 40 to have children. Turns out that my fertility dropped off a cliff at 35. And same for some of my irl friends.
wishing you lots of luck for the transfer. I'll be thinking of you and cheering you on. I had my LO at 33 without any issues. Then when we tried two years later, it was just loss after loss. As disappointing as your experiences this week have been: I'd rather get less embryos that are high quality than go through losses because they weren't viable to begin with. That is how my Oh and I ended up doing ivf in the first place. Sometimes there is a reason for these negative things that happen, though it is fine and normal to be upset and to mourn when things don't go to plan. I really hope that you will get a bfp this month from the high quality embryos you have.
PS. I also feel a little deceived by medicine/society: I really thought that I basically had until 40 to have children. Turns out that my fertility dropped off a cliff at 35. And same for some of my irl friends.
Nima
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Yes exactly. I feel deceived too. And I'm a doctor so I can't even blame anybody...
I hope we can use this one embryo tomorrow and leave our frozen ones for later, I am not sure what we'll do if it's not transferable. Maybe do another round next month, maybe transfer 1 frozen and hope the other 2 ones are good enough. Trying not to think about it yet and stay position about this one embryo.
I hope we can use this one embryo tomorrow and leave our frozen ones for later, I am not sure what we'll do if it's not transferable. Maybe do another round next month, maybe transfer 1 frozen and hope the other 2 ones are good enough. Trying not to think about it yet and stay position about this one embryo.
Lol- you still get to blame society/medicine. 
It just seems like such a scam not to have been told the nuances of this whole topic. It is what it is, and we have all been working with what we thought was best at the time i would certainly offer different advice to younger women/any daughters than what I was told.
Wishing you lots of luck for the transfer! Let us know how everything goes. there's every reason to be positive about your transfer, and I hope that you'll be getting your bfp in a couple of weeks.
And elencor- I might have to push back ivf until September, so we may be doing a retrieval together in September after all my OH has a huge work thing on seemingly exactly the same week in August when a retrieval would happen. Sigh. I've just told him that I want September to happen no matter what if we do indeed push it back.
It just seems like such a scam not to have been told the nuances of this whole topic. It is what it is, and we have all been working with what we thought was best at the time i would certainly offer different advice to younger women/any daughters than what I was told. Wishing you lots of luck for the transfer! Let us know how everything goes.
there's every reason to be positive about your transfer, and I hope that you'll be getting your bfp in a couple of weeks. And elencor- I might have to push back ivf until September, so we may be doing a retrieval together in September after all
my OH has a huge work thing on seemingly exactly the same week in August when a retrieval would happen. Sigh. I've just told him that I want September to happen no matter what if we do indeed push it back.
I am so sorry, I totally understand the disappointment. I had 36 eggs retrieved and ended up with only 4 embryos and I was absolutely shocked that it could go down so much. It only takes 1 embryo so try to think positive! I have a friend who only ended up with one embryo and she has a totally healthy pregnancy and is due in just a few weeks. That one embryo you have may be "the one"I am so shocked. Only one egg fertilized
Trying to tell myself it only takes one good embryo, but I am pretty devastated.
My fingers are crossed for you!I meant to update, my last progesterone injection was officially on Friday of last week! I have not had to do injections the last few nights and it honestly felt weird lol. I was definitely nervous to be stopping the injections because they gave me peace of mind knowing our baby was receiving all the progesterone he or she needed, but I trust my doctors when they say the placenta has taken over progesterone production. Now, my poor butt/hip muscles can finally start healing lol . Only a week before my final appointment at my fertility clinic!
On another note, I'm nervous because I did find I have a cavity on one of my teeth and likely need to get a filling. I'm having it checked on Wednesday to make sure. I definitely don't want to let it go until the end of pregnancy because I think infection would be worse for my pregnancy than a filling, but I'm nervous about the effects of the numbing solutions on my baby. I just had a cleaning in late April/early May so the cavity must be pretty superficial. I have read that the lidocaine injections are perfectly safe and my dentist knows I'm pregnant, but I'm still super nervous. They did ask for a clearance letter from my doctor so I'm waiting on my fertility clinic to get that to me. Not only that, but I do have pretty severe dental anxiety and the thought of having a filing done without laughing gas makes me queasy
On another note, I'm nervous because I did find I have a cavity on one of my teeth and likely need to get a filling. I'm having it checked on Wednesday to make sure. I definitely don't want to let it go until the end of pregnancy because I think infection would be worse for my pregnancy than a filling, but I'm nervous about the effects of the numbing solutions on my baby. I just had a cleaning in late April/early May so the cavity must be pretty superficial. I have read that the lidocaine injections are perfectly safe and my dentist knows I'm pregnant, but I'm still super nervous. They did ask for a clearance letter from my doctor so I'm waiting on my fertility clinic to get that to me. Not only that, but I do have pretty severe dental anxiety and the thought of having a filing done without laughing gas makes me queasy
Congrats on graduating from your fertility clinic, Megan! That's a really exciting milestone. Now you're just a regular pregnant lady!! Do you have your regular OB all set up? If so, and especially if you already know the doctor well, I'd call the nurse line and ask about the lidocaine/dental work. I'm 99% sure that it is totally fine, but the nurses know how to deal with worried pregnant ladies, and will give you solid and honest advice that should reassure you. I'm sure the fertility clinic staff have the same knowledge- just suggesting you call your OB as I know that they deal with worries like this constantly!
I'm sure the fertility clinic staff have the same knowledge- just suggesting you call your OB as I know that they deal with worries like this constantly!
Nima
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Thank you all for your support here. I am staying positive and trying to talk this little embryo into staying
Megan I really understand you worrying about stopping progeny, it's such a difficult thing, to just trust our bodies, especially if we feel like they have let us down a few times...
Megan I really understand you worrying about stopping progeny, it's such a difficult thing, to just trust our bodies, especially if we feel like they have let us down a few times...
Thank you! I'm so excitedCongrats on graduating from your fertility clinic, Megan! That's a really exciting milestone. Now you're just a regular pregnant lady!! Do you have your regular OB all set up? If so, and especially if you already know the doctor well, I'd call the nurse line and ask about the lidocaine/dental work. I'm 99% sure that it is totally fine, but the nurses know how to deal with worried pregnant ladies, and will give you solid and honest advice that should reassure you.
I do have an OB set up, but I've actually never seen him before and my first appointment isn't until August 5. I had a doctor that I had been seeing for annual exams previously but I really didn't like her much and didn't feel like she would listen to my needs and I found an OB with excellent reviews that was recommended to me, but unfortunately I haven't met him yet. I'm sure I can still call the nursing line though! My fertility clinic did tell me the same information that Google said, that dental work is totally safe and to use anesthetics without epinephrine, so lidocaine. And if I need antibiotics for anything, to use cephalexin. But of course with everything I've been through, it still makes me nervous to potentially expose the little peanut to something harmful. I will ask to set up the dentist appointment after I have my next ultrasound though so I can make sure the little peanut is healthy .That sounds like really solid advice. At some point you have to do your due diligence, and then just go with it. There's so much to worry about with pregnancy/babies/children, and it is really easy to obsess about everything... Sounds like you got good advice, so go ahead and get it done and don't second guess anything
How are you feeling, Nima? When will you start testing?
I found something interesting: there's a cdc ivf calculator which was pretty interesting to play around with. Seems like statistically I have a slightly better than 50% chance of success with one round of ivf. And better with a second round.
Megan and Nima- can I ask what your egg retrieval experience was like? Mostly wondering how sick/sore/off you felt? And how different was that during each phase of the process? just emailed this morning and we are down to start in September. The timing in August won't work, but I'd really like to stick to September no matter what. I'm excited, but nervous. I also feel like the whole experience is on my shoulders as my OH would be fine with just calling it a day. I think it is one of those times where I wish I knew how it would go, and then I'd make a decision based on knowns instead of unknowns!
How are you feeling, Nima? When will you start testing?
I found something interesting: there's a cdc ivf calculator which was pretty interesting to play around with. Seems like statistically I have a slightly better than 50% chance of success with one round of ivf. And better with a second round.
Megan and Nima- can I ask what your egg retrieval experience was like? Mostly wondering how sick/sore/off you felt? And how different was that during each phase of the process? just emailed this morning and we are down to start in September. The timing in August won't work, but I'd really like to stick to September no matter what. I'm excited, but nervous. I also feel like the whole experience is on my shoulders as my OH would be fine with just calling it a day. I think it is one of those times where I wish I knew how it would go, and then I'd make a decision based on knowns instead of unknowns!
Nima
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@WinterBub I relate to feeling alone in the decision making. My partner is 100 percent supportive but I am the one deciding on practically everything in this process.
My experience with retrieval was different every time. The first time I was in pain for about 3 days, couldn't walk with my back straight for 2 of them and was really sick. This time (same number of follicles) it was much better, the day after retrieval I was sore but afterwards very minimal pain.
My experience with retrieval was different every time. The first time I was in pain for about 3 days, couldn't walk with my back straight for 2 of them and was really sick. This time (same number of follicles) it was much better, the day after retrieval I was sore but afterwards very minimal pain.
That's interesting... I guess it is different being the partner of the person going through the hard parts. And maybe they feel it is supportive not to pressure us... But I'd love for him to be super into it, as that would help me feel more confident about it all.
And really interesting that you felt different with each retrieval. I guess I will just have to see what happens. I don't think we'd consider more than one retrieval, so this is it for us.
One last question: my coordinator emailed me a timeline of what to expect, and it looks like they routinely do a hysteroscopy. It would be done to "prepare for the transfer" between the retrieval and transfer. Did either of you have that done? If it isn't totally necessary, I think I will decline that part. I know my issue is egg quality, not anything to do with my uterus, so not wanting to take on the sedation and any risk other than what is necessary...
And really interesting that you felt different with each retrieval. I guess I will just have to see what happens. I don't think we'd consider more than one retrieval, so this is it for us.
One last question: my coordinator emailed me a timeline of what to expect, and it looks like they routinely do a hysteroscopy. It would be done to "prepare for the transfer" between the retrieval and transfer. Did either of you have that done? If it isn't totally necessary, I think I will decline that part. I know my issue is egg quality, not anything to do with my uterus, so not wanting to take on the sedation and any risk other than what is necessary...
@WinterBub that calculator is so cool, thank you! It calculates a 48% chance of success for the first transfer, so that gives me hope.
I don't know about the hysteroscopy, but maybe it helps them improve pregnancy chances? Ask them about that.
I had a large intermenstrual bleeding a few days ago so I went to the obgyn yesterday and the doctor said I have a small follicle
if it's not gone by the end of August I won't be able to have IVF done 
Do you know how that goes and if it's ok to have a follicle as long as it's small or something? And in case there's a follicle there, how long do you have to wait before resuming the treatment?
I don't know about the hysteroscopy, but maybe it helps them improve pregnancy chances? Ask them about that.
I had a large intermenstrual bleeding a few days ago so I went to the obgyn yesterday and the doctor said I have a small follicle
if it's not gone by the end of August I won't be able to have IVF done Do you know how that goes and if it's ok to have a follicle as long as it's small or something? And in case there's a follicle there, how long do you have to wait before resuming the treatment?
Nima
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Do you mean polyp maybe? This can harm your chances but it easily removed with hysteroscopy.@WinterBub that calculator is so cool, thank you! It calculates a 48% chance of success for the first transfer, so that gives me hope.
I don't know about the hysteroscopy, but maybe it helps them improve pregnancy chances? Ask them about that.
I had a large intermenstrual bleeding a few days ago so I went to the obgyn yesterday and the doctor said I have a small follicle
Do you know how that goes and if it's ok to have a follicle as long as it's small or something? And in case there's a follicle there, how long do you have to wait before resuming the treatment?
@WinterBub I wouldn't do a hysteroscopy as a routine procedure, sounds like an exaggerated measure to me. They want to make sure there are no polyps or inflammation, but why would there be? I would also decide based on how many embryos you get. If you only have one, maybe it does make sense to do everything you can, given you won't do more retrievals. But if you have more, I wouldn't be so extra cautious. In the US doctors have a very active approach, which I think is not always good.
