Pregnancy after our preemies support thread!

[Tasha]

Happy 38 weeks Sandi

Happy 23 weeks Lottie

Thank you Nic, I will do that if I need to. I hate lying, but like you say if I have to I have to. Good luck for tomorrow.

I had the prem clinic today, and I told them how crap I feel the care is, she got my professor in and he basically said the care was adequate, but after over an hour of arguing with him, the fellow (who was running prem clinic today) from another hospital, worked out that baby is on the 5th centile, so all baby's on 10th or below should have a arterial scan (doppler), the earliest they do them there is 24 weeks, so mine is three weeks today. I am also going to part of some research in the fetal medicine clinic so that is fortnightly growth scans.

How is everyone?

 

[Tasha]

Oh and my cervix is 35mm

 

[nkbapbt]

Yes lying is always my last resort...but in this case, I think it's ok.

That was weird, I typed a reply to you Tasha...and it got deleted some how. Anyways, good cervix length! Sorry you had to argue, but sounds like it got results, that's important! I hope this continues to be the trend.

I am..I dunno. Sad. My hubby and I are having problems, well one problem the same bloody problem. Lying about porn watching. It's not the friggin porn that bugs me its the bold face lying and trying to make me feel bad about it some how. I stayed up after he went to bed, and had crampy BH and lower back pain. I woke up this morning and cried, I am not a crier. I love him and I get he isn't very comfortable talking about sex (as in I need it, which we can't have clearly..and haven't been able too for 6 months..and now likely 4 more..because of his mom teaching him it was shameful thing as a kid). I get he doesn't want to hurt me by admitting he did it, but how is lying and me knowing he is...causing me so much less stress and hurt.

Sorry ladies for that spew of personal info. Its just got me so down.

 

[Lianne1986]

hun xx

 

[Tasha]

Massive Nic, I am not really sure what to suggest, cos it sounds as if you have had many chats about it, and that you have made it clear it is the lying not the porn itself. Men.

 

[nkbapbt]

I don't know either. I am starting to feel like it's a trust issue, the first time I felt like "ok he is lying because it's embarrassing..he feels shameful". So I said like if it gets to the point where you feel it needs to happen lol, talk to me. I guess that is too hard for him to do, which sucks.

I can't stand lying. I have said so many times in our 13 years together....tell me things that you think/know will hurt me over lying about it. I have this weird lying sixth sense, and always know when he has done the porn thing..I know him inside and out. And he doesn't seem to get, I always know! I don't even have to snoop! MEN!

I just wanted to say the only time porn is an issue in our relationship is when I am pregnant...because I can't have sex basically. It doesn't really matter but my hubby isn't like watching it all the time or anything either.

 

[AP]

Yeah nic, but it upsets you. And he knows it. And then not only that, he lies. So there's two reasons why you're upset already.

I've been there Hun and it's the lies that are the worst, not the activity. He wouldn't dare now, but it's took a lot of work to get to this point.

 

[JJ_Buck]

JJ I see you on here...and just curious how you are doing honey?

Evening ladies, hope you're all ok. to everyone who needs one.

I'm ok thanks Nic. Have been feeling a bit down but think it's just the hormones, everything is fine. Have been suffering worse the last few days with the SPD, which isn't helping. Finally got the referral from the midwife through for physio but it said it'd be 8-10 wks to get an appt, not great! Am thinking of just getting a belt and seeing if it helps.

Happy 23 wks Lottie and 38 wks Sandi!

 

[nkbapbt]

Ladies...I am freaking out a little. I said before I had a rough nights sleep and was crampy and had lower back pains. Well I am having some really weird things...I am having some what painless contractions, they are less (right now but were more) than 4-5 an hour. But I am also having pain, dull, achy pains in my cervix/pelvic floor. My back is the biggest worry as it's tensing and cramping every 10-20 mins off and on. Its the middle of my lower back. The thing is I feel generally worn out and tired. Not to mention just really emotionally drained.

I called my OB but she hasn't called back yet. I have a high risk detailed ultrasound in the morning now (instead of the cervix length checking one) and an OB appointment.

Should I go in? I am scared I am overreacting to what is emotional discomfort causing physical. But I don't want to be wrong either. Fuck. <-- sorry. This is just been a very stressful day.

 

[Tasha]

I really hope things have settled Nic, and if not that you have gone to be checked out. I am thinking of you so very much.

JJ spd is awful, get a belt, it might help at leas a bit.

 

[AP]

Sorry girls, haven't been good a keeping up. Please don't think I'm beng ignorant!

Nic, I hope you got seen to, and if not, hope all goes ok today. Tinking of you.

Tasha, there's some improvement huh? I was gonna say find a research trial locally, cause you'll get some additional help there.... But you did!

JJ grab a belt. Hate to tell you this but short of the physio handing you crutches it's not worth it..... I tried the simple ones from boots first but no way were they any good. I got the nexcare one from mother care, pricey but if you are suffering now, you won't give a monkeys about the cost later!

Me? I'm hormonal, need ice cream. Lots of it. And lots of heartburn cures. I'm not moaning but the arse in my ribcage as I type this is rather sore..... And weird!

Was walking round ikea yesterday with some really sore lightening pains er....down there? I assume it's just nerves.

 

[JJ_Buck]

Belt is on my shopping list! Thanks for the heads up Sandi, not gonna suffer for 8 wks then have a useless appt that'd be beyond disappointing! Worrying about how bad it's gonna get if I can feel it so much already so will get one. We're off shopping later to look at double buggies and the next car seat up for Daniel so will look then.

Nic, hope you're ok. Thinking of you

Hope everyone else is good

 

[AP]

Oooh double buggy shopping!
I dreaded a double buggy but I'm not so worried now I made my choice, we got a phil and teds and tbh I'm looking forward to having a go!

 

[JJ_Buck]

Know exactly what you mean about dreading one, everytime I see one in town it fills me with fear! Really in 2 minds whether I want a side by side or a Phil & Teds type one, think we've just got to try them and see which we prefer. Am determined to have one before the baby arrives this time which we didn't before!

 

[AP]

There were two things that won me over with p&ts

*old grannies can't go poking at newborn, they will barely notice there's a second baby hiding....

*erm..... The back seat can be transformed into a baby bouncer if you get the adaptors

What can I say? I'm different

 

[you&me]

Hi everyone :wave: hope you're all okay?

I had my doctor's appointment today, she is writing the referral to the consultant, and seems to think I will get the same one I did with Amber

Instead of waiting for the 12 week mark this time she started me on aspirin and calcium today, so that is all good.

And my biggest worry about the sections being so close? She isn't worried in the slightest as she said I will not labour it will be another section so there is limited chance of the scar rupturing, so that is one big huge relief.

 

[AP]

Ooooooooooooh Danielle that's fab!!!!!! On the ball there huh?

 

[you&me]

Ooooooooooooh Danielle that's fab!!!!!! On the ball there huh?

My doctors is brilliant, I can't fault them, it is a different surgery to the one I was under with Reagan, they are really thorough and supportive, not to mention reassuring.

I had a peek at the P+T's...is it just me, or did you all freak at the idea of needing a double buggy?

How are you feeling Sandi? I have to be honest, although I was so grateful to get to full term, the last month or so felt like torture

 

[AP]

It is hard you&me. I've spent the day crying, maybe if I could laze around and chill, if this was the first pregnancy, I would be fine, but in fact I have Alex to run around after. And she still has issues being sick - like just now, I've just spent the last hour changing the cotbed and scrubbing the carpet, and I'm in agony DH won't get home til 10pm, and I'm alone most nights. I think nights are the worst if you are on your own ykwim? You can spend the day playing and feeding the kids but night time is baths, bottles..... Doing that while heavily pregnant is so hard.
Of course this is a tiny issue in comparison to having a preemie but in my tired stupor I can't see straight and I feel like tearing shreads out of DH as someone to blame.

 

[you&me]

Awww hun

I tore absolute shreds out of Allan in those last few weeks, if I was awake at night suffering then I made pretty sure he was too

The night time routines are hard...even harder when pregnant...because by then you are so tired you just want them to go to bed without a fuss and easily, and that doesn't always happen.

I promise you as soon as the baby is here things like the heartburn dissapear immediately, the hip pains eases off slowly, and these last few shitty weeks fade away.

Can you have a nice long soak in a warm bath then an earlyish night?...does Alex nap at all during the day?

NICU and SCBU is hard hard hard...I tried to get myself through the last month of pregnancy by saying to myself 'I am suffering, but my baby is still in there safe, so she isn't suffering'...if that makes sense?

Don't feel guilty about venting