Pregnant again but feeling guilty

[Flower15]

Hiya everyone!

Found out yesterday (AF due date) that Im pregnant again. I was 4 weeks yesterday. This pregnancy was very planned and I was ecstatic when I found out and feel very lucky as it happened first cycle TTC, but tonight, not sure if its just the hormones kicking in, but I feel so guilty on my LO. I feel guilty at the fact that I wont have as much time for her as I do now, that she wont be the baby anymore etc. Can anyone else relate to this? Thanks x

 

[bunnyg82]

I can absolutely relate! This pregnancy was very much planned and we also conceived quickly but it's been a hard journey with the guilt. In all honesty even though I was pleased when I found out, I wasn't excited as I was so worried and also busy with my son so it was a distraction. But I started getting more excited after our first scan and as the pregnancy has gone on and we've talked about it with our son. I do worry but I also try to focus on the positives for him, I am sure it will be hard for him to adjust but I hope that it will be really good for him to have a sibling

 

[AC1987]

Mine wasn't planned, but I understand feeling guilty.. it feels like my baby isn't gonna be a baby now

 

[Flower15]

Thanks, its nice to know im not the only one. Ive not stopped crying for the past 30 mins (like I said hormones probably dont help), I know the new baby will be very loved and looked after, but I just feel so bad on LO. I keep feeling guilty that Ive not let her be a baby for longer, just feel like Im going to turn her perfect little life upside down. Seriously dont know whats up with me! x

 

[tiredabby]

im on the same boat sweety. my pregnancy was unplanned.and i felt horrible but then i thought the best gift my mom gave me was my sis,we are 11 months apart but just like twins.shez my bestest friend.

 

[rpp]

I was the same when expecting my second but trust me it doesn't work that way. Somehow it was like I had extra hrs in the day and both kids get loads of attention mainly because we do activities as a group . Me and youngest get one to one when she is at school. Then when he sleeps and sometimes on weekends me and eldest have one to one x

 

[Flower15]

Thanks everyone!

I'm excited about being pregnant again, just feel so guilty on her. She's my world, and I worry about sharing my time between the two without dd feeling left out. I know I'm being silly, she loves playing with other babies so I don't know where these feelings are coming from!

Rpp - as you've already got two, how did you find the newborn days with a toddler. It sounds like you've got the perfect situation now, has it always been so easy? X

 

[rpp]

Thanks everyone!

I'm excited about being pregnant again, just feel so guilty on her. She's my world, and I worry about sharing my time between the two without dd feeling left out. I know I'm being silly, she loves playing with other babies so I don't know where these feelings are coming from!

Rpp - as you've already got two, how did you find the newborn days with a toddler. It sounds like you've got the perfect situation now, has it always been so easy? X

My daughter is just so excited to have someone to play with. From the moment I told her we was having a baby she was constantly wanting to buy him stuff. I found getting her to pick out special gifts helped and when he was born we have her a gift off him. They are both so close. It's tiring work juggling the two but as long as you can try and do fun activities as a group such as painting, playing in the bath together then just a bit of one on one time ( even if its just half an hr a day each ) . If I'm trying to do something with my son and my daughter wants me I just say come help MoMMy and it will be done quicker then we can do what you want. I must admit though I've been pretty lucky , I think because my daughter was in nursery at 6 months by the time she had a younger sibling she was very used to waiting her turn, sharing etc.

 

[rpp]

This is a general day to day for me.
Wake kids, feed them dress them
Do school run
Come bk play with boy for couple of hrs then put him for a nap
Get him up feed him go to a bay group then pick eldest up from a school
Depending on weather go park/beach/garden, of weather is bay I just bring tunnels and play tents in house and they can entertain each other while I cook dinner.
Kids eat then while daughter is having pudding take son to bed , do singing and reading, cuddles then bed
Do homework, couple of games or bedtime story with eldest then stick her to bed
(Weekends when son is napping take daughter out to park or beach again depending on weather). Daughter also does cheer leading after school so I leave son at home and stay to watch her. That's about as balanced as I can get it lol

 

[Flower15]

Seriously thankyou so much for that routine example. When I was putting LO to bed (ive always done it other than my Mum when Ive had odd date night with OH) I promised her Id never stop putting her to bed, but then when I came down I was wondering how Id juggle it. Like the idea of putting youngest to bed whilst eldest finishes pudding etc. Youve made me feel more positive about things, definately going to steal some of your ideas Think Im going to start taking her to play groups etc again to encourage her to mix with other children. Thanks again xx

 

[Flower15]

How you feeling about juggling the three? Exciting times xx

 

[rpp]

That's ok Hun glad I could offer a bit of help. I'm quite excited at the thought of three. You see the sort of person I was growing up ppl never though I'd be able too look after a goldfish never mind kids and even my mom has said she thinks I'm doing well juggling which is good. I've actually got my youngest one into nursery now for one day a week (his has issues with walking and talking, he can't do them lol) so hopefully this will help plus it will get him used to being around younger children, so when LO is here we will have that one day a week together for a yr then my son will do 15 hrs at nursery when he is three and I will rotate them round like on the example I have you it's all about figuring out what works best for you. Def do activities as a group together like messy play. If you are on Facebook there is a page called playcreateexplore with lots of ideas, I find things like that are good as the kids then play together and laugh and I can just sit back and watch and have a rest. You will probably find when the kids are together because they are quite young they will entertain each other a lot allowing you to get on with jobs around the house too.

 

[Nikkilewis14]

Yupp, same! My dd will be 14 months when this oe was born...not planned and i do feel like im taking away from her but in a way ur giving the other child a companion its a good thing!

 

[Wewantourmush]

I feel exactly the same! My son has a different dad and this is my partners first and I also worry that my partner will give all his attention to our son/daughter more than my little one. I am terrified of him being left out I keep getting so upset about it!xxx

 

[Flower15]

RPP - Thanks for that site, Im going to have a look in a little bit. Think if I try and get into a good routine in the early days it would benefit us all. Some of your advice and experience has been really beneficial, thanks

Nikkilewis14 - I think I keep focusing on the negatives of having two close together, if I look at it like that, where Im giving LO a companion to grow up with it seems alot better. You nearly ready for your first scan?

Wewantourmush - I can understand why your worried, but I bet when the time comes everything will slot in place. Does your partner treat your son like his own? xx

 

[rpp]

I feel exactly the same! My son has a different dad and this is my partners first and I also worry that my partner will give all his attention to our son/daughter more than my little one. I am terrified of him being left out I keep getting so upset about it!xxx[/QUOTE

I'm exactly the same. Daughter has a different dad and son is my husbands first but they get treated exactly the same by him xx don't worry

 

[candyem]

This is exactly how I felt!

This baby was also very much planned and also happened first month if trying (we didn't even really try too much tbh!) I thought it would take at least a few months this time....

It didn't!!!

I knew I was pregnant a few days wrote my missed period and was so excited. I took a test the day it was due and as I was waiting I was hoping to be pregnant so I really wanted it. That night I felt awful! I kept remembering little comments people had made 'don't rush into having number two!', 'enjoy him for a few years before you try for another'.

I didn't want to tell people but everyone so far has been thrilled for us! Now I look at my son and am excited that I am giving him a sibling and hopefully a lifelong friend.

It is most definitely hormones and it may come and go.

 

[Flower15]

Thanks Candyem, youve summed what Im feeling up nicely. I dont understand why I feel so guilty and sad for DD as this is what I wanted. Like you, I thought it would have taken a few months, never expected it to happen first cycle, silly I know! Sometimes Im feeling positive and excited, other times guilty and worried. I hate hormones!! Also dreading someone saying I should have waited, I feel guilty enough without comments being made. Just going to try and enjoy it x

 

[Nikkilewis14]

Oh flower I had 3 scans already and will have my 12 week one aug27th, I'm type 1 diabetic and didn't know when I ovulated then had bleeding, so I got a few extra scans....