Pregnant and Confused

[nikkigirl55]

I am a 17 year old who is 6 weeks pregnant. Me and my boyfriend have been dating on and off since December. We started having sex at the very beginning of February. I just recently found out I was this far along. Me and my boyfriend are not dating anymore, we are just talking and I have no idea how to tell him that I am without it looking like I am desperately trying to keep him. I am starting to show as I had a flat stomach and now it is starting to grow. When and how should I tell him I am pregnant?

 

[oneill614]

If you only had sex at the beginning of February then you got pregnant right away. 6 weeks is not very far along. If it were me, I would make doctor appointments, take prenatal vitamins, and eat what you should, but I wouldn't tell anyone yet. If you would like to maintain a relationship with your boyfriend, he will surely think you are trying to "trap" him. While of course I hope this doesn't happen to you, you could miscarry. For that reason especially I would wait a little while.

How old is the boyfriend? You never know, he may be happy about it. Even if he is young, some men look at it as a badge of honor I think. And it is best to be honest, whether you keep dating him or not. He has to know that he will be a dad. I would just wait a few more weeks.

 

[nikkigirl55]

I was thinking of waiting until my 3 months has passed just so that I am passed the scary part of the likelihood of a miscarriage. He is a little over 18 and he likes to party a lot and smoke with his friends, so I don't know about the whole excited thing. Thank you for the help.

 

[calliebaby]

Honestly, i would at the very least tell your parents. The first trimester can be a very hard time.
I worry that if you wait until 12 weeks to tell him, he'll wonder why you waited so long.
Obviously your choice when you tell people, but support is always good.
As the previous poster said, make your doctor appointment and start taking pre natal vitamins.
Good luck with whatever you do.

 

[alibaba24]

If i were you I would just be very honest. I would say something to the affect of "I understand we are not longer dating but I felt you should know. whether you want to be involved or not I plan to keep the baby" or something like that. good luck and take care of yourself

 

[nikkigirl55]

Thanks to all for the advice.!

 

[skyesmom]

not a teen but if i can offer my piece of an advice, i'd rather tell both him and your parents asap.

especially because the first tri is a tough and delicate time if you're pregnant, and a hell if you miscarry. miscarriage is a no joke and if you don't tell anyone you'll cut yourself off any support system you will need.

plus, i rather think he'll feel like you're lying and trying to "trap" him if at one point you say: "you know, i've been pregnant from you but i haven't told you and i miscarried" rather than telling him "hey, i know this is a hard news, but i'm pregnant with your baby. i don't expect you to get back with me just for this reason, or to be involved in its life, nor i'm trying to "trap" you, but i feel you need to know."

it is HIS responsibility too, having chosen to have unprotected sex with you. it's 50-50% yours and his, and the whole "trying to trap a guy" logic is a last century thing that should be banned. Guys need to take full responsibility of their actions as well and mind the contraception business themselves as well if they don't want babies too early. So get the whole "trapping him" business out of your head, you haven't planned or thought to be here at 17, just as he didn't at 18. That makes you two the same and you both have to deal with it.

Also, i find that waiting for the first three months to pass before telling him is a really bad idea. he may take THAT as being fooled and tricked and lied to. If you let him know now, you'll also give him more time to get adjusted to the idea and deal with it. You'll also make him feel he has some options with keeping the baby or not (i mean, it is your call in the end, whether to keep the baby or not, but at least there is SOME possibility you leave him to at least say his word, if you let him know before 12 weeks, even though it may not be what you want to hear. but i think it is important for your future relationship. and that's what you need to keep in mind, as children are a bond forever, whether you like it or not.)

 

[ClairAye]

I would tell him and your parents asap. The sooner the better IMO. Good luck!

 

[DoodleDoo]

I agree with the previous posters, you need to tell baby's dad that you're expecting. Maybe ask if he'll go to a scan or doctors appt with you so he knows you're not just trying to trap him with a false baby story?

It's really scary when you first find out but if you decide that you want to carry on with your pregnancy, it becomes wonderful really quickly. I think many of us in this forum know at least a little of what you're going through.

Good luck

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I would tell your parents as soon as you can, you'll want help and support and they may offer guidance with your future plans so you can sort something out early. It's up to you when you tell the father, I would say sooner is best but would understand if you wanted to wait until 12 weeks. You don't have to say you want a relationship, just tell him you're pregnant and hope you can be friends and have him
Involved with your baby's upbringing. Good luck! Xx

 

[Lozzii]

Telling him sooner rather than later would be your best option, he may just surprise you and be very supportive of you!
Just make sure you tell him that he doesn't need to feel trapped and that you are just respecting his right to know rather than trying to get any kind of reaction from him, keep him informed of important things like scan dates and due dates so that he has the option to be there, that way he can't claim that you're not letting him be involved Good luck, you seem to be very mature given the situation, congratulations on your pregnancy, even if it may not be ideal timing, I'm sure you'll be great.
Also tell your parents sooner rather than later, they'll most likely want to be able to be very involved!
Feel free to message me at any time, I'm also 17 and I'm 18 weeks pregnant, so I know how scary it can be!!