Pregnant doula?

[Cjackord]

I've just found out (not through my doula) that she is pregnant. She'll be about 5-6 months when I have my son, yet she still hasn't said anything. I'm 31 weeks now and starting to get a little concerned... I get the feeling that she is a little strapped for money and am worried that this is why she hasn't discussed it with me.

What would you do? I know 5-6 months isn't SO pregnant, but the thought of me having a long labor and her not being capable doesn't seem fair to me or her.

 

[booflebump]

She maybe hasn't mentioned anything yet as her pregnancy is still relatively new? When she does tell you the news, I would ask if she has a back up in place so that if she isn't fit to help you, you have a doula in place. Lots of doulas work while pregnant, but you both have to be happy and comfortable with the situation

 

[bumblebeexo]

She's maybe not mentioned it incase you would think she was incapable?

 

[Samiam03]

I don't think 5-6 is all that bad. Usually in that trimester women feel pretty good and she may still be fully functional. I wouldn't write her off for that but I would talk to her and find out her back up plans and if she feels capable of handling it.

 

[Cjackord]

Thanks ladies. I probably wouldn't be so concerned except that she's also flaked on our childbirth classes... I suppose I'll continue to give her the benefit of the doubt. She does have a back-up, if it comes to that. I would have just preferred an upfront, here's the situation talk from her.

It is nice to know that a pregnant doula isn't so crazy tho!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I've had a few colleagues doula right up until 36 wks pregnant. I think it's a personal thing. For me I'd want to only doula in the 2nd trimester till about 30 wks then concentrate on my own preparation bu it guess everyone is different. It's not a crazy idea but I outed definitely address any concerns with her about her being committed both now and once she's on call. You need to feel confident in her

 

[aliss]

I wouldn't worry about her pregnancy but I'd be concerned about flakiness.

 

[ace28]

I wouldn't worry about her pregnancy but I'd be concerned about flakiness.

Ditto this. Flakiness, to me, is completely unacceptable- especially from someone who by definition is supposed to BE there for you!

 

[Cjackord]

thanks ladies. it started with the flakiness for me... but she had a legitimate reason for canceling class (she's going through a marriage separation). i didn't get annoyed until she neglected to tell me she's pregnant. i just think a pregnancy should be something you divulge to clients when they ask what your schedule is going to be around their due date; i'm having a hbac and need my "team" to be reliable.

we've arranged for private childbirth classes with her, although she'll be cramming a 12 week curriculum into 4 classes AND they go past my due date. it's also frustrating because i'm paying the whole course fee but not taking the classes until the end of my pregnancy, because of her schedule. it just makes everything about exercise, diet, and preparation seem like a joke. but i feel stuck-- she's my last chance for classes as it's so late and she kept reassuring me that we'd get them done.

so i'm ignoring the mess, picking my battles, and SMILING. annoyed, but smiling. it's not worth a fight or the mess to try and find someone else!

seriously though, thank you for making me feel better about the pregnancy and her (possible) ability to be a doula.