Pregnant stepmoms

[no drama mama]

Hi all! I am a pregnant stepmom. I'm 9 weeks 5 days with my first DH has an 11 year old daughter and a certifiable ex-wife. Anyone else here a stepmom and when do you plan on telling the skids?

 

[April2012]

Greetings~

I am not a stepmom yet. BF and I aren't yet married. We haven't told the kids. I am 11 and a half weeks, but have some genetic testing coming up next week. (We have decided that termination may be a possibility if certain problems are present). Thus, we don't want to tell them in case termination becomes an issue. I think we will tell in about a week or two. not sure how they will react. We have talked about a new baby, and they seem excited. However, how they will react when they know it is a reality...who knows? I also don't know how the ex will react...but you can imagine.

 

[no drama mama]

How old are the stepkids? My DH's ex will hit the roof. After all, her child is more important than anyone else's and I'm sure he'll get text after text about how selfish he is and how he doesn't care about her feelings, etc. It'll be a great excuse for the ex to try and alienate his daughter against him further. And his daughter will be a mess. She's said repeatedly that she doesn't want a brother or sister because she likes being spoiled. So it's going to be rough and I've already told him he's going to have to keep it all away from me. I won't let anything or anyone spoil this time for me. Isn't steplife fun?

 

[SillyHale]

Hey girls! I'm a pregnant stepmom too Married to DH for a little over a year with a 5 year old stepdaughter. I'll be 10 weeks on Saturday but we've already told close family and his daughter about the baby. He wanted to tell her and therefore we were forced to tell his family too. I wanted to wait till I heard the heartbeat because explaining a miscarriage to a 5 year old would be devastating. DH told me "I was being pessimistic" so pretty much I'm praying all is well or I'll be pretty pissed at him for pushing me into telling people early.
We just sat her down and told her and she's super excited. She's been telling me I should have a baby. So all is good now. When the baby actually arrives is a different story. She was conceived on a one night stand, although DH and his ex had dated in the past but didn't get along. So there's a lot of spoiling on all side's of the family towards her. She was the first grandbaby on both sides and she's the only girl grandbaby now. It's all very complicating I see her react pretty jealous when cousins are around so I can only imagine how she'll behave when "dada" is playing with the baby.
I just hope we find a balance

 

[April2012]

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[fallenangel11]

Hi all. Congrats on your pregnancies!

I am a 25 year old pregnant stepmom! Been married almost a year My step-daughter(SD) is 4.5 years old and is a lovely child (obviously she has her bad moments- but most of those are from her mother anyway). The bio-mother could easily be called psycho b!tch. So step life can often be hell for us. The bio-mom was DH's girlfriend for a while but they never lived together and a baby happened just after DH had said he wanted to talk about a break up??

We went thru 2 years of court to get 50/50 custody when she's 5 (we won- tho spending $30,000 is not winning). At the moment we have her about 45% of the time.

We won't be telling SD until after 12 weeks (probably more like 16) as we hada miscarraige earlier this year. We've talked to her about the prospect of having a baby and she seems quite excited about it....but like a lot of you have said, when the baby is actually here it might be different. I've noticed lately she's starting to get jealous when my Hubby spends time with me or is affectionate with me- Luckily Hubby is very good and says- 'no I love Fallenangel too and I'm holding her hand now. You can hold my other hand or you can wait.' Also her Bio-mom will proabably tell her things like 'your daddy won't love you once his baby's there' etc.....yep she's emotionaly and mentaly harming her own kid (does it all the time).

I have the idealistic hope that our baby will be loved by me and hubby and SD will see that she's not being replaced and will learn to love her brother/sister too!

 

[no drama mama]

Our BMs sound pretty much the same. I know that ours will tell SD that the baby's not her *real* brother or sister and I might have to knock her out. I've been doing a lot of research on borderline personality disorder, codependency & smothering and I really wish we could get a psych evaluation but I guess we have to live with what we can get.

It sounds like your DH is very supportive of you - that's a great thing

 

[April2012]

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[fallenangel11]

Hi girls....how's things going??

Been away for a while. DH and I finally went on our Honeymoon....9months after our wedding. It was great! and it kept my mind off worrying about the baby all the time!! I'm now 13 weeks (baby measures 13w6d so its a big baby) so I'm feeling much less anxious.

On the Step-parenting front...we ended up taking SD to our 12w ultrasound (we had an emergency u/s at 11wks and the baby looked great) so we thought it'd be safe to take her. She liked watching the baby but lost intrest after about 4mins...and we were in there for a bout half an hour as Baby P wouldn't turn over so the u/s tech could get a good pic.