Preparing for Disappointment

[redneckhippy]

Hello. So I have my anatomy scan on Monday. We went through a lot to get pregnant (IVF, etc) and I almost lost the baby in the first trimester, so I feel like I'm a horrible person because after all that I should just be happy to be where I am and not care and I AM happy to be where I am and at the end of the day I do just want a healthy baby, but I know that if I find out it's a girl on Monday, the first feeling I'm going to have is disappointment. Which makes me feel absolutely terrible. I have this fear that I'm going to be punished with a baby with health problems or something becuase I should just be happy it's healthy and not care about the gender. But I can't help, I just have felt like it's a boy the whole time and when I think about the baby I think of a boy and refer to it as a boy. The thought of having a girl is really scary to me. I know I can raise a boy and relate to a boy, but I feel like I wouldn't know what to do with a girl.

The main reason I'm finding out the gender is so that when my baby is born the first thing I feel isn't disappointment if it's a girl. I don't want to feel this way at all I just can't help it. How do I prepare myself so that I can be excited either way at the ultrasound?

 

[olivehead]

The excitement comes naturally, don't stress yourself about it! I think part of the disappointment is that moms (and I'm guilty of this too) fixate intensely on this fantasy of what their future child is going to be/look like and when the expectation isn't met exactly...panic sometimes sets in. But how could you not fall for a little you once you see her/him?!

I'm having my THIRD girl and even though I of course would have enjoyed having a blue bundle at some point...I'm still totally pumped about welcoming this new darling in a few weeks. Boy or girl, you've MADE this life with your hubby/partner and you'll love it no matter what the gender.

It seems hard but just try not to get caught up in the concern over its gender and you'll be just fine.