Questions about miscarriage

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Bella12, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. Bella12

    Bella12 Well-Known Member

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    I started spotting last week and learned today that the baby has stopped developing at 7w4d. It was reccommended that I take meds that will flush my system. I am deeply saddened by this loss. This was my first attempt st ttc.

    I am a thin person (90lbs at 5ft 2in) under 35yrs of age. I have a vitimin D deficiency. Has anyone gotten pregnant and had a healthy baby under similar circumstances? What are my odds of having another miscarriage?

    I never thought I could have gotten attached to a fetus I could not see or experience. How long does one feel sad?

    How physically painful will process be?

    How soon did you become pregnant after a mc? How many weeks should you wait?
     
  2. dairymomma

    dairymomma Well-Known Member

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    First off, I'm so sorry you are going thru this. I've had several myself and it's certainly not fun, especially when you have no clue what to expect. Know that it will take some time and you'll feel sad for awhile, but someday the pain won't be quite so sharp and you'll be happy again. :hugs:

    Secondly to answer your questions, being thin shouldn't be a main cause for miscarriage. That would be something to talk to your doctor about and they'd be able to better tell you what weight you should be at. Rest assured though, plenty of slender people have carried babies to term. I know a woman who got pregnant, had her baby, and wore her skinny jeans home from the hospital. However, I've just found out the being Vit D deficient can be a possible cause for miscarriage. I'm not able to remember why this is, but I do remember talking to some of the ladies on another thread about this recently. I'll see if I can't find that info and pass it on to you. Were you taking a supplement? When I was last tested, I was at the very LOW end...like 3 points off being diagnosed with rickets low...And I've carried to term twice despite that so it's not an end-all either.

    As of right now, your odds of miscarrying are relatively low yet. This was your first pregnancy, you are under 35, and (I'm assuming) have no family history of recurrent miscarriage. Most doctors will tell you this was just an unlucky thing that happened and that your next baby will be a healthy, full-term child. There's no guarantees in life but unless you have 3 (or more) consecutive miscarriages or have other health issues like diabetes that could adversely affect a pregnancy, the doctor will say your chances of miscarriage remain low.

    Feeling sad is normal after a miscarriage. You become attached to that life, that flicker inside you even if you haven't seen it on an ultrasound. It's more than just two lines on an hpt, it's your baby. And it'll be up to you really, on how long you feel sad. Some women recover quickly from a miscarriage. Some women are simply devastated and take much longer. It's totally on how you handle the grieving process. For me, it's usually a few weeks before I'm 'okay' again but seeing babies or hearing someone else announce a pregnancy can be hard to deal with for up to a year afterwards.

    The pain part is different for everyone too. I've had 7 natural miscarriages between 7 and 9+4 weeks and one D&C for a mmc at 15 weeks (the baby stopped at 13 1/2-14). My natural miscarriages were almost all unexpected and I didn't know I was miscarrying until I started bleeding and cramping. Mostly they started out with minor period cramps and bleeding that escalated in strength until I passed the sac. The further along I was, the more the cramps hurt but I've never had to take anything stronger than tyelonol for pain. I've heard that a miscarriage using the medication can be more painful but I can't say for sure as I've never used the meds. Other women will tell you they thought they were dying from the pain and had to get heavy-duty painkillers. I guess it's up to you, your pain tolerance, and how your body handles the miscarriage. What you can expect is bleeding, cramping, and passing some clots like a period. If you start bleeding heavy (as in filling a pad twice in an hour for more than two hours) then GO IN. If you are worried about pain, ask your doctor for a painkiller prescription when you get your medication. Make sure you have lots of fluids to stay hydrated, use a heating pad or hot water bottle to help ease the cramping, have books/magazines/movies to keep you occupied, and take it easy for a few days afterwards. You can expect your next period to be delayed slightly as your hormone levels have to drop before you can cycle next. I typically get my period 6-8 weeks after a m/c. (~3-4 weeks after my hormones have returned to 0)

    I've gotten pregnant as early as one cycle after a miscarriage and as late as 8 months after a miscarriage. (We ntnp so we aren't actively ttc. It just happens when it happens.) The common thought is that you are more fertile for up to 3 months after a miscarriage since everything is all 'cleaned out'. I've been told to wait at least 3 cycles (or 3 months whichever comes first) so my body can heal properly but most women on here will say their doctor said to wait one cycle in order to get your dates set again unless you've been told to wait for a specific reason.

    So there...I hope I've answered your questions but if you have anymore, I'd be happy to try and answer them. I know what it's like to have a miscarriage and not know what to expect or know what questions to ask the doctor. So good luck and I hope you get your rainbow baby soon!
     
  3. Bella12

    Bella12 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Dairymomma for your informative reply. It makes me hopeful for future. When I found out the worst happened on my first pregnancy Thanksgiving Daythis morning, I was worried that I would be a repeat offender. I found out in August that my vitamin D levels was at a low amount and was told take 50,000 units vitamin D every 5 days. I stopped taking a vitamin D pills when I found out I was pregnant. The doctor said I needed a lower dose.

    It's good to know other people feel sad. Generally I'm not overly emotional person. I'm shocked I feel this sad. I was so excited to start a family. I'm hoping to start ttc as soon as dr. gives me permission. I don't want one bad experience to ruin my chances but am worried it will be in the back of my mind. I don't want to stress and fear because another miscarriage.

    I really appreciate your post and as I have no one to talk to other than my husband. I did not even tell my mother. I wanted to keep make it aThanksgiving Day surprise if I still wasn't showing. your kindness has touched me.:hugs:
     
  4. dairymomma

    dairymomma Well-Known Member

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    You are certainly welcome. I was in a similar situation with my first m/c and I wish I had been able to talk to someone back then as I think it would have really helped. I do want to say that the biggest thing that's helped me by far is to talk to other people. It's hard keeping it in and talking about it can be scary but there's something so therapeutic in just letting it all out. Plus it's helped other women in my community open up about their own experiences and how they coped with losses similar to mine. I feel the biggest benefit is everyone understands why I might have to leave the room for a few minutes when a new pg is announced or someone walks in with their new baby and they respect my wish for a few minutes of privacy.

    And I wish I could tell you that the next time you get pregnant, you won't feel anxious and nervous. Some women aren't as easily affected by losses and they can be happy about all their pregnancies. Others aren't and worry the whole time. Hopefully your next pregnancy will be a healthy, happy, worry-free one and you will get to hold a wriggly, squirmy baby nine months later.
     
  5. Bella12

    Bella12 Well-Known Member

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    I have seen some of your other posts as well. How do you stay so positive? You are a real motivation to women going through this. While I will always look at pregnancy a little differently, it seems that with perseverance a baby can grow to full term. For now I think my 6 month old puppy is going to have to do.
     
  6. dairymomma

    dairymomma Well-Known Member

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    Honestly, I don't know how I can write positive words sometimes because deep down inside I'm just as fearful and scared as the next woman who has gone thru this is. The biggest thing for me is not to let that fear take over. I did that once and went thru heck and back before my doctor diagnosed me with post-partum depression last year. Since I've started treatment, my moods and emotions are on a much more even keel. I still have my 'poor me, pity me' days but they feel more normal (not overwhelming like they used to) and I'm actually happy more often than not. I think that's why I try to post positive messages. Because those positive messages I received during the last year made such a difference for me. It helps SO much to know you have at least one person pulling for you.

    And for future reference, I had a 'fur baby' to help me thru my first 3 m/c too. Mindy is now 6 and slowing down but she still 'knows' when I'm feeling down. She comes over, plops down by my side, and sticks her cold doggy nose in my hand as if to say, "I'm always here for ya. I'll never let you down." Knowing I had this animal to care for, to love, and to (most importantly) need me, helped me get thru those first few m/c. It's not the same as a real baby, but there's still the love and affection part of it and that puppy needs you to care for it. So snuggle your pup. It'll help a little bit.
     
  7. CupcakeBaby

    CupcakeBaby Pregnant with a Princess

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    Hi sweetie. So sorry for your loss.

    I had a MC last year. And got pregnant again 3 weeks later.

    If you do want to TTC straight away again there's no reason not to but I'd say it's safer not to take any medication if that's what you want to do.
     
  8. Bella12

    Bella12 Well-Known Member

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    I think I adopted her, "my furry baby" at a good time. She was in a kill shelter at 12 weeks old.I saved her this ssummer. She's definitely saving me now. She's a hyper almost 6 month old BUT she has been nothing but gentle with me. While I want a real baby, she'll have to do for now.

    Cupcakebaby, thanks for your message. It's harder to find the success stories. It's good to know that maybe if ok I'm lucky, I could have a baby to love by the summer. I'm waiting for my next round of blood work to come back so I can see if I'm still deficient in vitamin D. I agree that meds and pregnancy don't mix.
     

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