Rant about care for my kids while in labor

[Mother of 4]

Really upset. So my MIL was supposed to take care of our 4 kids when I went into labor. We live 45 min. from the hospital and it's usually a 2 night stay for a normal vaginal delivery. I just had my husband call her and talk to her because when I go in this next Friday I will be planning my induction for the following week when I hit 40 weeks. They are planning a garage sale that same weekend that I turn 40 weeks...of course it's still 2 weeks away and they don't have an ad out or anything for it yet. So she informed us that she won't watch the kids that weekend if we schedule the induction as they had already planned doing their sale that weekend. Are you kidding me??!!! It's a baby we are bringing in the world over a damn garage sale you could put off a weekend or 2!

Ontop of that she asked if my husband was going to be coming home every night to take the kids back to our house and take care of them. How stupid would that be. She knows with every kid that he stays with me most of the time as it's our bonding time with baby. We've done this with all the kids. My mom has lived in the same state when I had every baby so she always came to our home and took care of the kids for us no questions asked. His mother won't even come to our home which would be easier on the kids but whatever I wasn't complaining as long as she was watching them. We can't afford the gas to drive back and forth....I'm so upset that this is being sprung on us now

 

[Emma 21]

hun its a shame we dont live local... id have urs a u cud wtach mine im being induced the 27th. bloody families are so unreliable. my mom wants to be my birthing partner with my hubby and there is noone else reliable to watch my 2 boys. so im stressed too. i really feel for you xx

 

[RedString]

MIL's. can't live with 'em can't drag them into the street and put them out of our misery...
Seriously though, what a cow. if she's not willing to watch the others for you then you should revoke her visitation rights of new baby, I'm sure she'd love that.

 

[Doodlepants]

That really sucks hun! Can you get hubby to talk some sense into her? She's being a jerk!
You don't need the stress right now

 

[soootired]

i was induced last week, pretty much new the date for a while as it was my due date but my mother in law chose that week to go visit my sister in law miles away. weird people are mil's i pray i dont turn into an evil one!

 

[NOMORENUMBERS]

aw see i am lucky my mother in law is an angel!

i really really do not understand mother in laws who do not see it as gaining a daughter as much as losing a son . . . i understand that not everyone will get on with everyone but why would you think a garage sale is more important than a grandchild - at the end of the day you might not be her daughter but her son is her son! you think she would think it as helping him! and also booking to see your daughter when your son is having a baby! just crazy! i have a boy and this one is a girl and i can not imagine treating one different to the other like that simply because my daughter bore the child as opposed to a daughter in law! grrrr i dont understand!

 

[Chocciebutton]

I have a problem with the childcare when I give birth....basically I am 33 weeks but could go in at anytime due to my blood pressure going up and my previous pregnancy history. My husband and I dont drive and live on edge of Dartmoor.....hospital is 40 miles away. My family live abroad and the rest 6 hours journey away. My neighbour promised she would look after my 15 year old and my 6 year old when I go in, but she has been funny with me lately, basically I havent cut her front lawn for her the last time I did the gardening it was just too much, I usually do it as a favour but I have been struggling and since then she has been funny and not talking to me
I dont think she would be 100% reliable anyway. I dont know what I am going to do as they will not allow children up the hospital or in an ambulance if it comes to it. I have a friend who will try and get to me but she lives a half hour drive from us so if its an emergency situation, depending where she is it may be difficult. I really dont want to be on my own as I have had problems with both my previous births. My MIL lives an hours drive away but she says I should stop being a baby and go on my own

 

[abc123x]

Okay, if this was a trip to the Bahamas, I'd understand. But a garage sale?!

She can't push it back a week? I'd have a tantrum. Anyway that your mom could watch them, and you can just tell her to forget about it since she'll be too busy?

 

[RedString]

I have a problem with the childcare when I give birth....basically I am 33 weeks but could go in at anytime due to my blood pressure going up and my previous pregnancy history. My husband and I dont drive and live on edge of Dartmoor.....hospital is 40 miles away. My family live abroad and the rest 6 hours journey away. My neighbour promised she would look after my 15 year old and my 6 year old when I go in, but she has been funny with me lately, basically I havent cut her front lawn for her the last time I did the gardening it was just too much, I usually do it as a favour but I have been struggling and since then she has been funny and not talking to me
I dont think she would be 100% reliable anyway. I dont know what I am going to do as they will not allow children up the hospital or in an ambulance if it comes to it. I have a friend who will try and get to me but she lives a half hour drive from us so if its an emergency situation, depending where she is it may be difficult. I really dont want to be on my own as I have had problems with both my previous births. My MIL lives an hours drive away but she says I should stop being a baby and go on my own

What a biiiiitch.

What are the laws regarding child care over there? I would think your 15 year old would be old enough to watch your 6 year old over night? Or at least until some one can get there?

I'm lucky in the sense that I have two MILs. One of whom is an absolute nightmare and drives me insane, and the other, OH's stepmom, is much nicer. we don't agree on everything, but she doesn't interfere terribly either. She's already agreed to come down and take Adrian when I go in, and I've a few friends/relatives that can take him short-term while she drives down (they live an hour/hour and a half away).

 

[Chocciebutton]

Redstring......I think it is against the law for a 15 year old to look after a 6 year old, especially overnight and I dont feel I can trust my 15 year old son to have responsibilty of looking after him, they fight at the best of times!

 

[Mother of 4]

Okay, if this was a trip to the Bahamas, I'd understand. But a garage sale?!

She can't push it back a week? I'd have a tantrum. Anyway that your mom could watch them, and you can just tell her to forget about it since she'll be too busy?

I forgot to add that since I had my last child 2 years ago that my mom has since moved 8 hrs away. She came back this weekend for my stepdad to have some testing done at the hospital but they are leaving tomorrow morning and will not be able to make another trip back when I have the baby otherwise she would do it in a heartbeat.

 

[RedString]

I know over here I took the babysitter's course when I was 12, so was actually a licensed babysitter. But I don't know when over-night sitting is "legal" even here, because I never had to do it until I was 15/16, and even then it was only my siblings.

Which country are you in? I'm in Canada, if that helps any.

edit: though if you don't feel comfortable leaving them together obviously don't!! lol sorry i realized after i hit "post" that it looked like i was trying to push you into it, totally not. I know what you mean, my younger brother is 14/15 right now and my mum hated leaving him with the younger kids for the longest time because they would always fight.

 

[bobblebot]

sorryhun thatfamily are letting you down,i know it stinks, i'ma singlemum of 4 teens, a 3 year old and 34 weeks pregnant...just way things have ended up!....but one thing i have learnt is people frequently let you donw so ALWAYS have a back up plan, ask as many people as possible, rope all your friends in and keep reminding them about it....i hate to say it but people especially funny are strange and its no use getting annoyed...its their failings not yours....but make sure you treat them as they treat you....hope you get things sorted hun.

 

[Mother of 4]

sorryhun thatfamily are letting you down,i know it stinks, i'ma singlemum of 4 teens, a 3 year old and 34 weeks pregnant...just way things have ended up!....but one thing i have learnt is people frequently let you donw so ALWAYS have a back up plan, ask as many people as possible, rope all your friends in and keep reminding them about it....i hate to say it but people especially funny are strange and its no use getting annoyed...its their failings not yours....but make sure you treat them as they treat you....hope you get things sorted hun.

Unfortunetely we don't have much family around that would do this sort of thing so his mom was the only possibility unless my mom was here visiting. She left this morning to go back which is 8 hrs away. Although we called my SIL yesterday (she has 3 children) and we watch her kids for her occasionally too. But anyhow she said she would watch our kids if we could schedule to be induced Saturday the 18th (40+1) and she would also watch them that Sunday. That would at least give my husband the first night in the hospital with me and baby. Hopefully they can schedule the induction on that Saturday or it'll be a whole different story.

We're thinking about my husband just bringing the kids to the hospital during the day if I go into labor naturally before that since my MIL wants him to come back everyday from the hospital anyway. He may as well just bring the kids and spend the day at the hospital with me and then go home at night. If she doesn't want to take care of them will just figure it out without her. I'm tired of playing her games. I think she is just trying to control the situation and make it hard for my husband to be with me since I don't want her in the delivery this time around. I'm to the point where I'm so sick of family. Most of mine and my husbands are pretty worthless to be honest.