Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

Ladies, I just need to vent. I'm feeling so hopeless about my LO's sleep. I don't know what to do anymore.

She woke hourly until she was about 10 weeks old. She was a reflux baby and just not a great sleeper all around. DH and I used to sleep in shirts when we were both on leave.

Things got better around 12 weeks and she started sleeping in 7-9 hour stretches. Then 4 month regression hit and that fell apart. Even so, we had some tough nights but she generally would still do a nice long stretch at the beginning of the night of 5/6 hours. Every mom I know assured me it would pass.

We're at 5.5 months now and had wake-ups down to 1-3 times a night. Not perfect, but bearable. Friday night she was up 3 times, but for an entire hour in the middle of the night. Last night it was Every. Single. Hour. On the dot. These nights seem to be increasing recently.

I'm so confused. She goes to bed early, drowsy but awake and seems to know how to self-soothe. She takes good naps. Usually 3 a day of 45 minutes to 1.5 hours. We make sure she gets play/stimulation during the day. She eats extremely well during the day (five 6 or 7 ounce bottles) and we've started solids. I've read every book I can get my hands on. I've even talked to a "sleep coach". Nothing seems to help or make a difference. I tried some CC a few weeks ago and it worked for a few days, but things seemed to get worse after that so I stopped and assumed she wasn't ready.

I guess I'm not really looking for advice, just venting. I feel so totally hopeless right now. Every day I'm so tired I feel ill. I feel like I am losing it and don't feel like I have the energy to be a good mother. LO and I had so much fun yesterday! We went swimming, had a nice long walk around the park and played in her new highchair. She was smiling all day long. Naps were good. I thought for sure she would sleep well, but it was a terrible night.

I work a 55 hour work week and my performance is slipping. My relationship with DH is suffering because we argue about this (he wants to get more aggressive about sleep training). I cry at the drop of a hat. I really didn't think I would be in this position at 5.5 months. With a newborn, okay, sure... I'm not even looking for sleep through the night. Just some consistency and a few good blocks of sleep! I know this will pass eventually, but right now I feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Just working on surviving, I guess.

Thanks for listening!

 

[aliss]

So sorry... but I remember 6 months was another doozy It did pass.

 

[Noelle610]

So sorry... but I remember 6 months was another doozy It did pass.

Thanks Aliss. I know you understand. Hope you and the little one are doing well!

This "sleep coach" did say 4-5 months was basically one big "Wonder Week". I just hate to have expectations that things will improve if they won't. Better to be realistic.

 

[April76]

Noelle610 - i know how you feel, my boy is nearly 8 months old and at first he was doing great at sleeping. He got to 6 months old and it all went downhill. He wakes up every night almost every hour on the dot, i don't know how he does it. He just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I also feel like that im losing it .

I just don't know what has happened. There is no difference in his bedtime time routine. Im just hoping it gets better

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle610 - i know how you feel, my boy is nearly 8 months old and at first he was doing great at sleeping. He got to 6 months old and it all went downhill. He wakes up every night almost every hour on the dot, i don't know how he does it. He just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I also feel like that im losing it .

I just don't know what has happened. There is no difference in his bedtime time routine. Im just hoping it gets better

It's so frustrating when you just can't figure it out! If I knew the "why" of it, I think it would be easier to cope.

For me, quite honestly, I think I just have a "bad" (hate to use that term) sleeper. I know it just comes more naturally to some babies. When I accept it, it's easier. I truly struggle more when I'm looking for the solution and nothing works.

I was speaking with a client the other day who was encouraging. He told me his first child slept through the night at 6 weeks. He thought it was because they had a great routine and he was doing something right. He parented the next baby in exactly the same way... and he didn't sleep through the night until he was well over a year old and even then it wasn't consistent. He basically, said "All kids are different and you're doing nothing wrong". That helps to hear.

 

[hamster wheel]

Hi ladies, may I join this pity party? I have a terrible sleeper and at times I feel so hopeless. It doesn't help that others around me have terrific babies who have figured out how to sleep. At first I was optimistic when people said he'd get better after 6 weeks, then 12 weeks, then 6 months...he is now 7 months.

I'm in your camp, I can't figure it out and feel like I've tried everything. Hoping things will get better soon.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

 

[Noelle610]

Hi ladies, may I join this pity party? I have a terrible sleeper and at times I feel so hopeless. It doesn't help that others around me have terrific babies who have figured out how to sleep. At first I was optimistic when people said he'd get better after 6 weeks, then 12 weeks, then 6 months...he is now 7 months.

I'm in your camp, I can't figure it out and feel like I've tried everything. Hoping things will get better soon.

I'm right there with you! That's the tough thing with those ambiguous "it gets better" dates. Everyone is telling me things will work themselves out by 6 months, but I don't want to get my hopes up for a random age that won't mean anything to my LO.

 

[Noelle610]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

When I'm feeling sane, that's my mantra! They won't be waking us at 18, right?! You have such a good attitude, Jessica. Hope it rubs off on me.

 

[Millnsy]

I really feel for you US ladies going back to work so soon. At 5.5 months my oldest was a nightmare but I didn't have to work! All I know is that when I went back full time when she was 10 months she did sleep through and has ever since. No point to post, just sympathy!

 

[newaddition]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

When I'm feeling sane, that's my mantra! They won't be waking us at 18, right?! You have such a good attitude, Jessica. Hope it rubs off on me.

May I just add that I have an 11 year old and a 5 month old ( yes, doing this again at 41) neither of my boys slept/ sleep...they are the exact same, waking every 1-3 hours, have never gone more than 3 hours at once. However, when my oldest finally did sleep he was a wonderful, secure, confident baby who slept great, even when he went to his big boy bed...never tried to get out, no problems....off to sleep for the night. It will pass and your efforts, sacrifices will be rewarded by secure children who know we are there for them when they need us. Some babies just need a little more help/ reassurance It will get better, honest... And I've been up since 4 am lol

 

[socitycourty]

Mine is too, she is such a bad sleeper/napper.

I have not had a straight sleep since May 31st (the day I went into labor) at first I thought it was her BF/reflux/allergy problems that kept her from sleeping. No, even with the formula and etc. her sleep is still bad.

She screams down the car every time. She cries all day. Gets up for bottles 2-3 times a night.

I'm so out of it sometimes I get scared. I do try to be grateful she is healthy, etc. and I love her to pieces but I feel less human now, like I have no personality or something if that makes sense, I can hardly get to the bathroom without her crying and if she's napping I have to tiptoe around and do chores as she is such a light sleeper.

We bedshare and I have a feeling if I didn't it would be even worse. If she's in a deep sleep, you set her down and her eyes pop open and she starts flapping her arms.

Sometimes it is so hard and I'm so exhausted. I still have 20 lbs to lose and at the moment I don't have the time or energy to exercise as hard as I need to, or to prepare healthy foods...it is really hard.

I don't have the heart to do any sleep training as the sound of her constant crying throughout the day already gives me anxiety attacks.

Just a whine to commiserate. My niece has been sleeping through since she was 6 weeks old! I try hard not to compare

 

[socitycourty]

And I'm also ill from the long term lack of sleep. I had a flu for 3 weeks, then a cold for 3 weeks and I have weird problems with my appetite and my eating, and can't lose weight. not to mention horrible anxiety (which had been under control before she was born) and panic attacks

 

[Noelle610]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

When I'm feeling sane, that's my mantra! They won't be waking us at 18, right?! You have such a good attitude, Jessica. Hope it rubs off on me.

May I just add that I have an 11 year old and a 5 month old ( yes, doing this again at 41) neither of my boys slept/ sleep...they are the exact same, waking every 1-3 hours, have never gone more than 3 hours at once. However, when my oldest finally did sleep he was a wonderful, secure, confident baby who slept great, even when he went to his big boy bed...never tried to get out, no problems....off to sleep for the night. It will pass and your efforts, sacrifices will be rewarded by secure children who know we are there for them when they need us. Some babies just need a little more help/ reassurance It will get better, honest... And I've been up since 4 am lol

It really helps to hear it from someone who has been there. When you're in it, it feels like it will go on FOREVER. Helps to get some perspective.

 

[aliss]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

When I'm feeling sane, that's my mantra! They won't be waking us at 18, right?! You have such a good attitude, Jessica. Hope it rubs off on me.

May I just add that I have an 11 year old and a 5 month old ( yes, doing this again at 41) neither of my boys slept/ sleep...they are the exact same, waking every 1-3 hours, have never gone more than 3 hours at once. However, when my oldest finally did sleep he was a wonderful, secure, confident baby who slept great, even when he went to his big boy bed...never tried to get out, no problems....off to sleep for the night. It will pass and your efforts, sacrifices will be rewarded by secure children who know we are there for them when they need us. Some babies just need a little more help/ reassurance It will get better, honest... And I've been up since 4 am lol

It really helps to hear it from someone who has been there. When you're in it, it feels like it will go on FOREVER. Helps to get some perspective.

Alex was the same too. Mind you, by 14-18 months, we got by with 1 waking a night unless ill. I can say in hindsight it was very worth it, although the most exhausting thing ever.

Philippe... well, I can say at ONE week that Philippe is sleeping better than Alex did at 6 months So, again it really cements my belief that there is a personality that you just need to work with.

 

[Noelle610]

Mine is too, she is such a bad sleeper/napper.

I have not had a straight sleep since May 31st (the day I went into labor) at first I thought it was her BF/reflux/allergy problems that kept her from sleeping. No, even with the formula and etc. her sleep is still bad.

She screams down the car every time. She cries all day. Gets up for bottles 2-3 times a night.

I'm so out of it sometimes I get scared. I do try to be grateful she is healthy, etc. and I love her to pieces but I feel less human now, like I have no personality or something if that makes sense, I can hardly get to the bathroom without her crying and if she's napping I have to tiptoe around and do chores as she is such a light sleeper.

We bedshare and I have a feeling if I didn't it would be even worse. If she's in a deep sleep, you set her down and her eyes pop open and she starts flapping her arms.

Sometimes it is so hard and I'm so exhausted. I still have 20 lbs to lose and at the moment I don't have the time or energy to exercise as hard as I need to, or to prepare healthy foods...it is really hard.

I don't have the heart to do any sleep training as the sound of her constant crying throughout the day already gives me anxiety attacks.

Just a whine to commiserate. My niece has been sleeping through since she was 6 weeks old! I try hard not to compare

I have had one straight sleep. I had to go to a training in a nearby city and spent the night. It was amazing to have a full night's sleep. It was almost a tease because it reminded me what it feels like!

I have no idea how women go to the gym on such little sleep. Although a good friend of mine insists it helps her feel more awake!

Totally relate to feeling "less human". Sleep is such a basic human need. I knew there would be sleepless nights when I planned to have a baby, but nothing could have prepared me!

 

[Noelle610]

And I'm also ill from the long term lack of sleep. I had a flu for 3 weeks, then a cold for 3 weeks and I have weird problems with my appetite and my eating, and can't lose weight. not to mention horrible anxiety (which had been under control before she was born) and panic attacks

I'm lucky to have a pretty awesome immune system. I am TERRIFIED of getting sick. Not sure how I'd cope (thought I'm sure i would). I too suffer from anxiety and sleep deprivation has always made it worse.

 

[Noelle610]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

When I'm feeling sane, that's my mantra! They won't be waking us at 18, right?! You have such a good attitude, Jessica. Hope it rubs off on me.

May I just add that I have an 11 year old and a 5 month old ( yes, doing this again at 41) neither of my boys slept/ sleep...they are the exact same, waking every 1-3 hours, have never gone more than 3 hours at once. However, when my oldest finally did sleep he was a wonderful, secure, confident baby who slept great, even when he went to his big boy bed...never tried to get out, no problems....off to sleep for the night. It will pass and your efforts, sacrifices will be rewarded by secure children who know we are there for them when they need us. Some babies just need a little more help/ reassurance It will get better, honest... And I've been up since 4 am lol

It really helps to hear it from someone who has been there. When you're in it, it feels like it will go on FOREVER. Helps to get some perspective.

Alex was the same too. Mind you, by 14-18 months, we got by with 1 waking a night unless ill. I can say in hindsight it was very worth it, although the most exhausting thing ever.

Philippe... well, I can say at ONE week that Philippe is sleeping better than Alex did at 6 months So, again it really cements my belief that there is a personality that you just need to work with.

1 night waking sounds like a dream right now! I wish someone could tell me *exactly* how long it would last so I could count down

I'm so happy Philippe is sleeping better... I just KNEW that would be the case for you!

 

[socitycourty]

when i was sick i had a 102 fever and she kept wanting to be held or picked up and i was hot/dizzy. i kept crying for my DH to get her off me. i felt bad but i was really sick

 

[aliss]

Awhh hun it will pass. At least that's what I keep telling myself. You know what a bad sleeper Lilly is, and every time I get up with her in the night I just take a deep breath and keep telling myself this won't last forever. SHE WILL SLEEP! Eventually..
LOL.

When I'm feeling sane, that's my mantra! They won't be waking us at 18, right?! You have such a good attitude, Jessica. Hope it rubs off on me.

May I just add that I have an 11 year old and a 5 month old ( yes, doing this again at 41) neither of my boys slept/ sleep...they are the exact same, waking every 1-3 hours, have never gone more than 3 hours at once. However, when my oldest finally did sleep he was a wonderful, secure, confident baby who slept great, even when he went to his big boy bed...never tried to get out, no problems....off to sleep for the night. It will pass and your efforts, sacrifices will be rewarded by secure children who know we are there for them when they need us. Some babies just need a little more help/ reassurance It will get better, honest... And I've been up since 4 am lol

It really helps to hear it from someone who has been there. When you're in it, it feels like it will go on FOREVER. Helps to get some perspective.

Alex was the same too. Mind you, by 14-18 months, we got by with 1 waking a night unless ill. I can say in hindsight it was very worth it, although the most exhausting thing ever.

Philippe... well, I can say at ONE week that Philippe is sleeping better than Alex did at 6 months So, again it really cements my belief that there is a personality that you just need to work with.

1 night waking sounds like a dream right now! I wish someone could tell me *exactly* how long it would last so I could count down

I'm so happy Philippe is sleeping better... I just KNEW that would be the case for you!

Thanks! Yes the time would help. I think pushing it out of my mind helped more though. I was back to work at 10 weeks (and between you and me, I worked 7pm-4am which gave me a 1 hour nap time at work, and working gave me better sleep LOL), I really do sympathize!!!!