Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Shoogle]

Nathan from 5months 1week was up every 45 mins for 24days in a row. Then it just stopped. He still wakes several times but we only have to help 3ish times a night. We didnt change anything he just figured it out what he needed to I guess. I think at this point they are learning that they are separate from us. And things can be behind things and still exist. Makes for some bad nights. Me and my dh always split tthe night one does bedtime through 2am and wakes up with the baby in the morning. Te other does 2am to 6am which for us is the awful bit as he isn't a good early morning sleeper. It does get better hope for you it is sooner rather than later.

 

[Noelle610]

Nathan from 5months 1week was up every 45 mins for 24days in a row. Then it just stopped. He still wakes several times but we only have to help 3ish times a night. We didnt change anything he just figured it out what he needed to I guess. I think at this point they are learning that they are separate from us. And things can be behind things and still exist. Makes for some bad nights. Me and my dh always split tthe night one does bedtime through 2am and wakes up with the baby in the morning. Te other does 2am to 6am which for us is the awful bit as he isn't a good early morning sleeper. It does get better hope for you it is sooner rather than later.

I have heard that some babies go very quickly from sleeping poorly to sleeping well. I don't want to get my hopes up, but I do wish this would happy for us! My friend Lara's baby was up every 2 hours around 4 months and at 5.5 months has recently started STTN.

I really need to split more night work with DH, but I always hear LO before he does. UGH!

 

[bananaz]

Elsie was also up EVERY HOUR all night last night! What the heck is going on with these babies?!

I've also given up on CC for the time being. It definitely helped her learn to self-settle for naps (which wasn't the goal at all, lol) but her nighttime sleep is still so screwy I think something else is going on, and I don't think CC is going to help. Last night when she woke I would just pick her up and she would melt in my arms, which is really quite strange for her. She was clearly so tired but something was keeping her up, and I have no idea what.

Anyway, I don't have any advice but I'm right there with you. I feel like I've exhausted all the tricks at my disposal and yet she's sleeping even worse than she did as a newborn. I don't care whether she STTN, I'd just like a nice 6-hour stretch again! I work full time but I'm lucky to have a very flexible job; I can't imagine having 55 hour weeks on this amount of sleep. I feel like death already.

 

[Noelle610]

Elsie was also up EVERY HOUR all night last night! What the heck is going on with these babies?!

I've also given up on CC for the time being. It definitely helped her learn to self-settle for naps (which wasn't the goal at all, lol) but her nighttime sleep is still so screwy I think something else is going on, and I don't think CC is going to help. Last night when she woke I would just pick her up and she would melt in my arms, which is really quite strange for her. She was clearly so tired but something was keeping her up, and I have no idea what.

Anyway, I don't have any advice but I'm right there with you. I feel like I've exhausted all the tricks at my disposal and yet she's sleeping even worse than she did as a newborn. I don't care whether she STTN, I'd just like a nice 6-hour stretch again! I work full time but I'm lucky to have a very flexible job; I can't imagine having 55 hour weeks on this amount of sleep. I feel like death already.

Bananaz! Why do our babies do this to us? I know you had those nice long 8 hour stretches at one point, too. It makes it that much more confusing because you feel like, "I know YOU can do this!".

I've had that experience with Charlie too... It's as if she WANTS to be asleep, but something is waking her. I can't quite explain it.

I too have given up on STTN. 6 hours would be heaven! As a newborn, you kind of expect this (well, I didn't, but I was incredibly unprepared and naive for the reality of a baby). I think what is hard for me is comparing myself to others. Every newborn is waking pretty frequently, but at 5.5 months old all of my mom friends' babies are beginning to make progress toward STTN and we've gone backwards.

 

[bananaz]

Bananaz! Why do our babies do this to us? I know you had those nice long 8 hour stretches at one point, too. It makes it that much more confusing because you feel like, "I know YOU can do this!".

I've had that experience with Charlie too... It's as if she WANTS to be asleep, but something is waking her. I can't quite explain it.

I too have given up on STTN. 6 hours would be heaven! As a newborn, you kind of expect this (well, I didn't, but I was incredibly unprepared and naive for the reality of a baby). I think what is hard for me is comparing myself to others. Every newborn is waking pretty frequently, but at 5.5 months old all of my mom friends' babies are beginning to make progress toward STTN and we've gone backwards.

Yep, there were several weeks of 8+ hour nights for us (and even a couple 10 hour nights!). It was bliss. My biggest fear is that I'll be looking back on this time a year from now saying "And from then on, she never slept more than 3 hours in a row."

Let's hope this is all a Wonder Week thing and by the end of week 26 they'll understand distances or cause and effect or whatever it is and then start STTN!

 

[Shoogle]

If I hear ds before dh I just wake him up and tell him its his hours lol. My sil has an easy baby who sttn since 3 weeks and she complains all the time. She even went back to work when my nephew was 5 weeks old because she cant handle it! Lol.

 

[Noelle610]

Bananaz! Why do our babies do this to us? I know you had those nice long 8 hour stretches at one point, too. It makes it that much more confusing because you feel like, "I know YOU can do this!".

I've had that experience with Charlie too... It's as if she WANTS to be asleep, but something is waking her. I can't quite explain it.

I too have given up on STTN. 6 hours would be heaven! As a newborn, you kind of expect this (well, I didn't, but I was incredibly unprepared and naive for the reality of a baby). I think what is hard for me is comparing myself to others. Every newborn is waking pretty frequently, but at 5.5 months old all of my mom friends' babies are beginning to make progress toward STTN and we've gone backwards.

Yep, there were several weeks of 8+ hour nights for us (and even a couple 10 hour nights!). It was bliss. My biggest fear is that I'll be looking back on this time a year from now saying "And from then on, she never slept more than 3 hours in a row."

Let's hope this is all a Wonder Week thing and by the end of week 26 they'll understand distances or cause and effect or whatever it is and then start STTN!

ME TOO! I met a woman the other day who told me her child didn't sleep through the night until he was 5 or something insane like that. I don't think I could hide the look of horror on my face.

Charlotte did roll from belly to back for the first time consistently today... she can't stop doing it. So I do wonder if there's a connection. It's so hard with these Wonder Weeks because they get these "hidden" skills too. Their little brains are on fire!

I can't hep feeling like it's "my turn" for STTN. But then my husband reminds me that the single mom working 3 jobs with a baby who is up all night probably feels the same and then I feel guilty!

 

[MrsPMP]

Noelle, we meet again!..and again our babies are identical!! Elijah is waking every 2 hrs, and this week for the first time ever NOT going back down for an hour or so at around 3am. I have a feeling that part of it is the start of seperation anxiety-so have bought a bed guard so i can co sleep with him when I get sick of taking him back to bed...we are also now trying the pick up put down sleep method...tried all the rest!..including CC...like you-worked for a couple days then got worse!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Hang in there Noelle sorry I've got no advice. I'm so nervous about Mia learning to roll and it affecting her sleep. I feel pretty lucky with 2-3 wake ups at the moment. I can't imagine how tough it is working while you feel like that either

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle, we meet again!..and again our babies are identical!! Elijah is waking every 2 hrs, and this week for the first time ever NOT going back down for an hour or so at around 3am. I have a feeling that part of it is the start of seperation anxiety-so have bought a bed guard so i can co sleep with him when I get sick of taking him back to bed...we are also now trying the pick up put down sleep method...tried all the rest!..including CC...like you-worked for a couple days then got worse!

Were our babies calling each other on the phone at 3am the other night?! It's like the "party time" hour! Good luck with PU/PD! Would love to know how it goes. I do hope you both get some rest soon.

 

[Noelle610]

Hang in there Noelle sorry I've got no advice. I'm so nervous about Mia learning to roll and it affecting her sleep. I feel pretty lucky with 2-3 wake ups at the moment. I can't imagine how tough it is working while you feel like that either

Oh gosh, that darn rolling! 2-3 wake ups isn't bad, especially when LO is learning a new skill! Charlotte learned to roll back to tummy and we went through weeks of my rushing into her room to "rescue" her since she would cry when she woke that way. I'm happy to report she is finally getting comfortable on her tummy.

Today she rolled belly to back for the first time consistently. That's all she wants to do today! I'm now wondering if there's a connection between this new skill and her poor sleep last night. It's always something with these kids!

 

[hubblybubbly]

I also can't see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.

Willow stopped sleeping through ( she was doing 10/12 hours at a time) at about 5 months...I thought it was a regression an we'd get through it in a few weeks, but no she still wakes 10 odd times a night,and sometimes I feel like a zombie, and that it will never end.

I heard another mum with a baby a similar age talking t her friends in a restaurant yesterday say "he sleeps 11 hours a night, but I'm so tired he used to do at least 13..." honestly I nearly strangled her....

X

 

[Noelle610]

I also can't see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes.

Willow stopped sleeping through ( she was doing 10/12 hours at a time) at about 5 months...I thought it was a regression an we'd get through it in a few weeks, but no she still wakes 10 odd times a night,and sometimes I feel like a zombie, and that it will never end.

I heard another mum with a baby a similar age talking t her friends in a restaurant yesterday say "he sleeps 11 hours a night, but I'm so tired he used to do at least 13..." honestly I nearly strangled her....

X

UGH I would have been so irritated! A woman in my moms' group has a baby that sleeps through most nights, but will wake around 4am on the odd night. She always complains about it and it drives me nuts.

I hope you get some rest soon.

 

[mrsbeano]

Me too. Quinn slept through for the grand total of 9 nights and has now stopped, although last night was a vast improvement as he slept until 5.30 he took an hour and 15 to resettle. I really feel he trying to taunt me sometimes... he slept through whilst his Dad was on holiday for a week and as soon as he goes back to work he promptly stops again.

I try to not get upset and jealous about it but I can't. Truly dreading going back to work in January as I don't think he will be giving me enough sleep to function. I swear that all the other babies we know slept through from before 10 weeks old. I just wish someone could tell me what to do or where I have gone wrong.

 

[Noelle610]

Me too. Quinn slept through for the grand total of 9 nights and has now stopped, although last night was a vast improvement as he slept until 5.30 he took an hour and 15 to resettle. I really feel he trying to taunt me sometimes... he slept through whilst his Dad was on holiday for a week and as soon as he goes back to work he promptly stops again.

I try to not get upset and jealous about it but I can't. Truly dreading going back to work in January as I don't think he will be giving me enough sleep to function. I swear that all the other babies we know slept through from before 10 weeks old. I just wish someone could tell me what to do or where I have gone wrong.

What a tease! If he's done it so many times though, I'm sure he will do it again.

Truly, you've done nothing wrong! All babies are different. A good friend of mine has a baby that has slept through the night from 6 weeks. In fact, she was born on the same day as Charlotte in the same hospital! She and her husband have done everything "wrong" from feeding to sleep to driving the baby around in the car to get her to sleep. For some reason, their LO has no issues with sleep associations or transitioning through sleep cycles without parental assistance. It goes against all of the "expert" advice. It just must be her temperament. They got lucky!

Don't worry too much about work. Although it's been very difficult doing my job on little sleep, there are times when I find it easier than caring for a baby. The break can help too, especially when you are exhausted. Even when I come home at the end of the day and am dead tired, I somehow find the energy to engage with LO and really be present during her bedtime routine. That's our time together.

Quinn will sleep through again soon, don't you worry! Another girlfriend of mine's baby did the same thing... She took a hiatus from sleeping through and started waking 1-3 times a night for a couple weeks, but she just went right back to her old STTN ways after the blip.

 

[Serenity_Now]

I was speaking with a client the other day who was encouraging. He told me his first child slept through the night at 6 weeks. He thought it was because they had a great routine and he was doing something right. He parented the next baby in exactly the same way... and he didn't sleep through the night until he was well over a year old and even then it wasn't consistent. He basically, said "All kids are different and you're doing nothing wrong". That helps to hear.

THIS. Oh so totally this. Babies are such individuals. We think that it's because we've done this or that style or routine or theory because thinking that makes us mommies feel better: we have the illusion of having some control over the uncontrollable. Even so that sometimes it will get us on a soapbox, because we want to "help others have success like ours!" Not that routines are unimportant -- some babies crave them while others will break the routine just because they can.

Whenever someone asks a "what should I do" thread... I always just relate my experience because honestly, I do not have your baby, I do not know your baby, so I really cannot tell you what to do. All I can tell you is what works for my baby and hope that somehow, you might see something in it that relates somehow to your baby's wants/needs/personality.

 

[polaris]

Noelle610 - i know how you feel, my boy is nearly 8 months old and at first he was doing great at sleeping. He got to 6 months old and it all went downhill. He wakes up every night almost every hour on the dot, i don't know how he does it. He just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I also feel like that im losing it .

I just don't know what has happened. There is no difference in his bedtime time routine. Im just hoping it gets better

It's so frustrating when you just can't figure it out! If I knew the "why" of it, I think it would be easier to cope.

For me, quite honestly, I think I just have a "bad" (hate to use that term) sleeper. I know it just comes more naturally to some babies. When I accept it, it's easier. I truly struggle more when I'm looking for the solution and nothing works.

I was speaking with a client the other day who was encouraging. He told me his first child slept through the night at 6 weeks. He thought it was because they had a great routine and he was doing something right. He parented the next baby in exactly the same way... and he didn't sleep through the night until he was well over a year old and even then it wasn't consistent. He basically, said "All kids are different and you're doing nothing wrong". That helps to hear.

This is pretty much what I was going to say to you. My son wasn't a great sleeper and I was constantly exhausted. He never slept much during the day, was awake until after midnight until he was about three months old, woke every hour during the night for feeds, etc. My new baby is a much better sleeper - she's not sleeping through but at 11 weeks she already sleeps pretty solidly from 6.30 to 6.30, just waking very briefly for feeds. It's nothing you are doing wrong - babies are just different. Everything that didn't work with Thomas works perfectly with Clara. She's just predisposed to sleep better I think. She sleeps much more during the day too.

Just to give you some (long-term) hope, Thomas is an excellent sleeper as a toddler, at three he sleeps 12 hours through the night and has a 1-1.5 hour nap during the day too. We very rarely have to go into him at night unless he's not well. He slept through the night from 9 months, had a regression for a couple of months after I went back to work when he was 11 months, and has slept through consistently from about 14 months. So just because you have a "bad sleeper" as a baby, it doesn't mean it will always be this way.

 

[Noelle610]

I was speaking with a client the other day who was encouraging. He told me his first child slept through the night at 6 weeks. He thought it was because they had a great routine and he was doing something right. He parented the next baby in exactly the same way... and he didn't sleep through the night until he was well over a year old and even then it wasn't consistent. He basically, said "All kids are different and you're doing nothing wrong". That helps to hear.

THIS. Oh so totally this. Babies are such individuals. We think that it's because we've done this or that style or routine or theory because thinking that makes us mommies feel better: we have the illusion of having some control over the uncontrollable. Even so that sometimes it will get us on a soapbox, because we want to "help others have success like ours!" Not that routines are unimportant -- some babies crave them while others will break the routine just because they can.

Whenever someone asks a "what should I do" thread... I always just relate my experience because honestly, I do not have your baby, I do not know your baby, so I really cannot tell you what to do. All I can tell you is what works for my baby and hope that somehow, you might see something in it that relates somehow to your baby's wants/needs/personality.

So true. I do think there is an illusion of control. Honestly, had my baby been a great sleeper I probably would have felt I had done something right, being that I've read all of these books. If your baby has a problem with sleeping, I can probably give you great advice

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle610 - i know how you feel, my boy is nearly 8 months old and at first he was doing great at sleeping. He got to 6 months old and it all went downhill. He wakes up every night almost every hour on the dot, i don't know how he does it. He just doesn't seem to want to sleep. I also feel like that im losing it .

I just don't know what has happened. There is no difference in his bedtime time routine. Im just hoping it gets better

It's so frustrating when you just can't figure it out! If I knew the "why" of it, I think it would be easier to cope.

For me, quite honestly, I think I just have a "bad" (hate to use that term) sleeper. I know it just comes more naturally to some babies. When I accept it, it's easier. I truly struggle more when I'm looking for the solution and nothing works.

I was speaking with a client the other day who was encouraging. He told me his first child slept through the night at 6 weeks. He thought it was because they had a great routine and he was doing something right. He parented the next baby in exactly the same way... and he didn't sleep through the night until he was well over a year old and even then it wasn't consistent. He basically, said "All kids are different and you're doing nothing wrong". That helps to hear.

This is pretty much what I was going to say to you. My son wasn't a great sleeper and I was constantly exhausted. He never slept much during the day, was awake until after midnight until he was about three months old, woke every hour during the night for feeds, etc. My new baby is a much better sleeper - she's not sleeping through but at 11 weeks she already sleeps pretty solidly from 6.30 to 6.30, just waking very briefly for feeds. It's nothing you are doing wrong - babies are just different. Everything that didn't work with Thomas works perfectly with Clara. She's just predisposed to sleep better I think. She sleeps much more during the day too.

Just to give you some (long-term) hope, Thomas is an excellent sleeper as a toddler, at three he sleeps 12 hours through the night and has a 1-1.5 hour nap during the day too. We very rarely have to go into him at night unless he's not well. He slept through the night from 9 months, had a regression for a couple of months after I went back to work when he was 11 months, and has slept through consistently from about 14 months. So just because you have a "bad sleeper" as a baby, it doesn't mean it will always be this way.

Thank you for your experience. Truthfully, I love long-term hope! I have kind of given up on the short-term, anyway

I've had multiple women tell me that their poor sleeping/fussy babies have become great sleeping/lovely toddlers For now I'm dropping any serious attempts to make her sleep and just loving her. Hopefully she feels secure enough to STTN at some point!

 

[MrsPear]

We are in the same boat. Joni has had the occasional great week where she has only woken up twice in the night, but she can easily wake up every 2 hours for the first half of the night and then every hour for the second half. Last night she was up at about 4am for the day. It feels so miserable doesn't it. I think the worst thing is when people try to offer advice and I feel like a failure because it's almost like I'm bringing it on myself by not doing the 'right' things. Of course most people who do offer advice are very well meaning so I don't say anything, but I do just get really sensitive that people think I'm making it up or that I could so easily avoid the night time problems if I tried a bit harder.

We will get through this! It is really hard but the fact that our babies have had better periods of sleep is a good sign that they will slip back into it again! That's what I keep thinking anyway, it keeps me sane

Big hugs to you, I am really on the same page and I do understand. In fact, I have just spent 45 minutes rocking Joni and she finally fell asleep for a nap...then five minute later and PING! Her eyes are wide open and she is now batting at toys in her bumbo. What a nightmare getting some babies to sleep is. We will get there in the end though