Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

We are in the same boat. Joni has had the occasional great week where she has only woken up twice in the night, but she can easily wake up every 2 hours for the first half of the night and then every hour for the second half. Last night she was up at about 4am for the day. It feels so miserable doesn't it. I think the worst thing is when people try to offer advice and I feel like a failure because it's almost like I'm bringing it on myself by not doing the 'right' things. Of course most people who do offer advice are very well meaning so I don't say anything, but I do just get really sensitive that people think I'm making it up or that I could so easily avoid the night time problems if I tried a bit harder.

We will get through this! It is really hard but the fact that our babies have had better periods of sleep is a good sign that they will slip back into it again! That's what I keep thinking anyway, it keeps me sane

Big hugs to you, I am really on the same page and I do understand. In fact, I have just spent 45 minutes rocking Joni and she finally fell asleep for a nap...then five minute later and PING! Her eyes are wide open and she is now batting at toys in her bumbo. What a nightmare getting some babies to sleep is. We will get there in the end though

I was up early today too. Fun fun! Nothing says "good morning" quite like a smiley baby at 4am

I hear you on the well-meaning advice givers. If one more person asks if I have a bedtime routine I might cry.

 

[bananaz]

How did last night go? Better I hope?

Also, do you have a bedtime routine? haha

 

[stephj25]

I feel your pain!! I'm in exactly the same boat, a couple of days after Olivia hit 23 weeks, she has been waking up every hour, last night she went for 2 hours up until 4am then every hour!!
I have the 'wonder weeks' book and it says it starts around 23 weeks an lasts between 1-5 weeks. My LO is teething too which doesn't help as she keeps screaming.
Hopefully it will be over for us very soon
xxxx

 

[Noelle610]

How did last night go? Better I hope?

Also, do you have a bedtime routine? haha

You!!!

Last night was much better, in fact... until the early morning!

Charlotte had great naps and went to bed early - around 6:15pm. She actually slept until 1am!!! DH said he heard her briefly stir at 9:30pm for 5 minutes or so, but I must have been dead asleep because I didn't wake (he was off today, so on duty for the early part of the evening... even so, I usually wake when she does). She then got up again at 4:30am. Still going good. But then I decided to change her diaper and she had a stuffy nose. I think these two things combined really woke her and she decided she was up for the day. I tried to soothe her to no avail and finally got up with her at 5:30am. Still, much better than yesterday.

She's super unpredictable, though, so tonight we could be back to waking hourly!

 

[Noelle610]

I feel your pain!! I'm in exactly the same boat, a couple of days after Olivia hit 23 weeks, she has been waking up every hour, last night she went for 2 hours up until 4am then every hour!!
I have the 'wonder weeks' book and it says it starts around 23 weeks an lasts between 1-5 weeks. My LO is teething too which doesn't help as she keeps screaming.
Hopefully it will be over for us very soon
xxxx

Wonder Weeks has been pretty spot-on for my LO too! WW 26's fussy period does indeed start at week 23. Here's hoping we both see some better sleep when they come out of this phase. It's tough because WW 19 and 26 are soo close together. I spoke with a "sleep coach" recently and she basically said 4-6 months is one huge Wonder Week.

 

[Noelle610]

To make matters worse, I used to have a buddy with a baby that slept worse than mine. She was up every 90 minutes during the 4 month sleep regression. BUT.... this baby recently started STTN, 11 hours straight out of nowhere! NO FAIR!

 

[stephj25]

I don't remember WW19 being this bad, there was only a couple of nights of waking every hour.
I know what you mean about friends babies STTN. I have one friend that constantly brags (her LO sleeps 12 hours straight) every time I mention sleep problems ....because that is what you want to hear!

 

[bananaz]

You!!!

Last night was much better, in fact... until the early morning!

Charlotte had great naps and went to bed early - around 6:15pm. She actually slept until 1am!!! DH said he heard her briefly stir at 9:30pm for 5 minutes or so, but I must have been dead asleep because I didn't wake (he was off today, so on duty for the early part of the evening... even so, I usually wake when she does). She then got up again at 4:30am. Still going good. But then I decided to change her diaper and she had a stuffy nose. I think these two things combined really woke her and she decided she was up for the day. I tried to soothe her to no avail and finally got up with her at 5:30am. Still, much better than yesterday.

She's super unpredictable, though, so tonight we could be back to waking hourly!

Wow, 6:15pm to 4:30am is pretty amazing! Good job Charlotte The early morning wakeup is a bummer though. Elsie's been getting up between 4:30 and 5am the past few days, but this morning I convinced her to stay down until almost 6am. A small victory

 

[Noelle610]

You!!!

Last night was much better, in fact... until the early morning!

Charlotte had great naps and went to bed early - around 6:15pm. She actually slept until 1am!!! DH said he heard her briefly stir at 9:30pm for 5 minutes or so, but I must have been dead asleep because I didn't wake (he was off today, so on duty for the early part of the evening... even so, I usually wake when she does). She then got up again at 4:30am. Still going good. But then I decided to change her diaper and she had a stuffy nose. I think these two things combined really woke her and she decided she was up for the day. I tried to soothe her to no avail and finally got up with her at 5:30am. Still, much better than yesterday.

She's super unpredictable, though, so tonight we could be back to waking hourly!

Wow, 6:15pm to 4:30am is pretty amazing! Good job Charlotte The early morning wakeup is a bummer though. Elsie's been getting up between 4:30 and 5am the past few days, but this morning I convinced her to stay down until almost 6am. A small victory

It's the little things that count! I sent DH out for 12 Hour Pampers Baby Dry, so hopefully we've solved the changing problem.

 

[Boo44]

Uuuurgh I didn't realise there was another WW starting at 23 weeks?! That's only 3 weeks away and we're just in/maybe getting over(?!) the WW19 one!

 

[Noelle610]

Uuuurgh I didn't realise there was another WW starting at 23 weeks?! That's only 3 weeks away and we're just in/maybe getting over(?!) the WW19 one!

I know - they are SO close together! But this one is much shorter and less painful for most

 

[AllyTiel]

Call me a bad mom, but I need sleep so much that when my baby wakes (After being changed and resettled all comfy) I put her back and let her fuss until she goes back to sleep. She always goes back to sleep like she needs, even if it takes 30 mins or more. I just can't stay up with her if she decides its playtime at 1:30am. She had been sleeping so good since she was a month old, and now she has started waking out of nowhere! And Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long. I don't know if there is something wrong with me, my maternal instinct lacking or something? I can let her fuss herself back to sleep. (Although I must say last time I really had the urge to go get her and pull her into bed with me. OH wouldnt have allowed though) I just see so many women saying they can't let their LO's cry. I saw recently on the the news that scientists may have discovered the gene that makes you a maternal woman or not. I wonder if Im missing that gene :/

BTW Noelle, your profile pic really reminds me of my LO. She even has the same toy lol

 

[stephj25]

How was last night Noelle? I woke up around 6 times which is an improvement on the night before!

 

[MiniKiwi]

Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long.

Are you sure your LO isn't waking to be fed? Just because she didn't need feeding before, doesn't mean she isn't hungry at night now. My LO used to sttn, some nights she still will do that and others she will wake to feed up to four times. Just saying, I think it is very important to rule out hunger as a cause for her waking.

 

[stephj25]

Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long.

Are you sure your LO isn't waking to be fed? Just because she didn't need feeding before, doesn't mean she isn't hungry at night now. My LO used to sttn, some nights she still will do that and others she will wake to feed up to four times. Just saying, I think it is very important to rule out hunger as a cause for her waking.

I agree with this. My LO didn't used to wake this much and she guzzles my milk down every time. Also, if I wake up hungry I can still go back to sleep....
my LO never cries in the night either, she just kinda grunts. But even then, I give it a max of 15 mins before feeding her. X

 

[Noelle610]

Call me a bad mom, but I need sleep so much that when my baby wakes (After being changed and resettled all comfy) I put her back and let her fuss until she goes back to sleep. She always goes back to sleep like she needs, even if it takes 30 mins or more. I just can't stay up with her if she decides its playtime at 1:30am. She had been sleeping so good since she was a month old, and now she has started waking out of nowhere! And Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long. I don't know if there is something wrong with me, my maternal instinct lacking or something? I can let her fuss herself back to sleep. (Although I must say last time I really had the urge to go get her and pull her into bed with me. OH wouldnt have allowed though) I just see so many women saying they can't let their LO's cry. I saw recently on the the news that scientists may have discovered the gene that makes you a maternal woman or not. I wonder if Im missing that gene :/

BTW Noelle, your profile pic really reminds me of my LO. She even has the same toy lol

Oh no, you are not a bad mom! I have no problem letting my LO fuss for a bit to put herself to sleep. And she's usually pretty good at that, even if she does wake. I think teaching a baby to sleep is an important skill. That's why the other night was so strange! It's very odd for her to be just awake in the middle of the night.

You are so lucky your LO has been STTN for some time now! I must admit I'm jealous It's important for moms to get their rest. I feel I am just so much more present and engaged when I get sleep.

Thanks! These girls are just so darn cute, aren't they?

 

[Noelle610]

How was last night Noelle? I woke up around 6 times which is an improvement on the night before!

So glad you had a better night! Things were vastly better for us too. Charlotte woke at midnight and 3am for feeds and is still sleeping at 5:45am! Like I said before, sleep through the night isn't even really the goal here. I just want us both to get some solid blocks of sleep.

Unfortunately the poor thing could barely eat at 3am because her nose was so stuffy. I can't believe she slept so well considering she doesn't feel well at the moment.

 

[Noelle610]

Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long.

Are you sure your LO isn't waking to be fed? Just because she didn't need feeding before, doesn't mean she isn't hungry at night now. My LO used to sttn, some nights she still will do that and others she will wake to feed up to four times. Just saying, I think it is very important to rule out hunger as a cause for her waking.

I agree with this. My LO didn't used to wake this much and she guzzles my milk down every time. Also, if I wake up hungry I can still go back to sleep....
my LO never cries in the night either, she just kinda grunts. But even then, I give it a max of 15 mins before feeding her. X

I think it's such a tough call to make. On one hand, you want to feed a hungry baby, but on the other hand, you don't want to encourage night feeding out of habit rather than necessity (unless you enjoy it, which is fine). Different sources say different things - Ferber insists a baby doesn't need to be fed at night after 3 months while Weissbluth says breastfed babies may need 2 night feeds until 9 months. Both of these experts are actually fairly similar in their approaches to sleep, but they disagree greatly on these points.

I made an attempt to night wean my LO a few weeks ago, but I got the sense she wasn't ready. We just started on solids and she had really severe reflux as a young baby, so I don't want to go there quite yet if she still needs her calories. I'm also aware that there is a HUGE growth spurt at 6 months and she may need to eat more in the night at that time. I think that's the last major one, if I'm correct? At LO's 6 month checkup I'll discuss this with her doctor and if she's ready, we'll go ahead and slowly/gently cut out the night feeds.

 

[MrsPear]

Call me a bad mom, but I need sleep so much that when my baby wakes (After being changed and resettled all comfy) I put her back and let her fuss until she goes back to sleep. She always goes back to sleep like she needs, even if it takes 30 mins or more. I just can't stay up with her if she decides its playtime at 1:30am. She had been sleeping so good since she was a month old, and now she has started waking out of nowhere! And Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long. I don't know if there is something wrong with me, my maternal instinct lacking or something? I can let her fuss herself back to sleep. (Although I must say last time I really had the urge to go get her and pull her into bed with me. OH wouldnt have allowed though) I just see so many women saying they can't let their LO's cry. I saw recently on the the news that scientists may have discovered the gene that makes you a maternal woman or not. I wonder if Im missing that gene :/

BTW Noelle, your profile pic really reminds me of my LO. She even has the same toy lol

Oh no, you are not a bad mom! I have no problem letting my LO fuss for a bit to put herself to sleep. And she's usually pretty good at that, even if she does wake. I think teaching a baby to sleep is an important skill. That's why the other night was so strange! It's very odd for her to be just awake in the middle of the night.

You are so lucky your LO has been STTN for some time now! I must admit I'm jealous It's important for moms to get their rest. I feel I am just so much more present and engaged when I get sleep.

Thanks! These girls are just so darn cute, aren't they?

I always let Joni fuss away at night, I get her out the second she cries but probably 50% of the time she will fall asleep after 30 mins or so of batting her mobile and squawking. I don't think she;s actually unhappy so I just leave her to it. Can't sleep through it but it's still relaxing to be curled up in bed!

Joni was up at 4:30 again but I did manage to get her back to sleep on me so I just lay and chilled PLUS we both went back to bed at 8 and she fed/slept till 10 so I can't complain.

I think I'm being unfair on her because her sleeping is not actually that bad, she usually wakes up 3 times and that's fine. The problem is more that she never stops pooping, she can't go a whole night without one or two nappy changes and without fail it completely wakes her up and it's the getting her back into a deep sleep that's the struggle. I'm pretty sure her sleeping would not be so bad otherwise . x

 

[AllyTiel]

Im not going to get in the habit of feeding her when she hasn't needed feeding in the night in so long.

Are you sure your LO isn't waking to be fed? Just because she didn't need feeding before, doesn't mean she isn't hungry at night now. My LO used to sttn, some nights she still will do that and others she will wake to feed up to four times. Just saying, I think it is very important to rule out hunger as a cause for her waking.

I have to try and use good mommy judgement here. Like when she went to bed at 8:30pm and woke at 4:30am, I went ahead and fed her, because she had slept a really long stretch and might have been hungry. But more recently when she woke at 1:30, I didn't feed her. Based on when she last ate which hadn't been too long ago. Also when I put her back to bed, I listen to what her cry sounds like. If its a grizzly fuss like "I don't wanna be here, I want to be up playing", then I leave her to go back to sleep. If it was a hunger cry or a pain cry, it would be a different story.
I do understand she may go through a 4 month sleep regression soon and may be hungry in the night. I'll take that into account also.