Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Shadowy Lady]

Twister - have you tried any kinda sleep training? We did Ferber with our LO and after one rough nights, things improved significantly. Your LO is old enough to do sleep training now and they key is being consistent whatever method you chose and you need your hubby's help. I don't know if you're against sleep training or not but in my experience babies tend to cry less in the end coz they sleep better and moms are happier too.

Seaweed - Sofia started sleeping through once she figured out how to sleep on her tummy. She also dropped her night feeds around the same time (she was just a day over 6 months). Like I was telling Twister above CC works if you're consistent. I personally liked Ferber because of his interval checks (we did 1min, 3 mins, 5 mins and then 10 mins....we never had to go over 10 mins she always fell asleep and it took 2 nights).

I have an interview tomorrow and feeling the sleep anxiety kicking in. I haven't taken an Ativan in over a week and Sofia has slept through the last 3 nights but I will still take one tonight. I need to be well rested for this.

 

[Twister]

I am seriously considering doing cc at some point, I wanted to wait a month or two but I don't think I can handle her crying so much EVERY time she goes to sleep, it's not good for any of us. Need to talk to oh about it first and do a bit more research on how to do it properly I think.

 

[Noelle610]

My daughter slept... wait for it... 0 minutes today! So I know she got up a little late and I thought she would skip the morning nap, but she wouldn't nap at all! I wonder what tonight will bring.

 

[Noelle610]

I am seriously considering doing cc at some point, I wanted to wait a month or two but I don't think I can handle her crying so much EVERY time she goes to sleep, it's not good for any of us. Need to talk to oh about it first and do a bit more research on how to do it properly I think.

I highly recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" if you're science minded. It's long, but you can just read the chapter on 5-12 month olds.

"Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" - Ferber's book - often gets a bad rap, but he's really an expert.

Both of these men are pediatricians who run/ran sleep clinics, so even if you don't go the sleep training route they may be helpful reads.

 

[Noelle610]

I have an interview tomorrow and feeling the sleep anxiety kicking in. I haven't taken an Ativan in over a week and Sofia has slept through the last 3 nights but I will still take one tonight. I need to be well rested for this.

Good luck hun! Do what you need to do

 

[Twister]

Thanks, I might check those books out.

Oh is away on a stag do next weekend as well so he won't be able to take over when I need a breather. Wasn't too fussed when we first knew he was going but now I'm dreading it. How am I going to cope???

 

[seaweed eater]

Shadowy - thanks hon. I don't want to do straight CC at the moment, not because I don't think it would work, but because LO is clearly a very persistent baby who will protest any change really hard, so I want to proceed gently enough that I know for sure I can be perfectly consistent. I have some ambivalence about CC and CIO so I just don't want to put myself in a situation where I might be tempted to cut it short, because I know that would make things worse. We may well do CC sometime later though. DH is all for it. It's great to hear that it worked such a treat for you Good luck with your interview!!

Twister - my understanding is that at this age they are sometimes tired out of habit rather than because they actually need sleep. I know my own experience with my LO lately has been that he just will not sleep, for example, less than 2.5 hours after waking up in the morning, even if he's yawning. I know it seems really counterintuitive to try to keep them awake for longer when you've been worried about overtiredness for the first 5 months. But, personally, I would try it. If it's a disaster (and it may well be) you can always stop.

We would certainly support you if you choose to use CC I didn't think I would be doing any kind of sleep training for a while. It seems like the ladies in this thread have used all kinds of approaches and certainly everyone seems very supportive of different styles.

Noelle - wow! I'll be curious to hear how tonight goes!

 

[Twister]

Thanks seaweed. I am going to try keeping her awake longer today, I'll update on how it goes!

 

[VikkiD]

Things were going great without the dummy but now we have another problem he keeps rolling on his tum up the top end of his cot then moans so I go running in put him back down his cot an on his back an then he will do it again. 5 times in total last night from 11.30. Any advice on what I can do?

 

[Noelle610]

Vikki, you can either flip him or let him fuss it out, but either way that phase passes.

Our night was eh. Charlotte was clearly overtired from 0 minutes of daytime sleep and she woke frequently for 30 seconds throughout the night. I didn't have to get up since she settled herself quickly, but my sleep was very broken. Oh well. Hopefully she naps today! I got her up at 6:30am and didn't let her sleep in.

 

[mellyboo]

We have discovered something..

Jordyn only sleeps good on the weekends when OH is home and on the weekends she doesn't get as much sleep.

Her morning nap is the same and her bed time routine is ALWAYS the same but her mid day she doesn't get as much sleep as she would with me being home all day and not doing much.

I think I need to cut her down to 2 naps a day and try to keep her up and see how we do..

Because she was waking up once from 730(pretty much to 7am) ... and now that the week is back it's every flipping hour again.

OH is home on Thursday night friday night and sat night this week because i go for surgery on thurs.

He will obviously do all the night wakings and watch she will only wake up once, he prob wonders if im making this up ...her getting up every hour lol

If she isn't better by mid June OH is on vacation from work and were putting in a sleep training program in the works if she keeps waking up like she is now.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Noelle - I cannot believe C didn't nap at all! Well, as long as she sleeps well at night. I always prefer crappy nap over crappy night sleep.

Seaweed - We didn't do CC for night feed, she dropped them on her own. We did it for weaning off the soother earlier (around 4.5 months or so). I was surprised she night weaned herself and delighted. Good luck to you tonight

Last night Sofia sttn from 6:30 pm to 7 am which was nice. I think I heard her shuffle around 4 am but I'm not really sure lol! Either way it didn't wake me up all the way...I also ended up going without sleep meds which worked out Did a core fitness class and will get ready to go to my interview. DH is being very good taking care of Sofia's naps while I go around to meetings.

 

[Twister]

So she's had 2 naps today, both of around 40 minutes in length. The first one I kept up her for around 2.5 hours before she was getting too cranky, I nursed her to sleep and she went down without fuss. The second time she was up for around 2 hours, again becoming increasingly cranky. I managed to settle her in her cot by stroking her head and letting her hold onto my finger. She did fuss a bit but I managed to stop it from escalating. Thinking about putting her down again soon as she's starting to become fussy again.

 

[seaweed eater]

LO didn't want to nurse to sleep last night for some reason...he had a good feed and then was wide awake. It may have been my fault for putting him down a bit too early, but anyway since he didn't want to nurse and didn't seem uncomfortable we went back to the other soothing techniques he fell asleep in 27 minutes! So that's definitely progress! I'm thinking we will try again tonight unless he seems sicker. Thanks again for your support. It made me feel better that several of you said you thought it was ok to keep going.

Twister, that sounds like improvement, right?

Noelle, sorry you didn't have a more restful night. I hope she naps well today. Happy 11 months!

Shadowy, that's awesome about the night weaning. I'm thinking about starting some feeding cutoffs once he's better at settling himself without nursing, if he doesn't drop extra feeds on his own. But I am definitely hoping he will just drop them on his own. Hope your interview today goes/went well!

 

[Twister]

Yes definitely an improvement today. We haven't had any meltdowns! The worst we had was at bedtime, she'd cut the inside of her ear with her fingernail, and then grabbed at her ear whilst in her cot and I guess it hurt because she let out an almighty scream!

Bedtime was ok. I took her up at about 6:30, fed her (which is when she cut her ear but didn't notice, put her in her cot, stood there stroking her head etc. Until about 7:45 when she grabbed at her ear and started screaming, decided the head stroking/self soothing thing wasn't working and fed her until she fell asleep, put her down at about 8 and she's been asleep ever since! Praying for a good night tonight as I really need the rest and so does she. She was so tired at bedtime but just wouldn't doze off, kept lifting her head and smiling at me lol.

 

[Noelle610]

Sounds good Twister... fingers crossed for you hun!

 

[polaris]

Hey everyone.

Clara ended up having a very short catnap this afternoon as both her first two naps were shorter than usual. She went to bed at 7 and hasn't woken up yet. Fingers crossed for a good night tonight! (OT for this thread but I have been trying to wean my 3.5 year old off napping and it really hasn't been going very well, he has basically been an over-tired mess for the past week - yesterday and today I let him have 1.5 hour nap and he was in so much better form. It means he's up a lot later than I would like, 8.45 p.m. today, but at least he seems well-rested and happy. I guess he is just not ready to lose the nap yet. The first couple of days were great, he didn't seem too tired without the nap and went to sleep immediately at bedtime and slept for 13+ hours, but it all went downhill from there. Can't believe I'm still stressing about nap transitions 3.5 years on!!)

Shadowy - hope your interview went well. Fingers crossed for you.

Noelle - Clara has an awful habit of crying out very frequently during the night and I do think it's overtiredness. Not surprising given that she didn't nap at all! Crazy kid!! Hope things are back to normal today and you have a restful night tonight.

Seaweed eater - that is definitely progress with regard to nursing to sleep. Clara doesn't usually nurse to sleep at all anymore, she will turn her head away and then start arching her back looking to go into the cot. I would definitely wait until you are 100% committed before embarking on CC. It's not a cure for everything anyway - Clara's sleeping is 1000% better than before we did CC but it is by no means perfect.

Vikki, Clara does the same thing, she sleeps on her tummy but she crawls up to the top of the cot and then hits her head off the cot bars and cries. Her latest thing is flipping onto her back and crying - although she was sleeping on her back the other morning when I went in to wake her so maybe this phase is gradually passing.

Twister - glad you had a better day and fingers crossed for a good night tonight. I always find it best to keep my expectations low so that if it does turn out to be a good night I'm pleasantly surprised. Anytime I think she is sure to sleep well tonight she usually has a dreadful night just to prove me wrong!

 

[Leids]

I apologize for not getting back to you yet Noelle! He's been self settling AMAZINGLY! It seems like it's only really taken 2 nights of him being really fussy/crying to get him settling. The first night it was about 10-15 minutes of him being upset, the second night was about 5 minutes, and now he just goes right to sleep! Each time I was in bed with him. I really hope that this trend continues and it isn't just a fluke! I feel way too lucky right now.

On an amusing note.. We went to bed tonight, and William couldn't get comfortable. He started shuffling, and fell asleep with his foot right in my face. This is what I get for teaching him how to self settle! Before he would fall asleep all curled up next to me.

Image below. Forgive the creepy eye, it was dark, and I turned my flash on (I'm brave). I had no idea where the camera actually was so got bad placement!

Spoiler

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/nakeli/2013-04-23225212_zps2c9125d6.jpg

 

[bananaz]

I apologize for not getting back to you yet Noelle! He's been self settling AMAZINGLY! It seems like it's only really taken 2 nights of him being really fussy/crying to get him settling. The first night it was about 10-15 minutes of him being upset, the second night was about 5 minutes, and now he just goes right to sleep! Each time I was in bed with him. I really hope that this trend continues and it isn't just a fluke! I feel way too lucky right now.

On an amusing note.. We went to bed tonight, and William couldn't get comfortable. He started shuffling, and fell asleep with his foot right in my face. This is what I get for teaching him how to self settle! Before he would fall asleep all curled up next to me.

Image below. Forgive the creepy eye, it was dark, and I turned my flash on (I'm brave). I had no idea where the camera actually was so got bad placement!

Spoiler

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v635/nakeli/2013-04-23225212_zps2c9125d6.jpg

Hooray for self-settling! And that photo is hilarious. When you write your parenting memoirs that should definitely be on the cover

 

[seaweed eater]

Polaris - I hope your night went well with Clara! I'm sorry about the nap transition issues with your older boy. I can see us being there in three years.

Leids, I'm glad to hear things are going so well!

I'm feeling really really discouraged today. Bedtime crying got worse since yesterday, night wakings are as bad or worse, naps are a disaster. Maybe my expectations were too high but this has just been horrible. Meanwhile my sleep is suffering extra because the emotional intensity keeps me awake. I know we have to try this for at least two more nights and maybe something miraculous will happen but I just feel overwhelmed by having to face more of it, not to mention trying to figure out what to do next if it doesn't work.