Twister
you are definitely not a crap mum. I bet we have all been in that space. I know I certainly have. I actually think I am worse because I end up taking it out on my three year old when Clara won't go to sleep/stop crying which is just beyond unfair. I have had to do so much apologizing to him recently over snapping at him over really silly things that are just getting under my skin because Clara isn't settling and general sleep deprivation. I have snapped at Clara too but at least she doesn't understand although I know obviously she picks up on the tone of voice which is awful. It's just horrible when nothing you do works. That is pretty much the point that we had reached when we did CC with Clara, she was just turning seven months. While I can't say that she is a poster girl for the method (LOL) it did help in that she learned to self settle in the cot and the unbearable nightmare of trying to actually get her to sleep was over (she didn't actually stay asleep but that's another story!). However it was really very difficult and involved a lot of crying and if I'd known in advance how much she would cry and how rubbish her sleep would still be at the end of it... I don't know ... I know I had to do something when I reached that point though because it just wasn't sustainable for me.
Stephie, I agree with seaweed, if you aren't 100% certain about doing it now then it's better to cave quickly rather than going through lots of crying first. I agree that it might not have been any easier when he was younger, some babies can self-settle from a young age and some just can't, I don't think it's anything the parents are doing differently. Usually you get into habits like feeding to sleep/rocking/etc. because that's what your baby needs. If they just lay peacefully in the cot and drifted off then that's what you would do. Anyway it doesn't necessarily mean they will keep self-settling. Clara was a fantastic self-settler up until four months old and never fed to sleep as a newborn. I was so sure that she was going to sleep through the night at a young age. Ha!
Seaweed, sorry you had another long bedtime last night. It's so hard to stick with it when things seem to be going backwards and if you are like me, you start questioning whether it is the right thing to do at all. I worried so much that Clara was going through separation anxiety this past month too. I think that is possibly part of the reason why CC didn't really "stick" for us because I really felt that I needed to be there for her and reassure her and feed her if she wanted it. I don't know. She doesn't show signs of separation anxiety during the day though so I do wonder if maybe it was me who had the separation anxiety rather than her! Does your LO have separation anxiety during the day?
What I have started doing with Clara's lovey (she has a little lamb) is bringing it in as part of the bedtime and naptime routine. Playing a little game with it, getting it "talk" to her, stroking her face and hair with it, and she is also squeezing it as she nurses. I'm hoping this will help her to become a bit more attached to it.
Anyway, as for me, we had an amazing night last night!! There is hope!!! Clara slept from 7.30 right through until almost 1 a.m. (she did stir twice but resettled within ten minutes of moaning, not crying), I fed her at 1 a.m. and she took a good feed and went back to sleep straight away and I didn't hear a peep from her until 6.40 a.m.!!! I'm sure it's just a random good night and she'll be back to normal tomorrow. But it does give me hope that things WILL eventually get better!
and maybe he picked up on that somehow. I think it's something I'll keep doing when I feel a desire to explain things to him.
