Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[seaweed eater]

I'm sorry Twister I know what you mean about feeling stuck at home. I try to remind myself of what happened for us with bedtime, which was that I really made it top priority for about a week or two and then after that it got a little more flexible without throwing everything off. I think investing in the routine until it is well established really pays off. She will become more flexible once she is used to the routine. But it's hard when that takes a long time.

Bedtime was weird today but I knew it would be. We had family portraits done today so unfortunately we had to wake LO in the middle of his afternoon nap (1:45). He refused a catnap afterward so he ended up asleep about an hour early, exhausted. Then, predictably, he woke up crying after 45 mins and was tough to resettle. Asleep again now, knock on wood. I wonder how the early bedtime will affect when he wakes up tomorrow morning.

 

[seaweed eater]

to you Melly! It's frustrating when you are trying to establish a routine and not everyone is on the same page. I hope she goes back down soon.

 

[Twister]

Thanks girls, spending a couple of weeks at home sounds like a great idea, it's just weekends are hard as we always seem to have something on.

 

[mellyboo]

It's like 11 20pm here I haven't even took her out of her crib tho I refuse she's staying in there I tried feeding her she doesn't want a bottle ... She's not crying she's just being hyper in her crib (watching her on the video mointor) .. I feel like some times I'm the only person in my area with a baby who hates sleep.

 

[Twister]

Sometimes I really do feel like just doing flat out CIO because I get so frustrated but I'd feel so mean like I was neglecting her or something. I hate hearing her get upset. If it was just whiney crying I'd probably be ok but it's loud proper crying which is horrible to listen to.

I hate when people ask if she sttn because it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, like they expect that she should be by now so I just answer with "she's getting there". If I say no I usually get a barrage of unwanted advice anyway.

 

[seaweed eater]

I hate the inevitable STTN advice. I guess they mean well but it feels like sooooo much pressure to CC/CIO. It's insane.

Twister, I don't think you should do it if it would make you feel mean. The only reason I've remotely survived this whole experience is that I really truly feel that we are using a gentle enough method that LO is ready to cope with it. And yet I still panic when I hear him cry.
But if you are not committed to CIO, is there a gentler method you would consider? It's not CIO or nothing. For a while I thought it didn't matter to me because as long as he was crying I was opposed to it, but in the end it mattered a lot. This is not meant as advice or pressure BTW, just asking

 

[Twister]

I guess I would be open to them I just worry about having the patience to stick with them iykwim?

She woke 20mins after her 3:30wake up and I did actually leave her to cry as I knew that time there was nothing wrong with her and she stopped after about 5 minutes. I think it was easier because I was half asleep though.

 

[stephie_corin]

Twister we are also stuck at home for naps... And nursing.... I feel like I'm constantly watching the clock and having to excuse myself to rush home for a feed or a sleep as C will do neither when we are out and about. Friends with kids think I am mad but I worry constantly about him getting enough milk and sleep. Usually I am rushing home to fight for half an hour for him to nurse then nap... For half an hour!

I honestly thought we would be rushing around socialising and my little sidekick would sleep peacefully in his stroller or carrier... The reality is very different! Once we had guests here from overseas and we went out for lunch over his nap/feed time. He was about four months old and didn't feed or sleep for 6 hours no matter how much I tried!

Its tough but soon enough they will be little toddlers running around and won't need us anywhere near as much.

Big hugs to you.

We had a pretty average night. 5+ wake ups between 11-530 am.

Hoping for a better night tonight. We are continuing on our two nap schedule but he only had three milk feeds yesterday in the day. I think thats a subject for another post though! Lol! X

 

[polaris]

We had another pretty good night! Only one feed at about 1.30ish, I did have to go in to her a couple of times but I didn't have to take her out of the cot, she just resettled really quickly when she heard my voice which was a bit miraculous to be honest!! Up until now going in to her has usually intensified the crying as she expects to be picked up and nursed!

Twister, we were always stuck at home for naps for my older boy. I really hoped things would be different this time and I really really tried to get Clara to nap on the go in the pram or in the sling. It just wasn't happening and that was one of the reasons she got so overtired I think, she will only ever nap for about 15 to 20 minutes when we are out and about, she doesn't get cranky when she's tired but it's obviously not enough sleep for her because when we are at home she naps for two hours. It's hard with a toddler too because obviously he needs to get out and about but I'm lucky that OH is at home some days so he can stay with Clara for her morning nap while I get out with Thomas. Also having everything ready and literally walking out the door as soon as I get her up from her nap. But we are stuck at home a lot at the moment. I just remind myself that it's not forever but it is frustrating. DS never really became more flexible with his routine to be honest (but he wasn't a very flexible baby), I just got very used to working around it. It does get much easier when they drop to one nap.

 

[Twister]

Glad I'm not alone on that one. It seems everyone else is always out and about with their little ones.

 

[Noelle610]

Twister, I totally sympathize. I always felt like I was doing something wrong too!

In terms of CC/CIO, some kids just do better with straight CIO. These are the babies that find their parents presence stimulating. It also tends to work faster and it's easier to be consistent with. If you decide to go that route, I think it's fine - I'm don't think it would cause Jessica to feel abandoned.

 

[mellyboo]

Oh twister... I'm ready to go flat out cry it out seriously

She's not hungry half the time i offer she refuse's she thinks it's play time, she is soooo excited to see either OH and I walk in the room she is pretty near shaking out of her crib.

Last night i almost got the point of "Your just going to have to cry"... she finally fell asleep around 12 20 and woke up 4 times until 730 when she was up for the day.

what a frigging night.. argh.

Me and OH are letting each other catch up on sleep this morning then will go for a family drive nice part is ( she wont sleep in the car anymore anyway) it's rare... and its going to be hot out here today.

 

[Noelle610]

Melly, I think CIO would work for you. Sounds like she's very stimulated by you and your OH's presence. If you can commit to it for even just 3 days, I think you'll see results.

If anyone is interested in trying CIO, definitely PM megangrohl - she had a terrible, awful time with sleep and did CIO. I think it only took her one night and her LO started STTN, 12 hours, every night.

 

[Twister]

Thanks Noelle, I think it's definitely something I would consider in a month or two if things haven't improved (or maybe even now? I don't know). Like I said last night on one occasion she woke 20minute after I'd spent 45 minutes getting her to sleep. So (and this is going to sound awful) I turned the volume on the monitor down and let her CIO. It must have been about 5 minutes and she stopped and went to sleep. I felt horrible but I'd had enough and I knew she wasn't hungry etc.

Actually getting her to sleep is fine, don't normally have any problems there, it's the frequent night wakings which are the problem.

 

[bananaz]

Twister, that doesn't sound awful at all. If she only cried for 5 minutes she clearly wasn't very upset. I think you did the right thing.

 

[mellyboo]

I think you did the right thing too! Dont feel bad and noelle I think you might be right!

 

[Twister]

Sooo she woke 50mins after bedtime. I left her to cry for a couple of minutes but I couldn't last much longer than that as she was getting more and more worked up. But when I went up all I had to to was put her dummy back in and she was asleep again. Usually when I go up straight away and put her dummy in she won't have it and will need to be nursed to sleep

 

[seaweed eater]

Twister, 5 minutes is so short it could still be CC, not CIO I think you did fine, clearly you thought she would be able to handle it and she did!

5 am waking for LO today. DH put him down for a super early nap so his second nap ended up being only a little later than his first one usually is. And of course he'll have a third one in a little while. My hope is that if he can at least go to bed at a normal time tonight, we can get back on track with the naps. I hope it doesn't backfire and leave us with a broken off last sleep cycle...

 

[Tess.ie]

Twister, 5 minutes is so short it could still be CC, not CIO I think you did fine, clearly you thought she would be able to handle it and she did!

I second this
I hope everyone has a good night tonight...it has to be better than last night for us anyway, we were awake every hour after midnight. Tonight she has already woken for a feed, oh how I long for 4 straight hours. She does go back to sleep so easily, but I just wish she would stop waking in the first place!!

 

[mellyboo]

I think the uk time and where I live in canada is a huge difference.. I'm curious I'm looking it up right now!