Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Noelle610]

Boo, it's a bit early but he may be ready - especially if he sleeps well at night. Does he seem happy and well rested during the day? I think something like 5-10% of babies make the transition before a year, so there's no reason Jack couldn't be one of them. When Charlotte has one nap we just end up doing a slightly earlier bedtime if the nap ends on the early side and it's going well (fingers crossed). Also, on the naps - I'm sure he'll adjust quickly, holidays always kind of do those things.

My daughter.... Yes, MINE, the one who inspired this thread.... slept FOURTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT last night. I thought she was sick! She refused her afternoon nap after sleeping 9am-11am and fell asleep for the night in my hubby's arms at 5:30pm. We thought for sure she would be up at 4:30am, but she slept until 7:30am - super late in this household. And she was totally fine today, happy as can be! Skipped her AM nap of course, but crashed around 12:45pm.

 

[mellyboo]

haha Noelle i would of been worried sick and would of kept checking on her aha guess she needed some much sleep!

 

[mellyboo]

Jords is having a mini relaspse and brought her wakings to 3 instead of 1-2 still better then the 8 some times i was having though

to be fair she's had a messed up few days and napping over at nana's house instead of ours things are back to normal tomorrow..

 

[Boo44]

Thanks for the advice mrsbeano and noelle Maybe I just need to see how it goes. I'm sticking with his 2 naps for now anyway. Who knows what will happen when I go back to work. I know my mum will recreate everything that I do as she knows him best and appreciates his routine. I feel my MIL will just do whatever and go by Jack no matter what I say (!) and my SIL, well she has a 7 month old baby of her own, so I don't envy her trying to get both to nap! (Although she's really keen to have him)

Noelle he is well rested during the day. If he sleeps any later than 4pm he's just wide awake at bed time. But he has his morning nap at 10.30 which he's often quite ready for, but then I try to get him down again about 3 and he's often not that tired at this point. I think we're just in a tricky transition stage! I'm pleased you told me only 5-10% drop a nap this early. Stops me from rushing him into it

 

[polaris]

Wow that's a long stretch of sleep Noelle! I remember when Thomas dropped to one nap and finally started sleeping until later in the mornings (probably 6.30 or 7) and it was utter bliss and seemed like such a lie-in. He was having 3+ hours nap for the first month or thereabouts too!

Update here - Clara seems a lot better today, she was awake a bit last night coughing and I slept in her room but so far as I can remember the coughing settled down at 1.30ish and I don't remember her waking up again until 6.50 when we got up. She's gone to sleep really easily at bedtime for the past two nights too, self-settling quickly with no crying or even fussing. She's also cut back a bit on daytime sleep which is probably a good thing, she's now having 1 to 1.5 hours in the morning and about 1.5 hours in the afternoon. I think she might have been having too much daytime sleep before but I just really hated to wake her early from naps! I'm actually feeling quite hopeful that things might improve once she's finally over all her little illnesses!

 

[Boo44]

Oh yes I forgot! Wow Charlotte 14hrs! That is something Jack has never done since the day he was born!

 

[Twister]

Omg 14 hours that sounds like absolute HEAVEN. Well done Charlotte!

 

[Radkat]

Hi all - update... Last night was not so great. She had a later last nap due to us being out, but I didn't want her to skip it, so she went down around 4:30, up at 5pm. 7:15 bedtime, which was OK. Nursed earlier in the routine. Put her down and walked out, she was quiet for about a minute, then started crying. I left her for 5 minutes, calmed her with shush and pat, out again. Then she really got going, sounded really distressed, so I couldn't wait the 5 minutes. OH and I kinda got into it about that-he thinks I need to leave her the 5 minutes no matter what. Anyway, after I went in that time, calmed, left awake, she cried but it was more that whiny cry, which just means she's tired.

One wake up 45 minutes after I put her down, then asleep until 1am. Wouldn't settle, kept standing up, so I fed her at 1:45. Right to sleep. Up again 3:30 wouldn't settle. OH walked her at 415. She was asleep for maybe 10 minutes. Started it all over. I fed her at 5. She was calmer but still awake. Finally brought her to bed with us at 5:30. She slept until 6:30.

Any thoughts on adjustments to our plan, or stay the course? BTW she had 3x 30 minute naps yesterday. Thanks for any suggestions you might have.

 

[bananaz]

Radkat - It sounds like you're making progress, I would keep doing what you're doing. It can take some time to see results, so hang in there!

Noelle - Holy freaking cow, 14 hours?! Sooo jealous! Although I would probably be freaking out and calling for an ambulance if Elsie slept that long


My LO is having a really hard time going to sleep tonight. I spent 40 minutes patting her back but she just kept talking and fussing and trying to make me take her out. At one point she stood up and took both of my hands and placed them on either side of her waist, like "Come on, you idiot, do I really need to spell this out for you?!" Finally I just gave up and left. It's now an hour past her bedtime and she still isn't asleep but she isn't fussing either so hopefully she'll be out soon.

On another note, her nap schedule continues to be all over the place. Usually she has a long morning nap (1.5-2 hours) and then sometimes I can also get her down for an afternoon catnap (30-45 minutes) but other days she refuses and ends up being awake 6+ hours before bed. I'd love for her to just have one long midday nap but there's no way she can stay up from 5am to 12pm, much less 1pm. What are other babies' schedules like at this age? Suggestions welcome!

 

[stephie_corin]

Bananaz, how are you going in the morning? Are you managing to get her to stay asleep longer? It sounds like she is transitioning to one nap?? I'm obviously no expert but I read that you should push the morning nap forward by 15 minutes every two days until it settles closer to noon and at 3.5 hours after waketime or around 3 PM (which ever occurs first) try a cat nap or some quiet time.

Radcat, I'm so sorry things were so bad. I agree though, give it at least a week so she can settle into the new routine.

Polaris that is great news! And well done on the self settling!

Noelle, amazing! I live in hope!

We weirdly had an amazing night last night after two of the worst ever. I saw a friend yesterday and she thought C had been in an accident as the rings around his eyes were so dark so I don't know if the good sleep was down to exhaustion but I'm hoping it continues. We had our usual 3-4 wakeups between 6-10 but between 10pm and 530am he only had 3 wakeups! I did two things differently:

1) I didn't feed to sleep for two of his naps. It was a bit of a fight but we managed! And he went down this morning for his first nap without feeding. We fed to sleep for the last nap and bed time. And 2) I did a dream feed at 10pm. I don't normally do this but he had been waking at 11 for a feed and I hoped it might stop that waking. It could be coincidence/exhaustion but his first wakeup wasn't until 1am!!!

 

[angelwings7]

Our daytime routine starts between 6 & 7am, then I feed him every 3-4 hours and put him down every 1.5 to 2 hours. His bedtime is about 5:30 6ish depending how l long his been up for as he usually wakes up early from his naps. He naps for 40mins 3 times a day but I usually resettle him with the first 2 so that he gets an extra 40mins, but for some reason his last nap he just won't resettle. Before his bedtime routine he usually up for 2-2.5 hours so he has playtime then bath, bottle and bed. He will then sleep until his next feed 3.5 to 4hours. Then back down again and he usually wakes up an hour before his next feed so I resettle him, but after his 2am feed it takes 1.5 to 2 hours lately to get him back to sleep its horrible plus he doesn't really drink much. I have started to try cut that feed out last night and see how long he would last he went back to sleep quickly for a few more hours then I fed him at 4;30am so that way we both got more sleep.

 

[angelwings7]

I also forgot to add that he sometimes wakes up 2 or more hours before his next feed and I can't get him back to sleep so it gets really frustrating and his feed times vary because of that. I rock him to sleep as there is no way that I could do the CIO its to heart breaking for me.

 

[Boo44]

Bananaz, how are you going in the morning? Are you managing to get her to stay asleep longer? It sounds like she is transitioning to one nap?? I'm obviously no expert but I read that you should push the morning nap forward by 15 minutes every two days until it settles closer to noon and at 3.5 hours after waketime or around 3 PM (which ever occurs first) try a cat nap or some quiet time.

Radcat, I'm so sorry things were so bad. I agree though, give it at least a week so she can settle into the new routine.

Polaris that is great news! And well done on the self settling!

Noelle, amazing! I live in hope!

We weirdly had an amazing night last night after two of the worst ever. I saw a friend yesterday and she thought C had been in an accident as the rings around his eyes were so dark so I don't know if the good sleep was down to exhaustion but I'm hoping it continues. We had our usual 3-4 wakeups between 6-10 but between 10pm and 530am he only had 3 wakeups! I did two things differently:

1) I didn't feed to sleep for two of his naps. It was a bit of a fight but we managed! And he went down this morning for his first nap without feeding. We fed to sleep for the last nap and bed time. And 2) I did a dream feed at 10pm. I don't normally do this but he had been waking at 11 for a feed and I hoped it might stop that waking. It could be coincidence/exhaustion but his first wakeup wasn't until 1am!!!

When you say to 'push the morning nap forward' do you mean make it later? So if baby goes down usually at 10.30 every morning, then do 10.45 one day, then 11 etc until you reach 12?

 

[stephie_corin]

Hi Boo, yes that's what I mean

ETA - it might be bad advice, I have no personal experience, but it makes sense to me. I might even be tempted to make the transition more slowly and increase the first wake time by 15 mins every 4-5 days.

 

[VikkiD]

Hope everyone is well we have had a couple of bad night with wakings but I think it's to do with the fact that lo as learnt to crawl (finally he's been trying for ages) and also he can now sit up in his cot. Last night was better he woke a couple of times but settled himself

 

[polaris]

Hi Boo, yes that's what I mean

ETA - it might be bad advice, I have no personal experience, but it makes sense to me. I might even be tempted to make the transition more slowly and increase the first wake time by 15 mins every 4-5 days.

My experience with dropping to one nap was that it was not easy. The problem that I found with pushing the morning nap forward gradually was that it made the afternoon nap impossible to achieve, but there was still no way that he could make it through even to a very early bedtime. What worked for us was keeping the morning nap as early as possible and being very strict about waking him after 30 to 45 minutes, e.g. 9 to 9.30, and that allowed him to take a decent nap at about 1.30. We had to do that for months. I tried to drop him to one nap at almost 14 months because I wanted him on one nap for Xmas because we were going away. It was a disaster and he just became really overtired. Tried again about 6 or 8 weeks later and he was able to cope then. I didn't really do it gradually, just kept him up until about 11 a.m. and then let him nap as long as he wanted and gave him a super early bedtime. Then gradually moved naptime later until he was napping after lunch at about 12.30. We were having lunch at 11 a.m. for a while though!

ETA DS has never coped easily with nap transitions so not all babies would need such a gradual approach.

 

[Noelle610]

Totally agree Polaris - our situation seems to be happening exactly as you describe.

 

[bananaz]

My experience with dropping to one nap was that it was not easy. The problem that I found with pushing the morning nap forward gradually was that it made the afternoon nap impossible to achieve, but there was still no way that he could make it through even to a very early bedtime. What worked for us was keeping the morning nap as early as possible and being very strict about waking him after 30 to 45 minutes, e.g. 9 to 9.30, and that allowed him to take a decent nap at about 1.30. We had to do that for months. I tried to drop him to one nap at almost 14 months because I wanted him on one nap for Xmas because we were going away. It was a disaster and he just became really overtired. Tried again about 6 or 8 weeks later and he was able to cope then. I didn't really do it gradually, just kept him up until about 11 a.m. and then let him nap as long as he wanted and gave him a super early bedtime. Then gradually moved naptime later until he was napping after lunch at about 12.30. We were having lunch at 11 a.m. for a while though!

ETA DS has never coped easily with nap transitions so not all babies would need such a gradual approach.

Thank you!! A morning catnap and then a longer afternoon nap is exactly what I was thinking of doing, so it's good to hear that it worked for you.

 

[mellyboo]

Jords is back to sleeping like crap was nice while the few days lasted i guess..

I no we prob need to do the CIO solution with her because she was doing so good on her new bed time and etc now it's all sorta back fired so now i have no idea what i'm doing she's doing super well with 2 naps a day.. although they have been pretty short again could be developmental or something..

last night she had so many bubba's she peed through her over night diaper it was the only way i got any sleep she never even went through 3oz in the night for a long while maybe she was hungry i dont no she had like 20 oz last night from 8-6 :S thats crazy.

pass few nights though i cant get myself back to sleep i had PND when she was first born i'm confident its not back i'm just having sleeping issues and its making me feel crappy during the day and down i might go back see my dr...

 

[bananaz]

Bananaz, how are you going in the morning? Are you managing to get her to stay asleep longer? It sounds like she is transitioning to one nap?? I'm obviously no expert but I read that you should push the morning nap forward by 15 minutes every two days until it settles closer to noon and at 3.5 hours after waketime or around 3 PM (which ever occurs first) try a cat nap or some quiet time.

She's still waking around 5:00-5:15am unfortunately, even after going to sleep an hour late last night! She doesn't actually cry so I've just been letting her yell until 6 the past couple mornings. Maybe one of these days she'll actually go back to sleep

Pushing her awake time longer sounds like a good idea but I just don't think she's ready to be up for that long yet in the morning If she were waking up at 6 it might be a different story though.

Congrats on a good night and on not feeding to sleep!! Sounds like you guys are doing great