Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[bababas]

hurra for the good friday.

i had a good night again. he woke up 2:30am to nurse and 5am. and up 7am.

 

[stephie_corin]

Happy birthday Ivar and Munchkin!!!

Gaia, Cully is the same and still wakes 45 minutes after falling asleep (and the 45 after that and the 45 after that.. Lol). I'm glad you had one good night! Progress is progress!

Bababas, wonderful that you had a good night too! I hope you have a wonderful birthday celebration today.

Things aren't great here. Back to hourly wake ups. But no MOTN parties!

It's very quiet around here. I hope that means most of you are experiencing fantastic sleep!

 

[seaweed eater]

Happy birthday Ivar!!!

I'm sorry not to have helped interrupt the quiet...things are really getting busier at work now! (we're on an academic schedule.) Munchkin was up at 3:45 -- yes, up for the day -- Monday morning but last night gave himself and me a birthday gift and slept 11 hours straight through!!

I hope the rest of you are doing well!

 

[NotNic]

Happy birthday babies!! Hope everyone is well. We had a fab break but back to work today - boo!! F's sleep ended up being okay during our hols. He slept through every night until almost 7am most days. I don't think that's us cracked though, as his routine was so out that week. He didnt nap his usual amount any day and tended to be in bed late with quite a few cat naps. Plus he runs a lot! We'll see how he is with a full normal week of activities and nursery and then hopefully I'll be able to update you with some good news. We have noticed though if he wakes at 7am or later he is in a MUCH better mood first thing. I would love if he could sleep later. I could get up early and actually do things before he's up. How brilliant would that be?

 

[bababas]

Happy Birthday Munchkin!

Aron is teething I guess. he is annoyed during the day, so I didnt even count how many times he woke up last night. didnt bother... too much work haha. better to just pretend or try to sleep while he nurses.

Have a good day everyone! im gonna nap now...

 

[bababas]

ps Aron started military crawling yesterday. but today he is getting a bit too fast now. so this might coz sleep troubles too i guess.

 

[freddie]

Hi ladies. I haven't posted on this thread in a while but this morning I am feeling so despondent. Last night's "sleep" has me in tears this morning I'm trying to night wean LO in the hope that maybe it'll help him sleep more. I'm on the first step of nursing him when he wakes but un latching him before he falls asleep. He seems ok with it for most of the night although it feels like he is waking more often. Then it all went wrong at about 5am when he just absolutely cried and cried when I un latched him. I must have done it too soon but it has me thinking that he's never gonna let me stop the feeds (which is supposed to be the next step). After about an hour I put him back on the boob which I think is a big no in the grand scheme of the plan but I just couldn't take it anymore. It's also quite painful to feed him at the moment due to pregnancy which makes the constant night nursing torturous I just don't know what to do, sorry for the pathetic moan I don't think dh really understands how difficult I'm finding this and is more often snapping at me than offering any supportive words

 

[NotNic]

Rachel sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Something that Noelle often used to suggest was going cold turkey on what ever it was that you wanted to drop. For quite a lot of babies this resulted in less than a week if complaining but ultimately resulted in a lot less stress for mum and baby and a quicker resution. Can you replace any of the night time feeds with drinks of water?

 

[little_lady]

Hoping you wonderful ladies can help.

Joel slept through from 10 weeks to 16 weeks old, but from 4 to 6 months his sleeps got worse and worse. He currently wakes up every hour or two, on average about six times a night. I've tried feeding him,rocking him and leaving him and he does go back to sleep very quickly - the problem is the waking and crying in the first place. It's been going on for a couple of weeks now that he wakes so often.

I can handle one or two night wakings but losing the will to live here!

He naps fine, 3 times a day for an hour to an hour and a half each, and he goes to bed fine at 7pm(ish).

He's got a cold and just had an ear infection, but the problems started before that really. He's also rolling over and getting on all fours and rocking in his crib when I go to him.

 

[stephie_corin]

Little_lady, I know this doesn't help but these kind of regressions are very common, particularly when LO is working on a new skill.

You've got two options: wait it out or try some sleep training. This can be as gentle as you like. Let us know what approach you prefer and we can give you some tips and advice. Even if you decide to wait it out, there are strategies you can use to make things easier (like bed sharing, for example).

 

[stephie_corin]

Oh, I forgot to say you may find dropping to two naps helpful too!

 

[little_lady]

If I knew it was only going to last a few more days I'd probably wait it out.

I have heard horror stories of it not going away though so as soon as he's over his cold I think I'd prefer to sleep train. I can't bed share as he likes his own space and won't be cuddled to sleep either. I can settle him by putting my hand on his back and rocking him but he will still wake up an hour later so clearly there's something behind him waking up?? Developmental makes sense.

 

[stephie_corin]

If I were you, I might try dropping a nap and seeing if that helps his sleep. He may be under tired. Although some of the others might be in a better position to advise you on this.

There are a lot of different methods for sleep training. Controlled crying, gradual withdrawal, pick up/put down for example. I haven't sleep trained myself but some of the others on the thread have. Let us know what method you prefer and I'm sure someone will be able to help!

 

[seaweed eater]

Little lady, why don't you pick a particular day until which you will WIO, and then you can reevaluate? I find it much easier to wait when I know I'm going to have a chance to stop waiting if things are really bad.

If I were you, I'd wait until the cold is gone, then try dropping a nap for at least 3-4 days, then consider sleep training. I'm not someone who is against sleep training in general, but it needs to go together with a good daily schedule for the best results.

Rachel unlatching my LO early never, ever worked. We tried the gentle removal NCSS thing for a few weeks and it took dozens of removals each time, and never any less than when we started. That method of night weaning wouldn't be right for us and perhaps it isn't right for you either. What I would do instead is work on the sleep association first. At bedtime, do something else in between nursing and sleep (like reading a book). You can continue nursing during the night if you want, but just try to put him down awake afterward. Once you are confident that he can calm himself and go to sleep without nursing immediately prior, you can start dropping feeds. Good luck

 

[little_lady]

How do you drop a nap though? He is definitely tired for all three naps so how do I get him to drop one?

 

[freddie]

Little lady, why don't you pick a particular day until which you will WIO, and then you can reevaluate? I find it much easier to wait when I know I'm going to have a chance to stop waiting if things are really bad.

If I were you, I'd wait until the cold is gone, then try dropping a nap for at least 3-4 days, then consider sleep training. I'm not someone who is against sleep training in general, but it needs to go together with a good daily schedule for the best results.

Rachel unlatching my LO early never, ever worked. We tried the gentle removal NCSS thing for a few weeks and it took dozens of removals each time, and never any less than when we started. That method of night weaning wouldn't be right for us and perhaps it isn't right for you either. What I would do instead is work on the sleep association first. At bedtime, do something else in between nursing and sleep (like reading a book). You can continue nursing during the night if you want, but just try to put him down awake afterward. Once you are confident that he can calm himself and go to sleep without nursing immediately prior, you can start dropping feeds. Good luck

Yep I think we have to play the slow game with him... I have been working on the sleep association to the extent that I've not been letting him fall asleep on the boob. That seems to be working although the nursing and sleep are still very close together but it is now more like feed, cuddle, rock and sleep. The last couple of nights he's actually let me put him down awake in his cot for the first time EVER! And I've patted him to sleep in his cot. Can't do it during the night but still it's a big step for us!

Also, as he is still in our room, it was too easy for me to pull him into bed with me once I was in there and then he'd sleep next to me for the rest of the night and wake constantly to nurse although seem restless like he didn't really know what he wanted. We decided to test out what he'd be like without us in the room to disturb him. I also thought this way I couldn't slip into my habit of pulling him into bed and feeding him while I doze off. I decided I'd only feed him twice and all other wake ups I'd rock /pat. Well 2 out of the 3 nights we've not been in the room he's only woken up twice!!!!! So I feel like there is some light at the end of the tunnel.

We're gonna sort out his room so that he can have his own space to sleep in (we're currently sleeping on the floor downstairs and he's in our room lol!)

I'm sad at the prospect of him moving out of our room but it's clear to me that it is going to be the best thing for all of us.

So in these past few nights we seem to have made some steps in the right direction but I know there is still a long way to go! I'm wondering now how to keep moving forward and drop one of the feeds so that he only wakes up once. If he continues this pattern he's wanting a feed at around 12 and 5... Is there a better one to try and drop? I'm thinking the 5am one - try to push him to wait til his morning feed at 6.30/7?

Sorry for the essay!

 

[seaweed eater]

Little lady, you would drop a nap by extending his awake times. They can get sleepy out of habit even if they don't need the sleep, so you likely would have to push through some tired signs at first. You'd know within a few days whether it was working better or not. We can come up with an approximate two-nap schedule for you. I think you said 3 naps of 60-90 minutes and bedtime at 7. What time is he up in the morning?

Rachel, that sounds like great progress on both SS and moving to his own space that was how we started working on SS with mine, and it didn't get him all the way there without tears but it did help. The 4:30-5 feed was the last one we dropped, and I know it was the same for Polaris (with her first) and others on this thread. It seems like they don't need that one as much, but the problem is that their drive to sleep is so much weaker at that time so there's a danger that they will just wake themselves up if they don't get to feed. If you don't feed him until 6:30-7, even if he wakes up earlier, then in the long run he probably will start sleeping through, but it is likely to be a longer process and in the meantime you have to deal with earlier mornings. But you know your baby's sleep habits best and can probably listen to your intuition on this. If you think he'd go back to sleep at 5, you may be right.

 

[little_lady]

Thank you seaweed.

He gets up between 6 and 7am, mostly nearer 6 but it can vary. Never after 7 though.

His cold is mostly gone now, I'll give him tonight and then be a bit stricter with routine etc. Then I think I'll wait until next week before sleep training.

Last night was the worst yet, I lost count of the amount of times I got up to him, maybe 10 or so.

 

[seaweed eater]

It sounds like he's getting about 15 hours of sleep a day (which is perfect!) so 2-3-4 would probably work well. Those are awake times. So for example, if he wakes at 6:15, first nap could be 8:15-9:45, second nap 12:45-2:15, bed at 6:15. It's natural for bedtime to get a little earlier when you make this transition. Naps may lengthen so that bedtime can be later. If you find yourself needing more total awake time, or if the 4 hours before bed are too much, you could lengthen the first wake time a bit.

 

[little_lady]

Thanks! I'll try this tomorrow I think.

Last night I put him down at 7.15pm and he woke at 10pm, 12.30 and 2.30am, then slept until 6.30am randomly! So not a bad night. I fed him when he woke up, the first two times he had a big feed but the 2.30am wake he just had a short nurse and then laid his head on my arm and went back to sleep.

I suppose it could be worse as he will go in his crib fine and does self settle sometimes, or settles if I put my hand on his back.