Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Aimee1003]

So last night was bad. It took us almost 2 hrs at bedtime. I tried everything...nursing, rocking, CIO. He finally went down at 8:45. I stayed up until 10 to get some time with hubby. C woke up at 12:15. Very fussy, finally got back down at 1:05. Woke back up at 1:10. Rocked to sleep til 1:30. At this point I made a pallet on his floor and slept in his room because I kept hearing "phantom cries" on the monitor when there was not any!!!
He woke up at 4:30 fussy again. Tried everything and got him back down at 5:40. Up again at 5:50. Down at 6:15 and up for day at 7:15. I am shattered. Going to call the Dr. All this is really unusual for him. Maybe he has an ear infection...

We tried to referberize him last week but he cried 1.5 hrs nonstop for 3 nights until I gave in each time. When we did sleep training the first time he responded well with 45 min first night, 30 second, 5 minutes third night and that was it. I have no idea what is going on now but I emotionally cannot let him cry like that again.

To everyone : It seems that we all have dealt with anxiety -induced insomnia. I think that it must be a normal reaction to being woken up so often and then dreading the next wakeup.

 

[socitycourty]

will check out the books.....i don't think i could do CIO as i listen to so much crying already. i expected less sleep and etc, but not like this. also find that people don't have much sympathy it seems. worst thing to hear is "what did you expect?" well, not CIA level torture!

i feel terrible as i find mysef envious of other people's babies. my sister has a hard night if my niece gets up once or twice!

i can't help but think this is my fault somehow by holding her too much, by BF too much in the beginning, by not BF now, i don't know

 

[Noelle610]

Jessica, that is SO awesome! Glad you got a good night's sleep, too.

Bananaz, I am totally with you on not seeing the pattern on days that lead to a good night's sleep. Charlotte STTN last night with no wakeups (7pm to 6am) and it didn't make sense - naps were not good (90 minutes in the morning, 45 minutes in the afternoon and 15 minutes in the late afternoon), she ate virtually no solids and less formula than usual and she is sick. What's the rhyme or reason there? I am grateful, though, because I have a cold and was able to get a good night's rest. I only woke up once, at 2am - brilliant for me!

Libby, I'm sorry for those super long night wakings. I find those to be the most frustrating. How is your LO's napping during the day? Could she be getting too much daytime sleep?

Aimee, sorry for your trouble as well. It must be so frustrating that sleep training worked well and is fruitless now. I wonder if something else is going on. Have you talked to the ped? It must be frustrating because I know your LO was sleeping so well before!

Socity, sorry to see you here! I know you're struggled with sleep like we all have. I totally second Bananaz's recommendation for the Ferber book. In addition, I really like "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. It's very science-y and a little confusing in parts, but there is a chapter (4, I think) on post-colic kids and it's great. You don't really have to read the book cover to cover. He does advocate CIO, but also gives other methods that are more gentle that you might find appealing. He also talks about getting LO on an age-appropriate daytime schedule which can help nights improve.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Socitycourty - I used Ferber's book to teach Sofia to self sooth and it worked quickly and was the best decision I've ever made. I'm a big fan of Ferber now and don't know why he gets a bad rep.

Bananaz - glad you guys had another great night and don't analyze it too much just enjoy it

Jessica - yey for more good nights! Hope u get some more rest.

Libby - well Sofia doesn't have the startle reflex anymore I think she's just used to the Wwombie and associates it with sleep. She can move her arms under it though so I'm inclined to keep her in there for a few more weeks.

Noelle - glad Charlotte is still doing well. How are you sleeping though?

We've fallen back into the old routine of one wakeuo per night which is good. She sleeps at 7 pm, up for feed between 12-2, then asleep again till around 6-7 when I bring her to our bed and we nap till 9:30 or so.

Question for you guys: once your LO started teething, how long did it take for the tooth to show up? Sofia's been teething 4 weeks now but the last couple of days she's been extra miserable. Last night I gave her Advil which helped. Just wondering how long this phase might last :/

 

[Noelle610]

Shadowy Lady - I'm actually sleeping better these days! I went to bed at 8:30pm and only woke up ONCE last night at 2am, to blow my nose, pee and check on Charlotte. I even slept in until 6am (LOL). Wish I wasn't sick so I could enjoy it! The medication is helping immensely. I also took Tylenol Cold PM last night, so sure that helped. What's odd is that I do still feel sleepy. Not horrifically terrible like I did before, but still just kind of tired. I think it's from 7 months of sleep deprivation and also maybe getting *more* sleep than my body is used to at this point.

On teething - Charlotte seemed to teethe for weeks before her first tooth popped through, but the second came quickly without much fussiness or sleepless nights. I've heard from other moms that the first is the worst until the molars, as they kind of "get used" to the sensation and are more easily distracted.

 

[libbylou]

Jessica and bananaz - glad you ladies had such an awesome night!

aimee - that's a tough night When LO has those nights I am so glad we cosleep because when she does the hourly waking the cosleeping saves my butt
I know the anxiety induced insomnia is partly "when is this kid going to wake up again" but I'm also dealing with PPD related anxiety which makes it even worse. Sometimes I lie in bed for an hour or two just worrying about dumb obscure stuff like what if we have an earthquake and the retaining wall behind our house falls into LO's room and I have to dig her out

socity - I was worried about the crying too because LO already cries so much. But I was honestly surprised. The amount of crying she did about sleep times pre-sleep training FAR exceeded the amount of crying during the sleep training period.

Noelle - she tends to have either 3 short naps (30-45 mins each) or two longer naps (about an hour each), so she's not napping ridiculously long during the day

shadowy - I think it took about a week before LO's first tooth came in and the second tooth followed within a week, she's only got the two so far. She does still go through periods of teething (crying, rubbing her face, chewing on everything and drooling a ton) where no teeth show up

Last night was so so. She went down fine and slept 3.5 hours. I did decide to take her straight to bed with me at that point instead of trying to resettle her in her crib and risking another 2-3 hour wakeup. She settled into bed but did squirm around a lot and popped on and off the boob for like an hour and then spent most of the night nursing so it wasn't much of a comfortable sleep for me. Put her back into her crib at 5:30 because she woke up and wouldn't settle, she took a half hour to settle back to sleep and then stayed down until 8. So yay for no long wakings last night, but boo to crappy disturbed sleep because she was nursing so much

 

[bananaz]

Shadowy - My LO seemed to be teething on and off for months, but she only had a couple days of clinginess right before the actual teeth came through. To be honest I usually just give her a dose of ibuprofen before bed when she's had an extra cranky day and it does seem to help, but it's so hard to tell what's going on when they won't let you look in their mouths!

libby - Ughh, big hugs to you, I can't imagine trying to cosleep with my baby at this age. I hope she's sleeping better for you tonight.


So it's 4:30am and we're both having trouble going back to sleep right now :\ LO is on her third waking and she keeps fussing and rolling around trying to get comfortable. I wish I could help her get to sleep faster but I know if I go back in there it's only going to make things worse. And now I only have 1.5 hours of potential sleep left as a best case scenario. Bleh.

 

[Noelle610]

Ugh Bananaz, I hate that feeling of "I only have xxx amount of time to sleep".

Charlotte slept through the night again last night. I'm worried she's waking and I'm just not hearing her now that I sleep well! But my DH assures me I would hear her if she needed me.

She is usually a great napper and refusing her first nap right now, though, so I'm really frustrated and of course worried about how it will affect the rest of the day.

 

[jessicatunnel]

Bananaz, that's tough. I also hate when I look at the clock and only have a short time to sleep. Makes it that much harder to GO to sleep in my case!

Noelle, that's awesome! I feel the same, I worry I'm just not hearing her, but nothing has changed, I keep her door closed, ours open, and the monitor off and before I've been able to hear every cry so surely she's actually sleeping through, right?

She slept through again last night! YAY! Two night's in a row, that's a new record!
7:15pm-7am, gave her a bottle, and down again until 9:30am.

She had one 3 hour long nap yesterday, and she slept the whole time we were out for dinner last night (2 or so hours), went straight down when we got home without a fuss and stayed asleep.

 

[bananaz]

Wow, two babies sleeping through! That's really encouraging to see. I've been planning to try and gradually eliminate Elsie's 3am feeding to see if she'll sleep through, but last night at her first waking I ran in there half-asleep to nurse her, not realizing until I got back to my room that it was only 10pm. So instead of eliminating a feeding, I added one. Genius

 

[Larkspur]

Shadowy, Noelle, Jessica, glad you're all doing better again!

Libby, I'm another one impressed that you can co-sleep. My guy is a kicker and puncher, I can't get any rest with him. Strangely, he sleeps like a log in his own cot.

Bananaz, hang in there!

We're doing a little better. Last two nights have only been three wake ups. I've given up really trying to figure out why things change from one day/week to the next, and am moving on to just being grateful when they improve! However I have had him back in a sleepsack the last two nights despite the very warm weather (instead of just a light vest) and he also sat unsupported for about 20 seconds yesterday. Hoping to get down to just two wakings tonight!

 

[Aimee1003]

Glad to hear that some of the babies are improving. Watching the clock makes me so anxious...

So I took LO to the Dr yesterday. No ear infections. She thinks it is a combo of teething and hunger. Ergh. When I am at work, Coleton takes fortified bottles of breastmilk made to be 27 calories an ounce rather than the normal 20. I feed like normal when home. This usually works out fine on weekends but I have been off the last 2 weeks so LO has only been nursing. Dr thinks his body is used to the extra calories and he is waking at night to compensate. Makes sense. Especially since the one night we had okay sleep was the day he went to daycare... Oh well. I go back to work Monday so we will test the theory.

 

[Larkspur]

Aimee, no help, just sympathy from me here... although it's good to hear your LO is not ill. But mostly I just wanted to say WHAT AN AMAZING BABY NAME. Coleton, SO cute!

 

[Aimee1003]

Aimee, no help, just sympathy from me here... although it's good to hear your LO is not ill. But mostly I just wanted to say WHAT AN AMAZING BABY NAME. Coleton, SO cute!

Thank you. It is nice to just have a spot to vent. I know DH gets tired of listening to the same old complaints. I just hate thinking LO is hungry. I am glad you like the name. I love it.

I am glad ur nights are a little better. Here's to the day we get to sleep again!

 

[libbylou]

LO is usually ok to cosleep with (not as good as when she was a newborn though), other than the fact that she nurses pretty much nonstop which makes it a light disturbed sleep for me so I'm often waking up a bit to position her or whatever.
She does tend to get restless now (started a few weeks ago) so we play musical beds and put her back in her crib when she gets restless

Last night was atrocious. I'm so tired I could puke
To sleep at 8:15 (a bit later than usual but only by about a half hour)
Wake up at 10:30. Let her cry 5 mins to see if she would settle. Was in full on hysterics by the time I went in there.
Cue two hours of crying. The only thing that calmed her was patting her back firmly and rapidly while shushing and while she lay in her crib. I'd do it for 20-30 mins until my back was hurting too bad to continue and then hope she was asleep and stop and she would wake up, look at me and start screaming again. (this is pretty much what she does whenever she has these stupid middle of the night refusal to sleep parties)
Finally took her to bed at 12:30...she took about a half an hour to settle so I didn't get to sleep until 1am. By this time I had been bawling for over an hour and was ready to walk out the door.
She started to get restless at 4:30.
Got up and moved her to her crib at 5:30am because I'd been mostly awake for the last hour trying to settle her...she didn't go back to sleep until 6am
Started making noise at 7am which woke me up, and she got up for the day at 7:30am.
So I got maybe 3.5 hours of broken sleep with her in bed...and another hour with her in her crib

 

[socitycourty]

Also had an atrocious night. I actually was so upset that I yelled, then cried, "FFS, let me sleep!" she of course just looked at me and then continued fussing. I felt awful by 6 a.m. but the lack of sleep is making me a little nuts. We are bedsharing still as well but it needs to change.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

last night we had 3 wake up calls. One at 12, then at 2 and then again at 5 am. But the 2 am and 5 am she wasn't hungry she had just pooped ughhh I hate when that happens in the middle of the night.

Her naps have been great today. I'm pretty exhausted and hoping tonight will be a better night. Either way I'm going to bed at 9 pm the latest to at least get some rest before she wakes up

 

[MiniKiwi]

Aimee, glad to hear LO isn't sick. I think it's so important to have them checked just incase, after my LO was sick and the doctors missed it. I always worry about babies being sick now and nobody figuring it out..another thing to be anxious about...other people's sick babies!

Larkspur, glad to hear things are improving. Three wake ups isn't bad at all, though it still feels bad when you're used to a baby who sttns!

Jessica, so stoked for you and Lilly. What an awesome couple of nights

Noelle, so happy to hear you're finally managing to get some rest

Libby and Socity, HUGE I hope you guys catch a break soon. Hang in there (as much as possible!)

We had a bad night last night and the night before. I'm so impressed so many of you manage to keep track of wake ups and times etc. I actually have no idea how many times Mia woke last night.. just that it was many! I'm like an absolute zombie when she wakes up. I know she woke an hour or so after I got to sleep and those ones are the worst, I can't function LOL!

When she decides to have long wake times in the night I just put her in our bed now so she can be awake and I can be half awake. I woke to her pulling my hair at about 5am haha. It will get better..it must!

to you all

 

[MiniKiwi]

Shadowy, tell me about it huh?! Who can be bothered with pooey nappies in the middle of the night???

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Shadowy, tell me about it huh?! Who can be bothered with pooey nappies in the middle of the night???

I wouldn't wanna change her at that hour but she's sooo uncomfortable she cries and screams so I have to

Sorry Mia's been waking up a lot. I totally know what you mean being a zombie in the morning. What I find has helped is when Sofia wakes up at around 7:30 am or so, I just bring her to our bed, feed her there and we take a nap together. Usually I get a solid 2 hour nap then and am energized for the rest of the day even if the night was crappy....