Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[lysh]

April- It's so tiring waking up that much. I'm sorry you had a bad regression like that. I'd almost rather not get to the good sleep point because I don't think I could take such a big backwards leap You must be so tired.

That is how I feel.....I would rather sleep stay crappy then have it be wonderful and go crappy again.

LO was up 4 times last night.... She woke up at 8, 10:20, 2, 3. I went in for all wake-ups except at 3. I knew if I went in she would wake up for the day. My performance at my job is suffering already. We get up if its 4 or later, but she cannot start this 3 am stuff! She cried for 15 minutes and then slept until 4:50.

 

[MrsPear]

April- It's so tiring waking up that much. I'm sorry you had a bad regression like that. I'd almost rather not get to the good sleep point because I don't think I could take such a big backwards leap You must be so tired.

That is how I feel.....I would rather sleep stay crappy then have it be wonderful and go crappy again.

LO was up 4 times last night.... She woke up at 8, 10:20, 2, 3. I went in for all wake-ups except at 3. I knew if I went in she would wake up for the day. My performance at my job is suffering already. We get up if its 4 or later, but she cannot start this 3 am stuff! She cried for 15 minutes and then slept until 4:50.

3am isn't morning time! It just isn't!! x

 

[Noelle610]

It's comforting to know that many of you relate to my anxiety over sleep going from good to bad! You just can't win

Lysh, I am a morning person and often get up around 5:30am to have some "me" time before Charlotte gets up. But 3am is the middle of the night, even for me!

Charlotte woke up at 9:30pm with teething pain just 30 minutes after I had drifted off to sleep. UGH! She hasn't woken that early since before the holidays. Zzzz. Come on tooth, pop through!

 

[Lady_Bee]

So finally I would say my situation with sleep is getting desperate

I guess this year of extreme sleep deprivation is beginning to drag me down. Doooooooooown. I am ACHING for some sleep. I find that I am constantly angry, depressed, feeling hopeless, fantasizing about running away... I have no energy for anything and feel life is one huge chore. And I KNOW all I need is some sleep, that's why this is so frustrating!!!

My boy is almost one and is now waking every hour. Every. Bloody. Hour.

I can't cope. Seriously I just can't.

What do I do?

HELP!!!!! I think my husband will leave me soon if I don't fix this! All I do is yell at him I'm just so angry all the time and exhausted

 

[Noelle610]

Oh no Lady_Bee, I'm sorry!

Is this a new development or is this normal for him? I've heard that some babies have a sleep regression around this age as they're learning to walk.

Does he have any major sleep associations that might be waking him, like a pacifier or nursing to sleep?

Sleep deprivation was really hard on my marriage, too, so I understand.

 

[Lady_Bee]

Noelle, he was never a good sleeper but used to sleep in 2-3 hour stretches and just wake 2-3 times a night. Which was still awful but I could cope with it. I don't know why he now won't stay asleep for longer than about 45 minutes. he learned to walk 3 months ago so it's not that. I guess it could be separation anxiety but I'm skeptical.

We rock him to sleep. He went through a phase where he would settle himself if I sat by the crib but it lasted a week and then stopped working. So we were back to square one.

I think I'm just going to have to stop picking him up. It will be so hard but I'm literally about to lose it! I am so worried about my sanity!

My husband is useless, he just has ONE suggestion and that is "let him cry, don't even go to him!". Not sure why he thinks that is a good suggestion... Even CIO books don't say to do that! The worst part is he's so smug about it grrrr it makes me so irritated just thinking about it.

 

[Noelle610]

It sounds like a rock to sleep association I don't think you should just leave him, but perhaps you could try some progressive waiting? I usually give Charlotte 10 or 15 minutes to settle before responding to a night waking and she will often go back to sleep! Big hugs.

 

[Lady_Bee]

I think you're right, I really thought he would figure it out by now though. i thought we were really getting somewhere a couple of months back when he decided he didnt need to be rocked anymore! Wish it had lasted! Now he doesn't want to be put down!

I won't leave him, I could never do that. I've read advice on other boards from mums who had success with soothing in the crib and just being resolute in not picking him up for a cuddle during night wakings. I think I'm going to try that. It'll probably mean even less sleep for a while but I have to do something.

My other plan is bed-sharing again. I'm not sure that will work too well because he doesn't settle well in bed with me lately. He used to when he was much younger... Ah well.

So with your daughter when she wakes at night do you let her full on cry for 15 minutes then or does she just fuss?

 

[Noelle610]

I think you're right, I really thought he would figure it out by now though. i thought we were really getting somewhere a couple of months back when he decided he didnt need to be rocked anymore! Wish it had lasted! Now he doesn't want to be put down!

I won't leave him, I could never do that. I've read advice on other boards from mums who had success with soothing in the crib and just being resolute in not picking him up for a cuddle during night wakings. I think I'm going to try that. It'll probably mean even less sleep for a while but I have to do something.

My other plan is bed-sharing again. I'm not sure that will work too well because he doesn't settle well in bed with me lately. He used to when he was much younger... Ah well.

So with your daughter when she wakes at night do you let her full on cry for 15 minutes then or does she just fuss?

We did that - the no pick up and soothe in the crib. It worked really well. Obviously I still pick up if teething/ill/really upset.

Just fussing - I would never let her full on cry for that long, but that's just me personally. I'm not against it on principle or anything, it's just not really for me.

 

[bananaz]

I think you're right, I really thought he would figure it out by now though. i thought we were really getting somewhere a couple of months back when he decided he didnt need to be rocked anymore! Wish it had lasted! Now he doesn't want to be put down!

I won't leave him, I could never do that. I've read advice on other boards from mums who had success with soothing in the crib and just being resolute in not picking him up for a cuddle during night wakings. I think I'm going to try that. It'll probably mean even less sleep for a while but I have to do something.

My other plan is bed-sharing again. I'm not sure that will work too well because he doesn't settle well in bed with me lately. He used to when he was much younger... Ah well.

So with your daughter when she wakes at night do you let her full on cry for 15 minutes then or does she just fuss?

Have you heard of the Sleep Lady Shuffle? It's basically what you're talking about doing, but I find having some detailed guidelines can be helpful (I guess I'm a sucker for "methods"!). There will probably be some crying but you'll be right there so it's a gentler technique.

https://www.parentsconnect.com/parenting-your-kids/kids-sleeping/good-night-sleep-lady-shuffle.html

 

[Lady_Bee]

We did that - the no pick up and soothe in the crib. It worked really well. Obviously I still pick up if teething/ill/really upset.

Cool did it help her to sleep longer periods at all do you think? Did she protest a lot in the beginning and get really frustrated at you for not picking her up?

Just fussing - I would never let her full on cry for that long, but that's just me personally. I'm not against it on principle or anything, it's just not really for me.

Just clarifying! Yeah I don't think I could either. Maybe I SHOULD leave him longer during the night. I don't know. I usually give him a few minutes but the annoying thing is if he doesn't go back to sleep within that timeframe he tends to work up to a hysteria pretty fast Thanks for your advice.

 

[Noelle610]

Yes, I do think it helped her to sleep longer periods! We night weaned as well, so when she would fuss my husband or I would go in and comfort her by rubbing her back, talking softly, etc., but not picking up. She did protest a lot of the first three days, but after that she slept really well. I think the hardest part is having the energy to stick with it when you're sleep deprived and it's 4am and you just want to do what is easiest!

It's hard I think if your baby gets worked up really quickly. I was fortunate not to have that issue. I know that changes things a bit.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Lysh - eeeek 3:30 that's before even the birds wake up I'm sorry

Last night was ok fro me coz I slept in the basement guest room for most of the night, went to sleep at 8:30 pm and DH came to get me at 3:30 am when she had woken up. I fed her and "tried" to go back to sleep. But again she was babbling away till 4:30 am or so till we both went to sleep. But then she woke up at 6:30 and wanted to be up for the day.

DH told me that she woke up at 10:30 pm (yukkk....super early for her). But he said that looking at the monitor she looked like she wanted to be asleep but was in pain/discomfort. So he gave her Advil and some milk (she only took 2oz before sleeping he says). Apparently her had forgotten the Advil before bed.

I'm getting convinced that she's teething now. Who knows how long it will go. At least I got some sleep so I'm pumped for my bootcamp class

Question - I was told babies Sofia's age should have their naps at approximately 9 am, 1 pm and then one catnap at around 3:30 pm. But since Sofia's sleep is all over the place, so are her nap times. She took her first nap from 7:40-9:50 am. She's up now but I know she'd wanna nap again at around 11:30 or so. How do I stick to the nap schedule when she wakes up at different times in the morning even though her bedtime is always the same (6:45-7:15 pm range)?

 

[Boo44]

Does he have any major sleep associations that might be waking him, like a pacifier or nursing

Ahh Noelle that scares me as Jack uses a dummy! But I know in the night he can settle without it so I keep giving him it to comfort him and at bedtime! I always lie there and wonder which way to go. If its before 6am then no doubt I just let him fuss and 9/10 he'll go back to sleep. If it's after 6 I umm and ahh as I know he'll go back to sleep with the dummy and worry that at that time if he's awake he'll just be awake for the day! I left him at 6 this morning and he went back to sleep. Think it's just something I'll have to play by ear!

I hope Charlotte's tooth pops through really soon. We got 2 in one day last week and boy did I know about it! Poor things xx

Lady_Bee I have nothing to add but only that I feel for you and I hope you manage to sort out your little boy's sleeping. If it's any consolation I think these girls are really the best people to help you! I love reading their advice lol xx

 

[Lady_Bee]

Have you heard of the Sleep Lady Shuffle? It's basically what you're talking about doing, but I find having some detailed guidelines can be helpful (I guess I'm a sucker for "methods"!). There will probably be some crying but you'll be right there so it's a gentler technique.

https://www.parentsconnect.com/parenting-your-kids/kids-sleeping/good-night-sleep-lady-shuffle.html

Sorry I missed your post somehow... No I hadn't heard of that. Thanks for the info!! Will check it out.

 

[Noelle610]

Does he have any major sleep associations that might be waking him, like a pacifier or nursing

Ahh Noelle that scares me as Jack uses a dummy! But I know in the night he can settle without it so I keep giving him it to comfort him and at bedtime! I always lie there and wonder which way to go. If its before 6am then no doubt I just let him fuss and 9/10 he'll go back to sleep. If it's after 6 I umm and ahh as I know he'll go back to sleep with the dummy and worry that at that time if he's awake he'll just be awake for the day! I left him at 6 this morning and he went back to sleep. Think it's just something I'll have to play by ear!

I hope Charlotte's tooth pops through really soon. We got 2 in one day last week and boy did I know about it! Poor things xx

Lady_Bee I have nothing to add but only that I feel for you and I hope you manage to sort out your little boy's sleeping. If it's any consolation I think these girls are really the best people to help you! I love reading their advice lol xx

Truthfully, I think most kids are fine with a dummy - it only becomes problematic for some! Charlotte uses one from time to time and it really helps to comfort her if she wakes around the 4am mark or she's teething. It doesn't seem to affect us negatively at all!

 

[Noelle610]

Lysh - eeeek 3:30 that's before even the birds wake up I'm sorry

Last night was ok fro me coz I slept in the basement guest room for most of the night, went to sleep at 8:30 pm and DH came to get me at 3:30 am when she had woken up. I fed her and "tried" to go back to sleep. But again she was babbling away till 4:30 am or so till we both went to sleep. But then she woke up at 6:30 and wanted to be up for the day.

DH told me that she woke up at 10:30 pm (yukkk....super early for her). But he said that looking at the monitor she looked like she wanted to be asleep but was in pain/discomfort. So he gave her Advil and some milk (she only took 2oz before sleeping he says). Apparently her had forgotten the Advil before bed.

I'm getting convinced that she's teething now. Who knows how long it will go. At least I got some sleep so I'm pumped for my bootcamp class

Question - I was told babies Sofia's age should have their naps at approximately 9 am, 1 pm and then one catnap at around 3:30 pm. But since Sofia's sleep is all over the place, so are her nap times. She took her first nap from 7:40-9:50 am. She's up now but I know she'd wanna nap again at around 11:30 or so. How do I stick to the nap schedule when she wakes up at different times in the morning even though her bedtime is always the same (6:45-7:15 pm range)?

Charlotte's napping was pretty inconsistent until 6 months

I don't go by the clock, but wake times. More often than not, her naps usually fall around the same times daily, but it varies depending on when she wakes up and how sleepy she is that day.

Charlotte usually wakes around 6:30am and will nap 2 or 2.5 hours after waking - usually 8:30am or 9am for 90 minutes. She will then nap 3 or 3.5 hours after waking from the first nap - usually 1pm or 1:30pm, but sometimes as late as 2pm, for 90 minutes give or take. She then goes to bed anywhere from 3 to 4 hours after her last nap - it's usually between 6pm and 7pm. Sometimes there is a smaller wake time before bed if she naps until 4pm or so, which happens on the weekends sometimes.

Not sure if that makes sense, but hope it helps! When C took three naps, they were shorter (like 45 minutes maybe) and she would nap every 2 hours or so.

 

[Lady_Bee]

First night trying to soothe in crib... We only managed 20 minutes until LO was crying so hard he puked all over his bed. We decided that was enough for tonight. So frustrated.

 

[Noelle610]

Poor baby and poor mama. I'm sorry it didn't go so well

 

[Sunnie1984]

Yawn...

I'll reply properly when Seren goes to bed tonight but suffice to say that she was awake every 15 mins from 4am.

It was also the first day we'd had a breakthrough with her wind by using gripe water, which has upset her tummy.... So back to square one!

Plus it was the first night I went to bed late as had friends round, typical!