Rant - Feeling so hopeless about sleep!

[Sunnie1984]

Yawn... morning ladies

Noelle - Glad you got a good nights sleep from Charlotte, hopefully teething will have passed for now, although I always feel a bit cheated when they stop teething and no tooth, as you know you're going to have to go through it again to get it through!

Boo44 - Awww thank you!

Mrsbeano - YAY! so glad the tooth is through and it's settled Quinn. I hope the good nights continue!

Shadowy Lady - I think her recommendation is a great one. There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture, it is horrendous. I think some decent sleep will make a world of difference to you.

Mrspear - I bet that felt really good to get a decent nights sleep, especially lying on your back! If you are worried, you may as well get her checked over by a doctor, to be on the safe side.


As for us... I despair, where has my good sleeper gone! She woke about every 1.5 hours after going to sleep at 7pm. She would wake screaming, thrash around, but by the time I got to her room, she had her thumb in her mouth and going back to sleep.

I wondered whether WW or teething, I was going to give her neurofen, but as she was already settling, I thought it would not be good to drag her out of bed and stick a syringe down her throat, it always results in screaming.

So at 6:40am it was up for the day, and obviously I barely slept inbetween her wake ups as I was wide awake from the screaming.

So that's about 3 hours sleep the night before last and the same but broken last night.

She's not very interested in her bottle this morning, and I think her gums on the right side are a little swollen, so I've given her neurofen to see if it makes a difference. If she eats better because of it, I'll give her a dose before bed to see if it helps.

She doesn't seem in too much pain, but she's constantly got her fingers in her mouth and drooling.

DH is away until Saturday morning (he's been away for almost a week now) and I'm just exhausted.

 

[MrsPear]

Aww Sunnie another rubbish night for you, I'm sorry. I hope neuofen helps.
Joni had a bad night too...she got 2 hours sleep and woke at 12:30 and wouldn't go back in her cot, or sleep next to me. I tried until about 2:30 and then held her the rest of the night. I know I may have mentioned it but I'M SO UNCOMFY. Ha. She was up at 6:20 which isn't too early but when you don't have any sleep in the night it feels awful!

I've applied for 2 new jobs this week and got an interview on 13th Feb, so fingers crossed I can start getting it sorted before I go back to work. (might be counting my chickens as I don't have a job yet!)

x

 

[mrsbeano]

Mrs pear, the routine of getting up at the same time for nursery has helped I think. That n he's so tired he sleeps like a log most nights. They wear him out lol.

Ok here, woke at 4.30 but settled for only 3 oz. Will continue to reduce that but over 9 hours is great.

 

[MrsPear]

Mrs pear, the routine of getting up at the same time for nursery has helped I think. That n he's so tired he sleeps like a log most nights. They wear him out lol.

Ok here, woke at 4.30 but settled for only 3 oz. Will continue to reduce that but over 9 hours is great.

I will hold that thought close!
Just both had an hour nap, which is unheard of, and I think she only woke up because my phone rang and we've had our new fish tank delivered (I never had a delivery actually coming at the time it's supposed to before! Yay!) so I'm feeling okay right now.

 

[Boo44]

Shadowy Lady when it is my OH's night I usually put one earphone in and listen to an audiobook. It has to be one I know by heart so that it becomes like white noise and I sleep soo well with that. Maybe you could try either earplugs or your earphones and some soothing non exciting music? Good luck!

Noelle great advice on the nap transitioning. That third nap of the day is our stumbling block too but the after lunch nap is the clincher really. Depending when that is and how long, determines when and if they can have an afternoon nap. Usually our rule of thumb is no sleep after 4:30 and bedtime is 7. But it is hard to do when they wake up at 1:30 and only had 30 mins. Cranky babies are no fun! xx

Ahh the third nap! We are struggling with this too. I feel so lost regarding naps at the moment. His first is always the same, 2.5 or 3 hrs after he wakes. Is usually in the car as we go out but he can sleep between 30 mins - 1.5 hrs. Then after lunch he has another. Depending what we are up to this can be 30 mins or an hour. If that nap stretches to around 3 then he can hold out until his 7.30 bed time with little fuss. Any earlier and there's no way! So then I end up encouraging him into a nap and waking him up 20 mins later! Is so silly really. Touch wood his night sleep doesn't seem affected by it. But I feel like I'm doing something wrong!
I know the best solution would be to stay in and see if putting him in his cot would stretch out his naps and give us some routine so we can drop the third. But genuinely we have classes and visit family and swim etc, so it's very rare I'd be in to do this! Ahhhh

Shadowy - your ped gives great advice. I'm not sure how the American system works but it seems great how you can see an expert at such short notice! Here we have to wait for a referral from a generalist. Although I think your ped may be similar to our GPs. Interesting!

 

[Noelle610]

Sunnie, if she's off her bottles it very well may be teething. That's the worst! Truly hope you have a better night tonight.

Mrs Pear, good luck with the interviews! I completely agree with MrsBeano - daycare and a routine really got Charlotte sleeping better.

Boo, I wouldn't stress too much about naps. If Jack sleeps well at night and he seems cheerful during the day, he is likely getting all the sleep he needs.

We had a rough night. Charlotte was super constipated and she woke up around midnight screaming, poor kid. She went back to sleep after I gave her her paci, but woke 45 minutes later, screaming. I gave her a suppository and we waited for it to work, which it did, thankfully. She happily went back to sleep around 1:30am, but I couldn't fall back asleep! That hasn't happened to me in awhile. I finally took a benadryl and that helped. Being up for 2 hours in the middle of the night is no fun!

 

[daneuse27]

Someone please kill me now. I feel like I cant do this anymore. I thought things were getting better and now they're just going downhill again. Shes not napping, not sleeping and 90% of the time its because of gas! Shes 5 months old and still so gassy, Ive tried every form of gripe water out there, chiropractor and gas drops and nothing helps. Her naps last 10 mins because of it and she constantly wakes up through the night passing air.

I fell ill with the flu yesterday - fever, vomiting, light headed, etc and SHE WOULD NOT NAP. Gas would keep waking her up. I couldnt eat a single thing yesterday because nothing would stay down and shes still been up 20 times a night from passing air. I thought I was gong to shoot myself. Im sorry for the negativity in this post

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Noelle - Sorry about your rough night. It sounds like it may have been a fluke though. I know how tough being awake for hours in the middle of night is.

Angel UK - Sofia's random with the catnap. If her afternoon nap was long she'll skip it otherwise she does cat nap from 3:30-4 pm.

MrsPear - awwww that totally sucks. Good luck with the job application

Sunnie - sorry about the rough night. I always drive myself crazy thinking what causes them. Teething is always a factor even if the tooth is not about to pop just yet. Hoping the eurofen works for Seren (beautiful name btw).

Boo - Our naps are not always at the same time either coz we have activities everyday. I'd like to be consistent but sitting at home does no good for my moods.Regarding your question I'm in Canada and i think our system is different from both yours and US. The pedi is the baby's doctor but she was genuinely concerned about me so she spent 2 hours talking to me and gave me the meds. I also have a GP but i had gone to the pedi coz I had thought Sofia may have an ear infection.

 

[MrsPear]

Someone please kill me now. I feel like I cant do this anymore. I thought things were getting better and now they're just going downhill again. Shes not napping, not sleeping and 90% of the time its because of gas! Shes 5 months old and still so gassy, Ive tried every form of gripe water out there, chiropractor and gas drops and nothing helps. Her naps last 10 mins because of it and she constantly wakes up through the night passing air.

I fell ill with the flu yesterday - fever, vomiting, light headed, etc and SHE WOULD NOT NAP. Gas would keep waking her up. I couldnt eat a single thing yesterday because nothing would stay down and shes still been up 20 times a night from passing air. I thought I was gong to shoot myself. Im sorry for the negativity in this post

Don't worry, you've got to rant somewhere. Everyone here knows what it can feel like, you're in good company. Some days it really does feel that depressing when you haven't slept. And you're sick too You need to take it as easy as possible, hard I know with a crying baby that won't nap, but as much as you can forget all other tasks, housework etc, because you can't possibly cope when you are ill. Big big hugs it sounds like a really rotten day for you. xxxx

 

[Shadowy Lady]

last night was better for us. I took the meds and went downstairs to sleep at 9 pm. I only took half dose though and i think it took me a good hour to fall asleep. I woke up at 3 am in panic induced by a nightmare. I cam back upstairs and laid down next to DH who was peacefully asleep. He did murmur that Sofia woke up at 12:30, had her bottle and went to sleep.

So we both slept after that till 6:30 when Sofia woke up and wanted to be up for the day. I feel much better today but think i will take another night off to get rid of my headache finally

 

[megangrohl]

Lily is waking up every 5 minutes. Not even joking. We attempted controlled crying and when it was DF night she slept in her crib 7pm to 7am. She cried out a handful of times but he went in to console her everytime and she was fine.

Lastnight was my night. That didn't work. She kept waking up every 5 minutes and inconsolable every single time. She cried for 3 hours non stop. I am at a loss of what to do. I am even considering CIO because she needs to sleep and not in my god damn bed anymore.

My doctor said this is nothing she needs, because she is not hungry, doesnt need a diaper change, she is just spoiled (in my opinion) and this is her personality now instead of her actually needing something.

I need to break this habit but if I am going in to do CC it doesn't work because she literally will not settle down at all and just continues to cry for hours and not sleep. What should I do I have done CC, PUPD, co-sleeping which she sttn for so I know she is capable. She just wants to be close to me and I am getting no rest.

Please somebody help me I am so close to checking myself into a mental institution because I am going MENTAL and btw this is using ferbers methods for CC. All I did lastnight was cry myself to sleep because nothing is working and she needs to sleep in her own bed!

I don't get it! She sleeps in there for all of her naps (2 naps a day) and she is fine. Its about 8 at night it all starts and at that point she wants us to go to bed and have her in with us. I am not goign to bed at 8:00 I fkn refuse. Excuse the language I am so close to losing my shit.

 

[Noelle610]

Megan, first, big hugs. I know not everyone will agree with me, but perhaps you need to do CIO. My understanding is that some kids are stimulated rather than comforted by checks and CIO works better and with less overall crying. I think it is hard to stick with though. Do you have a video monitor? It might help for peace of mind, so that you could see if Lilly is settling with an "I'm tired" cry or really upset.

 

[Noelle610]

Also I'm wondering if you need to let OH handle sleep training. If he had success with the Ferber method, perhaps you could even stay somewhere for a few nights. Do Lilly's bedtime routine and get home early in the morning so she knows you haven't left her. There's something about dad. When we night weaned Charlotte she settled more quicly for her father. I also think it's easier for them to be consisten and put up with some crying.

 

[Noelle610]

Danuese, don't despair! We've all been there. Have you taken your LO to the doctor to rule out a medical cause for the gas?


Shadowy Lady, three cheers for YOU sleeping!

 

[megangrohl]

He wont do that. I already told him its causing more pain me going in the room. all he says is that we need to move her crib into our room beside the bed which makes no sense because she already has a playpen there and as long as she can see us she stands up screaming for us until we just put her in our bed and it has to stop now

 

[Lady_Bee]

Well ladies just an update...

Yesterday I stopped walking him to sleep, cold turkey. For the morning nap he took 25 minutes to fall asleep and he got very upset. He basically cried himself to sleep with me rubbing his bum. Nothing seems to calm him at all if I'm not picking him up for a cuddle. I felt sooooooooo mean.

The afternoon nap was much worse!! It took 90 minutes to get him asleep. I made the "mistake" of picking him up quite a lot as I couldn't calm him any other way... Well I think the act of putting him down again and again made him even more upset because he just wanted to stay in my arms. He SCREAMED every time I started to put him down. It was breaking my heart he seemed sooooo sad, I know he really misses the old way of going to sleep. (The thing is, I would do the rocking/walking for him every time in a heartbeat, IF I weren't in such a state from lack of sleep and if he would just go to sleep easily and then stay asleep for longer periods at night... Oh well.)

Bedtime last night, however, was much better. It took us 45 minutes and there were maybe 2-3 minutes of crying in all. I never had to pick him up once. The rest of the time was just him tossing and turning quietly, and sitting up and lying down and fiddling with his sleeping bag... he went off to sleep very very peacefully.

Maybe we got lucky, or maybe he is starting to figure this out.

During the night he woke twice I think! Once at about 9:30 - he went right back to sleep with no fuss after DH told him it was time for night night - and then once at 4:30 for some milk. (We're weaning him off night time milk feeds but had a setback when he was sick last week. He lost quite a lot of weight so I'm giving him milk at night again while he catches up.) It took me an hour to get him back to sleep but there weren't many tears really, just a few minutes. He was obviously frustrated but never hysterical. After that he was up at 7 am. Not such a bad night. I'm still tired but I got at least 7 hours of sleep, woooooohoo.

 

[Noelle610]

So happy to hear about your progess Lady! It sounds like your method of choice is working. I'd continue the soothing while not picking up. I think it's difficult with an older baby, because he's very used to being rocked/walked/fed to sleep and is going to protest any change. Consistency is key and I bet he learns quicker than you think. You will all be happier with better sleep.

I think it's okay to let go of your guilt, too. We have to do a lot of things for our babies that they don't like. Charlotte hates having her diaper changed, having her face wiped and being dressed, but that doesn't mean I can let her go around napp-free, dirty and naked Teaching your LO to sleep on his own is a great skill.

 

[Lady_Bee]

Megan wow that's so rough. I agree maybe CIO if the co-sleeping is not a viable option for you guys (it isn't for me so I totally understand not wanting to. I sleep like crap with my LO in the bed and he doesn't settle next to me I have to bloody walk for an hour and then sneak him into bed like a ninja. No thanks!) as it seems like you really have tried everything and need a break soooo badly.

Big hugs. There is a way beyond this, don't despair. My LO's sleep habits have also had me utterly breaking at the seams lately, it is so hard!

 

[Lady_Bee]

So happy to hear about your progess Lady! It sounds like your method of choice is working. I'd continue the soothing while not picking up. I think it's difficult with an older baby, because he's very used to being rocked/walked/fed to sleep and is going to protest any change. Consistency is key and I bet he learns quicker than you think. You will all be happier with better sleep.

I think it's okay to let go of your guilt, too. We have to do a lot of things for our babies that they don't like. Charlotte hates having her diaper changed, having her face wiped and being dressed, but that doesn't mean I can let her go around napp-free, dirty and naked Teaching your LO to sleep on his own is a great skill.

Thank you, I will try to look at it that way. Part of it is just sadness on my part that the walking isn't working out anymore, because I loved holding him against me as he fell asleep. It was lovely, but I really do think his night wakings are in such a state because he relies on our arms tooooo much now as you suggested. We all need more sleep, so this is for the best...

I hope he does learn quickly!

 

[megangrohl]

Thanks. It is so hard I even slept on all her bedding to have it smelling like me and she still wakes up every 5 minutes unless it is DF going in there consoling her. She will settle for him but not for me. He said he would rather go in and console her every single night like he did 2 nights ago to get her confortable in her room but putting his hands thru the crib bars but he won't do CIO. I told him that when that fails then what? I also said all he is doing is letting her train him, not the other way around.