Really don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by bluehorse, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. bluehorse

    bluehorse Mummy to Grace and Rowan

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    For the second time, breastfeeding really isn't working and it's breaking my heart :cry: I have spent most of today in tears because I can't bear the thought of giving up but by this stage things really should have improved. By carrying on I'm feeling like I'm being a bad mum because Rowan is constantly hungry and putting on weight very, very slowly and I can't really give my daughter the attention or time she deserves. Ironically she gets the majority of my attention when he is feeding (so that's a lot) but there's only so much I can do with her whilst he is strapped to me (mainly reading or chatting with her). I intended to take them out this morning to the park or into town but Rowan started feeding at 7am and wailed and sucked his fist after every feed until 11.30 when I finally managed to put him down and rock him to sleep. He only slept for 30 minutes then wanted feeding again!

    He typically feeds for at least 40 minutes on one side, then 40 minutes on the other. Very occasionally this will be enough to keep him going for between 20 and 90 minutes. Usually he will need both sides again... so it's about an hour and a half feeding, then 30 minutes break and another one and a half hours feeding. He feeds less between midnight and 7ish but still wakes a couple of times and feeds for about an hour each time.

    I think I have tried every piece of advice out there, including taking fenugreek tablets. I did think I had noticed an improvement in the number of times I hear swallowing but the feeds have got even more constant if anything. He's due a weigh-in tomorrow so I'm going to wait til then but I know I'm going to have to start making some decisions.

    Last time round I perservered breastfeeding and topping up with formula until 4 months but I became so depressed about my failure. I promised myself I wouldn't let myself get like that this time round but I can feel all those negative emotions setting in already.
     
  2. Weezie123

    Weezie123 Well-Known Member

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    I think it takes about 6 weeks to get your supply up so I think you're nearly there. It's so difficult and I only had me and the baby. I'm sure your little girl is loving playing at home with you and the baby x Don't feel guilty if you have to stop but maybe give it a few more weeks x I didn't put my baby down for more than 10 minutes for 6 weeks he was constantly feeding.
     
  3. mumatmadhouse

    mumatmadhouse number 6 on the way!

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    I cant really give advice as this is the longest i have managed to BF any of my babies but i wanted to send a hug!
    I can say though that i understand how you feel. I feel very guilty that i spend so much time feeding and worry about not giving the others enough attention, even though i spend a lot of the feeding time as you do chatting and reading with my 3yr old. I just keep reminding myself that its not forever and that things should improve in a few more weeks. I only get a break from LO when she is asleep for a while and DH holds her for me. If i put her down she wakes within 5mins so most of the time she is in my arms or in the sling on me, she wont let DH have her in the sling as she always wants the boob when in there, lol.
    I hope you can make whatever choice is best for you and your family but you are doing great. HUGS xx
     
  4. patch2006uk

    patch2006uk Well-Known Member

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    The first 6-8 weeks are like a constant growth spurt! You're nearly at the end of the worst bits now. Another couple of weeks and your LO should start being a bit more predictable - going longer between feeds, sleeping more at night and less in the day, that sort of thing. Many women give up before the end of the 6th week. My NCT post-natal leader said that if you get past the first 6 weeks, you'll most likely make it to 6 months and beyond, which shows just how hard the first weeks are in comparison to the later months!
     
  5. MrsHedgehog

    MrsHedgehog Well-Known Member

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    My LO is almost 7 weeks old and is starting to go longer between feeds now. The first 6 weeks I was pretty much constantly feeding. I'm not sure how I would have coped with a toddler as well. You've already done so well to get to this stage. Maybe you could take it a day or two at a time. Tell yourself you'll get to the end of the day or the end of the week. It sounds like you're really determined so I'm sure you'll make it.
     
  6. bluehorse

    bluehorse Mummy to Grace and Rowan

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    Thank you so much ladies...your responses are very reassuring. He was weighed again today and had put on 8oz in 10 days and has passed his birthweight by a far bit... I'm over the moon! At least he's putting on weight now, even if he is constantly feeding. I shall hold on in hope that feeding becomes less constant over the next few weeks.
     
  7. MrsHedgehog

    MrsHedgehog Well-Known Member

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    That's great news! At least now you can see the hard work paying off! My LO slept for 4 hours this afternoon! That's the longest she's ever gone between feeds apart from at night. Hopefully it won't be too long before you get to this stage :hugs:
     
  8. mumatmadhouse

    mumatmadhouse number 6 on the way!

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    Great news hun x
     
  9. RainbowGift

    RainbowGift mother of infant twins

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    Don't give up, sweet mama! :flower: You ARE doing it!!!!!! :thumbup:
     
  10. wishingonastar

    wishingonastar Well-Known Member

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    Hun you are doing fantastically :happydance:

    I'm on my second BF baby and until a few months ago I had two children under two so trust me I know how hard it is to have a baby that needs feeding a lot and a little toddler who wants and needs a lot of time too! Try to do things that mean you can sit and feed but also interact with your older child such as going to a small soft play area or parent and toddler groups, rhyme time at the library and so on. Once you're out house you feel you've done something and it usually lifts your mood...if I stay at home all day with both children I feel down to be honest!

    With both of mine the initial 6 weeks approx were mammouth, frequent feeding sessions but it gradually spaced out and then with both I remember noticing at 3/4 months that wow I'm barely feeding LO!!!

    All our positive stories and encouragement is all very well but you are still in the middle of a stressful situation so what I'd suggest is use his weight gain and our stories to keep you going a bit longer but maybe set yourself a goal a little further ahead of reevaluating how you feel about feeding in a week, or when your LO reaches 7 weeks and if things seem to be falling more into place then you may feel better about it :hugs:

    Hope I make sense...am banging this out on my phone!
     
  11. flubdub

    flubdub Well-Known Member

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    It takes around 6 weeks for things to settle properly. It was exactly 6 weeks for me, and I had been feeding LO 23/7 before tha - I was a wreck!!
    Its hard but WILL get better. Give it a couple more weeks :hugs:
     

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