Really struggling now

[Stephytiggs]

I posted last week that I was feeling quite glum and couldn't seem to shake the feeling.

I work nights and since Ive gone back to work after some time off I feel at an all time low.

I can't sleep before my shift bcos its in my mind so I am constantly exhausted on shift. I an terrified pushing myself to stay awake and work is harming my babies.

I dont want to do anything. Even the thought of the smallest task makes me upset.

We can't survive with just one wage so I can't give it up. I just don't know what to do. I am sitting here sobbing and feel to ashamed to tell my family how I'm feeling.

Please help 😢

 

[laughingduck]

I'm so sorry that sounds difficult. How far along are you? The fatigue does eventually get better. Any way you can find a day job? Not sure what else to say.

 

[Stephytiggs]

Hi hun I'm 11 weeks. Even before pregnancy I was constantly exhausted but kept the job bcos of the night shift premiums. My main issue is I just can't sleep properly 😢 x

 

[chezababy]

I think you should speak to a doctor or midwife. There should be something you can take to help you sleep even in pregnancy. There are many relaxation techniques designed to help sleep as well. Counselling may help with any bigger issues (any concerns that are causing the insomnia). Unfortunately insomnia is actually a common symptom of pregnancy but I'm sure you can find something to help and a doctor should be able to tell you what is safe. As I said relaxation techniques can really help if you don't want medication. To start with I would avoid anything stimulating before bed (no phones, internet, tv etc) and certainly don't take your phone etc into the bedroom. Cut out caffeine if you haven't (I know it what we want when tired but it won't help in the long run). Try blackout blinds? Lots of things you can try hun.

 

[Stephytiggs]

Thanku hun. Ive just got an audio book as I find slight background noise helpful so going to give that a go tonight. Been trying to call midwife but she never answers the phone!! If I don't get any better next week after my scan I'll have to go see my doctor. Thanks again xx

 

[Lues]

So sorry you're struggling so much. I would agree with the previous poster, that telling your doctor may help you find ways to sleep better.

I also think you should reach out to your family and tell them how you feel. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Pregnancy is stressful on the body and mind. And the increased hormones give us all kinds of unexpected feelings. Personally, I think you should be very proud of yourself. A lot of people would go... I can't do this. But it sounds like you know that in order to do best by your family, you need the money from the night shift. (I'm not disagreeing that finding a different job would be ideal, but sometimes ideal isn't an option)

You're doing the best thing you can do for your family. And it's hard for you. But you're doing it anyway. That is FAR from something to be ashamed of.

And I wouldn't worry about the baby. Mother Nature is pretty smart. She knew that pregnancy would be stressful, so she made sure that the baby was well protected.

Much of the hype about stress being "dangerous" is just that.... hype. I mean, again, ideally, sure, no one would be stressed...ever, and certainly not during pregnancy. But (A) Worrying about worry is a vicious cycle and it puts undo stress on YOU. And (B) there is really little evidence that stress has any real negative effects on an unborn child.

So my personal opinion, talk to your family, talk to a doctor, see what help is available for you. But don't just do it for your baby. Do it for YOU.

And most importantly, there is certainly nothing that you should be ashamed of. You're struggling. Many people take advantage of sleep, not realizing how much it holds them together. If you're not sleeping, it's going to make you feel shaky, extra fatigued, and somewhat out of control. That's not anything you can control, so it's certainly not something you should feel guilty or ashamed of. It's not just psychology, it's BIOLOGY!

What you're doing is hard. But you're doing it anyway. Be proud of that.

And keep us posted on how you're doing!

 

[Stephytiggs]

Thanku so much lues 😘 for taking the time to reply to me in such a way. Ive discussed it with my husband tonight but he is more concerned that I won't be bringing money in if I can't cope with the job, and not about my emotional state 😣. I have just changed my shift to have it reduced by three hours. If Im still struggling next week I'm going to have to tell work its not helping. Thankfully they have been supportive of me.

Thanks again xx

 

[Lues]

Sorry his response wasn't super supportive. I know you're both worried about the same things. But it would of course be nice if he made it clear that he was more focused on YOU.

They print more money everyday.

If you can't function, you won't be able to make ANYTHING. You have to be your first priority. Because without YOU being in line, nothing else will work in the long run anyway.

Seriously, keep me posted. I'll be sending you good vibes that you at least sleep tonight!

 

[Stephytiggs]

I just had a go at him for it cos he annoyed me. Hes always been like that, he doesn't realise sometimes. I will hun thanks again for your support xxxx

 

[jenny873]

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[Stephytiggs]

Hi jenny. Nights is a nightmare whilst pregnant isn't it. They're bad enough usually with the tiredness but first trimester exhaustion on top is just so difficult to handle. I do four nights in a row, I just look forward to my days off to sleep as much as possible xx

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I'm sorry this is so hard for you right now... I typically work until 1am but I couldn't cope with it in the pregnancy so I shortened my hours as well and it has helped some.... I hope it helps you too!

 

[Stephytiggs]

Thanks hun,Ive shortened my shift now to finish at 7 am which is helping considerably xx

 

[Harley Quinn]

I'm glad shortening your shift has helped. I've not worked nights before, but I did see a counsellor about depression early on in this pregnancy. Never had struggled with depression before, but I was just so sad and not wanting to do anything - it felt different from the "regular" tiredness and hormones I'd experienced in my first two pregnancies.

Just want to put that out there - if you feel like you might be even slightly depressed, it's worth telling your doctor/midwife and seeking counselling (especially if you aren't received the emotional support you need at home).

Hugs!