really upset

[dakron67]

af has just arrived with a vengence,the bloody thing is 8 days late, iv been sick over the last couple of weeks, boobs hurt, tummy bloated (has done immediatly when iv found i was expecting the last 5 times). iv also had a clear out of my wardrobe n am having to sell all my size 6 clothes finding it really hard to accept that i can't get into any of them as i am now a size 12, 5 pregnancies and i still haven't got a baby to hold , all i feel is that it's like m/cing all over again, i was so happy up untill this morning i had really convinced myself that it was going to work this month.

 

[Mom23monkies]

God Bless you hunni
It is sooo hard in the ttc process
even harger after losses
I have had three mcs and do worry sometimes it will never happen, But I am able to pray about it and today I have peace.
My SIL announced last week that she is pregnant, and she is a terrifically fantastical person and deserves it so much (and she has lupus so things may be difficult for her) She has held my hand thru three miscarriages and she is a nervous wreck and my brave fase is firmly glued into place. I am happy for her but its sort of bittersweet at the same time
at first I felt like my baby had been ripped out of my uterus again but now I am ok
I got my af full force friday
so I am eating chocolate and meditating

 

[babyanise]

so sorry hun

 

[dakron67]

thank you girls, i was speaking to a lady the other week whom i was helping to do a house clearance with, somehow we got onto the conversation of pregnancies n misscarriages, she is a great believer in angels n the saints she said praying helps, Saint Gerard Majella is the patron saint for pregnant mums and Saint Ambrose Barlow is the patron saint for people needing help for anything serious/emotional, this lady says he's brill believe in it, im trying so hard i pray every night, but nobody up there seems to be hearing me, good luck to you both thanx again...donna x x x

 

[FutureMommie]

I am so sorry that AF showed, and about the Mc's I can not even begin to imagine. Do Dr have any idea as to why you continue to miscarry?

 

[dakron67]

no ideas as yet as to y i keep losing our babies, iv been refered to one of the best hospitals in the uk, im due for my 2nd appointment on the 25th oct, will get the results from my blood tests which were taken nearly 8 wks ago such an awful long wait, and as my husband couldn't come to the 1st appointment, he will have to have bloods done then an we will have another 8 wk wait for his results, so just sitting here now feeling totally fat, depressed and useless...lov donna xxx

 

[Mom23monkies]

thank you girls, i was speaking to a lady the other week whom i was helping to do a house clearance with, somehow we got onto the conversation of pregnancies n misscarriages, she is a great believer in angels n the saints she said praying helps, Saint Gerard Majella is the patron saint for pregnant mums and Saint Ambrose Barlow is the patron saint for people needing help for anything serious/emotional, this lady says he's brill believe in it, im trying so hard i pray every night, but nobody up there seems to be hearing me, good luck to you both thanx again...donna x x x

He is listening, we may not think so sometimes but he hears every prayer we utter or think.
I am going to pray for peace for you right now.
For me I have found that I cannot move on truly untill I am fully ready to put it in his hands and beleive he knows whats best (which is sometimes difficult for me because he may not have planned what I want in the time I want it)
But I will also tell you that when I am finaly able to do that thats usualy when I get what I want.

 

[serendippy]

Big hugs to u Dakron xxxx

 

[Sienna2012]

 

[dakron67]

thank you girls,mom23monkies, yeah i know he listens but wish he would now, was hoping for a bfp before xmas, didnt feel able to celebrate last yr as our 1st little bean would hav been a year old on the 26th dec, feel the same about this year, my hubby is saying we should try n move on, but i cant, despite having two dogs(staffies who r really my husbands as they r not my type) my hubby allowed me to get a border collie pup to keep me ocupied ,i was diagnosed with really bad depression wouldn't,couldn't n didn't want to do anything, but since getting him i try on a good day i will walk him for 2/3hrs at a time, although i don't manage to do this as often as id like, he has been a real god send, can be a bit of a pain sometimes cant even go to the loo without him following me to the bathroom n sitting with his head in the crotch of my knickers(lol) looking at me with his big brown eyes as if to say don't worry everything will all be ok... donna xxx

 

[Mom23monkies]

thank you girls,mom23monkies, yeah i know he listens but wish he would now, was hoping for a bfp before xmas, didnt feel able to celebrate last yr as our 1st little bean would hav been a year old on the 26th dec, feel the same about this year, my hubby is saying we should try n move on, but i cant, despite having two dogs(staffies who r really my husbands as they r not my type) my hubby allowed me to get a border collie pup to keep me ocupied ,i was diagnosed with really bad depression wouldn't,couldn't n didn't want to do anything, but since getting him i try on a good day i will walk him for 2/3hrs at a time, although i don't manage to do this as often as id like, he has been a real god send, can be a bit of a pain sometimes cant even go to the loo without him following me to the bathroom n sitting with his head in the crotch of my knickers(lol) looking at me with his big brown eyes as if to say don't worry everything will all be ok... donna xxx

OK please forgive me for laughing but I just pictured this beautiful border collie with his head in your knickers and laughed at work

Depression is difficult I work in Mental health I see the effects of untreated depression all the time. I hope your getting help and have a good support system.

BTW I have a dog who follows me all over the place since i got pg this last time (mc in aug) the only reason she dosnt follow me INTO the bathroom is because I lock her out lol
But things will get better I promise
I had a mc in Dec 08 Triplet angels gone on to heaven
Another in June 2010 Twin angels
and then one in August 2010
I was asked why I keep going one day and I told them "Because I HAVE to"
IT WILL get better
Listen to the dog

 

[mpepe32]

I feelyour pain and I hope you find out what's the cause.

 

[dakron67]

thank you girls, mon23monkies, oh hunny im so sorry for your losses, well we will just have to keep our chins up,( n me my knickers from my collie pup lol,), ido hope the saints and him upstairs listens, had a bit of a bad day today feeling really down in the dumps, went for a walk n whilst i was out i prayed n asked for a sign that he was listening n that he would send me a baby, got no sign, so changed the question to if im never going to get the chance to become a mum give me a sign and guess what i got a sign so now gutted that maybe im never going to get the chance to have a baby, this is the 2nd time this week, the other day i felt so depressed i went n had a bath so that i was alone i cut my arm n leg, im having counciling but i don't kno how much longer i can go on, i feel everybody would be better off without me, my hubby although i lover him with all my heart he could find himself a younger woman who could give him the chance that he deserves to be a daddy... sorry to go on... love donna xxx