Really want to BF... but young mum and have questions!

[Blob.]

So I am going to give breastfeeding a try with help from the midwives then see how it goes when home. I am only 19 and just concerned that people will look at me for doing it in public?! I might just be being silly but I'm worried about doing it in public or when people are round.. I know its natural but maybe it is an age thing?!?

How did you cover up? And was it easy?! Also, we are going to a wedding quite soon after he is born would it be acceptable to do it there? what about restaurants?! I know I shouldnt worry about what people think but there is juat a part of me that does, but I am determined to do it! I dont want to have to plan all our days out around me not wanting to do it in public!

xx

 

[tommyg]

Hi you can be very discrete if you want to be. I am going to a wedding in 2 weeks and fully intend to BF when I am there, as did a guest at my wedding.

OK she was an experienced mum who managed to BF in the church under a pashmina wrap thing I never heard a sound out of her 3 month old all day. As I walked down the aisle I noticed her, pashmina & hubby no sign of baby and somebody else commented the same and we concluded baby was under that pashmina having a feed!

I guess at the end of the day God created us all and breastfeeding and if he created it then it has to be acceptable in his house, the church.

I've not done it in a restraunt but I've done it in cafes, normally with my back to the majority of the room and a wrap over me for privacy. I've no issues with doing it in front of my friends or family but for some reason I hate being in the same room as FiL doing know why.

 

[Betheney]

ok i am 23 so not THAT much older ;-) but i am very conscious of feeding out in public and my bubba is exclusively breastfed. i don't mind other women that do it the more power to them but i just can't myself.

Okay so the things i do to help myself feed in public

1. Use a Muslin blanket to cover yourself i find all other blankets and sheets and stuff are far too HOT with a baby under them me and baby get incredibly sweaty. My muslin blanket i bought from a fabric store and its 1.5m wide and 3m long i was originally going to cut it into smaller blankets but i now love its massive size! fits all the way over the pram and all around my body and if its cold it can be folded many times to be a warmer blanky. I simply tuck the muslin into the strap of my bra on my shoulder and drape it over the baby and over myself, it can make it hard to see the baby but you kind of shuffle it around to make a little peep hole.

2. finding breastfeeding rooms! i found that MANY shopping centres (in Aus anyway) have breastfeeding rooms and i now shop at those places because of the convenience. Have you gone into any of the baby change rooms? you might be surprised to find breastfeeding rooms inside them.

3. YOUR CAR!!! i find BF in my car a very comfortable spot to do it so wherever i am if there is no where to feed than i just whip back to the car and feed Eva there if people walk past and notice well i'm sure they appreciate my attempt at discreetness. I've gone back to my car during dinner, during a shopping trip and most monday nights at indoor soccer

4. Feed bubba before you leave. Eva goes 3-4hrs bewteen feeds and if an hour or 2 have passed since the last feed and we are due to go out then i will feed her at home so i have another 3-4 hours till i need to again.

5. Get the hang of BF first, My major problem was the coordination of holding the baby and wrapping a blanket around us and all that crap!! as i got used to feeding her at home with pillows i was useless without them and found holding her on a seat with no arms incredibly difficult. But once i got the hang of doing that and feeding on chairs with no arms it made it easier when i had to do it in public.

6. ASK PEOPLE!!! i ask many people if there is somewhere i can privately breastfeed. I've used a meeting room that was near the function room for my work christmas party, MANY bedrooms that belong to all sorts of friends and their families. This week i used a photocopy room at a high school LOL as i was at a lunch at the school and i didn't want to flop it out in front of everyone eating.

7. BF tops. I have singlets that unclip so i can feed however this leaves the top half of my boob on show, a few people wear tops and pull them up but then i don't want my flabby gut on show either, so i wear my BF singlet under any top i want and when i need to feed the top goes up and the singlet goes down

Hope i helped!!! i'm sure i did as you have a very similar attitude to me towards BF, My last resort is feeding in public with my blanket around me and even that i've only done probably 5 times maybe. This is also coming from someone who is out 5 out of 7 days at lunch with friends or dinner or the movies or parties or mothers group or nursery rhymes at the library or swimming. I'm the only mother at mothers group who hasn't fed infront of the others and thats because i always feed her at home before i leave and excuse myself if i need to do it somewhere else. You will probably find tho you relax around people close to you. So i hang out with my girlfriends a LARGE amount nearly everyday and i really don't mind BF in front of them so the majority of the time you are with people you are comfortable with.

good luck

LOVE

 

[sept2010]

Agree with betheney...im also 23.. As with the last point abt tops... Many peoplee jus get normal vest tops.. Mayb a size bigger and wear under a normal top. Normal top goes up n vest top down.. That way u stay covered x

 

[CeriB]

Don't worry hun - I'm 29 and still scared to BF in public! However, I agree with Betheney - some fab pointers!!

 

[austinsmom]

Great tips!!!
I'm young as well... and when I was 19 and had my first child, I quit BF because I was afraid of the stares. Worst mistake... I was very upset that I didn't stick with it just becasue of what someone else may have thought. A few years later, I met a good friend who was 19. And she BF her DD everywhere. I was so jealous, lol. I wish I would've had the strength to do what she had done. Fast forward... I now have a 2 month old that I just BF where ever I go. I'm determined to make it work. I'm also extremely shy... so, it takes alot of guts to BF in public.
I guess what I'm saying is... if you really want to BF, you will, you'll make it happen!

 

[lynnikins]

i was 22 when i had my first son and from the day we got out of hospital i was feeding in public, i used my pashmina/shawl and wore a button down top and a vest underneath so you couldnt see anything it was annoying sorting his latch and things at first while in public but i soon got used to it and people dont stare lol one of my husband best mates is funny when im feeding and he arrives and doesnt realise that im feed whilest sat on the sofa caus im pretty discret about it even at home lol and he will start to walk over then realise what im doing and go red and turn away lol it cracks me up all the time.
most people dont care ive fed so many places now including on airplanes ,buses, the underground, i find when im feeding in public im more focusd on what me and EJ are doing than on what ppl around are looking at,

go for it and give it a try, find your local bf peer support team and a friend whos comfortable being around you when feeding and take that friend with you when u go out so if you have to feed they can sit opposite you n distract you and make it all seem as normal and natural as it is

 

[Bucket]

Good on you for wanting to breastfeed. It is very easy to be discreet once you get the hang of it. Don't bother buying all those daft breastfeeding tops with holes in etc. - here's what I do, and people always comment on how discreet it is...

Wear two stretchy vest tops that can easily be pulled down to reveal your boobs without pinching. Wear them one on top of the other. When you feed, pull the top one down, and then hitch the bottom one up, leaving just a gap for your baby to latch on. Once baby is on, you can adjust the tops as necessary to fit snug next to his/her face so that none of your boob is showing at all. Check out YouTube for people demonstrating the technique (as it's a bit hard to picture from words).

The vest top technique also works well under a nice dress if you're out and about - just wear one underneath the dress and make sure the neck of the dress is "easy access" (wrap top, deep V neck, lycra, etc.), then pull the vest top up when you need to feed.

It's totally normal to feel a bit embarrassed/self conscious at first in public, but I promise after a few weeks you'll be whacking 'em out without even thinking! Helps to be with someone else the first few times, as there's safety in numbers (even just a non-mummy friend will do).

Hope that helps! xxx

 

[LauraBee]

I'm 17 and I BF in public all the time, because I'm out all the time.

I originally covered over with a muslin cloth, but it was pretty difficult to do unless I had a friend helping. After I while, I was confident enough to just get them out whenever she needing feeding.

To answer your other questions, I BF in McDonald's almost every Friday and I've BF in more expensive restaurants too. I also went to a wedding a couple weeks ago and BF there. [In the UK] it's illegal to move on a BFing mother - if your baby is hungry, feed them, screw everyone else. I actually get praised by other mothers (young & old) who FF, even when I don't know them.

Getting past your initially concern will do you well, I'm proud to BF in public! The only time I ask people if they mind is when I'm in their homes and feel they may be uncomfortable (eg, my mom's partner's parents, like indirect grandparents to me). A lot of the time, people are fine with it.

 

[Pixxie]

I'm 20 and BF, I've never had anyone say anything bad about me feeding in public (but had a few good things said!) and you can do it very discreetly if you want to. I find wearing a vest under my top works well, pull the vest down and your top up and you only expose exactly what you need to, baby's in the way so nobody gets an eyeful!

Personally I found that after a few weeks I just didn't care and would feed her whenever, wherever and not care if anyone got a glimpse of nipple! In fact now I wish someone WOULD say something bad about it so I can have a go at them!

BTW if you are in Britain it is illegal for anyone to ask you to leave a public place for breastfeeding xxx

 

[Blob]

Being a young mum doesnt make you any different to an older mum breastfeeding I was 19 when I had DD1 I was too shy to feed in public so I took her to feeding rooms when we went out... I REALLY wish i'd had the guts to feed her in public though. Now at 22 with DD2 I feed her everywhere and anywhere I dont give a toss what people think

I would say just wear tops that allow you to feed easily... keep a bump band on at all times. Its comfy but also doubles so that you can lift up your top to feed without showing any skin of your back. If you're feeding in public first time pick a place where you can sit in the corner with your back to people. you will do fine dont think age is a barrier to anything. It doesnt make you any less of a parent and any less able to make the right decision.