I had DS 3 years ago. We've been NTNP for almost a year, but I'm still scared of being pregnant. right around the time of ovulation, we might BD 1-2 times, but I didn't push to do it at the optimal time. Then I worry about being pregnant.
I'm almost 34 yo. There isn't a lot of time for me to wait. And I don't think I will ever be more ready by waiting. That's why I want to ttc even if in scared.
I had a relatively smooth labour though I can still remember the the different types of pain very vividly. I had a bad pregnancy but I also know it could have been much worse. It wasn't like I had sciatica or major illness or even had to keep waking up for the bathroom. But I had morning sickness all the way through. My blood pressure was low so I was constantly dizzy; I fainted once and luckily some guy was there to catch me. To top it off, I had severe perinatal anxiety that wasn't diagnosed until 3 months postpartum, which gave me panic attacks 4-6 days a week 5 months into the pregnancy until DS was born (and then it kept happening after the birth high went away, but anyway). I couldn't leave the house for pretty much the last half of the pregnancy because of the panic attacks.
I'm not sure how to deal with an extremely clingy yet super active preschooler while dealing with low blood pressure, fainting spells, panic attacks, and nausea (I have a phobia of nausea and throwing up, last time I took diclectin all the way through but I still felt mildly nauseous, this doesn't help with the panic attacks). Not to mention the constant hunger that can only be semi fulfilled with certain food because most food made me gaggy. All while trying to feed and care for a toddler.
Most people tell me they get so busy with the toddler that they forget about feeling bad. But I tried being busy last time and it just made me faint.
I thought I was ready last month, and then I got sea sick and nauseous for a week. It reminded me of how I felt while pregnant, and suddenly I wasn't ready again.
And I'm not even thinking about how to deal with 2 kids postpartum while there is a really likely chance of having PPA, PPD and PPOCD again.
Anyone been through the anxiety and found a way to let go of the fear and ttc for more kids anyway?
I'm almost 34 yo. There isn't a lot of time for me to wait. And I don't think I will ever be more ready by waiting. That's why I want to ttc even if in scared.
I had a relatively smooth labour though I can still remember the the different types of pain very vividly. I had a bad pregnancy but I also know it could have been much worse. It wasn't like I had sciatica or major illness or even had to keep waking up for the bathroom. But I had morning sickness all the way through. My blood pressure was low so I was constantly dizzy; I fainted once and luckily some guy was there to catch me. To top it off, I had severe perinatal anxiety that wasn't diagnosed until 3 months postpartum, which gave me panic attacks 4-6 days a week 5 months into the pregnancy until DS was born (and then it kept happening after the birth high went away, but anyway). I couldn't leave the house for pretty much the last half of the pregnancy because of the panic attacks.
I'm not sure how to deal with an extremely clingy yet super active preschooler while dealing with low blood pressure, fainting spells, panic attacks, and nausea (I have a phobia of nausea and throwing up, last time I took diclectin all the way through but I still felt mildly nauseous, this doesn't help with the panic attacks). Not to mention the constant hunger that can only be semi fulfilled with certain food because most food made me gaggy. All while trying to feed and care for a toddler.
Most people tell me they get so busy with the toddler that they forget about feeling bad. But I tried being busy last time and it just made me faint.
I thought I was ready last month, and then I got sea sick and nauseous for a week. It reminded me of how I felt while pregnant, and suddenly I wasn't ready again.
And I'm not even thinking about how to deal with 2 kids postpartum while there is a really likely chance of having PPA, PPD and PPOCD again.
Anyone been through the anxiety and found a way to let go of the fear and ttc for more kids anyway?
just wanted you to know that you're not alone!
