Recently found out I am doing this alone..... Anyone else?! Scared. Sad.

[HopefulMarla]

So,

When I found out I was pregnant it was unexpected, but highly wanted. My partner and I were in love (or so I thought) so even though it moved things along. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I wanted and would spend my life with him.... But then there were so many complications with the pregnancy! They thought it was ectopic, then viable. All you ladies know that the wait is enough to make you lose your mind! And I was! I was freaking out on him, and threatening to leave to get responses from him. I was just losing my mind with worry. Well, I think he officially got sick of it because he left me today. I know that there were three times in the last three weeks where I was not very kind, and said things I didn't mean. But I never thought he would leave me. He wants to be part of the baby's life, but I don't know how to do that without being in love. Heart ache is scary enough, let alone pregnant. I'm so scared. I don't want to do this alone. I don't want our child to one day after to split holidays. I'm only seven weeks. I'm so sad. Anyone else alone? Advice? I feel a bit lost

 

[HelenJane]

Awww that sounds like enough to stress anyone out. Your nnot alone.
Dony be scared, everything will be ok just look to friends and family for support.
Are you sure it's definitely over? Maybe when he has had chance to think about everything he will realise it was a stressful time for both of you and now its settled he might think differently. Im sure he knows how sorry you are, just give it a bit of time xx

 

[Rickles]

I agree with pp. If you need to go it alone, you will be fine. But I think I'd give your ex a bit of a chance to cool off. I'm married, but the first tri definitely tests our relationship. Luckily OH knows it will pass, but even I can see I'm a bloody nightmare.

xx

 

[george83]

I would give your oh time and see what happens, it has probably been a stressful time for him too.

My first baby was very much wanted and planned for but even so a month after I fell pregnant my oh started getting distant. For reasons I won't bore you with now we basically separated and I too was devastated. I'd never wanted to do it on my own, I was angry with my oh for doing it to me and I was still in love with him and didn't want to let him go. I found that focusing in the day by day was the only way I got through, forgetting about the future and what might happen as we weren't there yet helped. You'll be amazed at the strength you find inside.

 

[modified]

My husband walked out on me when I was 15 weeks - we're back together now. Give him a bit of time but, if he doesn't come back, you most certainly can do this alone

 

[ashlee2916]

with my ds, i went through it alone all the way through pregnancy and until he was about 6 months when i got back with his dad!
it was hard, but i absolutely loved it, it was just me and my son is this perfect little bubble with no body to interfere or tell me what to do! me and my son were inseparable!
you can do it! xx

 

[HopefulMarla]

Ahhhhhh ladies thank you SO much! I'm such a wreck this morning. I woke up, and felt shocked. I really am so in love with him! And I want us to do this together. I hope he comes around. I mean. He has to come around. The fact that he is doing this is very very shocking. He never even led on that this was what he wanted. I'm confused, exhausted, and hormonal. Plus I quit smoking when I got pregnant. I would literally do anything for a cigarette. Hah. Man oh man. I hope I can do this alone. Having a big belly and no longer having anyone to run and get food, and cuddle. Just sounds lame :/ I'm 26. I should really have this together! Thanks for listening

 

[moomin_troll]

With my first I had anti natal depression, I was constantly angry, stressed out and afew times I tried to get him to leave me or told him I was leaving. I pushed him to his limit, but luckily for us I decided to go doctors and was sent to counselling. I went once and my stupid mw said if I didn't get better they would hospitalise me, so that scared me into saying I was fine...anyway I digress lol
He might need time, sounds like u need to talk.
But u can do it alone if needs be. My oh died when my son was 2, a week later I found out I was pregnant. I was at my breaking point and then to find out not only was I now a single mum, but a single mum of two. My youngest is now 2 1/2, I find myself looking at them both, thinking wow I've done it.
And so can you

 

[cookette]

Have you acknowledged your out of line behavior and apologized to him?

 

[HopefulMarla]

Yes. Of course I have

 

[ToughhGal]

Hey sweetie. Hang in there and let him cool off and try to tell him you are terribly sorry and would like to explain your actions to him. I know about this personally because just a few weeks ago I was kind of doing the same thing. I pushed OH away and really didn't realize what I was doing.

First trimester is NOT easy and very tricky but you will pull through. Even if you have to be a single mummy, things will go exactly how they are meant to be. Hope you get to feeling better

 

[HopefulMarla]

Aweeeeee thank you hun! I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm just frustrated because there was no build up. He didn't tell me he was upset or anything ya know? Plus I had a good job, and he told me not to take it because he was going to provide. Now I have no job. No money. We were suppose to be getting married soon. I'm just like hmmmmmm. Oh well. Gonna take care of me and my little baby! I've been saying sorry to him. All the time. I just did two days ago, and asked him to be fragile with me, and understand where I was coming from. :/ baby daddy issues. Haha

 

[ToughhGal]

Yea, men are so difficult to open up sometimes! But definitely focus on yourself and breathe. Don't cloud over him but make sure he knows your sincerity.

 

[Ambermichelle]

Hey Hun just wanted to let you know that I'm going through a very similar situation. I'm a bit further along, but the baby's father left us when I was about 5 weeks. We were together for a very long time and he decided that he doesn't want to be apart of my life OR the baby's life :/ the best advice I can give is apologize for what you've done and give him time. I haven't spoken to him since he left and don't plan on it unless HE initiates it. I'm giving him the space he needs and just hoping that he'll come around..but, I'm not expecting it. I'm still very much in love with him, but things will work out. I've been preparing to be a single mom and to tell you the truth, it sucks. But, I'm trying to find the positives in each situation I face. That's the only thing we can do just be patient. He may come back, he may not. But either way, it will be okay.

 

[HopefulMarla]

Thank you Amber! I looked into resources for single moms today. He still wants to be here the whole pregnancy, and be here for the baby. Idk how I can do that, and not be with him. He said he wants us to stArt from scratch. To try to figure this out as partners before we figure out a relationship. Idk how I feel. I felt good all day, and came home and just. Wanna cry I think ahahah. Ugh. Gotta be grateful for my baby though!

 

[HopefulMarla]

Just giving an update!!!! We figured it out. OH came home from his trip and we worked it out. He just was feeling as if I didn't love him anymore. So I gave him extra love and reassurance. We have some things to talk about, but all in all we are still more in love than ever! Yay! You ladies were right. Preggo freaked for no reason

 

[pinkcatgirl]

Really pleased to hear you guys have talked it though! Hope it all goes smoothly from now on!

 

[friendcrystal]

Aww yay! So glad to hear the good news.

 

[HopefulMarla]

Thanks ladies!!!