Recently separate-how do you cope with upset 3 year old?

[anteater]

Hi,

I separated from my husband 5 weeks ago and tonight is the first night our 3 (nearly 4) year old cried asking for daddy (We also have a 1 year old boy). She was overtired and circumstances were different tonight because usually I collect them from my ex's mum's house (where he is staying) but today they spent the day at our home. I came home just before bedtime and he left.

It was awful and I didn't really know how to handle it. I just said I know she wants him and she will see him the day after tomorrow.

Any tips please?

 

[ClairAye]

Although my son is younger I've had the screaming/crying for him. As FOB hardly sees them I just have to ignore it, but before then I just told him that daddy was at work or something. He also found a framed photo of the three of us and started taking that to bed for a week or so, it made him happier seeing even a photo of him.

Not sure if this is any help sorry as I don't know 3 year olds!

 

[moomin_troll]

My situation is different as my sons dad dead, but you just in my opinion need to listen to what she has to say. Let her tell u why she's upset, give her a big hug and say "I know your upset and miss daddy, but you will see him on x day"
She will get used to it, and also try to use it against you.
You'll know the difference lol
Maybe get her a calendar and go through it and put stars on the days she will see him, if you feel he will keep it frequent and the days he says

 

[Kayley]

I get this from my 3 year old daughter sometimes. Normally when she has spent the day/afternoon having fun with her dad and I turn up to take her home and 'ruin' her fun. Its heartbreaking and I say to her its time for her to spend time with mummy and her sister and reassure her she will have fun with us and will see her daddy again soon. Then I make sure I distract her from her thoughts by reading her a story or playing a game with her (if its early enough)

I'm sure she does it for her dad on occasions as well - when I go to drop her off at her dads she often crys she doesn't want me to leave.

As time goes on they will get used to it =)

 

[stardust599]

We split in April. DD is nearly 4.

THe first 3months were really hard. DD often seemed angry at me and would cry asking for her Daddy - especially at bedtimes/during the night etc. Once ex got his own place and we settled into a routine of fixed days it's been easier.

I think my LOs found it even harder when I allowed ex to visit here as they just oculdn't understand why he couldn't come over whenever. I didn't have an answer for DD when she asked why Daddy couldn't come over. Once he had his own place and the days were set I just answered "No, it's Daddy's time on XX" and they were happy with this.

Now we have a fixed arrangement (Weds and Fri 3-6pm one week and Fri 4pm - Sun 4pm the next week) my LOs know when they are going and never ask for Daddy at any other time - they've just accepted it and are happy to go and happy to come back x

 

[dauchep]

Although my son is younger I've had the screaming/crying for him. As FOB hardly sees them I just have to ignore it, but before then I just told him that daddy was at work or something. He also found a framed photo of the three of us and started taking that to bed for a week or so, it made him happier seeing even a photo of him.

Not sure if this is any help sorry as I don't know 3 year olds!

I had a friend who is separated, then her 3-year-DD once came to me and told that he thought his mom was hiding his dad and it was not fair.

I was speechless, even I wanted to explain everything to him.