Recurrent Miscarriage Thread

[confuzion]

So sorry ttcbabyisom. Wish you a quick recovery from your D&C and hopefully answers from the karyotyping. And like petpitas says, it will let you know whether the treatment plan will hopefully still work or if something different will need to be done. You will get through it and come out on the other side with a rainbow. Keep the hope alive.

 

[SweetV]

I'm so sorry. I had 2 losses before my angel was born in January and have had 2 losses since. There is hope! At least that's what I keep telling myself.
So so sorry for your loss.

 

[SweetV]

How do you guys react when you find out you are expecting? I had a friend with a late second trimester loss and the minute she found out she was pregnant again burst into tears and refused to accept the pregnancy until she was past her loss milestone. I can't help but be super excited every single time. I try to tell myself it won't work out and not to even think about it but I can't. I'm instantly in love and my heart is broken every single time I hear the words "nonviable" or "no heartbeat".

 

[Tasha]

SweetV I was similar to your friend after Honey died but as my loss was at 36+6 I did change before that point. Latel I've been the same as you x

 

[confuzion]

SweetV, I was like you until loss #3. With loss #4, I was very pessimistic from the beginning. Never really let myself be happy. Assumed the worst. And the worst happened. And now I think I will continue to be that way in every future pregnancy until I make it past first trimester. One day!

 

[ginny83]

ttcbabyisom - I'm so sorry It's extremely hard to keep going and I've vowed to stop on more than one occasion and then time heals things a bit and ive somehow found the strength to try again.

I think having the D&C and getting the baby tested is the best thing to do in trying to find some answers. I was "lucky" in that 3 of 4 of my losses were able to be tested and they were all normal, so I think that is a such a huge indicator of immune issues, even though all other tests came back normal (except for a biopsy testing for nk cells). In saying that I still had to spend a long time finding a dr to support me in this, I was still being told by a lot of drs that it was just bad luck and because all the other tests were normal it meant there was nothing to be treated for. To be honest, I find this part of the journey (finding a dr willing to support you) just has upsetting and draining as actually losing the babies.

 

[ttcbabyisom]

So sorry, hon. If it helps, we lost our fifth in the 8th week and had it (him) chromosomally tested. After that, we went for immune therapy and were successful with our sixth pregnancy. I know others who have had success even later down the line
You are doing absolutely the right thing by getting the karyotyping done. It should give you an idea of how to continue with either answer (repeat treatment if abnormal, change something if normal).

All the best for the op tomorrow and so sorry about your loss

thank you so much for that. i will talk to my doc about it.

 

[ttcbabyisom]

How do you guys react when you find out you are expecting? I had a friend with a late second trimester loss and the minute she found out she was pregnant again burst into tears and refused to accept the pregnancy until she was past her loss milestone. I can't help but be super excited every single time. I try to tell myself it won't work out and not to even think about it but I can't. I'm instantly in love and my heart is broken every single time I hear the words "nonviable" or "no heartbeat".

I am this EXACT same way Sweet! I can't help it either. :-/

 

[ttcbabyisom]

ttcbabyisom - I'm so sorry It's extremely hard to keep going and I've vowed to stop on more than one occasion and then time heals things a bit and ive somehow found the strength to try again.

I think having the D&C and getting the baby tested is the best thing to do in trying to find some answers. I was "lucky" in that 3 of 4 of my losses were able to be tested and they were all normal, so I think that is a such a huge indicator of immune issues, even though all other tests came back normal (except for a biopsy testing for nk cells). In saying that I still had to spend a long time finding a dr to support me in this, I was still being told by a lot of drs that it was just bad luck and because all the other tests were normal it meant there was nothing to be treated for. To be honest, I find this part of the journey (finding a dr willing to support you) just has upsetting and draining as actually losing the babies.

if that aint the truth...my doc seems willing to go the extra mile for us...so hopefully he gets us there!

 

[Squig34]

Sweet V, I am pretty removed when I get pregnant. I don't get excited although there is always a little hope trying to squeeze its way in. I was totally gutted after my first mc so I've never let myself get that excited again. I'm still disappointed & upset by each subsequent loss. Numbers 1 & 5 were probably the hardest.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Tasha & ttcbabyisom,

I'm so so so sorry. Big to you both.

 

[loeylo]

Sorry for not posting for a while. I have been really busy (changing jobs right now, and I have a really strong chance of being made permanent which eradicates some of my worries about becoming pregnant as I don't get mat pay right now!)

Tasha - I had peeked on here a few days ago and was really hopeful for you, the sac doesn't look good but hoping for a miracle regardless!

Ttcbabyisom - sorry for your loss! Hopefully it was just chromosomal and you can continue on your plan. Have you been tested for chromosomal abnormalities before?

SweetV - I get really excited, but I guess not as excited as I should. I'm naturally an anxious person anyway, but I have decided to be happy for the pregnancy regardless how long it lasts. My partner was super excited with my first pregnancy, nervous with my second until we saw the heartbeat then he got excited, but was devastated when we lost it, so on my third pregnancy he basically blocked it all out.

I got my testing results back for clotting disorders. Antiphospholipid and factor v Leiden were negative, they are still waiting for thrombophilia (I am sure that is what she said but I thought apl and factor v were forms of thrombophilia?) testing but she said the lab might not do that one as she isn't actually request it, and it could take another two weeks.
We can try again as of 24/11 (12 weeks post methotrexate) but I am due to ovulate around the 21st. I have been on folic acid, omega 3, vitamin d and low dose aspirin (self medicated) for nearly 2 months - I had to stop due to the methotrexate. Obviously three days isn't goin to make much difference, so I guess ttc as of next week is fine as the egg won't be released until pretty much when I am okay to try again. Hats your opinions on trying this cycle or waiting one more? If I wait for my December cycle I will be in the two week wait between Christmas and new year. I'm so conflicted!

 

[dairymomma]

Loeylo-I'm not saying whether or not you should ttc again a few days sooner but just throwing this out there. I had methotrexate after my 3rd loss since it was suspected to be ectopic (followup tests showed it was a mmc, not ectopic) and was told not to ttc for 3 months/3 cycles whichever was first. We were wtt but life happens and I got a rather shocking bfp just 10 weeks after my m/c. I was terrified that the metho would cause issues but my dr said it was probably out of my system enough and it wouldn't cause problems. That bfp is now a happy, healthy almost 5 year old boy. If you feel up to ttc, then I'd say go with your gut.

ttcbabyisom-I'm so sorry for your loss. RMC is not something I'd wish on anyone. I've had 8 losses overall and it's hard. I still don't have concrete answers (though we are slowly finding pieces of the puzzle), but not having answers is the worst. I've always felt like if I could know why this keeps happening it would help me understand. I'd have something to blame, in a way. And I'm also thinking of my kids. I have 2 daughters and a son and if this is something genetic, then it could affect their fertility. If I can find out what's going on, then maybe they won't have to go through this themselves.Needing that answer is really what keeps me going. I do have to say that having my kids has helped too.

On the convo about how to approach a new pg after rmc, I get super freaky excited for about 2.2 seconds but once the reality of what I'm facing in the next 10 weeks hits, I fluctuate between denial and panic. My first 15 weeks are terrible because I tend to bleed, have cramps, typically don't get past 10 weeks but I've also had a 14 week m/c so I basically don't breathe until I hit viability. My last pg was especially hard. We upped my progesterone dosage and it seemed to make my anxiety/panic even worse. The only thing that helped was the fact that my dr was extremely encouraging and let me have scan whenever I wanted-which ended up being about every other week. I think I've conditioned myself to think this way because my losses have hit me hard and I've struggled with PPD and depression as a result. In denying that I'm pg (aside from taking daily progesterone and baby aspirin that is), I'm insulating myself from at least a little bit of the hurt that I know will come if I do m/c. Does that make sense?

 

[loeylo]

Dairymomma - thanks for the insight. I had the methotrexate 10 weeks ago yesterday, and I am on day 6 of my cycle. We will be going for a relaxed approach to ttc. - my partner doesn't want to officially try, but is happy to take a relaxed approach to contraception. This is how we fell pregnant last time, but I will probably end up charting and jumping on him during my fertile window!
I really feel like I need my next baby to be my rainbow. The first I put down to bad luck, really thought we would be okay the second time and I was gob smacked when I miscarried again. Then I thought third time lucky and I have a completely unrelated ectopic. So many women don't have to go through losing even one baby, but I need to do it three times, it is so unfair. I can't imagine how the ladies who have gone through even more than me feel. No one should have to go through this!
I am still not at peace with any of my losses, and I don't think I will be at peace until I have a little perfect mix of my genes and my partners genes. I am unbearably broody right now sorry I am just feeling sorry for myself. Watching a show about premature babies right now, probably a mistake!

 

[dairymomma]

I am still not at peace with any of my losses, and I don't think I will be at peace until I have a little perfect mix of my genes and my partners genes. I am unbearably broody right now sorry I am just feeling sorry for myself.

This is how I felt after my 3rd. Not only had a lost my 3rd pg in a year but it had been an emotional rollercoaster what with being told certain miscarriage (due to VERY low hcg) and having the scan show a probable ovarian ectopic pg, needing treatment for said ectopic, worrying for a week that my ovary was going to burst, then having the dr say "Not ectopic" after my next scan. I truly felt like I couldn't go on ttc if my next baby wasn't my take-home baby. DS was a very welcome rainbow and having him helped heal so many cracks in my heart. Hopefully your next pg is your rainbow and all goes well.

 

[loeylo]

I also didn't actually need the methotrexate, as agreed by the nurse at the recurrent miscarriage clinic. I went in with a stabbing pain at 5+2, my hcg was over 3000 so they scanned me and saw a mass in my tube, so I had methotrexate. I'm sure the pregnancy was actually tubal - I was scanned for a good 20-30 minutes and it was literally the only thing they could find, plus my lining was barely thickened. I went boak to get my baseline reading 4 days later and my hcg dropped to 480. Usually it goes up after methotrexate, and my pain directly matched my miscarriage pain. A bit frustrating as we could have tried before now, but I guess they need to err on the side if caution!
I am quite frustrated as yes, they have ruled out clotting disorders, but that just means that I am not getting any treatment for anything and there is still a plethora of thing which may or may not be causing me to miscarry. I'm sure it is chromosomal, but they won't test for this until I have another loss. I don't want to have to wait and go through another loss!

 

[Momys]

Hi ladies,

We just found out that our baby had died I was supposed to have been 17 weeks yesterday (Monday) but when I couldn't find the heartbeat on Fri, Sat and Sun I called my midwife. Fri and Sat I really thought it was just user error or that Baby was hiding. By Sunday I suspected that maybe there might be a problem. I was right. I went to ER after she couldn't find it either and the tech said that it looks like Baby died around 13/14 weeks. However, I know we heard the heartbeat at 15 weeks, so about 2 weeks ago. I'm absolutely and utter devastated. This is our 4th loss in a row. Four losses in the past year!

I just want to crawl up in bed and sleep for 3 weeks. I want this to be over and done with. I don't want to wait for Baby to be born, and yet I don't want a D&C either. It just want the whole situation to go away. I have been crying so much and at teh same time trying to keep some kind of normality for our other children, too.

With my first loss we found out at 8.5 weeks. I started bleeding and the u/s showed that Baby died around 5 or 6 weeks. The second was very early. The 3rd I had a little bit of bleeding that stopped but after the previous losses I went in and it turned out that I was 11 weeks but Baby stopped growing at 8.5 weeks.
I didn't get excited at all this time until after our 13 week ultrasound. I was trying to guard my heart. I feel like I've been punched in the gut, like I can't breathe properly.
I honestly cannot believe this has happened again

After my 3rd m/c our naturopath did some hormone testing (across a full cycle) and my progesterone came down a little low.
With this pregnancy I took a supplement and then at 8 weeks they discovered a subchorionic hematoma that was fairly large and touching the placenta in 3 places. The tech was concerned that it would affect the placenta. By 13 weeks the SCH was 1/2 the size and now considered small. The placenta had moved and they were no longer touching.
I really believed we were out of the woods especially when I heard the heartbeat at 14 and 15 weeks on my home doppler.
I guess not

I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through the next few days/weeks. I need to decide if I want a D&C or if I just want to stay and home and wait it out. That is what I did with the last one and it was such a healing process. I'm not sure I can face it again, though

My dh is also leaving for the States next week for training. We live in Canada. He is willing to not go but I know it is really important and I might very well not start the birthing process until later anyway
At the same time I really don't want a D&C

I just really don't want to deal with this

 

[petitpas]

Momys, so sorry for your loss
Apologies for being a little indelicate, but have your doctors spoken to you about finding out the cause of death? Here in the UK they would offer full investigations for any loss after first tri. I'm not sure how it works at your gestation and I don't know whether it is something you even agree with but with earlier losses the only way to test for genetic abnormalities is to go for a D&C.
If it helps, I've had five D&Cs and I found them surprisingly easy to deal with. I wasn't in any pain and woke up without feeling sick or groggy with minimal discomfort and bleeding after.

Whichever way things go, I hope it happens soon so your husband is there with you to support you

 

[ab75]

So so sorry Momys.
I agree with petitpas about the d&c. I felt ok physically after all mine xx

 

[Squig34]

So sorry for your loss Momys.