Reusing name of miscarried children. I need opinions.

[LuxAeterna]

Before I got pregnant the fourth time, after losing my first son, had my rainbow baby been a boy I wanted Greyson Allen Duncan, and for the longest time that was the name I was set on. Then I decided just before my gender u/s to go with Henry Allen Greyson. I just liked that name better.

I don't see any problem with reusing a first or middle name of a child lost as a middle name for another child. But as a first name? It's not something I would do.

 

[pippi_89]

That is a very personal thing and we will all have our own opinions but I wouldn't do it myself. My SIL planned to reuse dd#1s name for her baby two years after we lost her (thankfully hers turned out to be a boy) and it was awful. It felt totally disrespectful.

What about a variation of his name? Or I know a boy whos actual name is Junior.

 

[jenmcn1]

That's a very personal choice. If it were me, I wouldn't use the names. 20+ weeks is quite far into a pregnancy to lose a baby, and out of respect for the mother and your boyfriend I would find new names.
That's jut my opinion, if you are set on using the names I would use them for a middle name IF your boyfriend has peace about that and in honor and memory of that specific baby.

 

[wannabemomy37]

If it was your angel baby it'd be different, but since it is another woman's angel baby then I think it's tough to decide as it depends on how she would feel about it.
At 20 weeks the baby is already a little person so I'm not sure I'd be able to name 2 of my children the same exact name but I do like the ideas of variations or just naming him Junior.
There are a lot of names that mean "son of (father's name)" such as the name Andrew...Anderson means "son of Andrew" so perhaps looking into something like that?

 

[Boo44]

If it was your angel baby it'd be different, but since it is another woman's angel baby then I think it's tough to decide as it depends on how she would feel about it.
At 20 weeks the baby is already a little person so I'm not sure I'd be able to name 2 of my children the same exact name but I do like the ideas of variations or just naming him Junior.
There are a lot of names that mean "son of (father's name)" such as the name Andrew...Anderson means "son of Andrew" so perhaps looking into something like that?

I totally agree with this. If it was your angel baby then you could reuse it if you want to it would be a very personal decision. However it wasn't your baby. Surely it would be like, oh original X has been replaced with new X. That sounds harsh but really, that is exactly how I would see it...

 

[emyandpotato]

If it was your miscarried child then it would be fine. But it's someone else's and that could be just too painful. She's going to see a child with her child's name with her child's father and that could be awful.

 

[babyjan]

If it was your miscarried child then it would be fine. But it's someone else's and that could be just too painful. She's going to see a child with her child's name with her child's father and that could be awful.

Agree with this completely!

 

[Sophina]

Did you say your OH is already a Junior? So if his father is Name, your OH is Name Junior, and the twin your OH lost was Name III, maybe your baby could be Name IV? Then you could use the same name, but not be erasing the previous child.

I agree that if the angel baby was Name III then naming your baby Name III would sort of be like replacing them, but maybe choosing to honor that lineage by saying older brother is Name III but younger brother is Name IV might work without being too hurtful.

 

[RubyRainbows]

This is a tough one. Firstly, I would never agree to naming my child a "junior" name in the first place.

But, that's not the question at hand. I agree with the others. This would be too cruel to do to that other mom. And a sad reminder to your OH, too. I think I read one of your other posts that said your OH looks sad when the subject comes up. Naming your baby should be fun, happy, joyous. Why pick a name that brings up old wounds?? I say embrace the moment and find a new baby name you both love - and stop dwelling on the other name. He already has a "junior" who unfortunately passed away.

 

[hairftsher]

I personally think it would be extremely disrespectful to the mother of the twins. It doesn't matter how the relationship ended but put yourself in her shoes.... if you use the name of her baby it would almost be as if the original Jr didn't exist. And that's terrible. And as the saying goes karma is a b!t¢h...

I agree with this as well.

 

[mh_ccl]

Normally I'd say not to use the name, but since your OH wants to name the baby after himself, I think it's a different situation. This is not some random name that he and his ex came up with, this is his name and his desire to carry on the full name. I think it's OK to use the name.

 

[Tasha]

I would be gutted if my DH and I split and he used any part of our stillborn girls names. I get that it is his name too but to say he wants to name a son after himself would feel like he was denying the son he already named after him.

 

[victoria1987]

I agree with what a pp had mentioned about the mother of the deceased twin... my gosh if that were me and I had lost a child, then had my partner have a child with another woman and give him the name of the baby I lost it would break my heart! I know that it was his child as well but seeing as he is having a baby with someone else, you run the risk that she won't see it as him memorialising his baby, but another woman taking something very special from her (the name of her baby that died).

 

[babyjan]

Is it just me or was a there a post deleted? I'm there was a lengthy post after Tasha?