Right to be angry?!?

[LuckyMama13]

I have been angry and haven't spoken with a sister-in-law since the 17th of August. The story... I have two children- ages 11 and 6 and I found out I was pregnant on the 15th, a total surprise. So after telling my husband he said to go ahead and tell his family. He has 5 sisters and his mom. His mom said congratulations and his first four sisters as well. His eldest sister, immediately said "oh my god, are you going to keep it?" I told her what are you even talking about? Of course I am. She said "I think you should consider an abortion." I was so angry. This is her niece/nephew. I told her abortion is not even acceptable in our religion so how could you even consider this. And she argued and said its completely acceptable.

While everyone stands by my side, they think I should just accept this as a part of her and her rashness. I do not however and absolutely refuse to speak to her again especially since the following day she posted online in Facebook saying that I was "mentally sick" and she hated those that supported me as well. This had everything to do with the words exchanged during the fight. She said it's a mistake and I told her that SHE is the mistake. She is not stable at all, mentally or emotionally and always fights with every member of the family without cause. However, I feel that while everyone stands by their own opinions, if you know someone is absolutely against abortion and you hurt them by saying so, you owe them an apology. She has NEVER apologized to anyone before for any reason despite how wrong she is. And she said that she never will say those words to anyone. I don't care if she wants to support the idea. I don't, and this is MY baby, so she should be conscientious to that fact

 

[dollyemi]

What a terrible thing to say, absolutely right to be angry. She owes you an apology. I wouldn't bother talking to her until she has apologised, even if it means she doesn't meet your baby.

 

[LuckyMama13]

I already told my husband the same thing! I said that if she feels this child shouldn't exist and should have been destroyed then she has absolutely no right to even set eyes on this child after he/she is born.

 

[Eleanor ace]

What the heck! She sounds unballanced. I wouldn't want to have someone like that in my life- I couldn't deal with the drama. I'd just avoid her tbh.

 

[Button#]

Whether you agree with it or not is not really the point. You're obviously excited about your pregnancy and it's a hurtful thing to say to anyone in that position.

 

[LuckyMama13]

Honestly, I've been in multiple fights with her during my 12 years of marriage to DH, but this was the worst. She know's the situation and how stressed life had been. I lost both my Mom and Grandma to cancer in the same month 2 years ago and just discovered that my father also has stage 3. I told my father first, and he was so excited and it gave me hope that he will be happy and hang strong. He misses my Mom terribly and this has given him something to look forward to. And she knew I already told my kids, and they are EXCITED. So with all of this happiness, how can she say something so cruel especially knowing everyone is looking forward to this?

I have made the decision that she is a negative influence and toxic to be around and that I am far better off with this new wall standing between us. The rest of the family will just need to accept it.

 

[Kalabear]

wow I'm in shock someone could say that. I don't even know what to say. I don't believe she has you in her best interest...best not to give her the time of day. Perhaps one day she will understand how hurtful she was...I truly hope she does.

Don't let it get to you (way easier said than done!) enjoy your beautiful family and your pregnancy!

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

 

[kategirl]

Don't let her get to you! I have a very toxic, mentally unstable SIL as well. She will lash out at family members (especially me and her in laws), keep my BIL from seeing his family, and post nasty things on Facebook. I've decided that I will be perfectly pleasant around her in person, but will ignore everything she says and does because it's not my fauly and it's not anything I can change so I need to just ignore it.

She also really wants kids but hasn't been able to have them (but has had one early MC/CP). I understand her frustration and I really feel for her, but she lashes out about that as well and I'm scared to tell them about this pregnancy since I know she'll lash out again (her outbursts aren't always child related, but it is one of the themes of her outbursts now that there are grandkids in the family).

And was your SIL thinking it was wrong of you to have another child since your two are older? That's silly! My father's siblings are 12, 10, and 6 years older than he is, my husband's siblings are 12, 18, and 6 years older, and my cousin just found out she's having a surprise when her kids are 13 and 10. As long as you're okay with it, who cares?

 

[cookette]

She has a right to believe in abortion, even if most of us do not. However, its RIDICULOUS and RUDE to say that to you. Especially once you said you wanted to keep it, she should have shut her face right then and there and the whole thing should have just moved on.

 

[miss_kseniya]

Can I just ask...as she is one of 6 siblings, does she also think her own mother should have stopped at 2 kids and therefore terminated her other pregnancies? It seems like an extreme reaction from someone who has so many younger siblings.

Sorry you're having to deal with this, but it is her issue and you should continue being happy about what is clearly a happy occasion x

 

[LuckyMama13]

Thank you all so much! and for the congratulations! And congratulations to you all as well! I just can't understand her way of thinking in the least. I wasn't trying to say that NO ONE should agree with abortion- just in my own opinion after seeing videos of the process and she knows well how I feel about that subject. And since she knows I am obviously against it, it shouldn't have even been brought up.

Kategirl- I'm sorry you are going through something similar! I usually get along fine with everyone and rarely do we quarrel (the rest of the in-laws.) Her own mother has said that she needs an evaluation done, so that must mean something is off.

miss_kseniya- I have no clue! She's invites drama and loves to fight with anyone about everything...maybe she has a jealousy of her other siblings? She isn't married (her choice) and has never wanted children of her own. She's always talked badly about her other siblings as though everyone does wrong and she is perfect. And she always holds herself away from the rest and then blames them for it. Honestly, I just couldn't tell you why.



Thanks everyone for the show of support. I just don't like for them to say "Accept it and move on" and that it's just how she is. Because she continuously has these excuses put up for her she thinks it is okay to say whatever she feels without a filter. I pray everyone else has better in-laws! lol

 

[mod19]

I think you described my sister! She's never said anything that horrible to me, but when I got pregnant 7 years ago, she asked "are you sure you're pregnant and not just faking it?". After I had emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy I wanted to scream at her "DO YOU THINK IM FAKING IT NOW B****?!?!?!". But I'm better than her so I didn't. I have learned to take EVERYTHING she says with a grain of salt, even if it does upset me its just worse if I react. Everyone knows how she is and no one believes a word she says anymore. It'll bite your sil in the ass...karma is a bitch.

Excuse my language.