Role of OH during birth - suggestions?

[Seity]

My husband didn't have to do anything except drive me to the hospital and be present. There really wasn't anything I wanted or needed him to do, but I had a fast labor. The first half I was in constant pain, wave upon wave of continuous contractions, too much to notice anyone in the room and the second half I was 100% pain free and comfortably watch TV while I waited to be fully dilated (Walking epidural, I love you!).
I did require he take a picture of us right away.

 

[elly75]

I'd have to agree with your OH being your advocate. Sometimes when you're in labour or if you are really up on medication or pain, you can't really express yourself very clearly. If he knows your wishes, he can watch out for you and speak up for you.

 

[chuck]

My hubby was pretty useless in the hospital there was nothing he could do I was flat on my back on a monitor and he wouldnt come to theatre with me.

I hope yours is less sqeamish.

Give him jobs to do!

 

[KandyKinz]

I've been too several births as a doula and then as a midwifery student and thought I'd first mention things things partners should not to do if they want to be an active and positive part of the birth!

#1. Husbands SHOULD NOT comment that their wives sound like a cow and then moo everytime a contractions started (it happened!)

#2. Husbands SHOULD NOT leave every 15 minutes for a smoke break!

#3. Husbands SHOULD NOT pay more attention to the tv then their partner!

#4. Husbands SHOULD NOT spend the majority of the labour text messaging!

#3. Husbands SHOUD NOT cower in the corner like scared wounded animals!


On the flip side husbands should be there to provide continuous support and encouragement and remind you how much they love you and appreciate you. It's completely individual what that actually entails. It's absolutely perfectly fine for him to get in the tub with you... It's fine for him not to. Really it's what makes you happy. I think if I could have improved my husbands labour support performance I would have definitly had him be more hands on and verbal (and this is highly dependant on the woman and her labour!) but for me a more hands on approach would have been greatly appreciated... But it is definitly hard for men or anyone for that matter to feel comfortable providing labour support.. cause there is bound to be times they are gonna get snapped at for not "getting the right spot" etc. And even in my training despite feeling adequately prepared ahead of time it took several births until I felt comfortable in the labour support role and I had already given birth myself twice before! It takes a strong person to keep trying and start and stop whatever they are doing at a drop of a dime without taking the constructive yet harsh criticism personally! There's a book called the "birth partner" by penny simkin and it's absolutely phenomenal at teaching people how to be a good "birth partner." I highly highly recommend it.

I also agree that the partner also has a very important role as being your advocate at a time when you may not be able to voice your opinions for yourself. A good birth partner should be more familiar with your birth plan then you are as well as your opinions on some of the more common and occasionally unnecessary interventions. A good birth partner can and will stand up for you.

 

[LittleMrs]

Thank you Kandykinz - can't believe the mooing. Actually, scrap that, I can.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

My OH job was to do cross word puzzles lmao.

He didnt really know what to do, for me wasnt much he could do for me.

He rubbed my back slightly, he helped me to the loo, he let me hold his hand & pass me water & hold my sick bucket about it.

 

[Newt4]

My OH will be very active in my birth. His job is to make sure I exhale during contraction. He is to keep me relaxed and in control. He is to encourage me and support me. We actually practice relaxation techniques every night.

Note I am planning a drug free birth.

 

[hinkybinky]

Are you going to go to ante-natal classes with OH? We found that they were a really useful starting point to discuss what his role would be. For example, we learnt how he could support me during contractions, things he could be saying to encourage me or remind me to do, we talked about whether he would want to watch the baby being born, cut the cord etc. Before them he had little idea of what labour entailed but since the classes he is so much more clued up. Can highly recommend! (we did the NCT classes that you pay for, but worth every penny).

 

[emilyjade]

my OH gave me a drink and patted my head a few times lol! i think he was too shocked more than anything else because he went to work on night shift came back in the morning to me shouting at him to get an ambulance and him seeing our little boys head lol!

most important for me in labour was a drink the gas and air made me so so thirsty and made me feel sick x

 

[LittleMrs]

hinkybinky - been thinking about the NCT classes because the ones in our local area all seem to be on during work and I'd rather go outside of work. Glad to know they're worth it

Emilyjade - been worried about feeling sick since I read about other people being sick. Think I'm going to have to try and go drug free as far as possible (I'm not delusional about this - I know the chances of managing are slim and I'll probably change my mind once the pain kicks in - I just hate feeling sick with a passion).