~S.T.L<3~*Lots of babies, Adoption and Waiting for Beth's BFP! <3

[AndreaFlorida]

Here ya go Jenn!

 

[calebsmom06]

Thank you I can never get them to come out right lol Guess its the blonde hehehe

 

[AndreaFlorida]

....I now have diarrhea OMGOSH an its sooooo bad....I know TMI I wonder what is wrong with me

 

[calebsmom06]

Awwww Andi I hope you feel better this morning:/ When do you hear back from the doc?

 

[waiting2012]

First off--Andi--that doctor better have answers for you hun!! I mean, geesh, what's a girl gotta do to get some answers anymore???

Jenn--sounds like you had an awesome time! I'm so glad your 1st anniversary was so nice hun!!

Beth--It sounds like you enjoyed your birthday! How are you feeling cycle wise??

Tanya--I can't wait for you and Jenn to have your babies!! I feel like I've been pregnant with ya'll and am just as anxious to meet Cameron and Emma--I'll take the "Tag-a-long Pregnancy" over the real deal right now, cause like Jenn--103' today--and I am glad that I'm not big and pregnant right now!! Plus, giving birth??? You can keep those contractions and braxton hicks...... Now that I said all that---WAIT TILL I GIVE MY "AFM" UPDATE!

Mandy and Amanda--How are you ladies?? Morning sickness still being a bother???

Ok...Now for the Oh My F'ing God....
I layed in bed last night and a lot of things went through my head--none that were really pregnancy related until the dh mentioned (because I was laying there with a cold towel across my chest and complaining how bad my boobs hurt--our a/c is going caput in our bedroom) and anyways he said--well, they are huge! I was like well thank you... he asked me how I was feeling because he was concerned that I felt warm and had been a bit nauseas over the weekend--which yeah I was--but I didn't think anything of it..I asked him what he remembered of my spotting with Adrian--since he remembers the weird shit I don't--I remember bleeding--clots and all with her but I don't remember the spotting that occurred long before that..So he was like you spotted off and on through out the first trimester besides the clots and bleeding..OK Then I asked if I cramped when that was happening--He said he couldn't remember... Today being day 5 (fri, sat, sun, mon, today) I have used 2 tampons, and 1 1/2 pads...I cramped 1 day (actually it was saturday night)..I am pretty sure something passed--cause afterwards I stopped cramping.. Well, I decided to "fudge it" and called Dr. Hodde's office--I wasn't supposed to go in till later this week, but crap here I've been taking Soy, B6, Iron, (flaxseed once) what if I shouldn't have been, ya know what I mean...So anyways, I called and spoke to his nurse this morning and they got me in first thing--worked out good since my toddlers didn't show up until 9:30 almost 10..I was back to work by 10am.. When I got there--I told Dr. H about my spotting and "flow"--he said well how many pads have you gone through in the past few days--I said 2--he said that's not a flow...it is considered flow if you are using upto 5 pads per day.. I explained most of what I see is on the tp--he said thats still not a flow..I told him about my labs on friday--he got his nurse to call over and get their numbers..GET THIS...I shit you NOT! He got the numbers---122 miu... He said, "your pregnant and its not uncommon to spot"--he told me if its pink or brown its ok..He also told me to STOP taking the soy--I haven't done any damage as of yet because like the B6--it does stay long and that's why a lot of times it takes time for it to build up and the body to take advantage of the extra...I looked him the eye and told him that I was told my hcg was 12... He said his nurse got told 122... They faxed the labsheet to him--and I'll be f'ing damned--he showed me and it was a f'ing 122! So he drew more blood, checked my cervix, etc... he didn't do an u/s because I told him I would wait and see what my levels were the second time... I can't f'ing believe that they told me it was 12--when it wasn't...He figures whoever I talked to looked down and misread it...There's a lot of f'ing difference in 12 and 122... So F' me coming and going... Can't carry a baby right and can't m/c one right either... Dr. H said to not worry--I told him I worked yesterday--had NOTHING on my pad when I got home except for a brown speck.. Showered and put a new pad on last night--still have that same damn pad on right now--NOTHING on it, but when I wipe--this pale pink color... I should have done another hpt..but shit--I figured why waste the money...LOL...
All I know is I'm not changing my darned ticker again, till I'm the size of a f'ing school bus with a herd of screaming kids!

So..I told you it was a nice doozie.... Here I thought the nausea and nearly puking sat morning, sunday morning, monday morning, and this morning--was just par for the course--new for me--but shit, like we always say--what is normal?? I nearly shoved Adrian off the toliet because I almost threw up on her this morning while getting ready for work... Now I know why...

Just keep the prayers coming ladies...I think a round of prayers for everyone would be good... Andi and her woohoo issues, Mandy and her m/s, Tanya and Jenn for them babes--HURRY UP AND GET HERE!, Beth and her family's financial, and emotional well being, Ashe on finding the new home, the previa and just being able to relax, Amanda--I'm not sure what she needs prayers for the most--but whatever it is--just pray ladies... As for me-- I wouldn't know where to begin.....

 

[calebsmom06]

STEPH- That is Amazing! You are still pregnant! You havent miscarried! I can not wait until you take another test and see the big fat pink line! When will you get the results back from this latest blood draw? I am cautiously excited I pray theis is it for you!

 

[waiting2012]

Thanks Jenn..But I am not getting overly excited yet...I'm pretty ticked about the whole lab thing...I wouldn't have used the Soy--I've been taking 200mg for the past 3 nights and I can't find anywhere if its bad or good--all I can go on is what Dr.H says... I trust him and all but damn it... ... I should know something possibly as early as tomorrow, at the latest thursday or friday.. He won't be on on thursday (I wish I could have his hours--vacation and days off during the week..LOL) so he was hoping they'll be back tomorrow.. Keeping my fingers crossed, but not keeping my hopes up... I don't know if 122 is good or not--def not compared to Brooke's numbers-- I was so dumbfounded, I didn't think to ask if they were good numbers or not..But he's a regular family doc not my OB/Gyn so I'm not sure if he would know the numbers other than that they are high enough to be classified as pg... I'm going to try and test--but Jason dropped me off at work after my appt. and he was headed to his orientation at the nursing home.. We will just have to see... But I appreciate your warm thoughts hun...

 

[calebsmom06]

Looking forward to the results What did Jason say about it?

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Praying for you Steph!!

....been a bad day for me but I think AF is coming as temp has dropped really low! Me and DH ...had this huge argument that ended with him pushing me into the truck in front of my babies so I left an haven't talked to him since. I think I'm done...what if I'd been pregnant...then he called me a STUPID B**CH...soooo I'm done for a long time of trying and I don't think I'll be going to the class tonight....I really think I've had enough right now....I'm done

 

[waiting2012]

His exact words....

"Told you so. I didn't think you were miscarrying anyways."

Needless to say that just pissed me off more--first he's the most insensitive ass around, and then its he's mr. know-it-all...ASSHOLE....

 

[bnporter81]

Wow, Steph, that's both amazing and also absurd that someone can't even read freakin' numbers right!I have no idea about what numbers are good and what's bad...I've always just taken a hpt, gone to the doctor, gotten an early ultrasound and gone from there so I've never been told any of my hcg levels I hope your spotting stays at a minimum and your little bean stays put

Awww, Andi, I'm so sorry It's so bad to do something like that anyway but in front of kids that makes it 10 times worseStupid a$$ men! I hope you're okay and that you can get everything worked out. We're here for you!

 

[waiting2012]

Andi....Man, I'm speechless! ...Has he ever done that before? I ask because about 2 years into our marriage, Jason lost it, and did something in front of Adrian and like you I up and left with the kids... He agreed to counseling and being taken to a hospital by the sheriff even though no charges were pressed and found out he is Bipolar (his mom is too--and so is most of his dad's family)--no excuse but we worked it out and he's not done anything like that since--but I understand where you are coming from...I wonder if it was something else that had set him off before your arguement--has he tried to call or anything?? I'm soooo sorry you had to go through that! and in front of the kids--Wes was at school and Adrian being so little--there is not much they remember as to why we ended up staying with his aunt while he got help--but I think Wes kind of knows why...

I can't tell you to stick around and "see what happens", I'm glad you left... Some think I should have just left Jason, and not looked back, but he was willing to figure out why he went off like he did, and I'm grateful for the fact he did and I'll be honest he knows I'll leave him for good if he EVER goes off again on one of those types of tyrants...

I'll pray even harder for you Andi... I hope this is something you can work through, no matter what though--this is not an easy decision to make and one that should not be taken lightly..I certainly don't take it lightly...

Lots of luv!!

 

[AndreaFlorida]

Yes...he keeps calling and calling and woke Trysten up ......so I finally answered an he was like so are you coming to the class tonight....I was like I don't know if I want to anymore no more kids should have to see their mom being talked to like shes a complete idiot and no kid should hear her husband/ their step dad/dad....being called a stupid B nor being pushed into a vehicle like a rag doll I told him I'm not sure I'd let him know my decision in a few hours...hes still at work and my moms coming to get the kids. This all happened on base I'm surprised no one called the cops on him b/c several people saw this happen....it wasn't like we were in somewhere we were in the middle of his work parking lot. I drove there for his lunch after my sons doc appt this morning for his psycologist....I wish I'd never went while at the BX my kids saw this lady have a seizure an it was the most terrifying thing ever ....so they have lots of questions about what happened....my poor Tyler was in shock! Then the whole argument thing...I don't know...maybe I shouldn't get more kids right now maybe its just not a good time but we got their mattresses today Serta's an they were 250 a piece.....soooo I duno if I wanna just take the bed and everything else back or what at this point I'm so stressed out I duno...

...and YES he's done something like this before thas why I'm not sure I want to trust him anymore with myself or my kids. I wanna just leave this whole situation for a long while an let him get some help for himself. The first time was MUCH worse than this one....the first time I was just getting over the Swine Flu....for the 2nd time I had it in August and again in October.....of 2009. I was sooooo sick....and he drug me across the floor...I had rug burn all over then he pushed me into the bed then broke the bookshelf at least he broke it and not me?!?! I duno...he almost got kicked out of the military for that one. The first shirt came and saw all my bruises b/c a lady who worked with him...I confided in her an she turned him in.....which I don't blame her I'd probably done the same if it'd been someone else in my shoes.....but I duno if I want this anymore....I did this with my ex husband and I damned sure don't wanna do this for the rest of my life and my kids DEFINITELY do not need this either sooo honestly my moms coming over for a talk about the whole incident....Jason got mad b/c I threw my ID card (and the winds blowing crazy here) soooo it went flying down the road and I didn't want to go get it...I said our whole marriage is a joke so why not end it.... he made fun of me today....then tried to apologize....I said I only accept apologies when something was truly not done on purpose to hurt another person soooo he got mad an things went from there....he was yelling things at me like "I'm not gonna bow down to you, I'm not gonna kiss your feet, and I won't be wiping your a$$ like your parents...blah blah" all whilst my children are in the car...so I got really pissed an said CAN WE PLEASE GET A GRIP AND PRETEND TO BE ADULTS right now....an he said NO I DONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU etc.....thats when I got outta the car an threw my ID an he then shoved me into the truck FML....I give up!

 

[bnporter81]

Andi, I'm so sorry...my exhusband was abusive to me most of the time we were together. He had told me he was bipolar when we first got together but I was only 20 so I didn't know what that really meant. Anyway, he said that he was supposed to be on Lithium for it, but he wasn't. He got mad sooo easily. Nothing I said or did was ever right. I don't know if anything has happened with the woman he's with now but that's not my problem anymore. The only thing that is my problem is when our daughter goes over to his house....I'm just glad that she's old enough now where she can talk to me and tell me what all goes on around there

I hope you can get it worked out, but ultimately yourself and your kids are what matter. Hopefully he can get some help for his anger and get straightened out.

Thinking and praying for you, hon

 

[waiting2012]

Andi- I guess you can see we have all had a similiar situation and everone handles things different... I am going to say this but only because I want you to know if I was in your place what I would do, it is in no way to tell you what you should feel or how to handle the situation.
1. I would call him back and calmly tell him that the class, as important as those girls are to you, they cant be as important to him. He wants to be a daddy to those two little girls but he pushes his wife in public and belittled her. No one said he has to bow down and kiss your feet or arse for that matter but how he would feel if the woman being treated so unfairly was his daughter or worse his
mother.
2. You would be completely condoning the treatment he gave to you for your sons when they are adults. You will not allow your sons to see, or hear such belittlement of a woman.

3. Your life, your sanity, your children mean more than what he can offer..... He thinks he can talk shit and you will be fine with it.. He thinks"she stayed last time or came back befire-nothing to lose"
You need to show him what he stands to lose.

I cant tell you what to do about the beds..

 

[waiting2012]

Sorry my phone froze up...


Maybe ask what he thinks you should about them... i dont know..

 

[Kahlan83]

Hey Ladies.

Let me just say...Steph, I so have my f'x for you!

Andi, my god...are you okay? I'm glad you left...it takes a lot of strength to do that. I'm glad he didn't do anything more serious. Your in my prayers girl...just remember...You are a miracle!

Tanya, I'm glad that Little Emma is still going to have a chance to get a bit bigger.

Well went for my first OB appt today and I absolutely love him. He's got a big of an accent but he's so nice and he wants me to go for a VBAC for sure. Said I have a 70% chance. He actually got mad at how they went about breaking my water and putting me on pitcion for Matty and said that it was definitely the contributing factor for me having a c section in the first place.

He had a hard time finding the HB s he sent me for an U/S to as he said it "put my mind at ease". Everything is perfect btw so no worries. The lady was really nice, gave me like 5 pictures.

I go for my Level two on July 12 and my next Ob appt is July 25th. Oh and my Due date is actually December 3rd now, according to the last U/S I had...but we shall see. I'll wait and see what this last one determined before I go changing my ticker.

So...I had this kind of mini fight with my BF. She's the one I mentioned before that has Cancer on her cervix. Well her Gyno gave her a 'deadline' to get pregnant but the timing is horrible. she's got a year of school left, she had a kinda sorta boyfriend that doesn't want to commit and isn't ready for kids and she's on assistance until she's done school. Well I sent her an u/s pic today and she messaged me back saying that I was 'upsetting' her talking about hte baby so much and that I need to talk about other things.

Like I understand that she's in a bad spot right now but as my friend shouldn't she realize that this is a major part of my life right now? she says that the constant reminders are killing her. My questions is that what about in 2 months when the reminder will be jutting gout in front of me like a freaking basketball? I do understand how upseting it could be but to tell me that I can't talk about my pregnancy at all seems a little extreme. and telling me that she's jealous and resentful of me upset me... I'm goign to give it a few days and then I'm going to call her and say look, if you can't handle me being pregnant...then it's going to be hard staying friends because it's not going to go away and I'm not going to pretend I'm not happy about it. I'm sorry that my life seems so much better than hers but I never complain about things she tells me that I don't nessicarily find interesting... I just listen because isnt that what friends are supposed to do? I dunno. I don't want to lose her as a friend but i'm not going to be able to hand out with her if she feels that way and I do not want to take someone like that to a very expensive concert either.

Sorry for the vent....

Anyway... MS still going strong. Had a migraine after I did the gardening the other day but I think it was just because I was out in the sun so it just means I cant' be outside working for more than 20 minutes at a time.

I hope everyone is good. Love you ladies!

I'll post the U/S pictures when I finish scanning them

 

[calebsmom06]

Wow Andi so sorry you are going through this. I hope you will be able to sort things out and decide what is best to do for YOU and YOUR kids. We can all offer our advice and opinions but in the end it is up to YOU. Even your mom will give insight but only YOU know whats going on and how he treats you and how you really feel. You have to decide wether it is worth it or not, do your think he will get help and/or do you think he will do it again? Even if it is 2 or 3 years from now would you want your kids to see this again? Do you think he could get worse? Its a BIG BIG decision and not one to be taken lightly. I havent really been in a situation like this but I swore to myself I NEVER would let myslef. But my mom was, she was with my dad (whom I have Never met and passed away when I was 12) she had my brother and went through and put up with beatings and beatings and threats and mental abuse she got pregnant with me and still put up with all of the beatings over and over, she had me 8 weeks early due to him pushing her down the stairs in their home, she had to have an emergency c-section and I was put on 100% oxygen because my lungs were not fully developed. I weighed a big 4 lbs 6 oz but God choose me to make it, my mom still went back to him AGAIN and he would not only abuse her but also me as a ity bitty baby and my brother. Finally my mom left and never went back the day something terrinly tragic happen, but it should have never gotten to that point before she left, she should have had enough confidence and courage in herself to leave when it started. It took him burning my brother with cigs. and doing something even worse to me before I was even a year old for her to leave. I know my moms situation is extreme but it starts small and it gets worse. Do what is best for YOU and YOUR kids. We will be praying for you.

 

[calebsmom06]

Glad your appointment went well So sorry about your friend. As your BF she should be supportive of you no matter what you or her are going through, as your there for her she should be there for you. Hope she is able to see that and you are able to keep your friendship going strong.

 

[Kahlan83]

I just don't know. It has been more of a one sided friendship for the last couple years. She'd rather hang out with people she tells me she hates because their situation is worse then hers...so if she'd rather be with people she can't be jealous of then...fine. I have other friends that are ecstatic about the new baby.

I talked to one of my other BF's and she said to cool down and then call her and just say hey...I need to know what I can talk about and what I can't and if she says nothing baby related then I'm going to say then I think we should cool it for a while. I'm not going to stop being me because she can't handle it. If I were in her situation I would probably be a bit jealous...yeah but it would just want me to be that much more involved with my friends baby and help her out, be supportive and happy for her...but then again, I don't know exactly how I would be if that happened either....

I'm sad at the possibility of losing a friend but I don't need to deal with extra stress.