so had the adoption conversation with dh, he said absolutely not he will not raise anyone else's kid. Looks like i don't have a say in this one...and he hardly wants to do fertility treatment, wont do ivf, maybe iui, we got in an argument...he said its not my fault we cant have kids ( he tested out ok, me too...its just unexplained) isaid but it is your fault bc you won' t consider adoption, this made him super mad and he said maybe i should leave you and find someone who can give me kids. this is when i turned around and walked away from him...so tired of this whole fertility battle, plays with emotions up and down... 24 months we have been trying, i cant handle the disappointment anymore. And now he has officially dashed my hopes of ever having a family with the no adoption thing. Today i saw a pregnant lady in the grocery store and almost started balling...its too hard to be around any body thats pregnant...i just feel so unlucky and alone. its just not fair, some ppl get pregnant not even trying, some people have abortions ( my sister did) some people have more supportive partners. I just dont know what to do anymore, i feel almost like why bother trying anymore?
it makes me said i have disappointed so many people. We were at a family dinner and i told my parents that my husbands nieice was pregnant (shes not even 25 yet) and how her mom was going to be a grandma very young...and my dad said no one is making me a grandpa... i almost balled right there in a restaurant on mothers day (which of course makes it worse...knowing i will never be able to celebrate that as a mom) it hurts to think that i will likely never give my parents grand kids... i think my mom suspects we are trying, but is not pushy and doesnt ask...i wanted to tell them we have been trying for 2 years...but i didnt.
dh and i are not speaking now, i dont know whether to ignore him or act normal like i dont care and hope that he agrees to the fertility treatment at least.
I am beyond frustrated anymore, i dont even want to go on my facebook bc i will see babies, baby bumps and baby announcements...it just hurts too much, and i dont really have anyone to share my feelings with...i have one friend whos 41 and conceived with ivf...she is about 3 months along and doesnt have time to talk to me anymore like she did before she was pregnant. We used to talk alot about our fertility battles, now i feel i am alone.
Just don't know what to do, think or feel anymore, how do you get over something like this when its all you want in the world to have a family? why does it have to be so hard. tired, fed up, sad, i feel like i have lost my shinning light at the end of the tunnel and that there is nothing left. what do i have to look forward to?
it makes me said i have disappointed so many people. We were at a family dinner and i told my parents that my husbands nieice was pregnant (shes not even 25 yet) and how her mom was going to be a grandma very young...and my dad said no one is making me a grandpa... i almost balled right there in a restaurant on mothers day (which of course makes it worse...knowing i will never be able to celebrate that as a mom) it hurts to think that i will likely never give my parents grand kids... i think my mom suspects we are trying, but is not pushy and doesnt ask...i wanted to tell them we have been trying for 2 years...but i didnt.
dh and i are not speaking now, i dont know whether to ignore him or act normal like i dont care and hope that he agrees to the fertility treatment at least.
I am beyond frustrated anymore, i dont even want to go on my facebook bc i will see babies, baby bumps and baby announcements...it just hurts too much, and i dont really have anyone to share my feelings with...i have one friend whos 41 and conceived with ivf...she is about 3 months along and doesnt have time to talk to me anymore like she did before she was pregnant. We used to talk alot about our fertility battles, now i feel i am alone.
Just don't know what to do, think or feel anymore, how do you get over something like this when its all you want in the world to have a family? why does it have to be so hard. tired, fed up, sad, i feel like i have lost my shinning light at the end of the tunnel and that there is nothing left. what do i have to look forward to?
It truly sounds like your DH is having a hard time expressing his emotions in a loving way. A lot of men like that ....grrrrr. perhaps shelve the adoption talk and ease into the iui/ivf talk. is there a particular reason he is against iui/ivf? is it knowledge on the subject or the fact its "unnatural" . Infertility is EXHAUSTING. You deserve to be supported. Communication is key but you need to take care of yourself first. I really hope you can find someone to share with. Your mom? would that be possible? if not I would find a therapist that your fertility dr could refer. They should have those resources. 
