Sahm mums lets chat :-)

[laura109]

Hello. I just thought it would be nice to have a chat for stay at home mum. Maybee to swap ideas how to fill the days and occupy little ones. Maybe talk about how the days are and if you feel cut of from the world at times. What are your reasons for staying at home etc?

I always planned on being a sahm. I have a 2 year old now and we are trying for baby number two. We are truly lucky to have enough money from my ohs wage to allow me to be a sahm. But we were also limited to options. My sil had a baby 3 months before me and my partners mum and dad moved an hour away from us to do absolutely everything for her and we were left to it! So she got the childcare the house sitters the cleaners and everything in between and due to my dad working full time and my mum has bad health we have no help. I have accepted this situation but sometimes i do think if i wanted to work just 6-12 hours a week now I couldn't because nursery fees would be more than i would earn.

I find the days long if i dont try get out for a walk or park trip each day. I avoid days in my pjs cleaning now as by the afternoon we are both fed up. I try and give her different activities to do such as puzzles and playdoh. Blocks and duplo she loves and is a huge peppa pig fan!!!

Being a sahm seems rare now and i only know 2 other sahm to talk to in the week. I sometimes feel like i dont see enough of adults through the week but i know these years are precious too. Feel free to chat and share your stories xx

 

[Boozlebub]

Hi! I'm a SAHM to a 3 year old and a 10 month old. I would love to chat! It can feel pretty lonely at times. My family all live back in the UK so we only see them when they come here or we go there. We do get help from OH's parents as we live in the same village but they also work long hours 7 days a week during the season.

I try to get us all outside for a couple of hours each day unless the temperature drops below -15 Celsius. We spend our time outside sledging, making snow castles and climbing in the snow.

I get what you mean about SAHMs. I know a few but most will be starting back at work come September so I do wonder how we will have play dates etc once that happens!!!

 

[crownest]

I'm sahm I'll post more later just saying quick hi

 

[BlueChameleon]

I'm a SAHM.
We have family near, but don't get much help. Both my parents work too. I would have been a SAHM regardless though, as I personally want to stay home with my children.
My eldest is in nursery, so in the mornings I take my youngest to toddler groups etc.
Afternoons we go swimming, out for walks, to the playpark.. Or we bake, paint, make hama bead, play with toys etc.
Most Mum's I know work, mainly just part time though, so we do meet up with friends a couple of times a week too.

 

[catty]

I am a SAHM mum to three little ones aged 3.5, 2.5 and 4 months.

My days are very hectic my son has to be at nursery at 8.30am in the morning and then my daughter goes to playgroup (where i leave her) 3 days a week - 9.45-11.45
Despite having some free time from the bigger 2 i feel constantly busy and at times stressed rushing from one thing to the next.

Im actually on maternity leave and will be back to work August time but i still consider myself a SAHM as with them all day work 5-8pm, the thought of going back and trying to fit it all in makes me scared

The time of day i find drags is 3pm -4.30pm i really want to sit and not do very much in this time and i cant find a way to make this time of day any easier!

We get help from my ohs family if i need to go to an appointment maybe a few hours a month and my mum will have the kids for a sleepover every 3ish months. I find with each child the help has declined, i understand why its alot for others but still would be nice to not have a reason to have some child free time.

 

[laura109]

Hi ladies thamks for all your replies. I can feel lonley too. Im hoping now the wearher is getting better in the uk we will get more outdoor time. Its definetly rare now to know many other sahm. They all at least do part time. I can imagine that can be nice as its hard not having my own money anymore. My partner happily shares but for me its not mine. I would also dread fitting in everything around a little job too, thats when you cpuld do with family helping out which is not always an option for people.
I find 3 till 5 can be slow and sometimes after weve had tea/dinner at 5pmish i can think what can i do for another two hours lol. Other days im fine. The things that frustrate me is seeing All the things i could be doing if i could get on. Washing is a nightmare it never endsz

 

[xxmyheartxx]

I'm at sahm as well, I have 2 girls age 8 and 6, little boy who is 4 and starting school in September and we are currently trying for number 4 with not much success either, I worked part time upto when we had our little boy and then made the plunge to stay at home, I'm the only one of my close friends who is a sahm they think I'm daft wanting to but I don't want to miss out on anything. The girls do brownies/rainbows/gymnastics/netball and they all do swimming so I feel like a taxi service as well already!
I also help look after my mom with my dad as well so I don't feel like I ever stop.
Hubby doesn't want me to go back to work at all until they are all finished with school and by then I doubt I will anyway x

 

[catty]

For me i wouldnt even say its a choice its just sooooo expensive for childcare i wouldnt make a penny working in the daytime!!

When i worked out childcare for 2 children i came away with roughly £300 (for a hypthetical job) but now there is 3 id probably owe the nursery money.
The childminder i know charges £4 per hour and does a deal on siblings but id still be at least £10 per hour!!

 

[misspriss]

I am a SAHM to an almost 4 year old and 21 month old, expecting #3 in August.

We get out of the house 3-4 days a week. We try to stick to a schedule in the AM, we spend no days in PJs or I'd go crazy!

TBH, I have an advanced degree, I'd probably make more money than DH and make plenty to cover daycare +extra, but I'd be so depressed if I didn't get to spend the time with my children that I want to. It nearly killed me working while DS was little until DD was born, even though he was with his grandma or his dad while I was working. I was raised by a SAHM.

 

[catty]

https://i1164.photobucket.com/albums/q564/catherinerobertson89/Mobile%20Uploads/Screenshot_2017-03-15-21-41-17-1_zpssdgcqs67.png

I seen this im not sure if its exactly accurate but my starting wage as a nurse would be £24,000. This scared me, totally going off topic there though

 

[zorak]

I'm a SAHM but may be going back to work two days a week soon.

I love my days with the kids. We are in a great routine and make a point of going out somewhere every day. My eldest goes to nursery 5 mornings a week which really helps. Our usual routine is mornings out, afternoons at home apart from a Thursday when my eldest has swimming in the afternoon. They love spending time playing in the garden too and at 3.5 years and 20 months just need me in hearing distance now. I got to read for ages today while they played happily

 

[laura109]

The price of childcare is really unfair to the average family. Ive just applied to put dd in nursery in september for 3 hours monday and Thursday and its £120 a month for just 6 hours a week. Yet people i know on lower incomes or benefits or fiddling the system get it for free.

I too was raised by a sahm and it was something that i wanted to do too. I was just blessed that my partner earns enough. X

 

[laura109]

That sounds great Zorak. My 2 year old is an only child up to now so i have to entertain her abit more still but its lovely that yours entertain eachother. I usually do parks walks or shops in the mornings too and we sometimes go to playgroup on Tuesdays

 

[CaptainMummy]

Hi I'm a single sahm to 3 girls (6, 3.5 & 2.5)
My eldest is at school and both my 2&3yr olds go to nursery Mon-Fri mornings, my youngest only started in January.
In the afternoons, my girls love to do crafts, playdoh, makeup, we go to the park or a walk to the shops. If dd3 is having a nap (she still does most days) My dd2 and I bake, or colour or play board games.
I find it challenging atm, with them being so young it's hard to take them very far by myself (I'm talking places like the zoo, theme park etc) but I'm hoping that as they get a bit older it will be really fun for us all! I do really love being able to spend lots of time at home with them though

 

[topsy]

I am a SAHM girls- I just recently split from DH so will be splitting childcare with DH ( or FOB now ) MY DS is 5 so is at school I am disabled ( ME and severe Mental Health problems) I am in hospital at the moment. But would love to chat guys.

How is your day going? xxx

 

[CaptainMummy]

I am a SAHM girls- I just recently split from DH so will be splitting childcare with DH ( or FOB now ) MY DS is 5 so is at school I am disabled ( ME and severe Mental Health problems) I am in hospital at the moment. But would love to chat guys.

How is your day going? xxx

Sorry to hear about your split, hope you are okay
Dd2 and I just made the most flavourless chocolate cupcakes. Yuck! About to get ready to pick dd1 up from school (we walk, its raining so we will get soaked, yay!) and have some engineers coming anytime until 5pm to do something that will take an hour. A pretty standard day here, probably get the playmobil out once we get back from school run to entertain the girls for a bit!

 

[topsy]

Thank you hunny-he finished it over the phone on mon. After 8 years....I am deverstated...but have to carry on for ds and get on with my life however hard that is

Oh no flavourless chocolate is always a dissapomtment.

Boo hiss to rain, its sunny here

Ds is a lego fan.

Xxxx

 

[Boozlebub]

I'm sorry to hear about your split topsy, hope you are doing ok and will be out of hospital soon.

My inlaws had the kids for a couple of hours this morning so I could go to the post office and supermarket alone (well DH came with me but you know! ) we've had great weather today so we spent the afternoon playing in the snow in the sun!

I also find the time from 3-5 quite a drag. DD wakes from her nap around 3 and trying to cook the dinner while stopping DS from taking every toy away from DD is a challenge!

Hope everyone is well and had a great day 😄

 

[CaptainMummy]

Thank you hunny-he finished it over the phone on mon. After 8 years....I am deverstated...but have to carry on for ds and get on with my life however hard that is

Oh no flavourless chocolate is always a dissapomtment.

Boo hiss to rain, its sunny here

Ds is a lego fan.

Xxxx

Men are all a**holes if you ask me! How pathetic of him You are a strong mama and it may not seem it just now, but you will be okay.

Its almost bedtime. Woohoo!

 

[topsy]

Thanks girls-one of the nurses said if he cant be with you at your worst he dosent deserve you at your best. xxx

Yay for bedtime I am sleepy tonight.

Going to the supermarket with LO is os good saves the battles xxxxx