Santa... Real or Not?

[superfrizbee]

Is santa not real?? Seriously though, I will be telling DD about santa - I think for children it's part of the magic of Christmas. I don't remember finding out he wasn't. I think for kids it's often a gradual realisation and not something thats going to traumatise them for life. Plus it might bribe her into being a good girl

 

[MiniKiwi]

I'm going to do all those things for my LO, have a santa, a tooth fairy, an easter bunny etc. I see no harm in it and I remember LOVING those things as a kid. My older siblings used to try and put a damper on my fun telling me they don't exist and I put my hands over my ears and sang when they said that rubbish!

OH is going to be dressed as santa for christmas for the next however many years!

I think the joy kids get out of those things far outweighs the disappointment they have when they figure out it's not real

 

[_dreamer_]

raychmumtobe I see you have nephews, do they believe in santa? Just think it'd be awful for their cousin to be the one to unravel it all if they do, much like your original post about older sibling doing it x

Ive just edited my OP to add, that if she beleives in him, im not saying im going to tell her hes not real, im just not going to tell her he is. My parents did exactly the same, they never left cookies out for Santa, or put fake snowy footprints through the house or even told us he was real, they just didnt tell us he wasnt, they let us use our imagination. They even let my sister put cookies out if she wanted to, and write a letter to him..
Thats exactly how im going to be.
I dont want to tell her hes real, but if she beleives in him, and theres a good chance she will, thanks to her cousins, and tv, and probably nursery and school, then thats her choice. Im not going to tell her its all a lie. Im just not going to be the one to tell her the lie.

Have you thought about how you will deal with all the questions your Lo will ask...because they ask questions on everything. From where does he live, to how does he get in, to how does he fly around the world in one night. Children are very inquisitive, and if she believes from what she's seeing/hearing around her but then you refuse to answer her questions she will be confused in my mind. If you decide that's what you want to do, have a think about how you will answer her questions in advance, otherwise you could inadvertently be the one to let her know he isn't real, and still put her through what you're saying you don't want her to gi through.

I personally agree with your dad and oh. I think its such a magical 'lie' that I don't think you'll find many people feeling hard done by to have been lied to on this, even if they are a bit upset at the time. (my enjoyment continued because I was then let in on the secret and helped my mum and dad while my siblings still believed). That's just my opinion though, everyone is entitled to do their own thing, but you need to come to an agreement with your oh as he has a say too

 

[Strike]

We don't do Santa- we are Christian, and I would prefer the day to be about more than just what presents the kids are going to get.

You realize all the symbols of Christmas are based on the Pagen ritual of Yule right? (date, tree, lights, Yule log, carolling, etc...minus the nativity of course). *stirring the pot then hands you an egg nog laced with way too much rum.

ANYWAY...

I dont think its harmful, I just dont see the point.
Christmas can still be a huge, fun holiday, without making it all about a fictional character and his elves.

Kids today have way too much of a grasp of reality and not enough active play that involves imagination. If playing along with the whole Santa myth will encourage them to use their imagination even a little bit more than they normally do then I would think that the benefits far outweigh the negatives. And really, is it that hard to play along with your children and encourage the imaginative streak by putting out cookies and milk and carrots for the reindeer?

As for that 'Elf on the shelf' thing, we never did that as a kid. That's something new within the last decade or so.

My niece was sitting on the fence last year regarding Santa. I went on Army.ca and actually found someone who works at NORAD who was going to be on shift on Christmas Eve. She sent me her extension and I had my niece call her directly and she was given an update of where Santa was, when he would come over her home, how many houses he had delivered to, etc. I feel good that I was able to keep the dream going a little longer.

Of course, she's almost 11 now and knows Santa is not real, but she also knows that the myth of Santa is part of the magic and fun of the season and is determined to keep the tradition going for her younger cousins. She also makes sure we are all well aware of the religious aspects of the season as well, being raised Catholic.

 

[Larkspur]

You know, it's funny; I can remember believing in Santa (lying awake at night determined to stay awake to see him - never managed to stay up long enough though!) but I can't remember when or how I realised he wasn't real.

I do remember that once I stopped believing, I continued to play along for another couple of years because my little brother still believed. Then he figured it out, but we both kept pretending we believed because my parents still seemed to find it cute that we believed in it. Then there was a phase where we knew it wasn't true, and my parents knew we knew it wasn't true, but we ALL played along for the fun of it. And then my brother and I left home...

Ha ha, no, I think we'd all given up all pretence by the time I was like, eight or nine, and the Christmas stockings were folded up and put away for good.

 

[AP]

See, I never fully believed, I wanted to but I was too clever me

 

[fairydust87]

I agree with you OP. I'm not telling Noah about Santa its not real so why make him think it is? x

 

[whit.]

Yep, Santa will be real in this house. Not going to take that magic from her while her imagination is still young and wild. By the time she is old enough to understand that he isn't real - I doubt she will be upset with us anyway. She'll understand that it was magical for her to believe.

 

[Bon18]

Do you know I miss the days when children were allowed to be children... We as parents shouldn't take away what little magic there is in the world for them and start exposing them to the harsh realities too early.

I'll definitely be raising little believers

EDIT: And if another child tries to ruin it before they are ready I'm just going to say said child was naughty and didn't get presents from Santa last year.

 

[annanouska]

My mum still believes in Santa :ROFL: honestly she still goes along with it now at 50!! My sisiter and I used to put our stockings out and snack plate every year right up until I left home. Heck, she is still there and 20 and Santa still visits ! My mum used to say if you say you dont believe then you don't get anything so I think we always played along.

To be honest it was funny was we got older as instead of brandy and a mince pie we used to leave some salad and water with a note saying-Santa is on a diet and should't be advocating drink driving either!!!

LO will be 5 1/2 months at Christmas, he has been to visit Santa, got a letter from Santa and has a stocking and snack plate ready too truth is....think I have turned into my mum as it is more for me I think! My DH is more like you though and doesnt see the point.

I enjoy the magic of it all and the emotional blackmail of Santa not visiting if you were naughty well I suppose that is about as much harm as telling a child to eat their crusts to give them curly hair but everyone is different xxx

 

[pianobex]

I had this exact conversation with my friend yesterday as she had decided not to 'lie' either! However she has actually changed her mind basically due to this point... Do you think anyone who believed in Santa would be upset with their parents for lying to them or making them believe something that isn't real for a few years or do you think they would be more upset with their parent for ruining a very magical period that all their friends had and that they were left on the outside of? I know which one I would rather my children have!

 

[leahtaba]

i agree with pp id feel a bit cheated if my parents never made me believe because i used to get so exited going to bed on christmas eve and wake up so exited running down the stairs to see if hed been

 

[likeaustralia]

Hm. As a child raised in a Jewish household, I can tell you that my childhood was no less "magical" than any of my Christian, Santa-believing friends.

 

[Natsku]

I didn't feel cheated either. My parents made it clear that there was no santa and that they bought the presents and made Christmas about people (we always had another family over for our Christmas meal and it meant a lot to us) not about 'magic'. And we knew they bought the presents so we didn't ask for things they couldn't afford. I loved our Christmases and I want the same for Maria - a focus on family rather than material goods and honesty all the way

However I know that my OH's family does Santa (and over here he visits in person on Christmas Eve) so I'll teach Maria that its a fun tradition and that other kids believe in it and its important not to tell them that its not real (cos one of brothers told his friends and there was a lot of angry parents that year)

 

[highhopes19]

Santa adds magic and imagination to a child's life I'm very much doing Santa.

I've heard and read about people thinking its lying
I've never met a child that's been left with detrimental affects or mentally scarred from believing in Santa

 

[Indi84]

Haha, I still get stockings, from my mum and my mil! They don't say they are from Santa though ;-)
I have three older sisters and my eldest told me when I was six ish he wasn't real, what a cow bag lol. I didn't feel offended by the lie, we let my mum put out carrots and cookies for a few years after that, keep the magic going.
I can't wait to do Santa in this house, the pure excitement as a child waiting for Santa!
That's an interesting comment about not doing Santa when Christian, my sisters are religious but I have no idea if my nieces and nephews are taught about Santa at all, I'm going to ask when I next see them!

 

[Mummy Bean]

Surley santa is just imagination ...a cherished thing that children need more of not less. i hope my son grows up believing in santa, with imaginary friends, thinking micky mouse at disney is the real thing. what a sad life if for those mere few years that children get to actually be children the excitment n joy is taken away.

my imaginary friend was everything to me, and my dad played along and set a place at the dinner table ect. so i will deff be doing it all with my kids.

and hope with everything that they can stay children for as long as possible...instead of being forced to grow up.

But i respect everyone decision in parenting and if u feel it not for u then who am i to say otherwise. and as others have said xmas can be magical regardless.

 

[robinator]

We don't do Santa- we are Christian, and I would prefer the day to be about more than just what presents the kids are going to get.

So are we, and my folks never did Santa growing up. I wish they had, Christmas would have been more magical. We are doing both - teaching Lane Jesus' birth is why we celebrate Christmas, and that Santa is the one who brings the gifts!

 

[Mummy Bean]

We don't do Santa- we are Christian, and I would prefer the day to be about more than just what presents the kids are going to get.

So are we, and my folks never did Santa growing up. I wish they had, Christmas would have been more magical. We are doing both - teaching Lane Jesus' birth is why we celebrate Christmas, and that Santa is the one who brings the gifts!

we always got a present of jesus and santa. then one day my much younger brother turned round and asked my mum ' why has santa got me some thing and Jesus but not you?' lol

 

[Amy2701]

I love the whole Santa part of Christmas. My SD is 9 and this is the first year she knows for sure Santa isn't real, so if for 9 years Lily has that magical feeling going to bed on Christmas Eve then that will be amazing in my opinion. Also, growing up, we were always told that the angel at the top of my Nana's tree was watching and taking notes for Santa so we were all to behave. For this reason I've bought an angel for my tree and not a star - I can't wait to carry on that story with my children.

Oh and another thing... My OH is looking forward to the mince pie we are leaving out for Santa... So I can't ruin it for him! Lol x