scared about having #3

[kat132]

I need some friendly advice.
I have 2 wonderful boys who i love deeply but i really want another.
Obviously having 2 boys i would love a girl but if i did have another boy i would accept that as fate. Plus if #3 was a boy and was anything like my other 2 i would be a lucky mummy .

I just worry about finances, upsetting the family dynamic and all the other things people say about having 3 like "you will need to get a new car, holidays are always for families of 4, doing the school run with a new born is really hard".......
I have been changing my mind for about 6 months now. My heart tells me yes but my sensible side tells me i should be happy with my 2 beautiful boys i have.
Has anybody else been in this situation? If so what did you end up doing?

I am so confused and my oh said i am driving him mad

 

[tkeith8109]

I seriously could have written this. We have 1 of each, but for 2 years I switch between having another or being content. The feeling only got stronger and now I know without a doubt I want another child. I had the same worries, we will need a bigger car and it will be more expensive. We just got out of daycare and now we will be having start again. The way I see it is it will always be cheaper and more sensible to stick with 1 or 2. If people went with sensible we wouldn't have kids at all. The heart wants what it wants. Besides you never regret the kids you have but you might regret not trying.

 

[DoubleLines]

I can't speak from experience yet (have 1, early pg with #2) but when my hubs and I talk about a potential #3 we always say we will base it on how we feel not necessarily the logical/sensible piece. I'm always more of a logical person but I just feel like when it comes to family we will just "feel complete" when we are and if we don't feel that way we will keep going. I come from 3 girls and the idea of not having my younger sister (who's 5 years younger) is so sad! She's my best friend now. Point is, the first few years may be tough but think of the extra love, snuggles, sibling friendships, memories, louder laughter at holidays, etc.

Not trying to push you either way, more so I think it's one of those things you have to listen more to your heart on.

 

[Tanikins]

I'm in the same boat. My youngest is only 12 weeks but I need to sorta know where I'm going with life.

My oh has 4 I have 2. He would rather stay with what we have but would have another If I was set on it.

My brain says stay with 2 have a nice car, nice holidays, nice sofas etc. My heart says I want to be pregnant again, 1st scans, bumps, a sleeping baby on my chest.

I mean stuffs only stuff and kids are our future.

I hated and I mean really hated being pregnant. My youngest had iugr so I had 19 scan and everyone was an emotional turmoil. I cannot do the nicu again.

I just can't accept that this is it. I can't never give birth again, and snuggle and 1at steps and picking schools etc

But I worry that if I had a 3rd would I still feel incomplete, would I still want to do it again. 4 is not an option. But if the feeling never goes, is a 3rd just prolonging the inevitable

I can't make the decision for 4 years as that's when wed try again but I need to know what I'm doing, arrrrrrrrrrrrgh

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

I'm in that situation right now! I don't feel like our family is complete, but the way things are right now is pretty perfect and adding more to the mix would require some big changes, like a bigger car/house/etc. I try to look at the future though, and whether I'd regret not having certain things like more family vacations/etc or not having had the addition children. ...Right now I would rather have more little ones so we're waiting until next year for #3.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[Reiko_ctu]

I think we overthink it sometimes. How did previous generations make do with 4-5 or more kids per family? Nothing wrong with planning a bit but if you want more, have more! That's what I say at least XD

 

[Sarah369]

I have 3 and absolutely love it (we're ttc #4 next year)

Luckily we had a big enough car already. In regards to holidays a lot are changing now to accommodate families of 5. But still if they don't well drag the grandparents along 😂 Or save harder.

I don't think you ever regret having a child.

Our third hasn't spoilt our family dynamic at all. She's just fit in nicely and the other 2 dote on her.

Just thought I'd offer my perspective. X

 

[Eleanor ace]

I felt like this when contemplating having a 3rd. My heart said yes yes, get pregnant already! But I worried about upsetting our happy family balance, having another really bad sleeper and struggling, maternity leave etc. We did go for a 3rd and oh my gosh, I'm so glad. She has just slotted in so well, it's hard to imagine we were every a family without her. Things like the school run with a baby are no big bother as you're already used to splitting your focus and having to get out and about when not everyone is being totally helpful.

 

[sil]

I could have written this post about half a year ago! I have two wonderful boys age 3 and 14 months. I'd love to hAve a girl but would also be happy with a boy as my two boys now are my world. I too worried about changes in the dynamic, finances, etc, but as someone else said you never regret the children you have but might regret the ones you don't have. We decided to go for it. We haven't been lucky enough to conceive number 3 yet but are hopeful and excited

 

[MamaWorld]

I'm a mom of 3! Ages 5,3 and 1! I absolutely love it... so much that I want a 4th! The first year of three children is tough, especially if they're close in age because the first two are still in the ages of needing help with things and needing more attention than an older child would. And I've had sleepless nights from all three kids taking turns waking up in the night. But I have successfully taken all three on family trips, which I was totally nervous to do. I've taken all three shopping with me which is tricky and stressful but manageable. No matter how many children you have, you'll always have bad days and good days. Even on the worst days, I never regret the three that I have and I still want another one.

 

[Sarah369]

I'm a mom of 3! Ages 5,3 and 1! I absolutely love it... so much that I want a 4th! The first year of three children is tough, especially if they're close in age because the first two are still in the ages of needing help with things and needing more attention than an older child would. And I've had sleepless nights from all three kids taking turns waking up in the night. But I have successfully taken all three on family trips, which I was totally nervous to do. I've taken all three shopping with me which is tricky and stressful but manageable. No matter how many children you have, you'll always have bad days and good days. Even on the worst days, I never regret the three that I have and I still want another one.

This sums it up perfectly. Exactly what we're like.

 

[Aimeewaymee]

The way i see it, is that you will only regret it if you don't end up having another if you really want one, then later on that time has passed and it's too late? Money is lovely to have but i'm sure having a child whether you struggle financially or not will be even better! I always end up going back to work after 4-5 months of being on maternity.. I love my children but its my little escape as i work in the evenings.

I'm sure you will do what will make you happy

We have 2 DD's at the moment and are being relaxed about TTC#3, my OH is more getting to the point of obsessing about #3 lol.. We also have worries but we had the same worries before with the other Children so we shall just take it as it comes.

xx

 

[ricschick]

I have 5, wtt for no6 in December (our last) and we really um'ed and ah'ed about it but I don't want to regret not having another. its lovely having a big family and no3 fits straight in.

 

[Katy78]

Similar situation here. We have 2 boys and really wishing for another baby (especially a girl but we would be happy with a boy as well). Finances, a bigger apartment, car, vacations are also a problem and we discussed it all thoroughly. But we came to a conclusion that we would really regret not even trying. We don't know what the future will bring. We are doing great right now and I think we can manage one more. If we are so lucky to conceive again. So we decided to go for it and we've been trying since June.
Good luck, whatever you decide.

 

[CaliDreaming]

I am in the same boat. I really want a third, but am afraid of having to pay daycare for two children and aftercare for a third. My children are now 5 and 2 and now that my eldest is in kindergarten not having to pay daycare for two kids at the same time is like the sweetest breath of fresh air. My hubby would really like to stay at two for financial reasons and to have more time together now that our youngest is growing up.

We are going for it. I've always wanted three children. There's a chance we won't be successful anyway as it took two years to conceive our second child and I'm 42 now. I guess I will be content either way even if I don't get the third child, but at the very least I'd like to try.

 

[Aimeewaymee]

I have 5, wtt for no6 in December (our last) and we really um'ed and ah'ed about it but I don't want to regret not having another. its lovely having a big family and no3 fits straight in.

Wow and you look so young too! Must be lovely having so much children.. everyone in my family reckons i may be the one who ends up having lots of children. We're only on TTC #3 and I'm already thinking about #4 x