Scared to go out?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by golcarlilly, Aug 31, 2009.

  1. golcarlilly

    golcarlilly Proud mum of 2

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    I feel a bit silly posting this but is anyone else scared about going out alone with their LO? I have been out a few times over the past two weeks while DH has been off - to the park and to the supermarket but I am so scared about venturing out anywhere when he is back to work tomorrow :blush: I feel really nervous in case LO cries, I am shy and feel like everyone is staring - I know I am being ridiculous but I can't help it!
     
  2. Arcanegirl

    Arcanegirl Bazinga!!

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    I was like that aswell when Rob went back to work. Thankfully newborns pretty much just sleep or if they cry they just want fed or changed, knowing that made it a bit easier to go out.
    Take small trips first and go from there.
     
  3. Babydance

    Babydance Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean hun! lol im STILL like that and Soph's almost 11 weeks! I went to Asda the other day on my own and i was SO proud of myself, Soph was so good sat in her chair just looking about. I still cant really go out with the pram i just dont feel relaxed enough to go on my own! Im hoping it eases off soon!!

    xx
     
  4. Kitten

    Kitten Mummy to Theakston & Nyah

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    Oooh yeah we always have a disaster!
     
  5. Hevz

    Hevz 4 beautiful children

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    That was a very supportive comment eh?:dohh:


    Just take your time....you don't "have" to go out alone. Just go for a short walk around the block to start with or a walk to the local shop for a newspaper and bread or something. A well stocked changing bag is a lifesaver, a few nappies, wipes, nappy sacks, sleepsuit and whatever else you may need.

    It'll come easy enough after a while but it can seem daunting at 1st hun:hugs::kiss:
     
  6. Happy

    Happy Mummy to Phoebe

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    I felt the same when I had Phoebe, just start off by doing small trips to the shop and going for a short walk. It takes time but soon you will feel confident enough to go out for longer.
     
  7. helenbun2005

    helenbun2005 Well-Known Member

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    i was like this to begin with...so i just went to family's homes so i knew i would be comfortable and then straight home. Then i managed to do the whole weekly shop with Harry on my own (and cart it all up a flight of stairs back to our flat) and i felt really proud of myself, but i still cant be out and about for more than a couple of hours as i get really agrophobic, strangely enough, even if harry is as good as gold (which he always is). strange!

    but dont beat your self up about it hun...its normal!
     
  8. NIfirsttimer

    NIfirsttimer Proud mum, new wife & WTT

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    i was like that for the first bit.. i felt like she might have a crying fit and people would stare and think i wasnt coping etc, but then i realised that I am her mummy, and regardless fo what other people might think, i know best when it comes to my baby! i started with small trips to easy places, and always made sure i was home when she was due a feed for the first week or so, but the second week of flying solo, i thought, sod it, if she needs fed i can feed her whereever i am, just went back to the car etc, and now, 8 weeks later, we are pros at being out and about, a well stocked bag is indeed the key, i know i have anything i might need with me, so can deal with any situation that might arise, if your LO is anythign like ruby they will just sleep the whole time anyway.. the car journey to wherever we are going usually puts her over to sleep and then the motion of the pram or walking etc keeps her asleep..
    its honestly not as scary as you might think, and instead of disaproving looks you are far more likely to have loads of people coo over LO and comment on how gorgeous they are! once you brave the first few trips your confidence will really grow, its defo worth sticking at it as those trips out of the house are a sanity saver after a while!
     
  9. Kitten

    Kitten Mummy to Theakston & Nyah

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    Oh I just meant a disaster to me! Like I'll spend ages packing bags and stuff and force myself out for a quick trip to the post office, feed him, change him etc. and then he'll wake up just as I'm the next person in the queue, hence why I'm so scared of going out too. I think you just have to keep at it until you get a thick skin. I keep saying to myself "I don't care what people think" but then I find myself panicking and getting hot flushes and almost crying sometimes. I'm hoping at some point I'll get over it. I've found going out with friends/other mums helps as you feel like they understand and by having someone to talk to you're not focusing on everyone around you. I try talking to him saying "stop being silly, you know I can't feed you on the bus cos you'll get hurt, wait just 5minutes then we'll be home" and stuff so I feel like I've explained myself to the people staring at me without confronting them so they don't think I'm a heartless mother even though I know I don't need to justify myself.
     
  10. amylw1

    amylw1 my 3 boys in avatar. x

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    oh hun, you'll be ok. make sure you have your phone, purse and the changing bag. that way if you really cant face walking back you can jumpp on a bus or ring a taxi. start with trip to local shop etc.

    if i lived nearer i'd come with you. x


    when i had my eldest i went into town on my own 3days after having him, i thought i had done really well until he needed changing - i had no nappies in the bag! i sat on a bench and cried, it didnt occur to me to go into boots/tesco etc and buy a pack. i rang my mum still crying and asked her to get my dad to come pick me up and bring a nappy! LOL!
     
  11. Missy85

    Missy85 Well-Known Member

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    i was the same hun, and still can get anxious but just try a walk round the block at first... little steps and soon you'll be out for longer!
     
  12. Mary Jo

    Mary Jo Mummy to Adam and Joel

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    I was a little nervous first time out alone with Adam, but my OH encouraged me to go, so we went to the park that's 5 mins away. He didn't sleep at all and was quiet till we got a bench; after a minute or two being ok, he started crying and cried all the way home! I coped with it by telling myself that nobody else knew it was my first time out and I was scared and didn't really feel confident. I pretended I was... nobody really cares anyway! And being out in the open I think was a good first trip, no shops or steps or people in an enclosed space to stress me out more.

    I'd bite the bullet and go. Even if you literally go round the block and are home in 3 minutes. It'll turn into more of a fear if you put it off further. I've since been to the Co-op with Adam and he was fine, next step is a longer trip, maybe to the shopping centre. We've never attempted to feed or change him away from home and I am nervous of that... but the only way to get over it is to face it and do it.

    Good luck! :hug:
     
  13. Jemma_x

    Jemma_x Mummy and Engaged

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    I was like this at first, i was petrified of taking him out and him crying because i thought people would stare and think i was a bad mum because he was crying. When i first started going out i just went on short walks to the shop and when i finally had confidence to go into town which is a 30 minute bus ride i took my friend with me as support and it went fine.
     
  14. raydonsmum09

    raydonsmum09 Member

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    yea... so the first time i went out with friends after lil raydon was born, we got into a car accident... so i am totally scared of going out by myself AND with other people! its dreadful! if my hubbys driving, its not so bad, but i cant have anyone else drive... its either me or my hubbs... i can go to the grocery store and such and i have become comfortable with being in public, its just the driving that scares me...
     
  15. keelykat

    keelykat Guest

    Hi :)

    I was really nervous to begin with, so a family member suggested walks around the block to begin with and then go into our local town (short walk away) etc and then I got the courage to get on a bus to my moms and so on.

    The bit I got most scared of was feeding him in public (started off bf then went into bottle), even getting him out of the car seat to hold him made me scared as he was tiny! But I soon felt less worried and more confident the more i took him out.

    keely.

    ps-my baby had (still has) reflux so the sickness was another worry, but again I soon got the hang of dealing with it without getting upset :)
     
  16. Samemka

    Samemka Mummy of 2 girlies

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    I went out with Emma from the very start, because I knew I'd feel scared if I didn't....I'm just like that, a born worrier!! But I still have my moments now where I'll go out and she'll be screaming in a shop, and I get all hot and bothered and zoom back to the car ASAP - but as this happens more frequently, you start to realise it's NOT just you and your baby who this happens to (I felt like it was at first lol) and get more relaxed. You'll get there hun I promise! x x x
     
  17. becstar

    becstar Sleep is for the weak

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    I'm the same! I feel fine with OH there but alone - terrified! We haven't done it yet...
     
  18. golcarlilly

    golcarlilly Proud mum of 2

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    Thanks for all the lovely replies girls :) I went out with DD today so not exactly alone, we went to a local retail park and went in Next and swapped a little outfit then boots to get meal deal lunches then called at iceland for a few bits, Myles woke up briefly when we were in iceland but didn't cry :happydance: tomorrow DD is back at school so I am going to drive her to school then call at my Mum's for a while, am going to do baby steps and hopefully i will get braver over time :)
     
  19. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

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    I guess one thing to think about is, what do you think when you hear someone else's baby crying when you're out. No way would you think 'bad mother'! You'd feel sympathy at the very most! More often it doesn't even register in my head.

    I used to struggle to change Ruby in public baby changing rooms as she hates the hard changing tables - if your baby is like this too, just take a travel changing mat or an old jumper or towel to go under LO, much nicer. My other tip is to use night time nappies like Pampers BabyDry when you go out if you think it might be tricky to change LO for a while.

    If you FF, a small carton, an empty sterilised bottle and a little pair of scissors in your handbag or changing bag will make you feel more relaxed, even if LO not due a feed while you're out, it gives peace of mind!
     
  20. Babydance

    Babydance Well-Known Member

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