School favouritism, would you complain?

[MrsBop]

DS came home on Friday announcing 3 kids had been chosen to go to this stadium to do Olympic sports, before I even asked which kids I knew and lo and behold 2 of them were the same kids that get all the main parts in plays/assemblies, I'm sick of it, DS said 'maybe next time if I'm good I'll get chosen' he's not bad anyway he just doesn't get a bloody look in because of them two would you complain? I'm sick of supporting a school and not getting anything back, there wouldn't be an issue if it'd been 3 different children and not DS, it's the fact it's them 2 yet again!

 

[SnuggleMum]

Can you recall exactly what they were chosen for, and what they weren't? (I'm not doubting you, but I imagine unless you can be very specific, they'll just dismiss your concerns). I probably wouldn't complain at this stage, but definitely start to keep a record, and then you can go to them in a few months time and show them the evidence and ask how they'll ensure things will be more 'fair' from now on.

 

[MrsBop]

Can you recall exactly what they were chosen for, and what they weren't? (I'm not doubting you, but I imagine unless you can be very specific, they'll just dismiss your concerns). I probably wouldn't complain at this stage, but definitely start to keep a record, and then you can go to them in a few months time and show them the evidence and ask how they'll ensure things will be more 'fair' from now on.

The last two 'productions' that the class put on they were main parts in that and also their assembly, there's nothing they haven't had main parts in at least this year other parents have noticed it too, I aren't just a whinging Winnie

 

[SnuggleMum]

The last two 'productions' that the class put on they were main parts in that and also their assembly, there's nothing they haven't had main parts in at least this year other parents have noticed it too, I aren't just a whinging Winnie

Noo, I wasn't saying that, hope it didn't sound like it!! I just know how easy they find to brush off complaints that aren't really, really specific (saves them having to do anything about it!) but if you go in and plonk some evidence down, they can't ignore it!

I remember at school there was one girl who was chosen for everything, it was really frustrating - as if nothing I ever did were good enough!

 

[MrsBop]

The last two 'productions' that the class put on they were main parts in that and also their assembly, there's nothing they haven't had main parts in at least this year other parents have noticed it too, I aren't just a whinging Winnie

Noo, I wasn't saying that, hope it didn't sound like it!! I just know how easy they find to brush off complaints that aren't really, really specific (saves them having to do anything about it!) but if you go in and plonk some evidence down, they can't ignore it!

I remember at school there was one girl who was chosen for everything, it was really frustrating - as if nothing I ever did were good enough!

No it didn't sound like that just wanted to say it wasn't only me who felt that way my DS is so sensitive and he just doesn't get why it's always them when he does as he's told etc, I don't rate the school anyway and have had a few run ins with the head when he did nothing about one child bullying 7 others might see what the other parents think in the morning! Doesn't help that one of them is a teaching assistants child and seems to have her own set of rules compared to the other kids

 

[tallybee]

That sounds awful hun, I agree with SnuggleMum about getting all your evidence then going to speak to the school.

I also remember the same sort of favouritism going on when I was small, and it was shit. I hope you get something done

 

[Tasha]

We have this exact problem too. It really isnt fair because on your LO. I hope you can get it sorted.

 

[Karlie06]

I had this problem to the point of only a few selected children were being taught properly! I had complained several times to the school about various issues but they tried to brush it under the carpet. I arranged for my son to start on that Monday and told the school he was at on the Friday. He loves his new school and his reading etc. has improved so much he is in the top group! I can honestly say it was the best thing I have ever done so don't stand for it, your kids deserve better x

 

[Eliza_V]

We had "favourites" at my second primary school. It was always the same very small group of people that were picked for the main parts in school plays (and they were nothing special!) and they always received the favourite "jobs" that everyone wanted (such as doing the over-head projector in assembly, seriously EVERY time) and the rest of us got background parts (or no parts) and got rubbish jobs like collecting and emptying the milk buckets into the outside rubbish bins.

 

[lau86]

I think it goes on alot at schools... It's a shame. OP how sweet is your little boy saying he might get it next time if he's good? What a lovely attitude. I'd be like er they got it and they always get it it's not fair!! Ha ha. I don't see why they couldn't have drawn names out of a hat. It's a special privelige to do something like that, I think it's disgusting they seem to have automatically given it to the favourites.

 

[LoraLoo]

Could have wrote this myself- its always the same kids in my daughters class, they auditioned for the school play and i said 'who got the main parts?' and was mouthing the names to my husband before my daughter told me- always the same ones, drives me mad- give the other kids a chance ffs

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think it happens often depending who the parents are! xx

 

[LoraLoo]

I think it happens often depending who the parents are! xx

Usually the ones whos parents go in and help read or are on the PTA

P.S Think i could be due the same day as you

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think it happens often depending who the parents are! xx

Usually the ones whos parents go in and help read or are on the PTA

P.S Think i could be due the same day as you

awww congrats

Yup! I was going to say- Kids of teachers and PTA children are ALWAYS the faves. It was like it when I was at school. The Mary & Joseph's of the school play are always so predictable!

 

[kittycat18]

I think you should start writing down everything they have been picked for over other children and maybe speak to a few other parents that you are close to and see if they would be interested in complaining aswell? This happened at my primary school when I was younger and all the parents complained about it among themselves but never to the school...

 

[embo216]

That is really sad I would do as the others are saying and make a note, maybe even get some more parents to come with you- power in numbers!

 

[hopeandpray]

I think the best thing to do if you think the school will take it badly or not seriously is to ask what your child could do to get these special treats or privileges. Then if they are not able to say specifically why the same children keep getting picked then they can't deny that there's favouritism going on. I think it does happen in most schools unfortunately I think sometimes it's not even on purpose as a teacher gets used to a certain person doing things so then they are automatically the first child they think of.

 

[LoraLoo]

I think the best thing to do if you think the school will take it badly or not seriously is to ask what your child could do to get these special treats or privileges. Then if they are not able to say specifically why the same children keep getting picked then they can't deny that there's favouritism going on. I think it does happen in most schools unfortunately I think sometimes it's not even on purpose as a teacher gets used to a certain person doing things so then they are automatically the first child they think of.

I do think this can be true too. I think teachers often go for the very confident children that they know we be able to stand up to a performance etc, but by keep picking the same kids, its not giving the other children a chance to boost their self esteem etc. Its the kids that are middle of the road that always seem to suffer x

 

[Twister]

I remember there being favouritism when I was at primary school, always the same kids getting picked for the 'best jobs', parts in school plays, even not getting punished for something when if another child who wasn't a favorite did the same thing they would have faced very different concequences. I think it's sad that it's so common tbh, and it's probably one of the reasons why some kids lack confidence, because they're never given the chance in the first place.

I'd definitely keep a note of everything and talk to some of the other parents about it and see if they've noticed anything. It's not fair tbh, most schools preach to the kids how everyone should be treated equally regardless of colour, race, gender etc. They should at least practice what they preach.

 

[lovemybubba]

OT- What also gets me about schools is they can't get their balance right. I remember in primary school, the children who needed extra help because they had learning difficulties etc would basically be forgotten. There was this one boy in my class who couldn't read very well so couldn't read the work sheeran's always had his hand up and would be ignored so in the end I started sitting next to him and would help him read it. But then in secondary school all the focus was on the naughty kids or the kids with behaviour problems. I understand they need extra support but to the extent where you felt like you had to swear at a teacher to get any attention at all.