Selfish?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by sjwebb, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. sjwebb

    sjwebb Well-Known Member

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    So I had a c-section with my son and I don't remember any of the procedure and for a couple hours afterwards so literally EVERYONE, got to see my son and hold him before I did and it completely hurt my feeling that I wasn't even the first one to hold him. So...this time I am going to tell my dr and nurses that I want baby to be kept in the nursery until I am in the recovery room so I am the first one to hold he/she before everyone else...well besides my husband, he can hold him/her :) but no one else...am I being selfish???
     
  2. wavescrash

    wavescrash Mom to 3 girls.

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    Not at all... that's your baby, you should get first dibbs haha.
     
  3. michelle25

    michelle25 Well-Known Member

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    not at all! i would want it the same way.
     
  4. sjwebb

    sjwebb Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies :)
     
  5. Menelly

    Menelly Well-Known Member

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    Nope, I'm same as you... my son was held by pretty much everyone on the planet before I got to hold him, and I'm still bitter almost 14 years later! I'm doing the same. My husband can hold her, but everyone else can bite me until I've gotten a chance!!
     
  6. littlemamana

    littlemamana Mommy to Colin

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    I don't think that's selfish at all :). I would hate to not be the first one to hold my baby. I think that's such a powerful thing to be the first one to hold your baby close and bond with him/her before anyone else. Plus, I mean, you're the one who has been carrying the baby all that time! It's your right to hold him/her first! It's not selfish at all.
     
  7. DollPosse

    DollPosse Well-Known Member

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    Not remotely selfish at all my dear :)
     
  8. Honeymooner

    Honeymooner Well-Known Member

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    Ah! I had a nightmare about this the other night! OH told me that was silly and that it would never happen....now just one more thing to worry about.....
     
  9. Jennifurball

    Jennifurball Mother of 1 and a bump!

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    I don't think I could hold a baby before the mother, I think it is quite selfish really.
     
  10. Mabythistime

    Mabythistime Well-Known Member

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    No not at all! And THANK YOU for the post. Now I know what to add to my list of do's and dont's for DH. Would never have have thought of it, and I can imagine that it could really be very hurtful. Sorry that the moment was taken from you :hugs:
     
  11. sjwebb

    sjwebb Well-Known Member

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    It was hurtful that I didnt get to see him or hold him for the first time so I just want to make sure that besides my husband I want to be able to touch and hold him/her first. My family and in-laws can just look at baby through the nursery I guess :)
     
  12. Star7890

    Star7890 New mummy

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    Thats what I would do, stick to your guns! xx
     
  13. sjwebb

    sjwebb Well-Known Member

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    I'm gonna try my hardest. I do not want a repeat of last time haha.
     
  14. bubbles19

    bubbles19 Mummy of 1 girl

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    not selfish at all. i'll be asking this of the drs if i have a csection its completely understandable xx
     
  15. kat2504

    kat2504 Well-Known Member

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    It isn't at all selfish, it is perfectly natural.
    It would be more selfish if you refused to allow your OH to hold the baby, as it would be unfair on the baby not to be held soon after birth. Inlaws should not be holding the baby before its own mother has had a good cuddle.

    but fingers crossed you will have an easier time of it this time and the baby will be able to be given to you straight away.
     
  16. Onemoretime5

    Onemoretime5 Mother of 6 and loving it

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    Not selfish at all! I already told my DH that I dont even want anybody at the hospital until after I am done with the c-section and having my tubes tied. Once I am in the recovery room and had a few moments alone with my babies and DH then he can all his family to come see the babies and not a second sooner!
     
  17. Mindy_mini

    Mindy_mini Mum2b of 2 under 2

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    I don't think you're being selfish wanting to be the first to hold your baby BUT I believe babies need cuddles both for comfort and for temperature regulation so consider your babys needs before making any firm decisions.

    One thing I would say is from what youre saying it appeara you had a general anaesthetic before and I would urge you to speak to your doctors and ask of you can have a spinal block rather than a GA so you can hold your baby and be with it when they are born
     
  18. sjwebb

    sjwebb Well-Known Member

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    Like I said, my husband can hold and cuddle baby all he wants because its only right and it doesn't bother me at all but besides him I want no other family members holding baby until I get a chance to bond... :( I had an epidural the first time but it didn't work and when I was on the table it was like I just fell aslep...but I was out for a few hours so I missed the first few hours he was even alive and that hurts me so bad :(
     
  19. Sew_Sweet

    Sew_Sweet Well-Known Member

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    Nooo - not selfish at all. My husband held my first before me but I didn't mind - they even asked me if it was ok since they were still fixing me up post-delivery. But I wouldn't want a hoarde of other people coming in to hold my baby other than him! That's not really right at all.
     
  20. sjwebb

    sjwebb Well-Known Member

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    Like I have pictures and literally when I was in the recovery room they were just passing him around to everyone :( Ugh, it makes me so upset to even think about it. I just don't want to have to go through that again. I talked to my husband and he says the same thing as you ladies, that its not selfish and he will try and keep everyone at bay. Besides me, he is the only one allowed into the nursery anyway so that makes me feel better and I know he will respect my wishes.
     

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