Separation anxiety - need some reassurance please

[im_mi]

Ok, so my 27 month old son, Jack, is going through a hard time at the moment. we are dealing with a few different issues that have popped up out of nowhere all of a sudden - timing of naps, bedtime, nightwaking etc. but the one that is most distressing for all of us is the separation anxiety.

I have to work 3 nights a week 6-12 in a bar, and i have done ever since he was 9 months old and up until now there has been no issue. However, now, he wont let my other half put him to bed/cuddle with him for his nap/etc if i am around. I cant leave the house without him. i cant even go to the toilet without him. I know this is a common stage to go through at this age, but i feel like i havent had a moment to myself in what feels like forever. evenings, i am either working or spending hours putting him to bed. When i go to work, he screams and cries and hangs on to me, shouting "me come with you mummy, jack come to work with you mummy, cuddle me mummy" and it breaks my heart every single time

At present we are dealing with it by avoiding all non-essential separations and in a way it is really nice to be making all of this effort to spend time with him. I mean, i really miss being able to have a bath in the evening when DH is putting him to bed or being able to do, you know, anything in the evening whatsoever (i usually go to a bible study group on a thursday evening but this is out of the question now as it starts at half 7 and the earliest i can get Jack in bed at the moment is 8.45). But i know that when baby #2 arrives, i will look back at this time fondly because it wont be just me and him anymore.

I was just looking for a bit of support and reassurance that this wont last forever. I feel pretty frazzled right now, i'm completely shattered from working, being pregnant and dealing with Jack's night time needs and i would love to be able to just disappear for a nice hot bath on a sunday afternoon like i used to! and DH is feeling very rejected. He understands and tries to be fine with it but i can see that he really misses spending special one-on-one time with him. whenever i go, he is fine within about 10 minutes which is really reassuring but its still so upsetting for all of us. I wish i could be a full time SAHM.

 

[littlestar]

honey! sorry i can't advise but at least you can off load it all here!

i'm sure it'll get better.

 

[im_mi]

thank you hun

 

[MummyKaya]

 

[enola]

you're doing amazingly and are such a strong and inspiring Christian mummy...I'll keep you in my prayers
I just know Jack will remember how you were there for him when he needed it most, and he obviously just adores you so much. x

 

[im_mi]

thats so sweet enola, thank you i know i am doing the right thing, being there for him unconditionally, reminding myself of that makes it easier.

Im so amazed though, this afternoon he actually asked to go down to town with his daddy! when he left he got a little bit upset but i told him he could either stay with me or go with daddy and then he happily skipped off with him! amazing! so i hope this is the start of things to come I dont understand how people can think that the way to "treat" separation anxiety is by separating from your child more. Im confident that he will be okay soon.

 

[littlestar]