Seriously starting to resent OH...losing it

[Googiepie]

So, LO is going through wonder week 8 she's sleeping less, really fussy, she won't eat properly, etc. My OH works and his job mainly consists of driving from work site to work site, no labour or heavy labour involved now that doesn't mean he doesn't get tired it just means that his job isn't as hard. Anyway, I've posted on here before regarding him not helping out and it doesn't seem to be getting any better even after discussing it with him. His comment tonight "all you do is take care of the baby" implying like it's just a breeze. Like really?!! So it must have been fairy that came and did all the laundry and made sure you had clean clothes? Or picked up all your clothes and garbage up after you because you just leave it wherever? I had maybe two hours sleep the night before while he slept a good 8 to 9 hours, did I wake him up once to help? Nope! I let him get his rest. He didn't even have to be at work till 1pm. Tonight baby was really fussy and she wouldn't eat or sleep or anything. He tried settling her...for 2 minutes. I guess he just didn't understand why she didn't fall asleep after being rocked back and forth for 30 seconds and then put down. Then gets mad at me like wtf did I do? I'm just at my wits end!!! I can't take it anymore. I NEED sleep. I'm not even asking for a whole night just a few hours. Now don't get me wrong I love being with my lg and I love taking care of her but sometimes I just need a break, even a small one. He gets to go out with his friends and party and drink. I don't complain. Just last weekend he went out two nights in a row with his friends, I didn't mind. I'm so sick of it, I really am. Hats off to all the single moms! Must be a lot stronger than me. Anyways, I'm just rambling and venting and hoping baby sleeps.

 

[alicecooper]

Oh hun that's rubbish. I's just flat out tell him you're going out for the day (a weekend day) and that he's on baby and house duty. Then maybe he'll understand how hard it is.

 

[Feebster1]

Oh honey thats not good!!!

You need a break too, him going to work is a break from homelife so you need one too.

Agree, tell him (dont ask, tell, its his child too!) your going out for the day/afternoon whatever and go!
Leave him notes of feeding etc if you need to but put your foot down.

I had to do this with my oh before he realised how hard it is and now he helps regardless of the fact he works full time! I dont expect much in the way of housework as he does work but i expect him to fully engage with his daughter when home.

Start as you mean to go on honey or things will never improve!

Good Luck.

 

[Kanichen34]

Oh yes wonder week 8 - that was such a hard week, in fact we're only just coming out the otherside. It does get better its just they become aware of their surroundings so completely over stimulated - nightmare! Hope she settles for you soon and Hubby gets his act together.

 

[bcos21]

I don't know anything about wonder weeks, my son will be 11 weeks on weds, but he has been sleeping horribly lately. I am so tired and my OH works an office job and NEVER helps with the baby. I mean, I have to demand the 10 minutes a day for a shower. I was so sleep deprived as I was sitting there rocking the baby, I looked over at him snoring in bed and I just wanted to smack him while he was sleeping LOL. He seems to think he is making some great sacrifice by working right now... I go back to work in 4 weeks and don't you know that I will be doing the exact same thing when I am working too. Sometimes, I wonder what they thought having a baby would be like.

 

[Googiepie]

I think I'm just going to plan a day out and leave him with baby. Hopefully he sees how hard it is and I don't just sit on my ass eating candy and relax. He knows how to do the feeding and everything I think he is just being lazy. He thinks because he works he doesn't need to help out with LO. I offered to get a job and go to work but he was like "no no you just stay with the baby for now". He's just driving me mad!! Hopefully the situation improves because I'm at the point of just going to stay at mom and dads for a while.

 

[Noo]

I definitely hear you regarding wanting to punch sleeping partners upside the head...

 

[lanaross]

I am a strong believer that until our wonderful smart handsome men spend time with their babies without any extra help just like we do every day, there is no way they will ever get it just how hard this work is. 24 hours is ideal, but even 4 hours would work, especially in the evening when everybody is fed up. The point is NOT to teach them a lesson but to get them to understand our POV and get help when we ask for it. I did it with DD and it changed DH's perception once and for all. I am planning to do it this week with DS as well, just as a refresher DH keeps offering it, I am going to take him up on it.

 

[shanny]

did his mum do everything at home ?

my oh said this to me the other day ...........but his dad worked most of the day all day

whereas my husband works not nearly as much but tried to use this as a crappy excuse for being lazy

they are useless sometimes...............go and leave him with baby and a small joblist